Winter Walking After a Storm

The winter wind whipped through Toronto, howling like a banshee and nipping at my skin. I shiver and pull my jacket closer around me, adjusting my fur hat to pull it down over my ears. I knew I shouldn't have gone to the mall but Dad wanted me to come for Christmas dinner and subtlety hinted that I needed to have a gift for his new wife. So I'd driven to the mall and spent four hours wandering the halls and the stores wondering what to get for a woman I'd never met and still didn't like. Not only had I left the mall at closing time with nothing for my stepmom but I'd found the truck buried in the snow with everyone else's cars. A quick but harsh snow storm had buried most of downtown and I'd been oblivious to it while shopping, although thinking back I did hear announcements and people talking I was just so caught up in my thoughts I wasn't paying attention. A shuttle arranged by the mall had brought me about six blocks from home to where the snow had mostly been plowed away but I still had to walk six blocks. It was dark, freezing and I was shivering while cursing my father and wishing I was home by the fire when I suddenly heard my name.

"Clare is that you?" Jay's voice startles me and I look over to see him, half leaning out of the doorway to the house I'm currently in front of.

"Hi J…Jay," my teeth chatter out his name as I shiver, how Jay recognized me from inside a house while I was bundled up when he hasn't seen me in three years I have no idea.

"Get in here it's freezing outside!" He orders like I'm still twelve and he's still looking out for me.

I'm much too cold to argue and my teeth are chattering to hard. So I turn and walk up the path and into what I'm assuming is his house. Once I'm over the threshold he removes my coat, hat and scarf. His house is small but very warm, he has a fire going and it's warming the entire living room area. He guides me to the sofa and wraps me in a blanket, then goes into the kitchen and returns with a cup of hot cocoa, handing it to me. The radiating heat from the mug warms my hands and between that, the fire and the blanket I finally stop shivering and my teeth stop chattering. Jay twists his mouth and looks me over; it's a look I've seen in his eyes before it's his disapproving older brother look and I think he still sees me as the skinny 14 year old with glasses. I've always thought Jay was hot but he was much too old for me and I knew I was not his type. Last I'd heard he was engaged to Manny and moving to Los Angeles, I actually feel a little hurt that he's been here and hasn't tried to get in touch with me.

"I can't believe you recognized me when I was bundled up, you haven't seen me since I was 14 and I've changed quite a bit." I point out saying something to fill the silence and then sipping at my cocoa.

"Yes you have but I've seen you in the last few years you just weren't aware of it." Jay tells me, I look up from my cocoa to blink at him in confusion and he grins.

I've always loved his grin it was one of the few things that would soften his normally hard expressions and crack through that shell that he was a tough bad boy. Most people only saw one side of Jay, the mean tough guy but I saw another side to him, a sweet caring side. The side that would teach a twelve year old pool, take her to a club and sneak her in and scare off any guy that looked at her. The side that would stay up late and listen to me whine about Darcy's drama and my parents ignoring me because of it.

"I haven't seen you since I was fourteen at Spinner and Emma's wedding," I remind him.

"I didn't say you've seen me I said I've seen you, I've been…spying on you since I moved back a year and a half ago." He tells me.

"Spying on me? Wait what happened between you and Manny? I thought you two were engaged?" I question.

"We were, she fell for a co-star and broke up with me, then she got fired from the show a couple months later and hasn't worked since. Serves her right that cheating bitch!" Jay grumbles and I can tell this is still a sore subject for him.

"Well why didn't you come and see me or something when you got back? I didn't even know you'd moved," I tell him.

"I thought about it, you're about the only person still in town that I know, except Alex but…" his sentence drifts off and he makes a face. "Anyway I got back and saw you at DeGrassi one day; if not for those eyes of yours I'd never have known it was you. You weren't a little girl anymore you'd grown up and you were gorgeous, confident and with your own life. I didn't think you needed me hanging around, actually I thought about it when I saw that Eli guy hitting on you but Mr. Simpson told me I had to let you grow up so I kept my distance, I have however been around. I've been watching and looking out for you this whole time you just didn't know it so you see I have seen you." Jay informs me.

"What do you mean you've been looking out for me?" I question finishing my cocoa and setting the mug on the side table behind me.

"I had a spy in the school and I've been around, when Eli kissed you and then ignored you I paid a visit to his house and told him if he broke your heart I'd break his face." Jay enlightens me and my eyes go wide, although that does explain why he finally talked. "I told Fitz he better behave himself on Vegas night, he would have to had Eli not poisoned him. When Fitz got out of juvie and went to your house I had to pay him another visit and tell him to stay away from you, and he has. When Eli was hoarding and was mean to you I paid him a visit again. After Jake left you at prom I found him at the cabin to have a chat. Wh…"

"Hold it!" I exclaim cutting him off. "So you've been threatening every guy that's ever hurt me for the last three years?" I question and he nods. "And Mr. Simpson has been telling you…wait Mr. Simpson doesn't know half of this stuff. What spy did you have at DeGrassi?" I inquire; as I'm beginning to warm up I take off the blanket.

"Owen," Jay replies simply to my question.

"Owen Milligan?!" I query as I cannot think of another person named Owen at all.

"Yep," Jay nods.

"But I don't even know Owen, I mean we've barely even acknowledged each other and he doesn't even go to DeGrassi anymore, he's at University now." I state.

