Once again, thank you to dupton, Melissa Larkin and abigailc for your reviews :)

Soulmates

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Susan greeted Carol as she sat down opposite her in Doc Magoo's. Carol looked up, the mass of curls on her head tousled over to one side, a stressed look on her face.

"I'm going to fail," Carol moaned, dropping her head and repeatedly banging it on the table.

Susan laughed. "You're not going to fail. You know this stuff."

Susan had been helping Carol with her studies for her pre-med course, and had more faith in her friend than Carol herself did.

"Can I get you anything?" the waitress came up and asked.

"I'll have a coffee, please," Susan said. "Carol?"

A muffled reply came from Carol, whose head was still face down on the table.

"What?"

Carol lifted her head. "Nothing, thanks."

"What time is your exam?" Susan asked.

"In a couple of hours. I've been cramming all morning," Carol answered. "I feel like my head is about to explode. Look, I've even got a pimple."

Carol pointed to a tiny red spot on her face and Susan laughed again.

"It's not funny! I've got a date tonight," Carol said.

Susan was surprised. "A date? Who with?"

Carol looked bashful. "You don't know him."

Susan raised her eyebrows.

"What?" Carol asked, cocking her head to one side, letting out an exasperated sigh.

Susan shrugged and shook her head. "Nothing."

"I can't wait forever for him to grow up," Carol said simply, a hint of regret in her voice. They both knew she was talking about Doug. Susan smiled sympathetically. She knew what Carol really wanted; she knew what Doug really wanted. But she also knew it was best not to get involved. Let them get there on their own – like Mark. Susan had always ignored everyone when they had told her that she and Mark were perfect together, yet they had been right. Susan had faith that Carol and Doug would realise the same in their own time.

"So, how are things between you and Mark?" Carol questioned, taking the attention away from her own troubled love life.

Susan frowned. "He's plotting something, I can tell. He keeps making mysterious phone calls and being all secretive. Either that or he's having an affair."

Carol laughed, averting her eyes to the table.

"Hey, do you know what's going on?" Susan asked.

Carol pretended to look innocent. "Me? I don't know anything," she answered, still laughing.

Susan shook her head and crossed her arms across her chest, pretending to sulk. It was her birthday next month. She hated her birthday, it never went smoothly. She had already guessed that whatever Mark was planning had something to do with her birthday, but he was doing very well at keeping it a secret; and so was everyone else, apparently.

The waitress brought over Susan's coffee and she sat as Carol fired question after question at her until her pager started to bleep.

"Damn it, I'm late," Susan swore, grabbing her coat and bag.

"You're going?" Carol asked.

"I've got to get to work. Look, you'll do great. Call me later, I'm working until midnight," Susan said.

Susan left Carol as she poured over more notes and rushed across to the ambulance bay just as Mark was coming out.

"You're late," was the first thing he said to her, greeting her with a kiss.

"Sorry, I've been helping Carol prepare for her exam later," Susan said. "What are you still doing here, I thought you're shift finished an hour ago?"

"It did," Mark answered, rolling his eyes. "We've got an attempted suicide coming in, want to help?"

Susan stood with Mark as an ambulance pulled up in front of them. The doors opened and a paramedic emerged, pulling the patient out after him.

"This is twenty-eight year old Rebecca. Attempted suicide by swallowing a couple of bottles of Tylenol. Be careful, she's a lively one," the paramedic said.

The young woman on the gurney was struggling and it took all of them to hold her down as they pushed her into the ER.

"Let's get LFTs, a gastric lavage and someone prepare 50grams of charcoal," Susan ordered.

"And someone get some restraints, she's not settling," Mark continued.

"Rebecca? Rebecca, you need to calm down," Susan attempted to soothe the patient in front of her.

"Charcoal's here," Malik said, coming into the trauma room.

The young woman was still refusing to co-operate, pushing everyone away as they tried to pour the charcoal down her throat.

"Rebecca, if you don't settle down we're going to have to do this through your nose, and it's going to be ten times worse," Susan said.

"Let me die," Rebecca pleaded, refusing to relent.

"We can't do that," Mark said. "Ok, let's get a nasogastric tube."

Eventually they managed to treat her with charcoal and she finally settled down, knowing that she had lost her battle.

