Okay, I know this isn't my usual topic of writing, and I promise I'll return to TMNT the second after this, but my friend deserves a Christmas present as unique and hilarious as she is. I tried making an origami Pikachu, but I got befuddled on step 18 (the instructions were in Japanese :/ ). So I decided to write up this. Merry Christmas, Beth. I hope you like your present (I know it's no Christmas tree full of peppermints…)
Pikachu was totally and utterly confused. When Ash had ferried him, Froakie, and Fletchling back to Pallet Town, he had assumed it was just to leave his Unova friends at home, like he always did. But no, Ash had dragged him home to, of all things, hang candy on a tree. Sure, he did drop off his Unova Pokémon with Professor Oak, but the main event seemed to be hanging little striped hooks on a tree. Froakie seemed as puzzled as he was, although his stubborn croaks refused to admit it. Fletching was persistently attempting to steal one of the red-and-white candies. That's to be expected; once a food thief, always a food thief. Ash's mother left, muttering something about lights and bulbs. Ash followed, but not before handing me one of the candied hooks.
"Here Pikachu!" He said, "Have a candy cane!" Then he left, leaving me to wonder about the stripy food.
As usual, Fletching watched me hungrily and attempted many times to steal the 'candy cane'. I dodged his thievery, however innocent and playful, and shouted, "No! It's mine! Get your own!" Of course, me being me, it came out more like "Pika! Pika pi! Pikachu!" Fletchling seemingly understood and walked over to the tree on his skinny bird legs, fluttered his little wings, and snatched a candy right off the tree. He returned smugly and pecked at his prize.
I eyed the cane suspiciously. "How in Hoenn am I supposed to eat this?" I thought, "Oh well. As they say, when in Kanto, do what the Kanto-jin do. I think they say that." I gnawed on the hooked part, disliking the way it stabbed the side of my mouth. I looked it over again and tried biting off the straight part. My teeth smacked against hard candy, which tasted a lot like saran wrap. I tentatively licked the 'candy cane'. It tasted so much like plastic that I considered barfing. "What this needs is some ketchup." I thought, wondering if the sweet taste of ketchup would be enough to mask the taste of this abomination. Human food is usually so much better.
Ash's mother returned carrying a large box of various colored orbs that I assumed was another candy to hang on the tree. They were shiny with silver hooks stuck on the top, I assumed so that they would stay on the tree. She set down the box and caught sight of me sucking reluctantly in the straight end of the disgusting candy. Her face lit up and she exclaimed, "Aww! Pikachu's eating a candy cane!"
She watched me for a moment, hands clasped, before randomly snatching the candy from my mouth. "Hey!" I shouted, of course it came out, "Pika!" I was becoming accustomed to the artificiality of the taste. It must just me an acquired taste.
"Pikachu, you silly thing! You're supposed to take the plastic off BEFORE you eat it!" she declared, pulling off a clear layer and shoving it back in my mouth, "Here you go! I bet it tastes much better now!" I barely had time to ponder why she was so bubbly and excited before a strong minty taste hit my tongue.
"Okay. It's definitely an improvement." I thought, comparing into to the plastic taste I had once thought it had. Froakie looked at me as if he had known it the whole time but was too cool to tell me. "You would've done it too." I thought. Suddenly, Delia took the candy cane.
She helped Fletching peel the plastic off his stolen candy, holding mine in her hand. The once red-and-white tip was pure white and pointy. Her hands had little red smudges on them where the color must've come off. She crooned about him being 'cute as a button'.
"He's cute, I'm cute, we're all cute, now can I please have my candy back?" I said, my words jumbling into the same three syllables they always did.
"Oh! Sorry, Pikachu." She declared, returning my candy to me. Then she proceeded to hang the shiny round candies on the tree and yell at Ash to hurry up with the 'lights and garland'.
I had reached the hook of my 'candy cane' before Ash returned. He was wrapped in strands of what I assumed was light bulb-shaped sweets of some sort and a long sparkling strand of glittery toffee, or something. How many different kinds of candy did they put on there? Ash's mother scolded him for taking too long and made him start hanging the light-bulb bonbons on the tree while she handled the sparkly sweets. I watched as the tree morphed from a plant into a sugary cone-shaped mass on a trunk. Ash's mother took a step back, instructed him to put the 'star on top', and rushed off to do something else holiday-candy related. Ash placed a gold five-pointed star on top and ran off.
The second he did, Fletching dropped the remainder of his candy onto the floor, where I was sure it would get stuck, and flew to the top of the tree. He pecked and chewed at the gold star on top. Froakie regarded him like he was crazy and busied himself with adding frubbles to the tree in an effort to make it 'prettier and less candy-ish'. I left them to do whatever it is they were doing and just laid down under the tree, staring at the pretty light-candies through the branches, ignoring the occasional frubble blast. My eyes caught on one of the shiny round candies hanging on the tree.
