i just realized that my word count for this version is already much higher than the original and this scares me.
the original park chapters are going to be compiled into two chapters. i'm doing this for my sanity, forgive me.
also, i have a important, maybe not little note at the bottom if you guys read these notes anyway. i don't know.
enjoy.
"I just wanna run, hide it away.
Run, because they're chasing me down.
I just wanna run, throw it away.
Run, before they're finding me out."
- I Just Wanna Run, The Downtown Fiction.
The rest of the week progressed rather slowly, creeping along and mocking them as it turned into the weekend. It had been painful for both boys as they fought tooth and nail to ignore the other's presence and, in Mello's words, lie low.
Matt did most of the ignoring; he kept his promise when he became another speck on the wall. He pushed his small group of friends away, opting to lone-wolf it and do things that, in the long run, wouldn't remind him of Mello. It had been difficult, but he managed somehow.
When he first approached his new resolve he had been wary, afraid to move on from what he knew and had grown accustomed to. The redhead was scared that he'd run into Mello at every corner, which would send him into a downward spiral of tears. Matt was afraid that he would have to feel the wrath of Light; because he knew that the auburn haired teen would try to blame him for Mello's sudden interest in his sister, if he knew about it. That brought up another thing he really didn't want to witness - anything that had to do with the pretend relationship of his ex and his new flame. Matt wasn't ready for that; in fact, he wanted to disappear.
It had gotten so bad that he even tried convincing himself to ask his dad to move back to their old city. The idea that he'd be within the radius of his abusive brother didn't sit well, but that was all he had. Not that his dad would go for it, seeing that Matt never asked him for anything and he'd think that his youngest son was just playing around.
Did Matt's crestfallen face look like it was joking?
After he got over the hurdle of having to see Mello more than he wanted, he realized that things weren't as hard as he thought they would've been. He found alternate routes to and from his classes or lunch, he avoided bathrooms and rooms that he knew Mello frequented, he also kept his head down and pointedly ignored the calls from his former friends. They'd have question and he didn't have answers.
As the week continued they paid less attention to each other and Saturday stumbled upon them like a drunken whore leaving a brothel. This wasn't a bad thing; it was actually a welcomed event. Matt looked forward to laying in bed day catching up on the video games he'd neglected in favor of his failure relationship. Matt was more than ready to pub-stomp and own bitches.
However, the same couldn't have been said for Mello.
In the middle of a steamy dream and at the crack of dawn, his mother shot into his room like a bullet, slamming the door against the wall and ordering Mello to wake up so that he could be ready for her seminar later that morning. She explained to him, while he tried to hide a very embarrassing morning wood, that she was helping out at the homeless shelter. This really meant that she was going to pass judgement and attempt to preach the holy word to a group of people that had lost faith in pretty much everything. Mello didn't understand where she got off sometimes and he thought it wise to not ask her.
"Mello, seriously!" she shouted, grabbing the blanket covering his body and yanking it off the bed. The blond blinked and drew his legs up to his chest, looking at her as if she'd finally reached her breaking point. It was possible, he assumed, as he halfheartedly listened to her recite irrelevant bible verses, claiming that in order for Mello to live his life the right way he needed to pick one verse a day and study it until memorized.
Mello didn't understand how this would get him into Heaven.
"Mello, are you even listening to me?" his mother asked with her hands firmly planted on her hips.
"Uh, sure." he started, coughing and adding a quick, "I mean, yes ma'am."
"You're lying and that's a sin. Do you know what happens to people when they sin?" she inquired, her right eye twitching. Mello nodded unenthusiastically.
"What happens?"
"They go to hell," he muttered, having heard her 'sinners go to hell' speech more times than he could remember. He sat up when his problem vanished and stared blankly at her, watching her lips form words but not hearing them.
It hadn't been more than five minutes later that the blond found himself being pulled back to reality when his mother finished her tirade with a low, "how did I have such a sinful child? First he thinks he's homosexual and then he's lying. Where did I go wrong?"
Mello wanted to ask her, being the smart ass that he is, how she ended up with him. Maybe then she'd realize that her words hurt more than he wanted them to.
His mother continued to look at him, waiting for him to get out bed. When she realized that he wasn't going to be helping her she stormed out of the room, sputtering some nonsense about getting his father so that he could handle Mello's attitude. Mello was, according to his maternal unit, a nuisance that needed to be dealt with accordingly.
She thought his father knew how to handle him? Pfft, he stopped wanting anything to with Mello after he became old enough to do things for himself.
Matt couldn't remember the last time he'd slept past noon, if the position of the sun was anything to go by. It would start getting dark soon, he realized with a groan. He really had no intentions of sleeping the day away, but the deed had been done. What was a guy to do?