"Let me know when her LFTs get back," Susan asked Malik as she followed Mark out of the trauma room, pulling off her gloves and throwing them away. They wandered over to the admit desk where Doug was stood carrying out chart reviews.

"Ah, there they are, the Mutt and Jeff of Emergency Medicine," Doug joked as they approached him.

They gave him identical bemused looks.

"Have you seen Carol today?" he asked them.

"I met her for breakfast this morning," Susan answered.

"How's she feeling about her exam?" Doug asked.

"She's nervous as hell," Susan laughed.

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" Mark asked.

Doug ignored his question. "Do you think we should do something later? Take her out for dinner or something to celebrate?"

Mark nodded in agreement while Susan stood in silence, feeling uncomfortable.

"Susan?" Doug questioned.

"Um, I think she's busy," Susan answered, as dismissively as possible.

"Busy?"

Susan looked sympathetically at Doug. "She's got a date."

"A date?" Mark asked, surprised. "Who with?"

"She wouldn't tell me," Susan said.

"Oh, well, never mind. It was just an idea," Doug said, walking away looking dejected. "See you guys later."

Susan and Mark gave each other knowing looks.

"Are you going home now?" Susan asked him.

"Yep, I've worked fourteen hours, I'm knackered," Mark answered.

"Dr Greene, there's a fax here for you," Jerry said, passing Mark a piece of paper. Mark read it, then folded it up and put it into his back pocket. Susan eyed him suspiciously.

"Anything interesting?" she asked as casually as possible.

"No," Mark said.

"Mark!" Susan whined. This constant secrecy was starting to wind her up.

"It's nothing," Mark said, turning towards her so that his back pocket was away from her.

"Then why won't you show me? You've been acting weird for weeks," Susan said. She reached behind his back, fighting him to try and snatch the piece of paper out of his pocket.

"What are you doing?!" Mark asked, laughing.

"Let me see!" Susan squealed.

"No!"

"Mark?"

Their fighting was interrupted by a familiar voice. They turned around.

"Jenn," Mark said, surprised to see his ex-wife stood in front of him.

"Hi, Mark," Jennifer said. "Susan."

"Hi, Jennifer," Susan said, smiling awkwardly. "I'd better get back to work."

Susan made a quick exit, leaving Mark and Jenn at the desk.

"What are you doing here?" Mark asked.

"I was in town for work, I thought we could grab some coffee," Jenn answered. "When is your break?"

"I actually just finished," Mark said, surprised by the friendly gesture. "We could go now?"

Jenn nodded.

"I'll just grab my coat," Mark said.

Susan was busy making her way through the long list of waiting patients. She spotted the suicide attempt patient from earlier through the doors to one of the exam rooms and paused. The young woman was crying. Susan went in slowly and sat down next to the bed.

"Hi, Rebecca, how are you feeling?" she asked.

Rebecca ignored her, turning her face away from her. Susan continued unperturbed.

"Do you want to tell me why you took all those pills?"

There was still no answer. Susan sighed.

"Rebecca, whatever's happened, it can't be worth taking your life like that," Susan said gently.

"What would you know about it," Rebecca spat at her. "Why couldn't you just let me die?"

"We couldn't let that happen," Susan said. She reached out and placed her hand on Rebecca's arm, but she pulled away.

"Just leave me alone," Rebecca said, rolling onto her side away from Susan.

Susan sighed and got up from her chair to leave the room. Malik was waiting outside for her.

"We've got her doctor's notes. Her husband died six weeks ago from cancer. She's been treated for depression ever since," Malik said, handing Susan the notes.

"Thanks Malik," Susan said. She looked back into the exam room, wondering if she had what it took to help this woman.

In Doc Magoo's, Mark and Jenn were making small talk over coffee.

"So, are you going to tell me why you're really here?" Mark asked.

Jenn smiled at him. He could still read her like a book, despite the divorce.

"Craig asked me to marry him," she said. "And I said yes."

Mark leant back in his chair and looked at his ex-wife sat in front of him. They had spent seven years together and he had never seen her look so happy and so relaxed as she did right now.

"Congratulations," he finally said.

Jenn raised her eyebrows. "That's all you're going to say?"

"What did you expect me to say?" Mark asked, bemused.

"I don't know," Jenn answered, shrugging her shoulders, surprised.

"I'm pleased for you," Mark said.