"It can't hurt to try one." I thought. I plucked it off the branch and scraped the frubbles off it. I inspected the small red ball closely for a disgusting plastic layer. When I couldn't find one, I decided to try it. I dangled it by the hook and put the whole thing in my mouth. I quickly spit it out onto the floor and cleaned my tongue with my hands. "That is NOT candy." I thought grumpily. I hung it back on the tree and pretended I'd never put it in my mouth and that it wasn't dripping.
A string of glowing light-bulb shaped sweets fell off the tree and brushed my foot. I glared at it suspiciously, remembering how that ball had tasted. Fletchling skittered down and picked up the strand. He chattered happily as he restrung it, chirping about how 'tasty' and 'sparkly' they were. He pecked at the little bulbs until I bribed Froakie to hit him with some frubbles, which didn't take too much convincing. When he fluttered into another room, carrying the star with him, I didn't hesitate before tasting the candy bulb. Again, not candy.
I stumbled backwards and tripped on a low hanging strip of not-candies. I fell and got tangled in a big shiny wad of lights. All the frubbles on the lights splattered everywhere: the walls, the floor, the Pokémon. Froakie yelled at me for messing up his frubbles, but I didn't listen. His frubbles were ugly, anyway. I stumbled upon a strand of sparkly gold stuff and knew much better than to taste it. So instead (just my luck), I tripped, fell, and got tangled in IT, too. I ripped the twine off the tree, along with some branches and most of the frubbles. Froakie shrieked and quickly tried to replace the frubbles on the tree, leaving me spinning like a top, tangled in not-candy tree décor.
"Pika…" I muttered dizzily, not even knowing what I meant by it.
Froakie snapped at me and frubbled me to a wall. I angrily electrocuted him. Seriously! Wouldn't YOU electrocute someone if they stuck you to a wall with bubbles? Of course, when I use Thunderbolt, I tend to shout, usually my all-purpose "Pika!" This time was no different. Ash and his mother raced into the room, taking in the scene. I knew what they were seeing. Fletching, buzzing around the room with the star in his beak, deftly dodging frubbles. Froakie, shooting frubbles at the tree and keeping a close eye on little ol' me. And little ol' me, tied up in lights and tinsel, stuck to a wall by, sadly, frog bubbles.
Of all the things to go through my head, this question does. "Will they notice the orb I put in my mouth?" I answered my own question. Of course they won't; they're too busy noticing the star dangling from a bird's beak and the frog bubbles strewn around the room.
"Fletchling! Put the star back on the tree this instant!" Mrs. Ketchum shouted. Fletching made Mrs. Ketchum angry. Arceus help us all.
"Froakie!" Ash exclaimed, slightly less angry then his mother, "What are you doing?! Get Pikachu down! And untangle him!" Froakie reluctantly released me from my frubbly grip and let me drop on the floor. He began picking the lights off me, making sure to get them as tight as he could around me before he let me go. He muttered something about me 'deserving it' as he untangled the garland.
"Fletchling, Froakie, come here." Ash stated in calm anger. They trudged before him. Fletchling hung his head, acknowledging his punishment. Froakie stared Ash straight in the eye, practically begging to be locked in his Poké ball for all eternity. "You two are going to clean this up. All of it." Ash declared, "Understand?" Fletchling nodded and started stringing lights back on the tree. Froakie snorted and crossed his arms defiantly, but he began to clear up some of his frubbles. I looked over the mess. The entire room was tinted with the off-white of frubbles. The lights and garland was a heap on the ground. Many of the shiny orbs lay on the ground, broken or missing hooks, and the candy canes shattered beyond the point of hanging. I stole a large fragment of one before scampering off, earning a dirt look from Froakie.
"At least you were being good, Pikachu." Ash said, walking into the other room, "You deserve a reward."
I perked up. Rewards are good. Rewards are always good. Ash smiled at my happy expression. He looked around for a suitable prize and settled on a red-clothed basket. "Do you want some candy?" he asked.
I glanced at the living room and thought about where 'candy' had gotten me.
No thanks, I'm good.
I don't care Pikachu, Froakie, Fletchling, Ash, and Delia might've been a bit out of character. I don't care if Pikachu already knows all about Christmas trees and ornaments. I don't care if Fletching wouldn't steal tree toppers or candy canes. It is cute and you will like it! Or else...Anyway, Merry Christmas, Bethany! Or as you 'Frenchies' say, 'Joyoux Noel!"…Did I get that right? :)