Phineas and Ferb/Powerpuff Girls Crossover

Tri State Showdown

Chapter 3: The Plan?

Disclaimer: I don't own Phineas and Ferb. It belongs to Dan Povenmire & Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. I also do not own The Powerpuff Girls. That belongs to Craig McCracken, whom I am very disappointed to know will not have any role in the upcoming PPG special coming to Cartoon Network later this year. (Yes, apparently that's happening)

"So, we've been sitting here for the past several minutes exchanging witty banter and stuff, and I-I still have one question for you." Doofenshmirtz said to the girls, still trapped in the glass tube. Perry was still trapped in his own tube.

"Only one?" Blossom fired back.

"Why don't you girls have fingers or toes? You know, th-they're just like little blobs. Not even thumbs!"

The girls examined their arms and feet. The fact that they didn't have fingers or toes never actually bothered them; in fact nobody ever questioned it. Not even Professor Utonium. "It doesn't bother us. It's just how we've always been. Nobody's ever said anything about it. Not even the Professor." Bubbles explained.

"Well i-it's just weird. A-And I also notice you keep referring to some guy named "Professor." A-Are you sure you guys aren't spies or something? Is that supposed to be a codename?"

Blossom giggled. "No, Professor is our dad. Well, technically, he's the guy that created us."

"Created you?"

"Yeah. See...we weren't exactly made in the conventional way..." Blossom attempted to explain.

"Uh huh."

"We were...we were made...in a lab."

"So what? You weren't born in a hospital. There's no shame in that. My daughter Vanessa was born on a plane. Don't ask me why my wife was riding with me. The doctor warned me that it wasn't safe for her to be riding planes so close to-"

"No no no no no. You're not following me. We were made in a lab." Blossom emphasized. "Made. In a lab."

"Yes, and my daughter was made on a plane. W-What part of that are you not getting?"

Blossom slapped her forehead. "OK, try to follow me here. We are not normal little girls..."

"Uh huh."

"We weren't made like normal little girls."

"Right."

"We weren't made using two parents and a seed..."

"OK, OK."

"We were made with a special recipe...in a cauldron...in a lab...by accident..."

"Well Vanessa was an accident, too. But that still doesn't tell me anything." At this point Blossom was beyond frustrated. Perry could only sit back and try not to laugh. "You know what? Forget this witty banter. I'm just gonna run some tests on you to determine what exactly I'm dealing with. Norm! Grab their tube and bring them into my "experiment room." Oh and bring Perry the Platypus, too."

"You have an experiment room?"

"Yeah, you know that door in your room I told you you're never allowed to open? T-That's my experiment room."

"Why do you never let me open that door?"

"There's some freaky stuff down there, man."

So Norm pushed both tubes carrying the girls & Perry towards his room and through the door he was never allowed to open. He carefully pushed them down the stairs and placed the girls on a big table next to a computer and Perry on a separate table to watch it all unfold. Doofenshmirtz hooked the girls up to a bunch of wires and started performing tests on them.

"Um, what are you doing to us?"

"Obviously I'm not gonna find out anything the old fashioned way. I need to up the ante a little, and what better way than with technology I have no clear understanding of?" He started typing things into his computer. "Now...let's see just what the deal is with you little girls..." His typewriter started jerking around. "That's right. In a few moments, my computer will have run dozens of tests on you and then a little piece of paper will come out and I will know most everything about you..." A single piece of paper came out of the printer. "Like the fact that you are made out of sugar...spice and...everything nice?"

Doofenshmirtz had to study the paper in is hand for a moment. The information on it was completely correct, yet he was convinced it was some sort of prank. "Is this some sort of joke? I do not play games!"

"That explains why you never want to play catch with me." Norm retorted.

"It's not a joke." Blossom barked back. "Professor made us in his lab out of Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice!"

"Plus an accidental dose of Chemical X!" Bubbles added.

