a/n: Thank you so much for the reviews and favorites! Anyway, I'm trying to capture these characters as best I can, but it is DIFFICULT. Please let me know what you think.

Building A Better Girlfriend

Chapter 2

Both Sheldon and his roommate stared straight ahead as Leonard drove Sheldon home.

"You know, when you said that you were gonna have an impromptu date night with Amy, I thought you would be gone for more than twenty minutes," Leonard pointed out.

Sheldon folded his arms across his chest and looked out of his window. "Yes, but I didn't take into account one very important thing."

"And what's that?"

"Women are completely illogical," Sheldon told him.

Leonard furrowed his brow, but kept his eyes on the road. "Wanna talk ab–?"

Before the shorter physicist could even complete his question, Sheldon went on. "I wasted precious hours of my time figuring out a solution to our problem with intimacy and she dismissed my proposal like it was nothing."

Leonard glanced over at Sheldon with a confused expression. "She turned you down?"

"Obviously or we would be continuing our date night," Sheldon told him. "I cannot understand why she was so upset about it. I was sure it was what she wanted."

"I can't believe she would actually say no when she's been looking forward to sleeping with you for so long," Leonard murmured, but it was loud enough to be heard.

Sheldon finally looked at Leonard and turned up his nose. "Sleeping with me? No, no, no. I didn't offer anything like that. I offered to pay for a male escort for her."

Leonard slammed on breaks in the middle of the road–thankfully no one was behind them–and he looked at Sheldon, astounded.

"You nearly killed us both! I can't believe I let you drive me around town!" Sheldon shouted.

"You offered her a gigolo?"

"Please take more care as to how you drive. You could have thrown me through the windshield."

"I should throw you through the windshield myself! You just offered your girlfriend a male prostitute!" Leonard exclaimed.

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Yes. One of her choosing. There were pictures."

The car just sat in the middle of the road while Leonard tried to process what his friend was telling him. "I can't believe you would even suggest something so asinine. You were jealous when she was dating Stuart and when I took her to a wedding. How do you plan to deal with the fact that she'd be having sex with some other man?"

Sheldon was about to say something, but he stopped to think for a moment.

Leonard nodded. "Yeah. Consider that." He finally started driving again.

"Sheldon Cooper does not get jealous," Sheldon finally said.

...back at their apartment...

Sheldon's Log: Modifying Amy's behavior may prove more difficult than I previously anticipated. The promise of a discussion of intimacy was enough to get her away from her friends for one day, but if my assertion that sex works better than chocolate to modify behavior is indeed false, then perhaps I should consider an alternative. Who am I kidding? I don't make assertions. That was a valid conclusion based on an observation. Assuming that a homo sapien such as Leonard could be compared to a 'near' homo novus such as Amy was merely an oversight.

Negative reinforcement, however, may be a better approach. So, what could be used as negative reinforcement for when Amy wants to spend time with Penny and Bernadette?

Sheldon leaned back in his chair. (What I need is a taser,) he thought.

The Skype tone on Sheldon's phone wrested him from his pondering. "Amy?" he asked himself once he saw who was calling. He was sure that since she'd kicked him out of her apartment that she wouldn't want to talk to him again for some time. Once again her moth-like personality was drawn to the undeniable flame that was Sheldon Cooper.

"Hello, Dr. Fowler. To what to do I owe the pleasure of your call?" Sheldon asked.

"Hello, Dr. Cooper," Amy greeted with a very serious expression. "I did some thinking since you left and I've been told that I acted too rashly."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "You've 'been told'? Let me guess. This was the 'expert' opinion of Penny and Bernadette, correct?"

Amy nodded.

"Well, they happen to be right. Though I must say that I don't approve of your giving out details of our date night, especially to those two," Sheldon told her.

Amy sighed and glared at him through the tiny screen on his phone. "I was calling to apologize."

"You are forgiven." It surprised him that he'd forgiven her so quickly.

"And to accept your offer."

Sheldon fell silent, the bridge of his nose up to his hair follicles growing cold with what could only be described as dread. He wasn't sure why, though. He'd wanted her to have the intimacy she desired. And for him not to be involved in said intimacy was an added bonus. Not only that, but he could also schedule her meetings with this stranger on Amy's girls' nights, thus neutralizing his initial conundrum. The logic of the situation was perfect.

Yet, for some reason he was getting a weird feeling in his stomach. Indigestion, perhaps? The upper half of his head still felt all but frozen. Some strange variety of fever, possibly? And he felt the sudden urge to leave the apartment and run a marathon through the streets of Pasadena. Sudden onset mania?

Case in point: He was ill and should seek immediate medical attention.

"Alright," Sheldon finally said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to have Leonard take me to the hospital."

There was a look of what he assumed to be concern on Amy's face. "Are you okay?"

Sheldon sighed. "It was probably just something I ate."

"Then I should come over and take care of you," Amy pointed out.

Sheldon chuckled weakly. "While the Relationship Agreement does state that we should take care of each other when we are sick, you are not a licensed physician and what I need right now is a thorough examination. Possibly a CT scan."

"Just because of something you ate?"

"Yes. I'll keep you updated," Sheldon said. Before she had a chance to object, he ended the transmission.

...moments later...

"Leonard, I am unwell. I need you to take me to the hospital," Sheldon said when he came out of his bedroom and found Leonard sitting on the couch playing Dishonored.

"Hospital?" Leonard asked, pausing the game. "This isn't like your appendicitis that just turned out to be gas, is it? Because to be honest, you look and sound better now than you did then."

Sheldon stopped his trip toward the door and took a deep breath. "Curious. The symptoms have died down a bit. But it never hurts to be certain. Let's go."

"Sheldon, I'm not taking you to the hospital if you're not hurt or sick."

"I'm telling you there was something very disturbing about my symptoms a moment ago. It all happened so suddenly, I'm not sure if it'll happen again," Sheldon told him.

"If what will happen again?" his roommate asked.

"Well, I was talking to Amy and then suddenly everything from my nose up felt cold, my stomach did the wave and I considered going outside after dark," Sheldon explained.

"Diagnosis: You're crazy," Leonard said, going back to his game.

"I am not crazy. My mother had me tested," Sheldon reminded him.

Leonard put a halt to his game again and looked at Sheldon. "Wait. You were talking to Amy?"

"Yes."

"What about?"

"She called to apologize."

Leonard squinted his eyes. "That was unexpected. I was sure she'd be mad at you for at least a month."

"Oh, Leonard. She and I are above holding grudges." That wasn't entirely true. "So much so that she accepted my offer for–" Sheldon stopped mid sentence and felt his insides making flippy floppy. "There it is again."

"Oh my God! She said yes?" Leonard asked.

"Yes. Now can we go to the hospital? For all I know I could be playing host to an alien parasite," Sheldon said.

Leonard sighed, shook his head and went back to playing his game. "No, you're not."

...to be continued...?

a/n: Yes, this just ended in the middle of a conversation. Sorry if this chapter wasn't interesting. Let me know if I should continue.