I own no one but my own people

"Nick, what are you doing here?" asked Olivia, struggling with every ounce she had not to give anything away, clutching the door frame for support.

Amaro greeted her with a smile and held up her purse to her. "You forgot your purse on your desk last night."

Olivia mustered a fake smile as she took it from him. "Thanks. I'll see ya later."

She tried to shut the door but Amaro interrupted her again. "Hey, um, I noticed you were a little down yesterday. You wanna talk?."

"I'm a little busy."

Although he was out of sight Olivia still felt the presence of the gun. She tried to close the door again but Amaro stopped it, looking her over. "You alright?" he asked searching over her face.

Olivia swallowed hard and nodded. "I'm fine."

Amaro's face fell as he shook his head, searching over her expressions. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong...

"What did Cassidy do to you?" Amaro demanded, knowing without a shadow of a doubt he was the one to blame.

"Nothing," she protested, tears filling her eyes at that name. "I'm fine, Nick."

"The hell you are," he challenged just as bitterly as he always got when speaking about Cassidy. "Let me in and we can talk."

"I don't want to talk," she answered harshly, her heart pounding hard against her chest. "Just go away now."

"I'm not leaving here until you tell me what the hell's going on. Whatever it is I know that you have feelings for him but this punk isn't right for you!"

Olivia bit her trembling lip as Amaro stood his ground outside her apartment. There was two possible scenarios to how this could end.

One was Olivia made some kind of clue or hint about what was going on in an attempt to save herself, Lewis would recognize it, shoot her, and torture Nick in her place. The other was she hurt her partner in the worst way she knew how in order to save him and take the abuse herself.

Under any and every circumstance, she would always choose the latter.

Olivia mustered the fiercest glare she could manage under the circumstances. "Really?" she barked, already hating herself for the words she was about to throw at him. "The man with the bastard son and broken marriage is gonna lecture me on relationships?"

If Olivia hadn't experienced true fear for the last ten hours, the look Amaro threw at her would have frightened her beyond words. He jabbed a finger in his face, his body trembling in rage. "Don't you EVER!" he snarled, his brown eyes flashing with fire. "Talk about my son like that again, you understand me?"

"What else am I supposed to call the son of a whore who's father abandoned them?"

Amaro took a step closer to her, his hands balled in tight fists that he was aching to throw. He had never fought so hard against hitting a woman in his entire life. "Go to hell," he spat before he turned tail and stormed away from the door.

Olivia shut the door and leaned her head against the wood as tears over what she just said to him made their way down her face. "I'm sorry," she whispered softly.

Lewis chuckled as he walked back over to her and put the gun to her head. "Very nice. Now..." He took her by the arms and shoved her back towards the kitchen. "Where were we?

1 Week Earlier

"You sure you can do this?" asked Amaro as he and Olivia approached the interrogation room.

Olivia made no efforts to hide her exasperation. "For the hundredth time yes," she grumbled, her voice on edge. She almost felt a bit of sympathy for the perp who would be on the receiving end of her bad mood.

Almost.

Not waiting for Amaro Olivia opened the door to the interrogation room where Lewis William was seated patiently.
When Olivia walked in he turned his gaze from the table towards her and he smiled brightly at her. "Hi," Lewis offered, his voice full of charismatic charm.

Olivia knew right away what Rollins had been talking about and the way Amaro tensed behind her she was sure he felt it too.

He seemed confident, cocky, intelligent, charming... Very good looking as well. But there was just something about him that made a shudder run down her back.

"I'm Detective Benson, this is my partner Detective Amaro," Olivia introduced as she took a seat across from him with Amaro at her side. "You wanna tell us about what happened today?"

Lewis laughed gleefully at her attitude. "You don't like to waste time do you?"

"It was my day off," Olivia informed him shortly. "I don't wanna be here anymore then you do."

A look of sympathy overtook his features that both Detectives could see straight through. "Oh wow, did they really call you in for just a misunderstanding? I'm sorry, Ma'am, I didn't know they'd do that."

"It's Detective actually," Olivia corrected him just as short as before.

