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Chapter 12: Heart to Heart
Author's Notes: Plz feed me back and tell me what u think about this chapter
BPOV
I dragged Faith behind me all the way to one of the rooms and closed the door, no what I mean is that I locked the door and hide the key inside my jeans pocket. I set on the bed and I'm staring at her. She is standing in front of me fidgeting and the look on her face is priceless and I want to laugh but I'm holding my self.
"Why Faith?" she think for a moment and looks at me with confusion and I know she didn't understand what I'm asking "Why, what? B"
"Why did you changed sides and betrayed us?" she take a deep breath and start mumbling things about jealousy and not thinking straight and how the mayor treat her and manipulated with her feelings and my only comment about what she's saying is that those two and half months in college did really improve her skills, looks like she was really working hard to make me pass.
Beyond this comment, I don't buy anything she's saying. I did offer her my help more than once; I stand beside her against Kakistos and the only time I stood against her was with the Gwendolyn Post incident and she knew that I was right about it, maybe not completely right but sort of.
I let her talk and I don't say anything, if she doesn't want to be honest and tell me the real reason then there is no use of what we're doing. I let her finish and I get up, unlock the door and start walking away.
She starts walking behind me calling after me so I turn and look straight in to her eyes. She's looking any where avoiding my stare, she's not an idiot. She knows I didn't buy her explanation.
"Buffy, what did I do wrong?" she wants to play but I'm really tired of this "I don't have time to play your games Faith; it's your choice now. I'm very tired; I spent the last two months trying to clean after you" I can't control my self and I start crying, I'm really very tired. I can't help my self and I think I'm reaching in to her cuz her eyes are full of tears "I'm exhausted, not only physically but emotionally too, I can't keep analyzing all your moves and your words" I take deep breath "When your ready to be honest with me, you know where to find me" I start walking again but she says something.
"What if the reason will make things weirder?" I can feel fear in her voice "I don't think there could be weirder than this situation, and even if there is we will deal" she hesitate for a minute and point for me to enter the room again so I did and she follow me and closes the door behind her.
We sit without a word for almost fifteen minutes, every few minutes she fidget a little and open her mouth and nothing is coming out. This is really getting ridicules "Faith, I don't mean to push you but I hope you can start talking before I had my first heart attack" I smiled a little to encourage her and she return the smile and take a deep breath and I think she's blushing a little, so now I'm scared of what she's gonna say
"Buffy, I don't know how to say that but..." she take another breath "the reason of what I did is that i...I" she looks at the floor and I left her chin up, she's blushing again "I love you" I think she said that she loves me, So where is the problem "I love you too Faith and I always thought that we could be best friends..." she's looking at me in a wired way "No Buffy, I didn't mean it like that, I really love you" that's what she said before "Yes Faith.." and before I complete, her words hit me again "Oh! You love me" she nodded and she's feeling uncomfortable now and I can feel that she's doing her best not to run away and this is the only thought in my mind too "Could you wait here just for a second" I say the sentence and ran out the door and close it behind me.
This is really not what I expected and I don't know how to react for this new information. If she did all of that because of love what will she do if she hated me? And I don't think she's joking, she didn't sound like joking and she knows that I will be mad at her if she is joking.
I gather my courage and enter again, she's sitting on the bed her head between her hands, she panic a little when she sees me, and I guess she's expecting me to yell at her. I kneel in front of her so we're in same eye level and I never notice before how expressional her eyes could be. I can see all sorts of emotions in those brown eyes. I take a deep breath.
"Faith I don't know what to say" she try to say something but I wave my hand as no, so she nodded and wait for me to complete "I don't understand how loving me could be a reason for you to destroy even your self and I really need an explanation because I feel very bad now" I look in to her eyes and nodded for her to speak
"It's not your fault, I'm sorry if I made you feel that me loving you" she's blushing again and I can't help but smile a little cause it's so cute "is the reason of what I did, it was the reason but not like that, what I meant to say" ok this is not good, I think we will have to go back to asking question strategy "Slow down Faith" she looks at me with confusion.
"When did this happened?" she thought for a moment "I don't know exactly but before Angel return from hell" wow that far "Ok, so what happened? I don't understand?" she takes a deep breath "We were cool together and we were getting pretty close and then I discovered that you were hiding Angel, then all the incidents that come after that were pulling us apart more and more" she sighs and looks at me "This is not what I want to say, but I think being lonely kinda make me crazy, I have all this time to think and do nothing else" talking with Faith is like running in circles.
"Thinking of What Faith?" she's blushing again "Of you, damn it Buffy this is too hard and I don't know what to say" she's right I guess it will be better if we go back to SunnyDale and try to switch body's first and then we can deal with the love issue.
"You're right, what do u think of going back to SunnyDale tomorrow?" she's scared and she must be "But how we will do it?"
"I will pretend to be you and stay at the motel and you will continue your little display" I know I sound mean but this is all her fault "You can stay in your house" "No, they will not be convinced, and while I'm playing your character, I will try to be nice to all of them to make a new impression for you" she's looking at the floor not saying a word just nodding her head but I feel she want to say something
"What? Don't play games, if you want to say something say it?" she give me her sarcastic smile "That's the problem B, I always say what I want but now I feel like I own you and I don't know if I can do this, I don't like to feel restricted" she has a point but she did a lot of mistakes too, I don't know what to say so I just nodded to her "We'll see what we can do"
"So, tomorrow?" I say with a smile, I don't want her to feel bad all the time. She nodded and I start walking toward the door but I have to ask this I really have, I don't know why but I have to ask. So I turn to face her again "Faith?" she looks at me and she looks so young and innocent at this moment.
"Do you still?" she looks at me confused at first and when she understands she mouthed the word 'Oh' and think for a minute and I'm really eager to know, which is wired because I don't know why I want to know. After a while she looks at me and I can see her eyes shining "Does it matter?"
She says those words and throw herself on the bed facing the wall, I can tell that she's crying and I know this is hard for her and I'm really thinking of something nice to say, but this is strange not in a million years I could tell that Faith loved me.
I approach the bed and lay beside her on my side, my face is toward her back, she flinched a little and tries to move but I hold her waist to keep her in her position.
"Don't ever think that I don't care about you Faith, I did care before and I do care now and you must know that by now. If I didn't care I wouldn't do anything to be friends again" she's sniffing trying her best to be as quite as she can. I hear her say in a very low voice like she's whispering the words to her self.
"But you killed me for Angel" and I can't hold my tears any more, I know that by the word kill she doesn't mean the stab part only, she means emotionally and I don't know what to do so I turn her slowly so she's facing me and I take her in my arms. She sops harder and I'm whispering how sorry I am in her ears. And I think this is the first time I feel that sorry for some one this way, and I never thought that Faith could be that sensitive. She still loves me and I can't imagine how she managed to keep all of those feelings at her heart and suddenly she whispers a word that makes my heart shedders into one thousand peaces. I hear her say "I thought I could make my life better, I thought I could make my life better" so I whisper back "It will be, believe me it will be".