Chapter VII: Shuffling

BOOM!

The Hatter yelped and held onto his hat while the March Hare dropped to the ground, hands held over his head in fear and surprise. As the entire throne room shook, a few paintings of the Queen—now covered in moustaches and goofy glasses by the Mad Tea Partygoers—fell to the ground and broke into pieces.

The Dormouse and the Cards remained standing; they didn't budge an inch, even as tiny specks from the ceiling dropped on them.

"What in the Teapot of Rassilon was that?!"

"Some sort of explosion, Hatter, I think…"

"No doubt," Hatter snarled, and turned to the Rastons, snapping his fingers. The robots' skulls twitched as they turned to face their master.

"Cards!" the Hatter snapped. "Check out that blast, then have a scout party locate Time! If my calculations are correct…"

"And his calculations are ALWAYS correct…"

"Thank you, Hare. Anyway, if I'm right, Time has managed to escape the castle. Find him and kill him, no matter how many times you have to do it…then bring me his head!"

"Um…Hatter?"

"What is it, Marchy?"

"Don't you need the key to the Looking-Glass?"

"Oh…good point. All right, Cards, new plan: capture his associate, and bring her to me."

The Cards beside the throne nodded in unison, then vanished.

"His associate?" the March Hare questioned.

"Yes," Hatter said, hands shaking in anxious eagerness. "I intend to make him suffer…have him come to me on his knees, begging me to let that insolent creature out of my grip."

"Ooh!" Hare grinned, paws clasped together, bouncing on his heels. "Can I give her the tea, Hatter?! Please, please, PLEASE can I give her the tea?!"

Hatter smirked at the Hare's antics, like an old uncle watching a rambunctious nephew.

"I'll think about it, Marchy," he chuckled, then turned his eyes heavenward. "Ah, devious Time…clever Time…soon I shall have you at my mercy…"

"Not before I have you at mine, Mad Hatter!"

The March Hare and the Mad Hatter turned as the source of the voice stepped out from behind a pillar.

"Oh. You," the Hatter remarked, in a tone that screamed of boredom. "I thought you were busy rotting in the dungeon, Jacoby."

"So sorry to disappoint, Your Majesty."

"How did you get in here?" asked the March Hare, arms crossed, an eyebrow raised, rather casual, all things considered.

"A simple answer, Mr. March: I took the stairs after Time's little pets let me free."

"Oh, so it was that human that caused the explosion, eh?"

"Quite so; your security failed to notice me, I suppose," the Knave of Hearts sneered, as he stood before the throne, head held as high as he could manage. "Do you know what I plan to do now?"

"Oh, let me guess," the Hatter drawled, hands in his trouser pockets, "You're going to try and kill me."

The Knave smiled a horrible smile, and shook his head.

"Wrong, Hatter. I'm not going to try. I'm going to succeed."

The Hatter's shoulder's shook with laughter, and his head swung from side to side.

"Ah, foolish little – and I do mean little – Knave," the Hatter sighed. "That's just your problem, you know: you can never see the big picture. I know all about you: how tragic it must be to have been on the highest of all soap boxes, and then to fall down into a dirty bathtub. From being the head of the not-so-peaceful Peacekeepers, to an imbecilic dwarf vying for control over an insane asylum. You can't get a break, can you?"

The Hatter's smile turned to a frown.

"I know the feeling."

"Oh, shut up, will you?!" the Knave of Hearts barked, eyes blazing. "I initially intended to make your demise a painless one, but now I think it will be much more enjoyable to cut that rakish tongue from your mouth first!"

The Hatter swept the hat off of his head and bowed, arms spread.

"Come at me, then, Knave."

"As you wish!"

The Knave's short sword suddenly sprang from its scabbard into his hand, and, with a crazed bellow, the dwarf charged forward…

Then froze, suddenly, as—almost out of nowhere—a katana-like blade plunged into his chest, held by the Dormouse, who had leapt forward almost as fast as a Raston.

The Knave's sword fell to the ground, and, clutching his chest and gasping, as the Dormouse's sword slid out of his chest. He realized she held two matching swords, and spun them both once in her gloved mitts.

"Thank you very much, Dorma," smiled Hatter genially, as the Hare giggled like a small boy as he watched the Knave. The Hatter sneered down at the impish Peacekeeper.

"What did I tell you?" Hatter said, smugly. "You fail to notice the little, quiet things…your fatal flaw."

"Emphasis on fatal," smirked the March Hare, one ear flicking quickly.

"You…you treacherous…"

"Fine one to talk you are," laughed the Hatter, approaching with a wide smile. "Deny it all you want, Knave, but in the end…"

The Hatter leaned in close, dropping down to eye level.

"…You are worthless to everyone. Including yourself."

The Knave spat, then hissed as the Dormouse's second sword sliced over his cheek.

The Hatter gazed down, eyes wide; his hat lay on the ground, some spittle on the brim.

"That…that was my best hat…"

He paused, then glared into the Knave's eyes with a piercing, fearsome, searing rage.

His gloved hand shot out, and grabbed the Knave harshly over his bloodstained face.

"THAT WAS MY BEST HAT! MY FAVORITE HAT!" he shouted into his captive's face. "YOU'VE GOTTEN YOUR DISGUSTING SPIT ON IT, YOU STUPID, STUPID CREATURE! YOU WILL SUFFER FOR THIS!"

He pushed, flinging the wounded Knave to the floor.

"Dormouse!" the Hatter ordered, picking up his hat. "Do with him what you'd like. But save the head, and bring it to the tower…as I told you before," he addressed the Knave again, "It shall be the highest in Wonderland…until I use it for bait when fishing in the moat, that is. Away with him."

The Dormouse gave a near imperceptible nod, then, sheathing one of her blades, grabbed the Knave by the throat and dragged him out the room, still gargling on his own blood.

"W-wait!" he choked. "One…one more thing…"

"Let him say it."

The Dormouse loosened her grip, and stopped, but did not let go.

The Knave flashed a bloodstained, haunted grin.

"I could have made it quick for you," he snarled. "I may not be his friend, but when Time is through with you, you'll be left to linger in a purgatory of your own creation. Mark me!"

The Mad Hatter growled, fists clenched.

"Kill him!"

The Dormouse wasted no time, pulling the Knave out of the room fast. The Knave laughed uproariously all the way.

"PEACE!" he raved. "PEACE AT LAST!"

As the doors shut, the Hare handed the Hatter a handkerchief, which his friend used to wipe off his hat.

"Thanks, Marchy."

"You are welcome. Have you thought about it?"

"Hm? About what?"

"The tea, Hatter, the tea!"

"Oh, yes, right! Well, since Dorma's getting her fun right now…"

A terrible scream cut in.

"…I suppose you can have yours."

"Hurrah!" crowed the March Hare, his laughter mingling with a second scream…