"I'm sorry, I'm just used to calling women 'Ma'am'," he offered as his brow wrinkled in confusion. "I didn't realize it was such a big deal."

Olivia and Lewis stared down one another before Olivia got up from her chair and began to walk around the room trying to clear her mind. He may have given her a bad feeling but she shouldn't have been short with him just because she was in a bad mood. After a beat Olivia continued. "So did you know the women who made the accusations against you?"

"No," he said with a shrug. "I've never seen them before."

"Apart from when you flashed them," she corrected, her situation with Brian once again going to the forefront of her mind.

"I already told you, Detective, that was a misunderstanding. Is there a reason why you're acting like this towards me?"

"Did you know the woman?" Olivia continued as if he hadn't of spoken. "The witness who said you verbally harassed and flashed two innocent teenage girls?"

Lewis chuckled gently. "That old lady got some kind of problem with me. I don't even know what I did, maybe I ran through one of her photos."

The rest of the interrogation was more of the same. Him playing the victim card and having a logical explanation for every question, Olivia getting more and more tense with him until he finally mentioned the 'A' word and they were forced to stop the questioning.

As they spoke about the case with Cragen and a very colorfully dressed Barba, Olivia couldn't seem to get rid of the chill that she had when he was in there with her. Rollins hadn't just been right to be creeped out by this guy, she had hit the nail on the head regarding him.

When Barba left to go file the necessary papers for court, Cragen had a Uni get him and get him processed.

As Lewis passed by Olivia outside the room again he gave her another smile that she couldn't turn away from, both of their eyes locking on one another as the uni took him away. She swallowed the fear that was beginning to over take her every time she laid eyes on him.

He was dangerous, and whats worse was that he made sure everyone else new it as well...

"Liv!"

Olivia jumped about a foot in the air, whipping towards the person who had called her name. "What?" she asked Amaro, unable to keep the fear from her voice.

"Didn't you just hear? Cragen said take the rest of the day. There's nothing more we can do."

Olivia let out a breath of relief. She didn't even wanna be in the same building as this guy for a second longer.

"You wanna go and get something to drink?" Amaro continued, noting how unusually shaky she was regarding this case.

"At three thirty on a Sunday afternoon?"

Amaro shrugged, a hint of a crooked smile on his face. "It's five a clock somewhere."

Olivia manged a meager chuckle and shook her head. "No it's fine. I'm just gonna go home and enjoy the rest of my Sunday which you should also do. How long is Maria letting Zara stay with you?" asked Olivia as she and Amaro walked towards the Bull Pen.

"One month."

"Is she excited about getting to know her brother?" asked Olivia with a smile. She met both Zara and Gil and she adored both of them. Gil, the spitting image of his father, was Nick to a T and Zara was the cutest little girl she had ever met. She absolutely loved them.

Amaro, like always, beamed with pride whenever his children were mentioned. "Yeah and he's doesn't mind he's got a little sister either."

Olivia smiled as they reached their respectable desks. Olivia locked her gun in her desk drawer, as she had been doing the last few weeks thanks to a case where a rapist broke in and used the victims own gun against her.

If, and Olivia highly doubted it would ever happen to her as she was extra vigilant with making sure her windows and doors were locked at night and when she left for work, someone were to ever break in, he may hurt her but she'd be damned if he threatened or shot with her own weapon.

Just as Olivia shoved the phone into her pocket, Amaro chuckled softly. Olivia looked up and her partner nodded towards Cragen's office. "You ever see him that nervous while talking to a witness?"

"I don't think I've ever seen him that nervous period," answered Olivia with a smirk as she watched Cragen fidget nervously while talking to their witness, Alice Parker who looked just as nervous but both had a small smile on their faces. "I think he's got a little crush."

"A little?" Amaro scoffed as he watched Cragen help her into her coat, "the guy looks like he's about to ask her to marry him."

"Well if there's hope for Munch, there's hope for all of us.

Olivia double and tripled checked her desk drawer where her gun was locked and hidden underneath several boring looking files, bid Amaro goodbye and to tell Cragen 'good luck' before she left the precinct.

