Author's Note: Well here is the next chapter… I don't feel like doing my current event so I'm writing : ) Anyway just enjoy this because I actually updated within a week. That's almost a record.

Previously on Three Loves:

Madison bounded off into the dining room leaving Meredith and Derek to talk for a moment. They shifted on the couch and faced each other.

"Well that went well… she took it better than I expected."

"Meredith… she is an amazing child. You have done so well… better than I would ever do."

"Somehow I doubt that. But about living together… I mean I love Madison but do you really want to-"

Meredith was cut off when Derek kissed her. It was a soft, chaste kiss filled with love, emotion and the pent up passion that was hiding deep in their hearts for the past half-decade.

For the first time in five years, everything felt right.

Now to the up and coming chapter:

In life you have a deck of cards. Hearts are your family and friends, diamonds are your riches, spades are your career, and clubs are your personality or just yourself. Most start out with a good balance but overtime the cards get bent, the game changes, and you end up losing a few. Sometimes, you end up with a defective pack and other's you are given the best kind.

The dinner had been eaten and the dishes had been washed at Meredith's house. Madison was asleep upstairs and it left Meredith and Derek alone for a long overdue talk. It had been so long since they had said more than a few words to each other… one's that just talked about them and the mistakes that they had made. It was never anyone's fault about the past few years… it was just the way that fate decided to play.

Meredith sipped the balmy coffee as she leaned back on her couch and briefly made eye contact with Derek. She missed this about them, the moment when they were just enjoying a cup of coffee and each other's silent company. The dinner wasn't too bad and Madison seemed to accept the fact that Derek was her father. She slowly drummed her fingers on the warm ceramic and contemplated for a moment. She should say something… talk about what had happened so long ago. When her mind couldn't stand the argument anymore, Meredith decided to just talk about it and get it out before she explodes.

"Derek…"

"Hmmm?" He sleepily pulled off one of his McDreamy smiles and sipped his coffee.

"What happened to us? We're adults… we just became adults over night. When did it happen? And how do we make it stop?"

"Where have a heard that before?"

"Are you trying to be all dreamy now?" Meredith clenched her teeth for a moment but relaxed when his perfect indigo eyes met hers.

"Meredith, I'm in love with you. I can't stay away anymore."

"Derek…"

"Please let me finish. When I was in New York, I thought about you day and night… I just wanted to looked across the operating table and meet your eyes and tell you that I love you… that I need you."

"I can't risk it Derek. You hurt me. When you left a part of me died."

"I understand what you're saying Meredith."

"I don't doubt you do, but what I went through… I'm not willing to go through it again."

"I'm not going to hurt you Meredith."

Meredith felt the hot tears roll down her cheek. She reached out with both hands and gently grabbed Derek's. She led them to her beating heart.

"Do you feel this Derek? Right here. That's my heart. It's not a toy. You broke it really bad last time and I didn't think that I could fix it. But I did. It can't take another beating. It might not be fixable this time."

"Meredith…"

"Derek, my heart is not something you can mess with. It's fragile. It's vulnerable. It can't break again. I don't know what will happen if it does."

"I won't… I can't break your heart again Meredith."

"I want to believe you… I really do Derek but I can't risk it."

"Meredith… didn't that kiss mean anything to you?"

"It did… I have feelings for you … still. In the same I'll-give-you-the-last-piece-of-cheesecake way… in the hold-a-stereo-outside-your-window way. But despite all that it doesn't change the fact that you broke me."

Those words hit Derek like a ton of bricks.

You broke me.

Three simple words… like I love you. But the way she said it, it was filled with pain.

Pain… another word that killed him.

That guy that wrote, 'Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me,' is so stupid.

"Meredith, I'm sorry. I can say it a thousand, million times just please say that you love me and you forgive me."

"I can't do that. Sorry doesn't mean anything anymore. I want it to but a part of me knows better."

"It doesn't change the fact that I love you."

"Just understand for me Derek."

"What about Madison?"

"It's not her fault and I don't want her to be punished for it."

"But she deserves to have both of us around."

"She deserves not feeling the pain that I felt."

"Meredith… Madison is my daughter, I want the absolute best for her."

"So do I and I know that you can give her the best. Derek I trust you. But not with my heart."

"Meredith…"

"I want you to go upstairs, kiss Madison, tell her you love her, go home and go to work tomorrow. I don't want this Derek."

"After all this time, you still trust and love me. Shouldn't that be enough?"

"Enough… there will never be enough Derek. I'm a sink with an open drain. The day you left, you pulled the plug. There is no enough."

"When will there be enough Meredith? Today I poured my heart and soul to you and Madison."

"There will never be enough."

Meredith curled her fists and felt the tears come. She drew in a deep breath and stood up.

"Derek, leave."

"No, Meredith."

"What part of 'No' don't you get?"

Derek stood up to meet Meredith at eye level. She pulled her fists back.

"Why do you want me Derek? Do you really want this? What is it about me that draws you back here?"

Meredith clenched her fists tighter and tried to move away put Derek quickly yet gently grabbed her fists. Meredith opened her mouth but the grip he had on her fists effectively silenced her.

"Meredith, it's your hair and your tiny ineffectual fists. It's your smile, personality and the look in your eyes whenever you're smiling. It's the way you obsess over chocolate cheesecake. It's you."

Meredith turned her head and looked into the kitchen. It seemed to be forever until Derek swept her up, held her bridal style and passionately kissed her.

Pain is like a shadow, it can surprise you.

Meredith fumbled with the doorknob as Derek held her tightly. She felt herself crying as soon as she opened the door to her room.

"Meredith?"

"Promise you won't hurt me Derek. That you won't hurt Madison."

"Yes."

"Promise."

"I promise Meredith."

He kissed her softly again before making love to her for the first time in five years.

Izzy and George walked into the house through the back door and heard a flurry of noises in the house. They looked at each other for a moment before heading toward the kitchen table.

Izzy pulled out chocolate cake and looked at George, "Want some?"

"Sure."

Izzy walked over with two glasses of milk and cake.

"You know George, the brightside is that Meredith is happy."

"Downside, we're going to have more sleepless nights in Seattle."

"I think I have earplugs in my room."

George dove into his cake and thought for a moment.

"Izzy… did you get anything for Meredith's birthday yet?"

"No. Why?"

"I think we should get her a new mattress."

I guess sometimes when you make your play with cards; you end up with the joker. Which can be anything.

Whew! Well there's another chapter down. Anyway, I'm thinking that this story will be completed in… 11 or 14 chapters? What do you guys think? Let me know.

--I'll keep you my dirty little secret.

Dirty Little Secret by The All American Rejects