Green eyes stared at the ceiling, looking for some kind of entertainment that the pale coating of paint would never offer. Matt hated the period of time between first waking up and actually waking up. It bothered him; most of the time he was confused and then considering his options on what to do when he finally got out of bed.
Groaning in annoyance, he rubbed the sleep away and sat up.
His original plans for the day were ruined, he noted with a sigh. Not that he really felt like sticking with an agenda. Maybe that's why he could never seem to come through on time with things that didn't involve Mello or the video games that he had been getting reacquainted with.
However, the redhead had no desire to log onto any of his consoles or boot up his PC. This was partially because the people he normally played with wouldn't start getting on to play until later that night. That left him with an unfortunate amount of time to spare and nothing to do.
He could lay in bed and twiddle his thumbs while he considered all the possibilities, jumping from one thought to the other like a pianist abusing his instrument. Matt could literally hear his ideas forming music in his head and he wasn't sure if that was normal on not.
Gaming had already been crossed off his mental list and he no longer felt like sleeping. He figured he could always leave the comfort of his home in search of something to do, but then he would potentially harm himself by being out in the sun. Matt enjoyed being a ghost, thank you very much.
Matt could always trek over to the mall, which housed a bomb arcade. Though, that particular arcade held memories that he wasn't - didn't think he'd ever - be ready to relive. It had been in that obnoxiously loud place that Mello found him after they'd left each other that horrible Sunday morning; one sullenly waiting for the elevator to descend down to the lobby and the other walking through the electric doors. Both boys absolutely hated how the hotel had their elevators made out of glass... they made the ordeal harder than it should have been.
Matt frowned and kicked the blanket off, regretting his decision immediately as a shiver crashed through him. He stood, stretching and releasing a pleasured sigh as his spine cracked, relieving him of the pressure that had built up from sleeping. He still needed something to do.
Video games, sleep, and the mall were obviously not happening. He didn't feel like lazing around and watching television until bed and the homework that had been sent home was already finished. Fuck, he was bored.
In his boredom, Matt decided that he wouldn't get over Mello by refusing to visit the spots that meant a lot to him, so he settled on a trip to the park. Namely, he wanted to go back just to laugh at his own inside joke when he saw people sitting or playing on things that he and Mello had screwed on.
If asked, however, he would say that he wanted to go to the park because the serene nature provided the essentials when it came to forgetting and ridding himself of his negative thoughts. But, ah, nobody would buy that excuse. Now, if only Matt had paid attention to the sinking feeling in his gut when he darted out the door.
Mello folded, unfolded, and refolded Matt's note before he finally felt satisfied and slid it back into its hidden spot on his carrier bag; he was hiding it from a certain somebody that he knew would search his bag when he wasn't around. A part of the blond vaguely wished that he hadn't remembered the note, because then he wouldn't have read for the third time. What made it worse was that it had been read before he was supposed to go out. Then again, Mello figured he needed something to keep his day going. There was nothing better than reading a note from the loved one he'd been banned from seeing.
Pulling the strap over his head, he situated the bag so that it rested against his left hip. Mello sighed heavily, not looking forward to spending the day with the Yagami family. The only good thing about this little adventure would be getting to see Sayu, his friend turned very distant acquaintance turned girlfriend. She would provide him with the laughs he needed and the comfort he sought. Or, so he hoped.
This was also the opportune moment to break Light's bubble and announce to him, and their parents, that he asked Sayu out and she accepted. Okay, so there had actually been two reasons to enjoy the day.
"I'm leaving," he shouted, letting his father know that he was going out, though he knew the man didn't care.
The moment he opened the door his eyes found Light's car and they rolled. Leave it to Light to make an appearance in a car that probably cost more than his college education would. He often wondered what he could spend Light's money on, but he dismissed those thoughts as soon as they fronted. No amount of money was worth anything if he didn't have Matt beside him to spend it. Though, he was sure he would lavish the redhead if he had come into a random fortune or won the lottery.
Mello could hear soft music playing, but he knew that it wasn't nearly as gentle as it sounded. Light had atrocious taste in music, he learned.
"Hurry up!" Light yelled from his car as he rolled the window halfway down.
"Ever the patient one," Mello mused, wondering how Light would feel if he slowed down.
When he finally reached the car he smirked, inwardly chuckling at Light as the older teen glared at him. Mello opened the door and slid down into the passenger seat, wincing at the music as it assaulted his eardrums. A person that looked like Light - that actually had class - would be found listening to the sounds of Beethoven, Mendelssohn, Mozart, or even something that would be classified as indie, but not Light himself. On the contrary, he loathed it. He couldn't stand to listen to anything that had actual talent, instead he downplayed himself with copious amounts of ridiculous lyrics. For example,
Throw it up, motherfucker, throw it up.