"Chemical X, you say? Isn't that some sort of ecstasy thing?" He asked them. At that moment his cellphone rang. Doofenshmirtz checked the caller ID but did not recognize the number. Nevertheless he answered. "Hello, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!" He sang the last three words to the tune of his jingle.

"What a narcacist..." Buttercup whispered to her sisters.

"It's not ecstasy!" The voice on the other line shouted, leaving Doofenshmirtz quite surprised. "Chemical X is not ecstasy! It's just a generic letter to a generic concept for the purpose of the show. What is so hard about that to understand?"

Doofenshmirtz stayed silent for a brief moment. "Who is this? How did you get my number? Don't ever call here again!" And he hung up hastily. "Boy, talk about your crank calls." He turned back to the girls. "So, am I to understand that you girls were actually made in a lab? As opposed to the traditional way?"

"Well yeah, that's what we've been telling you." Blossom said back. "Wait. What do you mean "traditional way?"

"Never mind, it's not important. What's important is that we've got ourselves totally acquainted now. H-Hey, I know this is gonna sound silly, but d-do you mind if I take one little photo with you for my blog?"

"Your blog?"

"Yeah, I do this thing online for my organization. See I'm in this evil organization; we call ourselves the "League Of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments in Naughtiness."

"You call yourselves L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.?" Buttercup asked having figured out the acronym. Doofenshmirtz shook his head, annoyed. (A callback to "Nerdy Dancin'")

"The name's not important. So, what do you say? One for the blog?" He took out his phone and set it to the camera function.

"Well..."

"Great." He walked over to their tube and stood to the side while holding out his phone. He snapped one photo, putting on the largest grin he's put on since the first photo he ever took (i.e. "It's About Time") Doofenshmirtz studied the photo. "Oh, look at this! It's perfect. And look..." He showed the pic to Perry. "I even got you in there, Perry the Platypus. Oh look, you're so cute with your little smile..." Perry was scowling in the picture. "And check it out! My phone is programmed to upload my blog right to the L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. website. Come on, Norm. Let's get outta this dump!"

Norm picked up both tubes and followed Doofenshmirtz out of the room back to the central room. He placed them down in the middle right next to each other. Once his tube was safely back on the ground, Perry reached into his fedora and pulled out a laser. He started firing off shot after shot at the glass. But, none of them could break the glass. "Nice try, Perry the Platypus. But those glass are completely indestructible from the inside."

"What do you mean from the inside?" Buttercup asked Doofenshmirtz.

"What do you mean "What do you mean from the inside?" It's exactly how it sounds. It can't be destroyed from the inside but the glass is actually quite fragile from the outside. Yeah, all I have to do is just tap the glass once and it'll shatter into a thousand pieces."

"Want me to demonstrate?" Norm said outloud. He prepared to land a punch on the glass, but Doofenshmirtz started yelling loudly and incoherently to stop him.

"Wait a minute! Wait! Wait! Stop!" He shouted, and Norm received the message before his fist hit the glass. "What's the matter with you? Are you trying to foil my plans?"

"It's only going to get foiled anyway."

"You know you're really getting on my nerves. Anyway, enough introductions. It's time for us to get to the nitty-gritty here. It's time for me to tell you my latest evil scheme..."

"Wait, wait, wait! Hold the phone!" Blossom shouted. "You're actually gonna tell us your plan? Usually the villains from Townsville don't say their plans. They just go out and do their thing."

"Really? Well, that's kind of rude. I tell Perry the Platypus my evil scheme all the time."

"And...you still think that has nothing to do with the fact that you always fail."

"Not at all. Why?"

"Be...never mind. Just tell us your plan."

"Thank you. Anyway, you girls are in luck today. I am about to unleash my most diabolical, most sinister scheme yet!"

"Finally, something interesting!" Buttercup exclaimed, which annoyed Doofenshmirtz.

"Anywho...pop quiz! What is the single most rebellious thing known to man in the entire universe?"

