Chapter VI: The Escape
CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!
"You can keep that up forever, but we don't think it is going to work..."
"Oh, shut up, you!" snapped Ace, banging her baseball bat against the bars, trying to loosen their supports.
As she reached back for another swing...someone, or something, grabbed onto her bat, stopping her.
She turned fast...
"Professor!"
"I don't think those bars are pitcher shots, Ace," smirked the Doctor, releasing the bat.
The girl sighed, and sheathed her bat.
"Yeah, well...I thought it might be worth a try..."
The Doctor chuckled and sat down on the cell bench, once crossing his legs, both hands on his umbrella's question mark handle.
"What happened, Professor? Where'd they take you?"
"Away," was the vague reply.
"Well, obviously, but-"
A soft clatter from the doors down the dungeon passage caught their attention. Even the Queen—who, at this point, was repeating the word "off" in a broken-sounding monotone to herself—jumped up and looked out of her cell, and the Knave, still slumped on his bunch, lifted his head slightly.
A pair of grim, shriveled shadows preceded the entrance of the Duchess and her Cook; in the dim, dreary light, they appeared even more twisted hideous than usual, their eyes like glittering black blades sunken in their ugly faces, the Cook's dirty teeth and the Duchess' warped face and gaunt, yet steely hands accentuated in the shadows.
"Well, well," the Doctor murmered. "We have company."
"What do you two want?" Ace growled.
The Duchess leered, coming closer to the cell.
"What an exquisite morsel she'll make," she said, looking at Ace, but speaking to her Cook. "Are you sure the footman gave us the right keys?"
"We'll soon find out, ma'am," the Cook replied, fumbling with a ring of keys. "On that note, when was the last time we had fish of any kind?"
"Three weeks ago...or was it four?"
"Doesn't matter," the Cook shrugged.
"Off with their heads!" the Queen croaked, her throat quite sore.
"That's the general idea," the Duchess responded, still looking at the disgusted Ace. "Maybe a nice pot roast afterward will be in order..."
"Yes, you two definitely remind me of someone," the Doctor piped up, "Now, if I could just remember the name...Stunball? No, not quite...maybe Scarestare?"
"After we're through with this one," the Cook grumbled, "What say we take a bite out of Time? Just one bite…"
The Duchess nodded, rubbing her hands together.
"Mmm...ah, the Fromagian Grig shall feast well tonight!"
"Be careful what you wish for," Ace warned. "You two just might get it."
"Why, my little chick, that's just what we want!"
"Let me try this one," the Cook said, and came up with one key ready...
Ace suddenly leaned out and bit his thumb.
The Cook roared like a mad bear, and lashed out, smacking Ace across the cheek; the blow was stunning, like a hit from a hammer. Ace grunted and hit the ground. The Doctor leaned down to check on her.
"Ace! You all right?"
"Urgh..." Ace groaned, rubbing her jaw, standing up slowly, stumbling, still reeling. "Everything spinning...did you get the number on that car, Professor?"
The Doctor rolled his eyes.
"Little whelp of a beast," snarled the Cook. "I'll tear her apart!"
"Oh, not now, Grimwag!'' the Duchess snapped. "Focus on getting her home to the kitchen first."
"Yeah, yeah...hold on...maybe this key...?"
Suddenly, both let out a sharp yelp, and crumpled to the floor...
Revealing the Cheshire Cat, in his humanoid form, and the White Rabbit, standing behind the Cat's leg, smiling timidly
"I d-delivered your message, Time," the Rabbit peeped.
"Excellent work, Sir Black!" laughed the Doctor. "See, Ace? What did I tell you?"
"Now you're a face I never thought I'd be glad to see," Ace admitted to Cheshire.
Cheshire chuckled, shaking his head amusedly.
"Tut-tut-tut...Doctor, I leave your side for a couple of hours, and already you're locked up as the enemy of the world. Some things never change, do they?"
"Never mind that! We're in quite a bit of a dilemna, old friend!"
"C'mon, get us out of here, Chesh!" cried Ace.
Cheshire smirked.
"I'm afraid I can't, Ms. Ace...or, rather, I won't."
"Well, a fat lot of good you are, then..."
"My dear girl, you forgot the magic word!"
Ace blinked, and glanced at the Doctor, who smiled thinly and gestured to her as if to say, "go on."
Ace sighed, and looked up at the Cheshire Cat.
"...Please?"
"...Actually, the word I was looking for was 'pickle'...but close enough; they both start with 'p,' and any rate."
"Now...now, hold on one moment!" the White Rabbit broke in. "It is written under Section 45.6 of the Founding Charter of the House of Kardamyne that anyone seen assisting prisoners in escaping will be swiftly executed by means of decapitation, no ifs ands or buts: off with their head, and I for one refuse to aid and abet these criminals, even if-"
"Ahem!"
The Rabbit turned, and his eyes widened at the sight of the King, who jabbed a thumb in the direction of the Queen's cell. The Rabbit gulped as the Queen eyed him with wide, vacant eyes, and giggled softly.
"Bunny," the Queen whispered.
The Rabbit turned back again, to find three identical, toothy smiles facing him...one more frightening than the rest.
"...Um...on second thought, l-let me know if I may be of assistance."
