Thanks again to abigailc, Susan17, EBStarr and tv-crazy for your reviews, I'm really grateful to all of you for taking the time to read and review this story. And I'm really pleased you guys like the story. I know it's been ages since I updated, I've been really busy – I hope it was worth the wait!

Fear of Flying

"Susan."

Mark leant over the bed where Susan was sleeping peacefully, her mouth open and a trickle of drool falling onto the pillow. She didn't stir.

"Susan."

He waved the cup of coffee he held in his hand under her nose.

"Susan, it's time to get up."

"Hmmph."

Mark laughed. Susan wasn't a morning person.

"We've got to get to work."

"Five more minutes," she mumbled, rolling over in bed and pulling the covers over her head, trying to hide.

"You said that ten minutes ago," Mark said, sitting down next to her and placing the coffee on the bedside cabinet. He heard her groan from under the sheets as he tried to pull them away from her.

"Mark!" Susan complained.

"Susan!" Mark mimicked her.

This had become their morning ritual. They barely spent a night apart except when they were at work. So far they had managed to keep their relationship secret…or so they thought!…despite almost being caught out several times by some unsuspecting nurses!

Mark eventually dragged Susan out of bed and after they had shared a shower, they made their way to work, Susan by car and Mark on the El train, in an effort to keep up their charade. The ER was busy – the summer brought with it sun burn, heat stroke and barbeque smoke inhalation suffered by over-enthusiastic chefs.

"God, I hate the summer," Susan moaned later to Mark over lunch. They had met at a café several blocks away from the hospital, over looking the river.

Mark laughed. "You say that about every season."

"Well, at least I'm consistent," Susan replied as she wiped the sweat from her soaked forehead. "So, today's the big day, huh?"

Susan was referring to the impending announcement as to which hospital was to be closed. There had been rumours flying around the hospital for weeks and everyone was worried they were about to lose their jobs.

"Yep. Our fate is soon to be decided," Mark said philosophically.

"So, wanna go out and celebrate tonight?" Susan asked.

"They might decide to close us down," Mark said.

"And the bad news is…?" Susan joked.

Mark shook his head at Susan's usual humorous response to anything about work.

"You know, you should take this more seriously. It could affect your career," Mark said.

Susan shrugged. "So, I'd get a job at another hospital."

"And how long would it take you to work your way up to being Chief Resident? You've got a good chance at being offered the position again next year."

"Who said anything about being Chief Resident?" Susan said, frowning.

"Don't you want to be one day?" Mark asked.

Susan shrugged. "I don't know. It wasn't what I wanted last year, and I'm not sure it'll be what I want next year."

Mark sat back in his seat, silently.

"What?"

"Nothing," Mark said. "It's just, don't you want something – I don't know – more?"

"More than what? Mark, every day I go to work and I help people. A cancer patient; a new mother; a scared child. And I love it; I love my job, but that's all it is. Once upon a time, I thought it was everything; and then Susie came along and she changed everything. She changed me. So yeah, I do want more. One day, I want to be a wife and a mother. And I want to be good at it."

Mark leant across the table and took her hands in his own.

"You will be good at it," he said.

Susan smiled. "You're not disappointed?"

"Disappointed? God, no, I'm not disappointed," Mark answered, lifting his hand to touch her cheek.

"Good. 'Cause I'm hoping that one day you'll help me," Susan said.

Mark leant over the table and kissed her deeply, wishing they were somewhere a lot more private. They were interrupted by the sound of a pager beeping.

"It's probably Kerry, nagging me that I'm late for the meeting," Mark said, rolling his eyes and digging deep in his pockets.

"Uh, no, it's me," Susan sighed, pulling the beeping object from her bag.

They paid their bill and walked back to the hospital together, hand-in-hand until they knew they were in danger of being spotted.

"Susan," Kerry called from behind the admit desk as soon as they walked back into the hospital. "There's been an MVA accident, a husband and wife, and I need you to go out on scene."

Susan nodded.

"The helicopter's waiting for you," Kerry continued.

Susan caught her breath. "The what?"

"Helicopter," Kerry repeated. "Helicopter 1-6-5. The accident is in the middle of nowhere and there's no trauma centre nearby. There's a box of medical supplies in the lounge, you'll need to take it with you."

"Oh no, no, no," Susan panicked. She felt Mark place his hand on her back in comfort. It wasn't working.

"Kerry, why don't I go?" Mark suggested.

"No, Mark, we have our meeting this afternoon," Kerry said, distracted by a mountain of paperwork in front of her and not noticing Susan's horrified expression. "Susan will be fine on her own."

With that, Kerry walked off.

"Oh God," Susan said. Mark took her hands, noticing that they were shaking.

"You'll be fine," he reassured her.

"Oh God."

"Susan. Susan. Everything will be ok. I've done it loads of times before."

Susan looked up at Mark and nodded, determined. "Right. It's fine. I can do this."

"Yes, you can," Mark said.

Susan turned around and started to walk towards the lounge.

"Oh God," she muttered under her breath. She grabbed the medical supplies and her jacket, and made her way up to the roof. She felt sick with nerves at the thought of flying. Mark followed her up the roof, where they were greeted by a flight nurse.