"Well that depends on-"

Doofenshmirtz interrupted Blossom, loudly imitating a buzzer sound to do so. "Wrong! You're wrong! T-There's only one right answer here! No, the single most rebellious thing in the entire word is the most obvious thing you could possibly thing of..." He took out a flashlight, turned it on, and held it close to his face to create a dramatic effect. "Teenagers..."

The girls, again, exchanged looks with each other. "Huh?" They all said simultaneously. As for Perry, he was busy doing something else. Doofenshmirtz beginning his rant about his latest scheme gave him ample time to send out a distress signal through his watch.

"You heard me. Teenagers. I mean, think about it. All they do is whine and complain when they don't get their way, defy their superiors, destroy public property, prank dial their neighbors at 3 in the morning...anyway, my point is, teenagers are totally immature and unfit to be in positions of power. A-And I'm just talking like in a general consensus. Obviously there are some exceptions. Of course I'm talking about my own daughter, Vanessa." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of him trying to feed a baby Vanessa. "She's mostly well rounded, except for an occasional display of rebellion against my desire to take over the Tri-State Area. But that's understandable. I never raised her with the intention of being my right-hand man, o-or woman, in her case. You know, because she's a girl."

"Where are you going with this?" Bubbles asked.

"Nevermind. The point I'm trying to make is teenagers are the single biggest threat to authority known to man today. That is why I have created my most diabolical, my most sinister invention to date!" He walked into the other room and came out pushing a giant laser. "Behold...THE REBEL-INATOR!" He shouted loudly. "Or i-Or is Rebel-inator. Rebel, rebel. Re-I-I always get confused when words have different pronunciations. I can see why some people would say English is the hardest language to learn.

"Anyway, back to my scheme. One zap from my Rebel-inator will turn its victim unruly and obnoxious, defiant of anyone who tries to tell them what to do. So I'm going to use this on the mayor and turn him into an obnoxious, defiant little boy that refuses to listen to anyone around him. Once the people of Danville get a good look at their beloved mayor acting like a immature teenager, they will realize that he is completely unfit to be mayor and they will kick him out of office! Then I will step in and takeover, giving me complete control of Danville. And then I will seize control of the entire..." He reached into his lab coat and pulled out a giant map. He held it out towards the girls; he then took out a magnifying glass and held it over the Tri-State Area, showing the girls. "Tri-State Area." He said much more quietly. The girls again exchanged looks. "What? I need to have manageable goals."

"But you don't have to do that." Bubbles said. "The mayor is already an incompetent man who can barely think above the level of a 5 year old..."

"Bubbbles," Blossom interrupted her sister. "Different city, different mayor."

"Ohhhhhhh. Right, my bad."

Meanwhile, Perry had finished sending his distress signal. He quickly rejoined the conversation before anyone could detect that he had checked out of it.

"Anywho, it's time for me to unleash my evil! But first, Norm, I need you to do something for me." Doofenshmirtz pulled out a piece of paper - the one with the information he collected from his examinations of the girls - and handed it to Norm. "Just follow the instructions on the paper to the letter. Understand?"

"Secretly, I'm very lonely." Norm answered, but left to obey Doofenshmirtz's orders.

"Yeah, that's great, Norm."

As for Perry's distress signal...

Far away from Doofenshmirtz's lair stood the O.W.C.A. Headquarters, where Monogram and Carl were hard at work...anointing a new intern.

"Welcome aboard, Mr. Glory (Major Glory) to the Organization Without a Cool Acronym. Here it is with great pleasure that we welcome you to the never-ending fight against evil. Now, do you have any questions before we begin."

The disgruntled and disgraced superhero looked quite bitter. "How dare you refer to me in that manner! I am MAJOR GLORY! Captain of the Justice-" But before he could finish his banter he found himself being electrocuted harshly. He screamed at the pain.

"Around here, bub, there is only one Major around here. And that's me! Major Francis Monogram! And you will address me as such! Now there's a toilet on the bottom floor with your name on it. The faster you clean it, the faster your community service hours will fly by. Now get going!" Major Glory sulked and turned around walking away. "That'll teach you to litter."

