Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. I really appreciate the feedback. It helps inspire me. I hope you enjoy this. Anyway, I put some background into this chapter and excuse the labels. It just makes the story clearer.
Meredith Grey was a party girl. Was being the operative word. In her early years of elementary and middle school, she went to birthday and pool parties every weekend. During her high school years, Meredith was the one that was at every single party you can ever dream of. Whether it was a party for the nerds or the preps, she was there. All the time. When she reached college and med school, it was the heavy combo of her, tequila, and well… you know. But during her few short weeks prior to her internship, her views changing, putting her careers first. Meredith had grown up but never in her wildest dreams did she dream of becoming a mother.
This all changed when she met Derek Sheperd, nervous about her first shift as an intern at Seattle Grace Hospital, Meredith decided to go to a nearby bar that she had remembered from the last time she was in Seattle, when her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Derek turned out to be her boss and Meredith panicked. She never thought that her one-night stand would end up being her boss at the hospital she worked at. After badgering her for weeks about dating him, she finally agreed after a party that her roommate threw. During their relationship, if that was the appropriate word to call it, Meredith wanted to be with him. She wanted to be his wife and the mother of his children but this dream went into a downward spiral when his wife showed up.
His wife showed up and Meredith was sure as hell angry. He had been dating her when he was married. But when the true nature of her emotions surfaced, Derek had chosen to return to Manhattan with his wife.
Then she found out that she was pregnant.
While laying on her bed, during the middle of the night, mourning the loss of a loved one, Meredith was over come with tiredness and a feeling of nausea. She walked into the bathroom and leaned against the shower hoping that the cool wood floors would ease her stomach. No such luck came. Meredith vomited and then went to sleep. She blamed it on her drinking but that was not the case.
Later that day, Meredith glanced at a calendar wondering when her next day off was, realizing that her period had been 4 days late. She later ran off to the nearest grocery store, taking a pregnancy test. The result ended up negative. Trusting her doctoral instincts, Meredith went to the hospital, this time getting a blood test revealing that she was indeed pregnant.
Nine months later, Madison Bridget Grey was born.
Meredith nearly ran toward the elevator, scared. Scared to know what she was feeling, what he was feeling and what Madison was feeling. Just last night, Madison had crawled into bed next to her mother.
"Mommmmmyyyyy…""What is it Maddie?"
"I can't sleep."
"Climb in."
Madison hurriedly snuggled next to her mother. Meredith kissed her daughter's temple and gently stroked her soft brown hair.
"Mommy?"
"Yes sweetie?"
"Who was that at the door?"
"Just a friend."
"Do you like him?"
"Ummm…"
"Is he my daddy?"
Meredith froze at this. This question was the most dreaded question Meredith had since the moment that Madison was born. She was going to have to tell her sooner or later.
"Go to sleep sweetie. You have school."
"Tell me a story."
Meredith smiled. Four year olds and their attention span. You just gotta love them.
"Okay…Once upon a time there was this princess that loved the snow. Especially snowflakes, she was smart and beautiful but the King and Queen wanted her to get married to a prince who lived in a land without snow. Not only did she not want to leave her kingdom but…"
A soft snoring sound came from Madison. Meredith slid her arms around her daughter and gently whispered, "Yes. He is your daddy."
The elevator door clicked shut and Meredith leaned against the wall. Derek was her lover. Ex-lover. At least that was what she hoped. She couldn't love him again. She couldn't get hurt again. She couldn't bear the thought of Madison getting hurt. Derek would make a great father though and she knew it. George had told her stories of surgical cases that he worked on with Derek about children. One in particular was a 2-year old girl who had to have half of her brain removed. She was unsure of what she felt when she first saw him. He had grown older. Gracefully. What was most familiar was the tears that she saw falling down his cheeks. They were the same tears that she had shed four years ago when Derek left. They were tears of pain and love.
Pain is like a shadow, it follows you through the past, present and future.
Mr. Forgo was a writer. One of those poets that tell you to seize the day one too many times. He had had many lovers but one made him want more. One made him feel. Really feel. This woman told him something right before she died. Told him something that will stick in his mind for all eternity. Only a few short moments before her death from cancer, she told Bradley Forgo that when you make a mistake, you have to fix it until you can't anymore. Until you finally understand what Benjamin Franklin meant, that knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping and that even the most worst most intolerable mistake beats the hell out of never even trying. He understood this and incorporated it into many of his poems making him wealthy and successful. And now, on the eve of his death, he knew that he gave his life his all. That he tried.
"Derek…"
The tears kept coming from Derek, they wouldn't stop.
"Derek!" His voice was firm.
The doctor's tears seized and he looked at the patient.
"I'm sorry Mr. Forgo."
"It's alright."
"I should go…"
"Before you do, I want you to know this and listen carefully."
"Alright."
"I too loved a woman. Liver cancer took her life. A few minutes before she died, she told me something that I would never forget. She said that when we make a mistake, we have to fix it. Fix it until you can't anymore. Until you finally under what Benjamin Franklin said hundreds of years ago. You have to understand that knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, that even the worst most intolerable mistake beats the living hell out of never try at all."
"Thank you Mr. Forgo. Now please get some sleep."
"You at least owe me the gratitude of telling the name of this mystery woman."
"Meredith Grey."
"Grey?"
"Meredith, yes?"
"Daughter of Ellis Grey?"
"Yeeesss?" There was great uncertainty in Derek's voice.
"I know her. Well I guess I should say, I remember her."
"You do? How?"
"I was her professor for a time. In English. My finest student."
"Really?"
"Tell her that I said Hello…"
Derek nodded.
"I will. Now you need to get some sleep."
"Alright. Alright."
As Mr. Forgo closed his eyes, Derek left the room. He walked down the hall. He pushed the elevator and the door opened revealing Meredith Grey, in tears.
I hope you enjoyed that. Please review. My highest gratitude.
--we got more bounce in California that all ya'll combined
More Bounce in California by SOULKID #1