One day it would happen...

I hadn't seen him coming. I had been too numb. But it was Jacob who had found me deep in the woods. Maybe I had been too close to the treaty-line. Or maybe he was just curious. I could only hope he wouldn't say anything to anyone.

Curled up in a ball in a cave, rocking back and forth in the dark corner. Crying my heart out without knowing it. "Edward", he had called. I didn't hear it, or didn't realize hearing it until I had felt his too hot hand on my shoulder. Still I hadn't done anything. I had stayed in my somewhat comforting position.

I think he had said something, but it had all been just mumbling to me and nothing that I could figure out to be important.

But now I was back home. Esme, Carlisle, everyone hovering around me. Only Renesmee wasn't in here. She went out with Jacob to play. It was for the better.

And the rest were trying to get something out of me. Carlisle thinking that maybe he should try to learn psychology and be my own psychologist, because it couldn't be anyone who would be human. "I'm fine", I said in a strained voice. I guess they didn't hear it even with their supernaturally good instincts. Or maybe I didn't say it at all. Can't I lie anymore? That would be bad. Terrible.

"It seems to us, Edward that you don't care what is happening. This all is tearing us all into pieces too, not only you. If you would just let somebody help you with your grief, then maybe we could all move on", Rosalie finally said what was rolling around in her blonde head.

"Let me go then, so I won't invade and violate your peace. I really don't want to bother you with my own problems", I replied matter-of-factly. "Yeah, so go then. We're not stopping you", Rosalie almost yelled angrily. It felt good for some reason. Someone finally punishing me for my mistakes. But it wouldn't be enough.

"Rosalie! That's no way to speak to your brother. He's in a very vulnerable stage and he doesn't deserve that. He needs his family now", Esme said with her motherly way. "Rosalie's right though. And I'm fine on my own anyway. I will be gone disturbing you now then", I told them all and stood up. My legs were shaky for some strange reason, but I didn't care. I stood with my will-power.

I started moving to the backdoor, but Carlisle stopped me taking my hand. "Please Edward. Don't leave us. We care for you and don't want you to be alone and feel so depressed. You could be happy. Happy with us", he said with a sorrowful impression on his face. I realized that he was actually begging me; in his thoughts and his words heavy with emotion.

I think I would have cried if I could, because I knew I would never be happy again. And I would never see them again. I already missed them deeply. I made myself strong so I could do what was best for them. "I'm sorry", I whispered. I silently squeezed hand for a moment and then turned around and walked out of the door. I could see their faces in their minds. They didn't know what was going to happen, as didn't I either. But we all had a feeling.

When no one could see me, I let myself collapse on the green ground and whimpered quietly. I closed my eyes, pain in my heart. But I stood up and barely made it back to the house and to the couch. I layed on it. There was fire in the fireplace and it warmed the house gently. I looked at the heart of the fire. Soon. Soon I would die as the fire. Fire that was ever so slightly starting to freeze out.

I had already made a letter for everyone I love. Left the most important things for them to hear and hear again when I wasn't around anymore to get to say them myself for them.

Dear Renesmee, you were the last piece to me. You fulfilled me. And so I'm whole and done. You're everything to me. And with everything, I can finally leave. I know you will be fine. Jacob and the Cullens will take care of you and love you. And I, and Bella will always be there for you even when you can't see us. We will be there like we've always been. Loving you and giving everything we could possibly give to you. And I would have wanted to give you so much more, but I'm afraid this is all, but I hope it's enough.

With every bit of me I tell you that I love you and I'm so very sorry I had to leave this soon. I didn't want this, but it was unavoidable. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me sometime. And trust me, I won't forget you. Never. It would be impossible.

And stay forever you, don't change for anyone, because you're best when you're yourself. No one else can be you. And it's you who I true to yourself. Please, I'm sorry.

With great love

Edward

And so I let myself close my tired eyes with a sudden peaceness in my heart, because now they would know that I'll always love them even when I not here. And I knew that finally so would my soul find peace too when it would be intertwined with Bella's.

And so I said my farewells to the world and slept silently away.