Jenn studied him. "This new, relaxed personality of yours wouldn't have anything to do with Susan Lewis, would it?" she questioned.

Mark squirmed slightly. Jenn had always been jealous of their friendship and he had always denied it with a clean conscience.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Mark. I saw the two of you at the desk. I'm guessing you're more than just good friends these days?" Jenn said.

"I love her," Mark admitted.

Jenn smiled. "I knew it," she said triumphantly.

"Nothing ever happened between us when you and I were married," Mark defended.

"Hey, Mark, it's ok. You look happy," Jenn said.

Mark nodded. "I am."

They smiled at each other, finally reaching an understanding.

"Is your shift sucking as much as mine?" Doug asked Susan, catching up with her down one of the corridors.

"I've had better," Susan said.

"I hear Jenn's in town," Doug said mischievously.

"Don't start me on that," Susan said, glaring at him. Doug laughed.

"Do I spy the green-eyed monster in you?" Doug joked.

"Why should I be jealous? They only slept together last time she dropped by for a visit," Susan ranted, then stopped when she realised what she had said.

Doug raised his eyebrows. "They slept together? When?"

Susan paused, contemplating whether or not she should tell him, but realising she had already told him the worst, she continued.

"Earlier this year, when they were working out the details of their divorce."

"Wow, talk about keeping things amicable," Doug commented.

"You're not helping," Susan said.

"I don't think you've got anything to worry about. Mark's crazy about you, everyone knows that," Doug said reassuringly. "I've never seen him so happy."

Susan smiled gratefully at Doug.

"Hey, Dr Lewis, you're overdose patient is having a second attempt," Malik interrupted them, rushing past.

"What?"

"She's on the roof, looks like she's about to jump," Malik explained over his shoulder as he ran outside.

"Oh my God," Susan exclaimed.

She rushed up to the roof, with Doug following close behind. There was already a handful of people on the roof. Susan spotted Rebecca on the edge.

"Rebecca!" Susan called. The patient turned around.

"Why can't you just leave me alone!" she screamed at Susan.

"You don't have to do this," Susan said gently, slowly edging closer.

"Go away," Rebecca pleaded.

"Be careful, Susan," Doug said under his breath.

"I know about your husband, Rebecca, and I'm sorry," Susan said.

"You didn't even know him," Rebecca spat.

"You're right. You're right, I didn't," Susan said. "But you did, and do you really think he would want you to do this?"

"He'd want us to be together," Rebecca cried.

"Not like this," Susan said, her voice pleading.

"He was my husband. He was my soulmate, my other half. I can't live without him." Tears were streaming down her face.

Susan looked back towards Doug, her eyes begging for help.

"Rebecca? Rebecca, my name's Doug," he said, stepping forward.

"Don't come any closer," Rebecca said, her voice threatening.

"Ok. Ok," Doug said, raising his hands in surrender. "Can I talk to you, please?"

"Talk about what? There's nothing to talk about," Rebecca said, each word pronounced with anger. "You don't know what this is like. You don't know how it feels not to be with the one person who you loved more than anyone or anything else."

"I think maybe I do," Doug said. "There's this woman, who I love more than anything. I think that maybe she's my soulmate. But I can't be with her."

"Why not?" Rebecca asked.

"Because she doesn't want to be with me. I've done things in the past, stupid things, things that have hurt her. I pushed away."

"And you think that's the same?" Rebecca asked scornfully. "This woman, she's still alive, right?"

Doug nodded.

"Then how can it be the same? You still have a chance. My husband is dead," she cried. "And what about you? Are you going to tell me some sob story too?"

She had turned her attention back to Susan. Susan shook her head.

"No, I'm not."

"You're in love, right? I can tell. You have that happy glow about you," Rebecca said, bitterly. "Is he your soulmate?"

"I don't know," Susan answered truthfully. "I know that I love him. I know that I love being with him. I know that I miss him when he's not around."

"I think he is," Rebecca said, tears spilling from her eyes. "Your eyes smile when you talk about him. Mine used to do that. You should hold on to him."

"I will," Susan said. "Please, would you come away from the edge?"

"It's not fair!" Rebecca screamed, slowly becoming oblivious to the people around her.

"Rebecca, please?"

"It's not fair! Why did he have to get sick? Why did he have to die? He was one of the good guys. It's not fair."