Is that yo chain? 'bout twenty fo' inches is how low I let it hang.
Party like a rock star, party like a rock star.
Move, move, shake, shake, now drop what your momma said.
And, not forgetting the ever classy,
I'ma beat that pussy up 'til you holla that's enough.
First off, the blond wanted to know what he was throwing up. The idea of throwing anything up didn't sound appealing, unless he was able to soil the inside of Light's car and then ask to be taken home.
Secondly, no that was not a chain. In fact, Mello didn't own a chain.
On a third note, he was most definitely not a rock star. He wouldn't mind partying like one, though.
What made Mello laugh to himself was the fact that Light knew the majority of the words to each song that played. He honestly hoped that the auburn haired teen didn't really think he was this amazing rapper, because he was far from it.
Also, what was Mello supposed to be moving, shaking, and dropping?
To continue - and finish - his mental mantra, Mello almost snorted when Light, quite proudly, stated that he was gonna beat that pussy up. Oh, the irony.
Mello never did understand the appeal or the logic behind hip hop or any of the sub genres. It never made sense to him, though he couldn't deny that he liked the beats from time to time. Instead of paying any attention to whatever Light had started going on about, Mello pondered over the meaning of rap and why so many people were fond of it.
"Light," a woman's voice rang out from a clearing underneath a canopy of trees, using one hand to wave at him.
Light nodded in acknowledgment as he wrapped an arm around Mello, pulling him close. Mello cringed at the unexpected contact. Inwardly, he made a face at him - sticking his tongue out and giving him the bird. If only he had the courage to do that to his face. He'd just have to wait for Sayu to speak up, if she would.
"Mother," Light said once they reached his family, and Mello nearly had a heart attack at the sickeningly sweet tone in his voice. He had resigned himself to never hearing the other boy sounding like he wasn't royally pissed, as that was how he normally spoke to him. Mello, apparently, brought out the bad side of Light; he thought he was supposed to bring out of the good side.
Sachiko smiled warmly at her son as she motioned towards the ground for both him and Mello to sit. Mello didn't want to take a seat - or, rather, patch of grass - around the neatly set up area. He actually wanted to leave, find Matt, and try to repair his broken heart.
"So, Mello," Soichiro began, his eyes locking on the blond as if he were prey, "how are your parents?"
Blinking at the unexpected question, Mello shrugged lightly before answering, "they're fine."
Oh, they were - or they would be once he told them that he'd realized the errors of his ways and that he was actually interested in Sayu. Their lives were pretty much being handed to them, money and all. Mello wondered if that's all his parents wanted from him, a free ride.
"Just fine? Well, that's good to hear." Soichiro stated, shaking his head at the apathetic response. "Light, how's school been? Any more problems from that one kid?"
"School is school, as to be expected, father. Nothing out of the ordinary," Light spoke sharply. "He's still a nuisance, yes, and he's still getting in my way, but I believe that he'll start to see things differently in a couple days."
Mello could hear the clipped tone in his voice, the one tone that Light used when talking to or about Matt. He knew they were talking about his ex-boyfriend and he grimaced, wondering what Light had up to his sleeve. Not that it would matter considering that when he came out about his relationship with Sayu things would be different. Light wouldn't dare hurt his little sister.
"I see," was all that fell from the elder man's lips.
A thick blanket of silence washed over the group as birds chirped happily in the background; well, the ones that hadn't started migrating towards warmer climates for the winter. Children laughed manically, giggling over this and that, and shouting about a ball that had been kicked too far. Parents were chattering among themselves, discussing plans for sleepovers, autumn trips, and the holidays that were fast approaching. Mello believed that somewhere in there he heard someone groan about work.
Mello paid little attention to what was going on around him. There was nothing great enough to distract him from the fact that he was sitting in a park with Light and his family.
Light shifted his body towards the blond, his pinky finger brushing against Mello's hand as he laughed at something his mother said. It was definitely fake - Light didn't laugh. The close proximity between them made Mello uncomfortable, and when he looked at Sayu, he could tell that it made her mad. She stared at Mello, a burning annoyance in her eyes as her once best friend - current, who care's if he's a fake boyfriend - got cozy with her lunatic brother. Mello couldn't tell if she was legitimately angered at Mello for not telling anyone about them or not. In reality, while she had no romantic connection to the blond, she still felt that Mello was betraying Matt. The only reason she agreed to date him was so they could see each other.