When she finally returned home it was exactly how she left it, complete with dirty wine glasses. Olivia flopped down on the couch as she had done earlier but instead of getting out her guide of things to do in Manhattan as she had earlier she instead pulled out her phone and dialed a familiar number and waited anxiously for him to pick up.

Brian finally did after three rings, answering with a soft, "hey, Liv."

Just his voice alone was able to make Olivia relax far more then she had been able to do after being locked in that room with Lewis. "Hey," she breathed, relieved he had picked up at all. "I just got out of work. Cragen gave us the rest of the day off. I mean I don't know if you wanna come over and talk or..."

"I get off work in about two hours. Want me to grab anything to eat?"

"Well I got the Mets Game recorded so pizza and wings?"

"Sure. I'll be over in a little bit. Bye, Liv."

"See ya."

Olivia hung up the phone, breathing a sigh of relief as she threw it on the stand before her. She had gotten him to talk to her at least...

Scolding herself for not keeping up with the housekeeping as much as she should have this past week Olivia spent the better part of an hour cleaning up and washing dishes. Afterwards she took a shower and then changed from the clothes she had been lounging in all day to a pair of cute jeans and a fitted white Mets T-shirt with the team logo scrawled across her chest and finished by putting her hair up into a pony tail

She touched up her makeup and squirted just a hint of the perfume Brian had given her on her behind her ear.

After she finished she glanced at herself in the mirror and smiled. Brian loved her when she was dressed like this, casual but still sexy. He's told her on more then one occasion he'd rather see her in a pair of thirty dollar jeans and a ten dollar T-shirt any day then a two hundred dollar dress.

She took a seat on the couch and waited for him to come to her door, fiddling her fingers nervously. Not long after she had sat down there was a knock on her door. Olivia swallowed hard as she stood up and made her way towards the door, glancing through the peephole to make sure it was him before she opened the door to Cassidy carrying a large extra cheese pepperoni, bacon and chicken pizza with a large container of Buffalo Wings.

"Hi," she greeted with an awkward smile.

"Hey," he answered just as awkward. "You look great."

"Thanks."

The two stood on her doorstop for a little bit before Olivia cleared her throat and moved out of the way. "You wanna come in?"

Brian shrugged as he walked in as Olivia shut the door behind him. A tense silence grew in the apartment as they stood there, neither quite sure what to say to the other.

After a minute Brian cleared his throat. "I'm gonna put this down on the coffee table, that okay?"

"Sure," said Olivia with a nod. "You want a beer?"

Another shrug was his answer. "It depends."

"Depends on what?"

"Depends on if I'm driving home tonight or not. Up to you."

Olivia bit her lip as she made her way to the fridge and opened the door. She hesitated for a moment before she grabbed two bottles of Blue Moon along with two plates from the cupboard and walked over to the couch and handed one to him. Brian looked from the bottle to her and gave her a soft smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Olivia sat on the couch beside him and watched as he reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of smokes and a lighter. He quickly lit one and took a long slow drag off it, visibly relaxing as the nicotine filled his lungs.

After several moments of silence Olivia cleared her throat. "Brian, look, I wanted-."

"You say you're sorry and I walk out that door," he told her before taking another drag off of his cigarette.

Olivia narrowed her eyes in confusion as he blew the smoke out before turning towards her. "It was wrong of me to get upset over you not feeling the same way as me."

"Brian that's not it," she protested softly. "I do care about you a lot. It's just those words make this so... permanent."

"I didn't realize permanency was a bad thing in a relationship."

"It is when the only two serious ones you've ever had ended miserably with your heart broken."

Brian sighed as he ran a hand over his forehead, taking another drag. "Liv, I've been in love before too and I'd have preferred it if Clarissa had walked out on me and broke my heart." He expelled the smoke from his lungs. "But I trust you enough to tell you I love you because I know you won't break my heart. Why aren't you giving me the same benefit of the doubt?"

Olivia opened her mouth several times to try to come up with an answer that wasn't going to hurt him. The truth was she was scared that he would leave her like the rest of her boyfriends did. Yes he promised to be with her forever but David Haden had promised that as well and it had left her hurt and alone until Brian came back into her life.