"I know it's not fair. Please, will you just come back from the edge and we'll talk, ok?" Susan begged again.

Rebecca shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I need to be with him," she said, lifting her left foot off the platform where she stood.

"Rebecca, no!" Susan screamed, running forward. It was too late as they saw her body fall from the roof. Doug ran after Susan, grabbing her round the waist as she reached the edge. They both closed their eyes as they heard the thud of her body hit the floor.

An hour later, Kerry found Susan in the lounge, having just been interviewed by the police.

"Susan, you look awful," Kerry said. "Why don't you go home and get some rest? You've had an eventful shift."

"No, it's ok, Kerry," Susan said. She didn't like owing Kerry any favours.

"Susan, go home," Kerry ordered, ignoring Susan's defiance. "We can cope."

Susan gave in, grateful for the excuse to finish early. "Ok. Thanks, Kerry," she said, grabbing her coat and bag.

"Have you seen Doug?" Susan asked Jerry on her way out.

"He left about half an hour ago, said he had something he had to do," Jerry answered. "See you tomorrow, Dr Lewis."

"Bye Jerry," Susan said.

She walked outside into the fresh air. There was still a section in front of the ER taped off, and blood stains on the floor where the body had fallen. Susan looked away and carried on walking to her car. She drove aimlessly for half an hour. She felt numb, from her fingers to her toes; numb with guilt that she had failed to help her patient. Working in the ER meant not allowing yourself to become personally involved with your patients. Susan liked that about her job. At the end of most days, she could walk away, but not today. Today was one of those days that haunted her.

Eventually, she ended up at Mark's apartment. She knocked on the door and waited patiently until he opened it.

"Hey," he greeted her, surprised to see her. "I thought you were working until midnight?"

He opened the door and Susan walked in. "They let me out early for good behaviour," she joked softly. "I wasn't sure you'd be here."

Mark immediately felt defensive. "Jenn and I went for coffee, that's all," he started.

"That's not what I meant," Susan interrupted. "I just meant…never mind. I trust you. I just wanted to see you."

Mark noticed how tired and sad she looked as she stepped up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning her body in towards his and resting her head on his chest. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply as he wrapped his arms around her. He held her tightly feeling her breath rhythmically against his chest.

"Is everything ok?" Mark finally asked, breaking the silence.

Susan looked up at him. "You remember that woman we treated this morning, the one who'd taken the overdose?"

Mark nodded.

"Her husband died six weeks ago, that's why she took all the pills," Susan said. "She said he was her soulmate. She said that she couldn't live without him."

"She'll be ok. People lose loved ones and they learn to live again. It just takes time," Mark said, running his fingers through her hair.

Susan shook her head, tears starting to form in her eyes. "She jumped off the roof."

Mark gasped in shock.

"I tried. I tried to talk to her; Doug tried to talk to her. But she jumped. She said she just wanted to be with him," Susan sighed, the tears falling down her face. Mark pulled her in close again, planting a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm sorry," Mark said, not knowing what else to say.

"Do you believe in soulmates?" Susan asked.

"I don't know, I've never really thought about it," Mark answered. "Do you?"

"I don't know," Susan said. She looked up at Mark again. This was hard for her. She wasn't the type of person to wear her heart on her sleeve. "But I think if they do exist, you're mine. Because I love you and I want you in my life, always."

Susan reached her hand up to his neck and pulled his head towards her, kissing him. She was scared by how powerful her feelings were for him; scared because she felt like she couldn't live without him; scared because she never wanted find out. She pulled him towards the bedroom, needing to forget the day's events and wanting to get lost in his touch, his kiss, for as long as possible.

Hours later, when they were wrapped up in bed together, Susan asked the question which had been plaguing her all day.

"So, what did Jennifer want?"

"She and Craig are getting married," Mark answered.

Susan shifted her weight was that she could look at him, surprised at his cool response. "Really?"

Mark nodded.

"Are you ok with that?" Susan asked cautiously.

"You know what? I don't care," Mark answered casually.

"Mark…"

"Really," Mark interrupted. "I don't care. Maybe I would if things were different. But how can I begrudge her happiness when I have you?"

It wasn't a question that needed answering. Susan stared at him, then kissed him gently before resting her head back down on his chest, and she smiled.