Chapter 5

"Here's some water," I grabbed the bottle from Kenny's hands and chugged it.

I had just gotten a very long, screaming lecture from my little sister and my head was feeling it all. Still a little drunk, I looked up at Kenny, "How have you been?" I smiled to myself.

He sighed and sat down next to me, "Remember when you puked on my shoes?"

"We were sixteen, get over it." I almost yell at him. He gets quiet. "Where's Tweek?"

"Talking to the nurse that was on duty," He looks at me with those big blue eyes that make him seem younger than he really is. "How are you?"

I don't respond.

I was left with my ex-friend to sober up. The minute we arrived both my mom and sister knew I wasn't in the right mind to do or say much. My eyes were still puffy from crying, and I'm pretty sure Tweek was more worried about me for all I could feel were his nails digging into my back as he tried holding me up. I really felt as if I was sixteen again, throwing up on Kenny's shoes after a night of partying too recklessly.

Except I no longer had a father waiting at my door yelling at me once I made it home.

I didn't have a dad. Not really, not there. Now he was an intangible being that I must reach out to only by thought. Oh, how I would love for him to yell at me right now. Ask me why I hadn't been home. Tell me to reconnect with those I had lost touch with.

Tweek approached Kenny and I and immediately grabbed my hand and sat down next to me, "Feeling better?" He had his business smile on.

I pulled away, and turned to Kenny, "Make him stop."

"Stop what?" Tweek sounded offended.

Kenny knew. He was a part of our misadventures of youth. Sneaking around with Tweek, Clyde, Token, and I. He knew exactly what I wanted from Tweek. It was what we all wanted from him: Honesty.

"Stop smiling like that," Kenny said, "It creeps me out."

"I thought you see hell all the time, and my smile scares you?"

"Yeah."

Again, silence. So unfamiliar among us.

"Craig," My sister interrupts our not-conversation, "Do you want to see him?" I stand up and follow her to my dad's room.

There is no annoying noise. I can't hear it at all. I want to hear that noise. Instead it's this buzzing sound. I watch my mother cry over him. She's always been a silent crier. Tears fall naturally off of her face. My sister and I watch on and I reach out to my dad's hand. It has become cold. My sister is the first to step out of the room. And not long after I leave my mom alone to mourn for my father. I walk outside the room to my sister crying into her arm, trying to muffle the sound.

This is now.

Somehow, being drunk and young doesn't seem too bad.

The next few days were full of hectic family members, paperwork, and tears. I had reconnected with McKormick for he and his sister were helping take care of the kids while we dealt with funeral arrangements.

We had to almost the entire town at his funeral. He was a popular man, my father was. It was weird sitting in the front row, watching the pastor go on about god knows what. I gripped onto Tweek's hand as he sat next to me during the service. His eyes were focused on what was in front of him. But his hand trembled in mine. And somehow that comforted me. And once the ceremony was done I grabbed ahold of my mother's hand in favor of my new/old boyfriend's. And those closest to us went to my house. And there was a family party, because that was how my dad's family was.

I snuck off after saying my greetings to those who showed up. The downstairs was packed with people I wasn't too fond of, but my mom was. I walked upstairs to my old room and opened it, cautious of what to find behind closed doors.

But those meaningless worries were set free when I saw Tweek sitting on my bed, just as he had been a number of times before. Just as he had during a fairly shitty Christmas, a New Year's, after parties, after he ran away. And right before I left. He sat on my bed, giving me the most hopeful look a young man could give. His wide eyes looked up at me as I walked to him.

Standing above him, I placed my hand against his cheek. Tracing my fingertips along the contours of his face. Feeling the outline of stubble against his chin I smiled down. But a tear hit his cheek, and it wasn't his. It was mine. I was crying. Succumbed to his comfort I dropped to my knees and continued to cry. And he held me as I did so. He waited until I stopped.

And when I finally did stop he was the first to speak. "I missed you," He said.

"I love you," I responded. And it was something that didn't need to be said. I had always been the one to overuse the sentence, especially with him. But now seemed so right to say it, for he had been with me throughout this entire journey of self-discovery. And I did love him for it. I loved him for listening, and standing by me. I loved him for helping me, for being the nurse that helped my father. I loved fate for bringing us back together.

"Craig," My face was cupped in his hands, "I love you more." And he smiled so bright, so sincere. It wasn't that forced smile he had practiced in the mirror, but his lovely crooked grin where his buck teeth clung to his bottom lip. And he was beautiful. And he brought me down with him, all my walls and my defenses.

It welcomed me home.

Sometime in the night Tweek took all of the covers from me. I woke up in the early morning shivering and naked. I unraveled the sheets from the cocoon Tweek had made of himself and pulled them over me. I fixed my arm under Tweek, pulling him closer.

"So, I've looked at schools," I jumped at the voice coming from under my arm.

I looked down at Tweek, "I didn't know you were awake."

"I've always been a light sleeper," He smiled up at me, eyes still closed. "So, schools," He continued, "I saw one I liked and was affordable. Only if you could room me."

"What?" I sat up.

He stretched out on the bed, "It's only if you say yes."

And I did.

And we laid under the sheets until the sun came up. It felt as if we were starting something new. It was an adventure. We discussed stupid ideas and situations that may or may not arise from living together. And we discussed our schedules. It was so exciting and not what I was used to at all. But I loved it.

Hours of talking made us both silent, watching the sunrise through the window. "You don't hate me?" Tweek suddenly asked.

"What for?" I pulled him closer to me, to feel his warmth.

His hand reached for mine, "Your dad was under my care."

"He had bad habits. It wasn't unexpected."

"But—"

"Look at it this way. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be right here. You wouldn't be where you are. It's like fate. We just let the road take us here." I explained to him.

Tweek became silent after that. When I thought he had fallen asleep again he spoke up, "Do you believe in heaven?"

"Are you asking me if I'm religious?" I asked in disbelief.

"No, do you believe in heaven?" He asked again. I didn't respond. "I believe in heaven." He said.

With my arms wrapped around him I finally spoke up, "This is as close to heaven as I'm ever gonna get."

J'ai fini. Unless somebody wants a proper ending. Idk I'm kinda not in the right mind. Kind of sad, haven't edited, kinda drunk. I'm not too sure of anything right now.Anyways THANK YOU FOR READING. And remember you are an amazing, beautiful, human being. And if you aren't human than whatever. You're still great.