Crona in Wonderland
*Do not own Soul Eater or anything having to do with Soul Eater
*Notes*: Fem Crona and will loosely follow the EXACT story of Alice in Wonderland (No adaptation is the same).
Chapter 6: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Tea Party
Crona continued to walk through the thick woods listening for wherever the music was coming from. As she (hopefully)drew near its location, she started to notice that the path she was taking looked like it was man-made. It wasn't exactly a road but it definitely looked like a dirt path of some sort that she was following.
Perhaps she wasn't lost in the middle of some forest like she feared but was instead on a whole new route, but it's still not a good thing since she was told she was going the right way to begin with.
Anyway, she continued to follow the music. As she got closer a certain smell caught her attention. It wasn't bad but it was strong. She sniffed the air again and recognized it as tea...wait, what?
She looked around. Was someone else out here? Well if they were drinking tea and listening to what sounded like classical music, then chances were that they weren't going to be another monster. Crona continued on, but trying to follow the music was easier said then done because it echoed of the trees and seemed to be coming from multiple angles.
She walked forward looking back and forth for anything that even remotely resembled a person. As she walked she failed to notice an upcoming object and-"OW..." she said as she fell back on the ground.
As she got up she opened her eyes to what looked like a road sign. It was indeed a sign and she read it as she regained her composure. "What is this...?" she asked leaning forward to read it more carefully. "Mad Hatter? March Hare?" she said questioningly. The sign held two arrows pointing in two directions, each one labeled with one of the names that she had read.
She looked at the directions that the arrows were pointing and wondered something. "Well I don't want to come across anyone whose MAD but what is MARCH HARE?" and as she thought that thought, she began to smell the aroma of tea once again. The music was getting louder as well.
Crona turned and looked in the direction labeled HATTER, and in the short distance she spotted something. In fact, she thought she could see people. She began to walkover and as she approached, she could see that she was correct. It was two men and a woman sitting at a large table covered with teapots, plates, cake, and multiple other things.
The closer she got, the more she began to feel uneasy. The three individuals looked awfully familiar, and not in a good way. Crona eventually arrived at an open gate that led to the table where the strangers were sitting doing seemingly...nothing.
Crona's eyes widened a little. One of the men was sitting at the very back of the table. He was wearing a top hat that was designed in black and white plaid. The shadow of the hat hid his eyes except for a glowing dot in the place of his left eye. He had short black hair and very dark skin. He was wearing a long black coat and a white shirt and black pants to go wit it.
Sitting next to him was a rather bored looking woman with long brown rabbit ears. She had her brown hair tied into a ponytail that resembled three long scythe blades. She wore a basic black top and jeans. She actually looked like a rather frightening woman.
And finally on the opposite side to her a few chairs down sat another ma. He had short blond hair with what looked like mouse ears. His outfit was accustomed to that of a priest with the exception of a pair of headphones he was wearing. It was quite odd the he was listening to music because he was asleep at the same time.
Crona's eyes widened more. Now she recognized them. The one with the hat she recognized as the sorcerer Noah, the priest was the death scythe Justin Law, And the woman reminded Crona of Giriko, but Giriko wasn't a girl...right (cough-salvage arc-cough).
As she took a step forward, the three glanced at her for a moment without moving and then looked away again only a moment later. Crona stared at them for a moment before speaking. "Um excuse me, I'm a little lost. I don't suppose you could tell me how to get to the Queen's castle? If you know about it that is."
The three instantly turned their faces away from her and ignored her question. "...Ummm..." Crona felt confused, did they intentionally ignore her? She walked up to Justin (the dormouse) and lightly tapped his soldier. But even though asleep, he jerked away from her. She stepped back not knowing what to think.
She walked over to Noah (Mad Hatter) next. "Um, I'm really sorry if I'm troubling you, but I am seriously in need of directions, so I don't suppose you could-" before she could finish her sentence, the kicked his feet up on the table an turned away rom her in a relaxing pose. Now Crona felt a little flustered. She could feel herself start to get mad ad her face growing red.
She looked at Giriko (March Hare), but rather than trying to talk to her Crona decided to dodge a bullet and just leave still wondering what these guys' problem was. As she reached the opposite end of the table, something white caught her eyes. It was an envelope at the edge of the table. it said to "To Alice" (DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND)
For some reason she felt like picking it up, but the instant she moved, the March Hare got up and not only jumped onto the table but also ran across it, breaking several things in the process, and finally she crashed herself into the chairs in front of Crona. Crona shrieked and nearly fell back. March (which is what she will be called) lied down across those chairs and rested looking up at the sky as she finally spoke. "There's no more room." she said firmly.