Mello was aware that he was weaving a dangerous web and he didn't know how to stop. Sayu looked like she was ready to open her mouth and Light wouldn't stop trying to get closer. The blond didn't want to push him off, because he knew that Light would get angry with him and probably go off the deep end. He didn't wanted to ruin their family picnic.
On the other hand, he could easily ruin it by changing positions and going to sit beside Sayu, which he did. Mello pulled away from Light, shaking his head slightly and watching Sayu as her eyes widened when she realized what Mello was doing. It wasn't so much the fact that he ignored Light's touches, but that he'd done it by getting up to sit beside her, lacing their fingers together for Light and their parents to see.
"What's this about?" Light asked, narrowing his eyes.
"What are you talking about?" Mello questioned.
"You're with me," he seethed; their parents immediately getting the hint that this wasn't something they wanted to deal with. Mello watched, disinterested, as they both got up and walked away. "You're mine."
"No," Sayu chimed in. "He's with me. You never asked him out, Light."
Mello nodded, smirking to himself and tightening the hold on Sayu's hand.
"I claimed him first," Light said slowly.
"I'm not something you can claim," Mello spoke up. "You hinted around wanting me, but you didn't actually ask me out or tell me that we were together. What was I supposed to think? Plus, I think your sisters hot."
Mello looked back at Sayu, a light pink dusting her cheeks, as he placed a small kiss to her lips. He could feel Light's eyes on him and he would've been lying if he said that didn't excite him.
"Okay," Light told them. "If this is the game we're playing."
"A game?" Sayu inquired. "Why can't you accept that Mello asked me out and that I actually like him?"
"I won't have you two together, Sayu."
"You really don't have much say in the matter," Mello said, cheering himself for his new-found confidence.
Light rolled his eyes and the blond noticed a spark in them. The older teen was in the early stages of plotting something and he didn't know what. Mello hoped that he wasn't the kind of person that would go after his own family for something he wanted.
Was Light crazy enough to hurt his sister?
Mello couldn't say how much time passed between them, but...
"So, Light," Sayu piped in, breaking Mello out of his stupor. "What do you plan on doing to Matt?"
"What does it matter?"
"He's my friend," she stated, "and you're not going to do anything to him."
"Oh? I'm not? Whose going to stop me?" Light taunted.
"Mello," she nodded towards the blond.
"What?" he squeaked.
"You'll stick up for Matt, right? I mean, you have to. You guys have been through so much," she said softly - hopefully. "For me?"
"Sayu, I..."
Would he stick up for Matt when Light decided to go after him? Would he be there for the redhead when his world came crashing down? Hell, would he be there to stop Light from taking his rage out of Sayu?
"I... I don't know."
"You don't know?" she nearly shouted, shocked with Mello's confession. "He's my friend, your ex, and you don't know?"
"Leave him alone, Sayu," her bother demanded.
"No, if Mello likes me as much as he says he does," she spat, tearing her hand from Mello's grip. Mello pondered the empty feeling that settled on him at the loss of contact. "He'll do this for me."
"..."
"See, he doesn't like you." Light pointed out. "He's too much of a coward to stick up for your friend."
"I'll stop you," Mello interjected, glaring up at Light. "Matt means a lot to your sister and I'm not going to let you hurt him."
Mello didn't know if he was trying to convince himself that he would protect Matt for the sake of Sayu or if he would do because he loved him.
"Ha,"
"Leave Matt alone," Sayu instructed. "He's done nothing to you."
Mello stopped listening to them argue about how loyal and devoted he was when it came to his new relationship. He was too caught up in 'what if' scenarios involving Light and every person that tried - and succeeded - in taking the blond away. Each outcome weighed on his heart. He was digging himself a deeper hole and he knew he wouldn't be able to climb out.
Light's parents had come back, smiling and talking to one another as they sat back in their respected spots. Their children continued to bicker and Mello felt invisible. He watched the family before him as he thought about how his parents would take the change in Mello. About Matt and Sayu's safety. About how low Light would go to obtain the blond.
The park began to close in on him; the trees drawing nearer, the laughter from kids playing was fading, the words of their parents mocking him. It was getting hard to breathe.
A one-sided argument was all he could hear as Light verbally battled Sayu in attempt to make her realize that Mello didn't want her and wouldn't stop him from going after Matt. The blond wished that was able to hear what Sayu was saying, but he couldn't and damn it all. Why hadn't he learned how to read to lips?
Mello needed out; he had to escape. Or, at the very least, try to get away.
Anything was better than sitting around a plain old blanket with the Yagami family in a portion of the park that wanted to devour him. Only, how was he supposed to go about leaving the 'nice family gathering'? It came to his attention that Light would probably run after him if he just got up and started walking off. Hell, Light would tackle him and drag his limp body back to their happy picnic. The blond blanched at the thought of having to endure more of the outing.
