The Lisatronic Misplacement Epilogue J. Franklin
THE LISATRONIC MISPLACEMENT
EPILOGUE
Note: This story takes place shortly after "The Egg Salad Equivalency," S6 E12.
(SCENE: PENNY'S apartment. She and LEONARD are enjoying a nice, romantic dinner by candlelight. PENNY refills their wine glasses.)
PENNY: Okay, but I still don't get it. How was it you guys were all able to keep your jobs after the boobs landed in front of Dr. Gablehauser and the guests?
LEONARD: Well, that's a good question, actually. (Takes a sip) It turns out Dr. Shenoy's brother runs a string of adult video stores in New Delhi, and he asked for six Lisas to serve as store window mannequins.
PENNY: And that worked?
LEONARD: Almost. Howard had to convince him the Lisas would be free of charge in exchange for two more years of funding at the university. (Sips wine) Shenoy made him throw in a maintenance agreement, but other than that, it all worked out for the best!
PENNY: And Dr. Gablehauser was okay with this?
LEONARD: Well, not really. But when Dr. Shenoy agreed to extend the funding, there really wasn't much he could do.
PENNY: (Shaking her head) I swear, I will never understand you guys.
LEONARD: (Quizzically) What? Why?
PENNY: Oh, c'mon, Leonard! What kind of guy builds a fake robot girlfriend with lifelike breasts?
LEONARD: (Sips wine again) You want me to count just the guys down at Stuart's comic book store or do you want me to include the guys from the last Comic-Con?
PENNY: (Rolling eyes) Okay, okay. Never mind. (Sips wine) But you know, come to think of it, there is one thing I still haven't figured out.
LEONARD: (Quizzical as well) Really? What?
PENNY: Well, do you remember last Halloween when we watched "Young Frankenstein" together?
LEONARD: (Smiling) Yep.
PENNY: And do you remember how Terri Garr asked Gene Wilder what he got from the monster at the end of the movie?
LEONARD: Uh, no, not really. All I remember was when they made love at the end, he made her sing uncontrollably with passion! (Looks longingly at PENNY)
PENNY: Um, yeah. But I mean – and what I was getting at – was, what happened to the original Lisa? Is she still locked away somewhere in the administrative building?
LEONARD: Um, I think you have the wrong movie.
PENNY: I do?
LEONARD: Yeah. The proper cinematic reference here would be more along the lines of "Raiders of the Lost Ark," not "Young Frankenstein."
PENNY: What do you mean?
LEONARD: Well (sips wine), I'm not entirely sure, but I do know Gablehauser had Lisa confiscated right away and placed in the basement where she'll never be seen again.
PENNY: I don't follow you.
LEONARD: Well, remember at the end of "Raiders" when the warehouse guy is pushing the dolly with the crate on it, and the camera pulls back to show there are thousands of identical crates just like it?
PENNY: (Frowns) Let's just say that I do. What's your point?
LEONARD: Well, we think that's what happened to Lisa. Gablehauser probably has her stashed away somewhere in one of the university vaults next to hundreds of other projects that never succeeded but which were too valuable to throw away! Koothrappali has even joked about trying to come up with a "hidden map" that would show Lisa's most likely location!
PENNY: (Frowning more) Um…yeah, okay.
LEONARD: (Stops smiling) Too many geek movie references again?
PENNY: What? Oh! Oh, not at all! (Pauses) Um, more wine, sweetie?
LEONARD: (Smiling) Thank you!
PENNY: Well, wherever she is, I'm just glad this is all over and you guys got to keep your jobs!
LEONARD: Me too! (They clink glasses) And fortunately, now that this is all over, we never have to worry about Lisa mysteriously showing up and causing trouble again!
PENNY: Hear, hear!
(Cut to: GABLEHAUSER seated in his office. The camera slowly pans back and we see his desk is covered with a tablecloth accompanied by soft candle light and two glasses. A bottle of champagne sits in an ice bucket. We eventually see LISA sitting across from him.)
GABLEHAUSER: As I was saying, Lisa, my wife, well, she really doesn't understand me…
LISA: (in SIRI's voice) I'm. Sorry. To. Hear. That. Dr. Gablehauser. Please. Tell. Me. More…
END