Crona got mad. "I wasn't trying to sit down!"
"Then go away.." she said firmly again.
"And what do you mean there's no room? There's thirty twenty chairs and only three of you."
"She's right. There's simply no room." the Hatter finally spoke. (I always imagined that Noah would be voiced by Steve Blum)
Crona looked at him. "...What's wrong with you three? she said a little calmer.
Rather than answer, they went back to ignoring her.
Crona got mad again and began to walk away. As she walked away, a kinder voice spoke to her. "Oh come now. There's plenty of room, take a seat."
Crona turned around and saw the mouse as the one who spoke to her, but he was still sleeping. March then got up and began to walk across the table again, this time to the Dormouse. "What have I told you about talking?" she said angrily.
Once in front of him, March gave the Dormouse a kick to the face but he rose back up still asleep as if nothing happened. March continued to kick the mouse to no avail with Crona staring at them dumbstruck.
"Hehehe, ignore the Dormouse. He's always talking in his sleep." said the Hatter.
Crona looked over to him confused and then looked around at all the smashed teapots. She looked back at the Hatter. "Um, what are you guys doing exactly?"
"Who wants to know?" the Hatter responded with a mad smile.
Crona hesitated to answer thinking that that they would ignore her again if she said anything. "Well that doesn't matter, but I was wondering if you knew the way to the Queen's castle.
"Oh.." he responded. "And just why do you want to go there?"
"Would you believe me if I said I was from another world and that I've been told that the Queen might be the only one capable of telling me a way I can get home?" Crona said bluntly.
"In that case, it's that way down the road." he said pointing to the left.
Crona's eyes widened. "R...REALLY?!"
He nodded. "Yep..."
Crona smiled nervously and began to turn around. "Oh, well thank you..." she found it odd that she got such a simple answer, especially due to how this situation started.
But as Crona turned around, she saw a familiar face that caused her eyes to widen. Walking down the road on the other side of the gate was KID! Crona knew that despite his appearance this person was probably not Kid just like everyone else she's met.
But the urge to call out to him stuck to her until she finally did so. "K-Kid!..."
He did not stop. It was not his name in this world, so Crona tried something else to get his attention. "M...M-Mr. Rabbit..."
His ears twitched and he slowed down turning his head slightly to look at her.
"Um excuse me-" Crona began but was soon cut off by the rabbit.
"Sorry, no time to chat. I am VERY late for a very important meeting." he said hastily as he started to go faster.
"But Kid-I mean, Mr. Rabbit!" Crona would have chased after him but the White Rabbit was soon stopped by something else.
The rabbit stopped when he realized that the other rabbit, March, had a grip on his arm. "Um, HEY, could you let go of-" March then flung the White Rabbit over the gate and crashing into one of the chairs at the table.
"Ow! DAMMIT! What the Hell is your problem!?" he screamed at March, but he gave a look of confusion when he saw no sight of her.
As he looked around, the Hatter rose up from underneath the table and sat in the chair next to him. "Hello."
"Gah! Where did you come from!?"
"My, my, Usagi-san. Why are you in such a hurry?" he grabbed a teapot and began to pour a cup for the White Rabbit. "Here, have some tea."
"You're not even pouring anything..." said the Rabbit noting that the pot was empty.
"Well there's plenty more where that came from." said the dormouse in his sleep.
The Mad Hatter stood up in his chair. "Which means it's time to switch seats!" he exclaimed. And as he exclaimed, he leapt from one chair to another and March kicked the mouse out of his seat in order to sit there herself.
The dormouse's eyes opened and he pulled himself off the ground. He then lazily made his way over to the already agitated White Rabbit and pushed him one chair over. "Excuse me..." he said nonchalantly as the rabbit fell out of the chair.
"Hey!" he shrieked as he hit the floor.
The dormouse then sat in the now open seat and went right back to sleep.
Crona stared at the lot confused as they poured themselves each a cup of tea, which the Hatter poured the White Rabbit a real one this time. He walked over and held it out to the rabbit. "Care for some?" he asked with an eerie grin.
"Get that away from me!" he said knocking the tea and cup to the side to hit the ground.
The Hatter watched as the liquid seeped into the grass and dirt. "Oh well. At least the ground had a nice drink." he then did a back flip and landed back in his chair.
The White Rabbit got off the ground and dusted himself off. "Honestly, I don't have time for this ." he looked at the three who where nonchalantly drinking there tea. "Dammit, I said that if you three caused me anymore trouble that I would make a request to the Queen to have all your heads on pikes."