"You don't know anything," Sayu said heatedly. "Mello likes me and he won't let you hurt my friends, Light!"
"I'm sure," Light chuckled. "When you come home crying because he decided that he didn't want you anymore I don't want to hear it."
"Mello wouldn't do that to me!" she screamed, lifting a hand and bringing it across Light's face before she could catch herself.
A faint gasp came from their mother, who was practically sitting in their father's lap and watching the fight between the bitter siblings. She had hit her brother. Mello didn't know she'd been so close to Light.
Mello wound his arms around her waist, pulling her lithe body back towards him. She followed him, sitting down on her knees. She was breathing heavily, shaking as she held onto the blond. Light blinked several times, the hand print was angry, though fading.
"He'll break your fucking heart," Light spat.
Mello wouldn't break anything. She had gone into their relationship knowing that he was using her. In fact, she decided that she wanted to set their dates up so that Mello could see Matt.
"I'd rather him break mine than you break his," she retorted. Mello was thankful that she played the girlfriend part well.
"Pfft,"
"Get over yourself,"
"Stop playing pretend."
That one sentence hit Mello hard and he turned to look at Sayu, eyes pleading. She nodded in consent, patting the hand he had resting against her thigh. She knew he wanted to leave and she was allowing it. Mello reminded himself to thank her the next time they talked.
"Pret-" and that was all she wrote.
Mello pushed himself up to his feet and darted off, not bothering to look back as they continued to scream and shout at one another. His legs felt like they were on fire, as he never liked running, but that didn't keep him from going until he thought he was safe enough.
It was quiet; the silence was refreshing. Mello had grown tired of the verbal battle between his girlfriend and her brother, but more so, he was tired of the internal battle he had been dealing with when he realized that Light wouldn't hesitate to hurt Sayu as well. He knew that the auburn teenager would try for Matt, but the way he looked at his sister like she was the competition he had to remove... that was unsettling.
He would've been fine if Sayu hadn't asked him if he'd keep Light from going after the redhead. All it had taken was that one little question to jump start his mind. One simple little question to get him thinking about the people he was putting in harm's way. He hadn't intended for things to play out the way they were; he didn't think that he was worth it.
Not now, not ever.
Stumbling over a root sticking up from the ground, the blond found himself happening upon an old swing set. The once white paint was chipped and the metal underneath was rusted, leaving barely anything to the imagination. It appeared to have been abandoned; forgotten along with the rest of the park that was out of view from the road. There was no sand beneath his his feet to make stopping himself easier when he wanted to stop swinging and there was no indication that there had ever been any other play equipment around. Mello wanted to know why someone would place a swing set in such a random location.
Mello took residence on one of the six swings, pushing his body back and forth as his watched the ground move. Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes, and he knew that he'd fail if he tried to stop them. Closing his eyes, he focused all his weight on one of the swing, his right cheek pressed against the rusting chain.
A light pressure was felt, which caused Mello to cease his childish action and stare blankly ahead as he came to a stop, the heels of his shoes digging into the ground. He began to panic, cursing himself for so being stupid and allowing himself to think he'd gotten away from Light. He should have known that an old swing set would be a bad idea, as it was incredibly hard to miss a person swinging - especially a teenage male.
"Ligh-" Mello started, voice trembling.
"Who?" an unfamiliar voice questioned and Mello's curiosity piqued.
"... you are?" Mello asked as he turned to face the intruder.
"That's rude," the young man said, tilting his head to the side as Mello narrowed his eyes.
"Who are you to call me rude?"
"A person that watched the confrontation between you and your friends," he explained, running his thumb along his bottom lip thoughtfully.
Mello arched an eyebrow, opening his mouth to speak. Had he seen it all?
i'm vaguely aware of what i'm going to do with L since i changed things up with Sayu, but i do know that have four against one works out better.
important note thing:
i read a story on here last night and the author kept getting her panties in a bunch when people would try to tell her that she needed to go back and edit her chapters or that she had no idea what she was talking about and that her plot hadn't been well thought out. it got me thinking. i want an honest opinion. i don't, or didn't, plan my stories out and i would, sometimes still do, write as i go along. do you think this is a bad way to go about writing? i mean, the way this girl reacted made me seriously think about how i write. do my stories feel not thought out? am i mean to you guys? are my characters okay? i feel like the longer i make a story the worse it gets.
end whatever that shit was.
i apologize for that. ANYWAAAAAAAAAY. time to start working on otakon cosplay! :D
review, please. thank you.
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