When several moments of silence had passed, he sighed and nodded. "It's fine. You don't gotta answer that. You're not ready to say it, it happens. I'm not gonna force you into something that makes you uncomfortable."

"Thank you," she breathed with a sigh of relief and a smile. "That means a lot to me, Brian."

Brian gave her a soft smile before he putting out his burned out smoke in the ashtray Olivia had bought specifically for him. "So are we gonna watch the game? Heard from some of the guys it's pretty intense."

"Cragen and Fin told me up until the sixth inning it's a perfect game."

"Nice!" Cassidy said happily clapping his hands together before he opened up the box of wings. He grabbed a few out and put them on a plate along with two slices of pizza. "Eat," he told her before beginning to make his own plate. "You're staring to look like one of those uptown girls. Plus what will the guys say if they see me walking around town with a girl with no ass?"

Olivia smirked at him as she turned on the TV and selected the Mets game on her DVR list.

Soon after it turned into one of their ordinary date nights. Olivia would root against the opposing team just to irk him, Brian pretended to spot chicken wing sauce on her neck that could on;y be cleaned off with his lips, and things just seemed to fall into place, the argument from this morning apparently forgotten.

"So Cragen gave you the night off, huh?" asked Brian as he took another chicken wing during a commercial. "When the hell did he turn into such a softie?"

"He's getting softer with old age. I remember once when I first started working there Elliot and me had Mets tickets and the game started at three. We asked if we could leave at twelve and he said fine but we had to stay over five hours the next day."

"Volunteer for extra duty my ass," Brian laughed. "I knew that line you and Elliot fed us was bull."

Olivia smiled at the laugh in his words. "Well to be fair the one time he did let us off early two of his lead Detectives got drunk and slept with one another for five hours straight one night."

"One of my better memories of working there," he said with a saucy grin that made Olivia blush. Brian chuckled unhappily afterwards. "Too bad that story has the same as this one."

Olivia narrowed her eyes in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"I was ready for a serious relationship, you weren't."

Olivia pulled away from him on the couch, giving him a slight glare. "That's not what's happening here."

Brian shrugged as he took a drink of his beer. "Funny it seems that way to me."

Olivia's glare intensified. "Well it's not. I care just as much about you as you do me."

"Then why can't you say you love me?"

"I told you why."

"No you gave me some bullshit excuse and I let you get out of the answer."

Olivia grabbed the bottle of beer from him and slammed it down on the coffee table. "You need to leave."

As she started to get up from the couch Brian followed her. "You need to tell me why you're afraid to say you love me," he demanded, his voice rising.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I'm scared, Brian!" she yelled turning to face him. "I'm scared of being hurt again, I'm scared that I'm gonna admit how I feel only to have you leave me, I'm scared of having my heart ripped from my chest again and stomped on!"

Brian's face fell as Olivia's words sank in.

He had never known her to be anything but strong regarding anything which is what he loved about her. That night when they slept together he had still been under the illusion that sex actually meant something to people, a notion he had long ago abandoned when he began working undercover for Ganzel, so for Olivia to toss him away when he wanted to build a relationship off of their night together had hurt him more than any woman ever had.

He knew that she wasn't one to merely have sex for the hell of it so he figured she had feelings for him but was strong enough to get over it.

Brian swallowed hard as he looked down at Olivia. "I'm sorry but Liv I-"

"Promise not to hurt me," she finished for him with a bit of mist in her eyes. "They all say that and no one has ever meant it before and I'm tired of being hurt by broken promises." Olivia took a deep breath before she took Brian's hand in her own. "I do have strong feelings for you, Bri," she told him, looking dead in his eyes so she knew the truth. "I honest to God do. I just... I can't say that to you right now. One day in the future maybe but I can't right now. Its not your problem it's my own issue and I'm sorry but I can't and if you think that this is just me having fun and not caring about you then you couldn't be more wrong."

"Olivia-."

"Please just leave," she whispered softly.

Brian bit his lip but instead of arguing he merely leaned forward and kissed her cheek, thanking a God he didn't believe in when she didn't pull away.

He turned and left the apartment, wanting nothing more then to turn back around to face her, and shut the door behind him.