"Dr Lewis?" she asked. "We're ready."

Susan stopped in her tracks when she saw the helicopter. The noise was deafening, and she instinctively brought her hands up to her ears to shield them from the roar.

"Susan?" Mark's voice came from behind her. "Just take a deep breath, ok?"

"Ok," Susan said, before shaking her head. "My knees won't move!"

They had to yell to be heard over the helicopter.

"Dr Lewis, we've got to go," the flight nurse said.

Susan nodded, trying to muster enough courage to make her legs work. She turned to face Mark.

"I'll see you later," she said.

Mark nodded. "You'll be fine," he said again. He bent down and kissed her.

Susan smiled gratefully and turned around, and with a very deep breath walked over to the helicopter. Mark stood waiting as she got on the helicopter, and watched as it rose into the air and flew away, standing on the roof until it was a tiny speck in the distance. The clouds were dark, suggesting that a storm was brewing. He only moved when his pager began to beep. Glancing at his watch, he realised that he was late for the all-important meeting. With one last look across the skyline, he went downstairs to meet Kerry and Morgenstern.

"Mark, where have you been? We've been waiting," Kerry complained.

"Sorry, I was, uh…"

"Never mind," Kerry interrupted. "Let's get this over with."

Mark could feel everyone watching them as they made their way to the meeting. The rumours had clearly been making their way around the hospital. They squashed themselves into a tiny room filled with representatives from all the local hospitals. Mark looked around at their worried faces, all hoping that their hospital wouldn't be named. A buzz of whispers filled the air and Mark realised that he, too, was nervous.

Meanwhile, Susan was trying not to hyperventilate as the helicopter wobbled across the city. She sat, her back rigid and her shoulders tense, breathing methodically, in and out.

'Just concentrate on breathing,' she told herself over and over again.

She heard a clunking noise from outside the helicopter and it broke her concentration.

"What was that?" she asked.

The answer from the flight nurse was muffled by the noise of the helicopter.

"What?" Susan said.

"It was just the pilot adjusting the rotor pitch, it's perfectly normal," the flight nurse answered again.

Susan nodded, pretending to understand. Her mind drifted to thinking about Mark. He would be in the meeting now where the fate of the hospital was being decided. Susan wished she was there; in fact, Susan wished she was anywhere but in the helicopter. Mostly, she wished she was somewhere with Mark.

She heard another clunk and she shut her eyes, trying to block out her surroundings. She imagined herself with Mark, in his arms, lying on a beach somewhere. Maui; she'd always wanted to go to Maui.

The helicopter began to shake uncontrollably and the clunking noise got louder and more frequent. Outside a rumble of thunder sounded. Susan opened her eyes and saw the fearful expression of the flight nurse sitting in front of her, telling her this was not normal.

"Oh God."

Back at the meeting, the tension in the room was reaching unbearable when an important looking lady with a clipboard stood up and cleared her throat, asking for silence.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I shall make this quick and as painless as possible. As of next week, Southside Hospital will close."

Mark joined Kerry and Morgenstern in breathing a sigh of relief. They listened as more announcements were made – management changes mostly – then Mark made a quick exit. When he got back to the ER he found himself engulfed in a swarm of ER staff, all of whom were firing questions at him, probing him for information.

"What happened?"

"What did they say?"

"Are they shutting us down?"

"Are we losing our jobs?"

Mark put his hands up to stop them from all questioning him at once.

"Ok, ok, everyone just shut up! I'm sorry to tell you…that you're not getting out of this place. We're staying open!"

Everyone around him cheered. Over at the desk, Jerry turned the radio on, blaring out music and a party broke out in the ER. Mark laughed to see the entire ER so happy about keeping jobs that they so often complained about. Lydia grabbed Mark, pulling him into a circle of dancing nurses. The ER came to a standstill as everyone got lost in enjoying themselves.

"Hey Carol, any news from the chopper?" Mark asked later, when he realised that Susan wasn't back yet.

"Nope, not yet," Carol answered. "But the weather's pretty bad out there, they might have had problems getting back."

Mark looked through the doors, where it was dark and wet. He hadn't noticed the change in the weather. A couple of police officers were coming into the door, one almost slipping on the wet floor. They came over to the desk.

"Can I help you?" Mark asked.

"We've had a call from fire and rescue about helicopter, uh," the police officer paused to check his notebook, "1-6-5."

'Susan's chopper,' Mark thought. He noticed how serious the police officers looked and it made him nervous.

"I understand one of your docs was on it?" the police officer continued.

Mark nodded. The music from the party was filling his ears, irritating him. "Jerry, turn the radio off."

"But, Dr Green…" Jerry started to argue.

"Now!" Mark snapped.

Surprised, Jerry turned off the music causing the ER staff to moan.

"Susan Lewis, she was on the chopper. What's happened?" Mark asked.

"I'm afraid I've got some bad news."

The moaning stopped and everyone's attention became focused on what he was saying.

"Chopper 1-6-5 got caught up in the storm and suffered from a broken propeller. They tried to make an emergency landing, but they got into trouble and crashed."

Mark felt sick. He didn't want to hear what he knew the police officers were here to tell them.

"I'm sorry, but it's believed that there are no survivors."