He then got out his pocket watch. Once he saw the time his eyes widened. "OH DAMMIT!" he yelled realizing that he was later than he thought originally. He turned to the three once more angrily. "Now see what you've done!? If I don't get to the Queen soon, then MY HEAD'S gonna be the one on a pike!"
He held his watch up in front of them. "I'm already nearly an hour late! I don't need to be delayed any further by you clowns!" all of a sudden, the Mad Hatter appeared right next to the rabbit still smiling evilly. He snatched the watch away from him and held it out of his reach eying it closely. "What the!?" the rabbit exclaimed. "Hey! Give that back!"
"Oh yes. This is quite a nice one indeed." said the Hatter.
"If you don't give that back-"
"Oh, March? Your watch broke some time ago, correct . Well here's replacement." he said owing the watch to the other rabbit.
March flicked her hand out and caught the watch in the air. She looked at it for a moment before speaking. "Yeah, this'll probably do." she placed the watch down on the table and reached for a knife and a plate of butter. Then to Crona's confusion and to the White Rabbit's shock, she opened the watch and spread the butter all over it.
The White rabbit was about to scream but March wasn't done yet. She then closed the watch, placed it back on the table, pulled out a hammer, and smashed the small device into 100 pieces causing the White Rabbit to scream. "AAAGGGHHHH! WHAT THE HEL DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?"
"I'm using the watch." March responded casually.
"WELL IF THAT'S HOW YOU USE WATCHES THEN IT'S NO WONDER YOURS BROKE!"
The dormouse lifted his head. "Hey man, relax. You can get another one." he said smiling as if he enjoyed the rabbit's misfortune.
"BUT WHY DID YOU BREAK IT TO BEGIN WITH!?"
"Break what?"
"THE WATCH!"
"What watch?"
"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"
The White Rabbit hastily jumped over the fence that was connected to the gate and ran off faster than they could say fuck.
"Huh!? Hey wait a minute!" she tried to chase after him but was stopped by the three behind her who had jumped basically tackled her. "Hey! What are you doing?!" she said trying to get her legs free.
"You can't leave yet. You just got here." said the Hatter.
"Yeah, and now I would like to leave!"
"But won't you have at least one cup of tea before you go?" he said as they all got up.
Crona stared at him. Rather than arguing, she decided to humor him and get this over with so she could leave. "Fine, but then I'm leaving." she said a little irritated.
"Great!" he then pulled a full cup from nowhere (of course) and held it out to her.
Crona took the cup and quickly drank it so that she could go, but she should have looked at what she was drinking before she took a sip. Her eyes widened, the taste was strong and bitter and was definitely not tea. She spit it out and coughed a little. "cough-Gross-cough-that's not tea." she whined.
"No." said March. "It's booze."
Crona's eye's widened again. "WHAT!"
"What did you think it was?"
"You said it was tea!"
"Who drinks tea anymore...?"
"Then why were you calling it tea!" Crona spat out the remainder of liquor that was still in her mouth but she could still taste it. "Oh man...I'm not even old enough to drink..." she pouted.
The Hatter stepped forward. "Oh sure you are. What are you, 25?"
"I'M SEVENTEEN!" (I don't think they ever actually say Crona's age in t series.)
The three started laughing hysterically, much to her confusion. "Oh my. Aren't you a little old to be drinking underage?" said the Hatter ignoring the fact that he was the one that gave it to her.
"Wha..." Crona said.
"Now that I think about it..." March began. "Aren't you at an age where it's a little odd to be wearing something that frilly around casually."
"Pretty small breasts for someone who's basically fully grown." said the dormouse with a dirty smile.
They continued to laugh at her causing her face to grow very red and she could swear that she could feel small tears in the corners of her eyes. "I WILL CRY!" she shouted finally having enough of the three.
The three grew silent and it stayed silent. Eventually the Mad Hatter walked up and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You may leave if you want. The Queen's castle is that way. He said pointing in the direction that the White rabbit ran of in.
Crona turned around and began to walk of. "Thank you..." she said.
Once she was gone, the dormouse spoke. "She was pretty cute for a girl with small boobs."
"Yep.." said the Hatter. "...Okay, time for more tea."
I'M ALIVE! sorry that this chapter took so long but I was occupied all December and most of January. But now I will be updating regularly again.
Also, I have a friend on this sight named Maxstarscream3000 who is working on his own fanfiction, I encourage people to go read it. It is called blood of the Immortals and is also a soul eater fan fic. The reason I am bringing that up is because I know the dude in real life and his fanfic is a story that we came up with together. So I have his permission to make my own version which might end up being my next story, but it's gonna be awhile. This message will be posted on the next chapter of my other fanfic: Story of Ana (another soul eater story). If you haven't seen that and like this one than go give it a read.
remember to review :D