Johanna went to bed at nine and everyone left at eight. Hallie is out for the night, and it just leaves me and Peeta. It's midnight now, though, and I can't sleep.
Teaching is getting really hard. I'm starting to just want to talk to the kids instead of teach them. I haven't graded papers in over a week, it's hard with Hallie because I can't nurse her and she only allows the bottle once in a blue moon. She cries a lot at work when I put her down, which disrupts the class. And I'd much rather nurse her then bottle feed her.
And honestly, I miss Peeta like crazy. I miss waking up with him in the morning and not having to worry about being late to work because I don't have to go. The restaurant is such a success that Peeta and I don't even have to work down there anymore. I miss having sex with him and being able to wake up in his arms and only have to get up to get our daughter. We shared a bed before I started working. I miss that too, waking up with Peeta and then playing with Hallie in the morning.
I miss him, and I hate going to work now. I want to quit my job. I sigh and take another sip of my water. Then I stare out the window.
I feel entitled to stay though…
"Babe? Honey, what's wrong?" Peeta whispers. I look away from the window and look at him. The window seat is in the dining room.
"I miss you. I miss waking up with you and begin able to stay in your arms all day. I miss us playing with Hallie in our bed in the morning. I miss Johanna joining us playing with her. I miss us being with Hallie together all day. I hate teaching. I hate that I can't nurse her. She doesn't let me put her down and she cries when I do, which doesn't bug me, but it disrupts the class. I end up talking away the period instead of teaching. I hate my job Peeta. I miss you."
"I miss you too. I miss you a lot Katniss, I've been missing you since the day you started." He whispers. "We never have time anymore." He sits down across from me.
"I feel like a terrible best friend to my friends, I feel like a terrible mother to my daughter and I feel like a terrible wife to my husband. Peeta, I need help. What do I do?"
"You quit. Katniss, we don't even need the money." He pulls me into his lap. "Quit your job." He whispers.
"Then I feel like a terrible teacher. You know what someone told me today? That they all look forward to their class with me. That I'm the best teacher in the world. I just feel terrible." Tears start sliding down my cheeks. He wipes them.
"You're stressed again, aren't you?' he whispers. I bury my head in his shoulder.
"Yes." I whisper.
"Quit. Katniss, when we move, we're going to find you a hobby. Something that amuses you, something you can do at home." He whispers. "Katniss, tomorrow, I want you to quit your job. I'll call Finnick right now and tell him to tell Annie. I know he's still awake." He says. He goes to push me off his lap, but I tighten my arms around his neck. He moves my legs so they're locked around his waist, and then he stands up and carries me off to our bedroom.
"Brainless?" Jo asks. Peeta sets me down. "Hal's hungry. I heard her crying and went in there, and she's hungry." She say.
"Kay, thanks Jo." I walk into Hal's room as Peeta goes off to call Finn. She follows me. She doesn't care if I walk around naked, so I just pull off my shirt and pick up Hallie and expose myself. I move her so she can latch on, and her cries fall silent. "I'm quitting my job," I tell Jo.
She rises her eyebrows. "Why?"
"I miss you guys. I miss being able to nurse when I have to, and to wake up when I want, and for me, you and Peeta to play with Hallie. I miss hanging out with you guys. I miss it. I hate teaching."
"When are you quitting?" she asks.
"In the morning." I reply. Peeta walks into the bedroom.
"Annie wants to talk to you." he hands me his phone.
"Hello?" I ask.
"I'm quitting too. I didn't want to tell you…but I'm quitting. In the morning." She says.
"Me too." I reply.
…s…
I wake up, naked. Underneath me, Peeta is also naked. I feel a pang in my chest when I remember I have to get up. His warm skin feels like fire beneath mine, and I practically force myself to get off him and get in the shower. I double and triple check my mind to make sure that this is definitely what I want, and I know it is.
When I get back in the room, Peeta has on sweatpants, Hallie is asleep on his bare chest and he's asleep, too. I smile and take a picture of them and set it at my background. Hallie is loosely holding onto his index finger and his other hand is on her back. She's only in a diaper, and it's clean. I get dressed in white skinny jeans, my leather boots, a black bra and a turquoise long sleeve button up shirt, which I tuck into my jeans. Annie walks into my bedroom.
"That is adorable." She whispers, looking at Hal and Peeta. She takes a picture of it. I smile and kiss Hallie's head goodbye, and kiss Peeta's forehead.
"Baby," I run my fingers through his hair.
"Hmm?" he mumbles, starting to rub Hallie's back as he opens his eyes.
"Can you move towards the middle? I'm scared she's going to roll to the floor." I whisper. He scoots to the middle of the bed, grabbing my pillows and using them, instead of his own.
"Kay," he mumbles.
"I'll see you when I get back, I promise." I kiss him, his lips this time, and then kiss Hal's head again.
"Love you," he mumbles.
"I love you too." I whisper back. I grab my phone and put it in my back pocket.
"Baby?" he stops me in the doorway to the bedroom.
"Yes?" I ask.
"Don't forget your coat." He whispers. I know he won't let me leave till I've got it on, so I just pull on my jean jacket and leave. Annie and I are already late, so if we were to go to first period, the class has already started.
We walk into the office and go down to Boggs office. Annie knocks. "Come in," he says. We walk into the room. "Ah, you two know your late, right?" he asks.
"Yes, and we're sorry." I sit down, and so does Annie. He knows thisb is serious. "We're moving…to Vermont…and we can't work here because we have stuff to do at home and I have a daughter to raise and a husband to keep a relationship with." I say.
"And I'm in a relationship and we're not going to get anywhere in life if we don't get to be around one another." Annie says. He sighs and clicks his pen on his desk.
"I presume you can't work today then?" he asks.
"Correct." I reply. He sighs.
"Alright…just go upstairs and get your belongings. Say goodbye to the kids, too. We don't have anyone covering the classes just yet, so I'll have to do it myself. Just come down when you're done." We both nod and head upstairs.
"Ms. Everdeen! There you are!" Harson exclaims. I just nod and move towards the desk. "What are we doing today?"
"I don't know, to be honest. I guess just talk." I say.
"the whole class?" Brady asks.
"Yes," I reply. They all continue to chat as I start to gather my things. I'm so glad I left the stroller.
"What are you doing? Why are you clearing off your desk?" Megan demands.
"Because I've quit my job." I say. Silence. I don't look up, I just stay silent. I don't want them to get pissed, but I can't keep doing this.
"Why?" Hallie whispers. I shut the drawer I've just emptied with my knee.
"Because…it's too much. I never get to see Peeta anymore, I'm drifting apart from my family, and I can't raidse Hallie without Peeta, which is exactly what's happening because he's got things to do too, and he can't come in as much as he wants to."
"Your only here until one! Hang out with everyone when you get home!" Megan exclaims.
"I have papers to grade when I get home." I reply.
Nobody speaks. I take down the posters and start to put things in the stroller. Annie sticks her head in my room and raises her eyebrows at me. I get the little bit of stuff I have in the office and put it in the stroller. "Well…bye." I wave at them, and a few of them get up and hug me.