"Yeah but he goes to U of T and lives at home still and the fact you barely know him makes him the perfect spy. You'd never suspect he was gathering and feeding me information. We hung out with similar circles and I knew I could trust him." Jay tells me.

"But we…I mean Owen doesn't pay any attention to what I do, he's never cared who I dated or anything." I remark.

"Not true in fact he's threatened Eli and Jake a couple of times himself, he even punched K.C. after he left you for Jenna. Of course Owen kept his distance too and knew if he ever hit on you or anything that I'd kill him." Jay says.

"So you've been following my life this whole time? Do you know about Asher then?" I ask and Jay's face goes hard, his eyes narrowing.

"Yeah I heard, Dallas told Drew and Drew told Owen or I might not have. Owen took care of the fact that Dallas got you tipsy with beer at school, kissed you and wrecked your party while I paid a visit to Asher. I broke his knee cap and three of his fingers, it was weeks before he could walk or type again and I told him I'd do worse if he ever thought about you again." Jay says with a tight jaw and narrowed eyes.

"I can't believe you've been a secret guardian angel this whole time and never said anything! I had cancer this summer it would have been nice to see you!" I admonish him lightly.

"I know Adam and Drew have been unwittingly feeding information to Owen. You didn't know it but I stayed at the hospital every night and watched you sleep. I'd be there just in case something happened. You were too drugged out to even notice I was there but I was there. I would come after midnight when Eli left and stay until six when I had to get to work." Jay says and my heart skips a beat before it starts racing. He spent six weeks watching me sleep in a hospital bed to make sure I was okay. "When I found out Eli had cheated on you I went to New York to pay him a visit. I broke his nose and he lost two of his permanent teeth. I also scared him away from ever speaking to you again; of course you'd already broken up with him."

I don't know what came over me exactly but I put my hand on his shoulder, lean over and capture his lips. Part of me expects him to turn away, push me away and call me a little kid. He does exactly the opposite though he leans into the kiss deepening it and parting his lips, his hand behind my head, the other on my hip. His body moves closer to mine, his tongue sliding across my bottom lip requesting access and I grant it. His tongue goes in, warm, strong and he tastes sweet. I lean back and he leans with me, the world has disappeared, there is nothing but he and I locked in a passionate kiss. We don't pull apart until the power goes off and all that remains is the fire and our lips heated by the kiss.

"Sorry I…"

I start to apologize for the outburst of emotion certain that he sees me as a child still, a sisterly type figure for him to look after. However he cuts me off by placing his lips on mine again, I melt into the kiss immediately and part my lips for him. That's as far as we go that night, just kissing but it's the most passionate and wonderful kisses of my life. The power never comes back on that night but I never even notice, falling asleep on the sofa wrapped in his arms.

"I guess I should get you home," Jay says when we wake up the next morning.

I watch the dying embers of the once roaring fire and sigh ruefully, I don't want to go home, and I don't want to leave his arms.

"My parents are visiting my stepbrother; I was supposed to go to my dad's for Christmas dinner." I remark wishing to stay in his arms seeing as it's Christmas Eve and this seems like a good Christmas to me.

"I'm going to the Michalchuk's today for Christmas Eve dinner, so what were you going to do today and tomorrow morning?" Jay asks.

"I was just gonna show up at Adam's, they're like family and Audra would let me stay. Wait the Michalchuk's as in Paige? Are you and she…"

He stops my question by taking my lips again, which really wasn't an answer but I melt into the kiss.

"Just friends, barely that but she's in town and knew I was going to be alone and invited me over. I think she felt sorry for me, come on if the power is still out here then it's probably out at your house. Bundle up and I'll take you to Adam's," Jay tells me. I sigh not wanting to leave him, or his arms, being with Jay feels so right and now he wants me to leave. "Tony is having a New Year's Eve party do you want to go with me?" Jay questions once I'm bundled up again.

"You mean like a date?" I ask hopefully.

"Yes I mean as my date," he grins.

I smile and kiss him in response; the crews were out early this morning and cleared the streets so at least we can drive to casa Torres. Dallas is back in Guelph with his family but the rest of the Torres family is here. They aren't expecting me but I know I'm always welcome. Jay gets out of the car with me and I ring the doorbell, Drew answers looks at Jay with a cocked eyebrow and cautious look before smiling at me and pulling me into the house.

"Clare's here," he calls into the house and Jay follows us inside.

"Clare sweetie oh thank goodness we've been trying to get a hold of you for hours but the storm last night knocked out the power. We went by your house but no one was home and the cars were gone. I called Office Turner and sent him out looking for you, Omar call Turner and tell him she's here." Audra says hugging me tightly.

"Sorry my car got snowed in at the mall, this is my…this is Jay I stayed it at his pace last night." I tell them as Drew and Adam both eye Jay closely.

"Thanks for taking care of her Jay. Clare's parents won't be back for a few days so we'll keep her here until her parents get home. We have a generator so we can't lose power," Audra informs him.

"Good so I'll call you in a couple of days to firm up those plans for New Year's Clare," Jay says walking to the door.

"You never got my number," I remind him in a whisper as I walk him to the door.

"I've had your number this whole time," he grins tips my chin up and gives me a quick kiss before going through the door.

"Mom we'll be in the basement," Drew says as each of the brother's grabs my arms and starts pulling me to the basement.

Audra nods and we go down to the basement, I sit on the sofa between them and they are both gaping at me.

"You have some explaining to do," Adam tells me.

"Speaking of explaining, Drew can you call Owen he also has some explaining to do."