September 30, 2009

"You've never been someone who is over emotional or irrational." she said to me, sitting her steaming cup of tea back on the cafe table, "This just isn't like you, Dan."

"How are you expecting me to react to that?" I ask, absently playing with my chestnut colored hair.

"You could try with a bit of honestly!" she shrilly demands, "Try sounding like you care at all!"

"Of course I care, Jenny." I smile at her, hoping it dazzles her as usual, "You're my girlfriend."

Before she can reply, we are interrupted by the dinging sound of my iPhone. I know right away that it is an alert from my YouTube app, which can only mean one thing: he's posted a new video. Instantly, the world around me disappears, and all I can see is my screen brightening as I begin playing his latest upload. It is nothing short of amazing. He answering questions, and being as funny and cute as usual. When he jokingly suggests that someone ask him on a date, my face goes red. I wonder if my girlfriend notices it, but I am too engrossed in the video to notice or care. The video ends, and I feel the usual emptiness that comes with the end of an AmazingPhil video. He is so brilliant. I sit back in my seat, and ponder the video I just saw.

"This is exactly what I mean, Daniel!" Jenny is shrieking at my again, and so I look up at her with a face of annoyance.

"Can't you see I'm thinking?" I shout back, not realizing the exact volume of my voice is a bit inappropriate for a cafe.

"Maybe I should leave then." she snarls, "That ought to give you plenty of time to think about your amazing Phil!"

"Hmm..." I shrug, my mind already back to Phil and his videos.

"Daniel!" Jenny is practically in tears, "I am saying I am breaking up with you! Say something!"

My mind is vaguely aware of the fact that she is asking me to stop her from going, but I just can't do it. I don't mean to be rude to her, honestly, but there is something that has been going on with me lately, and I don't know how to stop it. It started as simply enjoying Phil's videos, and maybe it grew from there. Now, I can not deny that it's becoming something deeper. I can't stop thinking about him. It isn't just his videos anymore. It's his eyes; they're so blue and deep and beautiful. His face is in all of my dreams. I can hear his sweet voice all the time. As I watch my now ex-girlfriend walk away from me, it becomes clear to me that I am in love with him. This thought does not surprise me. I had known I was bisexual for a couple years now. Though lately, as cringe as the thought was, I felt like I was becoming "Phil-sexual." As my phone alerted me of the tweet Phil had sent out about his new video, I was already beginning to formulate a plot. See, now that I knew I was in love with him, it became my number one goal in life to get into his life. Phil Lester was going to be mine.

Over the next few weeks, I sculpted and perfected my plan until I had come up with something solid. On the 16th of October, I uploaded my first video to YouTube. It wasn't anything to stunning. I pretended that some friends had wanted me to upload an introduction before I uploaded the real stuff. That would give me time to think. When I watched my video back, I was satisfied. My tanned skin looked nice, in contrast with my dark eyes, and body language, which I made sure was vaguely sexual. I spent hours practicing that actually, and it really paid off. I've never seen myself as someone who is very attractive, but I want Phil to notice me. I want him to be interested in me, and love me back! Oh who am I kidding, I dejectedly think. Even if he wasn't totally straight, I doubt he would find me interesting. Phil was, after all, an internet celebrity, and I was just a too tall kid with an obsession. I slumped down on my bed, and buried my face in the pillow. It was in that moment that my entire life changed forever. All I heard was a ringing alert from my phone, and when I saw the words on the push text, my eyes grew wide. My heart began beating faster, and suddenly became like gun fire. I couldn't breathe. I was shaking. Was I hot? Was I cold? I was sweating. How was this real. AmazingPhil. Phil Lester. He tweeted me back! I started jumping up and down like I was on a trampoline, and I could hear my mother yelling at me to stop but my excitement had completely taken over my limbs. This is what pure joy feels like. I calm myself. It wasn't exactly like I planned, but he noticed me. I stop and think to myself: how can I make it happen again?

Chapter End

Please review! This is my first phanfic ever and I really need advice! Thank you!