Suddenly there was a loud beeping sound that filled the room. Carl turned to the giant computer screen. "Sir, we're getting a distress signal from one of our agents."

"Impossible! All of our agents are off today except for Agent P, and he never deploys a..." Monogram studied the screen carefully. Perry's distress signal consisted of video showing him and the Powerpuff Girls trapped in glass tubes and Dr. Doofenshmirtz exchanging banter with the girl. Neither Monogram or Carl recognized the girls, but they instantly deduced that Perry was in danger. "Uh oh. It looks like Agent P is in danger."

"I don't recognize those girls. Do you?" Carl asked.

"No, no I don't. Now they could be just a diversion, a trick from Doofenshmirtz to distract Agent P from his mission."

"Sir, why must everything be a "trick" with you? Why can't anything just be how they seem for once?"

"Always assume everything is a trick. That was one of the most important lessons I ever learned at...The Academy..."

"Hey Francis! Wanna go to the movies?"

"Oh boy! The movies!"

"Psych! We can't go. I don't have a car!"

Tears began swelling in Monogram's eyes. Carl rolled his. "Uh, sir...?"

Monogram snapped back to reality. "Oh, right. Sorry."

"Sir, since all of the other agents are off today, should we step into action? It would finally give me a chance to unleash the second verse of my theme song."

"No, no, this calls for...wait, you wrote a second verse to your theme song?"

"I sure did. Wanna hear it?"

"Uh, no, no. N-No thank you, Carl. Maybe another time. No, this situation calls for only the most elite backup."

"But with all of our agents off today, who you gonna call?"

"I-" He quickly turned to his intern again. "Did you just make a Ghostbusters joke?"

"How was that a Ghostbusters joke?"

"Nevermind. Agent P needs help, and I know the perfect partner to step in..."

Meanwhile, somewhere away from Danville, at the headquarters of C.O.W.C.A., the Canadian Organization Without a Cool Acronym, Agent Lyla Lolliberry was busy doing some paperwork at her desk. As she was finishing up, her computer started beeping loudly. Coming to attention, she put her paperwork aside and entered some commands to make it stop.

Once the beeping did stop, a screen popped up showing her boss - a skinny, bald, middle-aged man with a long, gray beard showed up. His named was Howard Homonym, leader of C.O.W.C.A. "Agent Lolliberry, we've got a situation." (A/N: And voiced by Nathan Fillion, at least in my busy little head)

"What's the trouble, sir?" She asked her boss.

"I've just received intel from our American counterpart organization. It seems your former partner Agent Perry the Platypus is in trouble and he is in dire need of backup."

She stood up instantly. "P needs help? Where is he?"

"He's at Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. and he's apparently trapped in a glass tube." Another window popped up, showing video from Perry's view. It showed Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbbls trapped in another tube while Doofenshmirtz was busy bragging about his newest scheme.

"Wait, are those other hostages in that other tube? And why don't they have any fingers or toes?"

"We don't know all the details, but P is clearly in trouble and nobody in his division is available. You are his last resort."

"Oh, so I'm not the "go-to gal?" I'm just the last reserve in case nobody else can do it? Nice to know he thinks so highly of me after all we've been through."

"Actually, that was me. I put you in that spot."

"Wait, really? Why?"

"Well, I was still really mad at you for taking Freddy to your birthday movie instead of me. I'm the Big Kahuna for crying out loud! It's my birthday, and it should be a national holiday for all I-"

Lyla, confused over her boss's rant, just shook her head, collected her jacket and left for Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, aiming to protect Perry and rescue the girls in captivity despite having no idea who they were and what the plan was.

Unfortunately, neither did Perry. And things were about to get much more complicated from here.

End of Chapter 3.

Sorry for the long wait. I promise it's gonna get much more interesting from here on out. Don't forget to Read & Review!