"Good boy," nodded Cheshire, and dropped down, transforming once more into his feline form. The purple tiger flashed out his claws and actually cut through the chains that held the cell's locks and kept them shut. As the door swung open, he blew on his paw proudly, and brushed it against his chest. Ace raised an eyebrow as she and the Doctor stepped over the unconscious Duchess and Cook.
"How'd you do that, anyway," Ace asked.
"How did the cat eat the rat that lived in the house that Jack built?" replied the feline.
"...Never mind."
"Bunny...off with bunny's head," uttered the deranged Drahvin.
The Rabbit whimpered. Cheshire tilted his head and looked over at the Hearts with a wide, wicked grin.
"Should I let them loose, too?" he purred. "Oh, please, tell me we can leave them here! Slow, lingering deaths are simply the best kind!"
"No, Cheshire. Let them go."
Cheshire pouted like a kitten.
"Oh, Time, you never let me have any fun," he meowed. "But, if you insist..."
The tiger slashed through the King's chains, and then the Queen's. The King went into the Queen's cell, and pulled at her arm.
"Come along with us, dear," he said.
The Queen giggled quietly in response.
"Off with their heads," she said in a delighted, almost melodic tone.
Cheshire rolled his eyes as he moved to the next cell...
As soon as the bars of his captivity were cut, the Knave of Hearts slammed the door into the tiger's face. The small figure sprinted up the stairs and out of the dungeons before anyone could grab hold of him.
Cheshire chased him to the foot of the stairs and roared after him.
"Why, that rotten, ungrateful little creature! I'll turn him into minced pie!"
"Cheshire, calm yourself."
"Oh, thank you, Doctor. I needed that."
"Yes, now, where's the opposite exit?"
"Exit stage left!" Cheshire said, waving a paw around.
"We should hurry – all of us – before the Cards reshuffle and follow," the King said, while his bride gazed around emptily.
"Oh, y-y-yes, indeed!" the Rabbit said, fumbling with his watch. "The average Raston Sentry slowest response time is roughly a quarter of a second...I know, I've counted!"
Everyone—except the Queen—stared at him.
"...Wh-what?"
Cheshire rolled his eyes.
"Well, I doubt they'll be a problem...for the moment at least...still, as they say, Time is of the essence!" the Cat said, then rose, returning to his humanoid form before gesturing for the others to follow. "Come on!"
"Oi! What do you mean, 'for the moment'?"
The cat giggled coyly and leaned towards Ace until their noses nearly touched.
"I'll explain later, snack. Let's move out!"
The cat clapped his hands and marched off.
"Chop chop!" he rapped, the King, Queen, and Rabbit following him.
The Doctor watched as Ace ran to the other end, past the unconscious Androgums. Ace set something down, then began to run.
"Come on, Professor!" she said. "We've got less than forty seconds to blow this popsicle stand!"
"Well, that's an interesting expression, but-"
"Come on!" Ace repeated, and grabbed the Doctor by the arm, half dragging him after them.
As they made their way down the corridor, a loud "BOOM!" echoed down the hall.
The Cheshire Cat stopped; the White Rabbit jumped so high he nearly hit his head on the ceiling.
"What was that?" they both asked at once.
"Nothing," Ace snapped. "Let's go!"
The tunnel went on and on; the cells grew rustier and rustier, and the slope grew steeper and steeper.
"These passages fell into disuse early in the reign of Queen Kardamyne," the White Rabbit suddenly piped up. "They lead outside the castle and were originally designed by the architect as a means by which unruly prisoners could escape and face a swift execution by the forces outside. The door leading to the outside world hadn't been used in...I don't know how long...but I can tell you that the original designers of this structure-"
"All very interesting, I'm sure," the Doctor snapped.
"Hey! Stop! Get back here!" shouted a voice from behind; it was the Cook.
"After them, quick!" came another; no doubt the Duchess.
"Curses," muttered Cheshire. "That blast...whatever it was...must have awakened them."
"Faster, faster!"
Finally, they reached the exit. The large iron door was wide open. Clearly, Cheshire and the Rabbit had used passage this to get in.
"Come on, come on, hurry!" bellowed the King as they ran out.
They all exited. Cheshire slammed the door shut and locked it, using a claw like a key.
"Won't they get out that way?" the Doctor asked. "I mean, they did have keys of their own..."
"Um...not anymore..."
The Cheshire Cat and the Time Lord looked down. The White Rabbit smiled timidly and pulled a familiar ring of keys out of his pocket.
Cheshire laughed.
"Little Rabbit," he grinned, "If you didn't taste so good, I could kiss you."
"Please, don't..."
The Duchess Daemore and her Cook nearly collided face-first with the door. They banged and tugged, but couldn't get it open.
"Argh!" snarled the Cook. "No good, ma'am...it won't move."
"Neither would all that rubble at the other end!" the Duchess shouted. "Come on, Grimwag, isn't there SOME way out of here?"
"Not that I can see, ma'am..."
A low growl echoed in the dungeon, emanating from both of their stomachs. They sighed dismally and slumped down against the door.
"Well...what now?" asked the Duchess.
The Cook looked over at her.
Slowly...his eyes brightened, and he smiled.
"Well," he began slyly, "Until we can figure a way out...we might just have resort to some more drastic measures, you know," gazing upon his fellow Fromagian like a Christmas feast, "whatever's...lying around..."
The Duchess looked over at him.
Slowly...her eyes brightened, and she smiled.
"What a superb idea..." she remarked, licking her lips...