AN: Hey! Double update this week (this seems to be a pattern) the road trip will end next chapter so I think it might stay in Tasha's pov or maybe Steve or Bruce. Preferences? Also. Sorry Bucky's kind of stealing the show. I just love him. A lot. And i need more angsty Stucky in my life.

Thanks as always for all your feedback :D I'm going through an extended rough patch so it really makes my day :)

They pull into a sleazy motel at almost midnight and give false names because it seems like the thing to do. She and Tony go into the office while the rest of the group sit in silence in van. Tony has enough money to get them all separate rooms (which Natasha thinks is probably a good idea at this point) but he doesn't. He pays for two with two double beds in each room.

She offers to share with Bucky and she knows Clint will take the other bed in their room. Tony, Bruce and Steve will take the other room. They walk back to the van quietly and find Steve and Clint already unpacking, Bruce is on the phone to Peter and Bucky's still sat curled in to himself in the back, carefully avoiding everyone's gaze.

When they approach Steve straightens up, turns to them and clears his throat. "I think we should uh- talk about what happened earlier."

He's met with a glare from Tony and a muted squeak from Bucky- Natasha's pretty sure that Steve's referring to the Loki thing rather than the other thing but who knows. Steve might want them to sit around and open up about their feelings or something.

"Maybe we should all unpack first?" Bruce suggests.

Steve nods and Natasha takes up her bag, "Come on, James." She says quietly. Bucky follows her and Clint up to their room and crumples on to the bed as soon as they unlock the door.

Natasha drops her bag and heads straight to the bathroom; she's in dire need of a long shower. The shower is filthy but she's past caring. She locks the door, strips and turns the water up to scolding.

When she steps out and pulls a fresh outfit on she feels a little less like committing mass homicide. She leaves the bathroom to find Bucky alone in the room, still sprawled across the bed facing the wall.

"Where's Clint?"

Her brother jumps and rolls to face her, "He's gone to the diner down the road with Bruce. They're seeing if they deliver." He sits up and looks at her, half reluctantly, half expectantly. She sighs.

"Was Tony telling the truth?"

Bucky looks away. "Yes."

"About both things?"

She watches as he clenches his fist in the sickly orange bed sheets. "Yes."

"For God's sake James," she whispers because she knows her brother is an idiot. She just didn't think he was that stupid. He glares at her, or at least she thinks he's trying to glare. It sort of looks like he's steadfastly trying to avoid crying. She runs a hand through her hair.

"Are you mad at me?" he asks quietly.

She looks back at him and almost says 'No, I'm just disappointed' which is true but she generally tries to avoid sounding like her parents so instead she quirks an eyebrow. "What do you think? You lied to the police, James! This is serious."

"Not that!" he almost snaps. "The other thing."

Natasha blinks. "What?"

Bucky looks like he wants to hit something. "You know?" he snarls. "The other thing."

For a moment Natasha stares at him. "James, why would I be mad at you for that?" (Not like she hadn't worked it out a long time ago- well, not the Steve thing but the liking guys thing.)

"Because it's wrong." he spits through gritted teeth. Then his eyes go wide, "Don't tell mom and dad. Please, Tasha, don't tell mom and dad!" And he sounds so honestly terrified that she takes a few steps back.

"I don't want them to send me back," he whispers. "I can't be sent back."

Oh.

"I won't tell them, James," she says soothingly. "But it won't matter to them. It doesn't matter to me either, you know that."

"It'll matter to them," he spits. "Your Dad wanted the perfect son. Instead he got me."

"That's not true, James," she says quietly.

He looks unconvinced but this is a long conversation that can be left for another day (when they aren't shacked up in a motel on a legally questionable road trip) "We need to talk about what you said to Loki."

Bucky stands up, clenches his jaw.

"Don't be a child."

He glares at her, "He was pissing me off Tasha, you know how he is! Poor little rich kid doesn't get enough of daddy's love and money!"

"James," she says sharply.

"Oh, don't act all high and mighty, you hated it too!"

Natasha exhales heavily. "But I didn't hate him. And you don't either. Why did you lie to the police, James?"

"Was easier then telling the truth," he mumbles.

"Which was?"

"That I was a dick."

She snorts, "Well that's nothing new." She says playfully.

He looks up at her sharply but his expression softens when he sees her small smile. "I didn't want to get in trouble." He says quietly. "I just didn't want to get in trouble..."

She thinks about the little bag of white powder she found in his drawers, "Why did you think you'd get in to trouble?"

"They'd find out about me and Tony," Bucky mumbles. "And the- you know."

"The drugs?" she asks curtly.

He flinches at the word, "Yeah, Tasha, the drugs." He says all harsh vowels and cutting consonants. "They'd tell mom and dad and I'd be sent back for sure."

"Oh, James. You know they wouldn't," she says softly but she can tell by the look in his eyes that he truly believes they will. It's sort of heart-breaking. "You're my brother," she says firmly. "You're their son. You won't get sent back."

Bucky stares at her for a long time but when he finally looks about to say something they're interrupted by Clint barging carrying foam containers of food and beckoning them in to the other room. They follow and Natasha murmers a curse in Russian. In the other room Natasha seats herself between Bruce and Clint as Bucky drops back down on to one of the beds and looks away from her, tight lipped

"The diner did do take away!" Clint crows.

Natasha wrinkles her nose as they unpack the cartons. "Did you manage to get anything not swimming in grease?"

"Got you a salad, Nat," he says, handing her a specially marked container. "And, a chocolate shake." He waggles it invitingly.

Natasha glares at him (that shake is probably the worst thing she can drink right now- full of calories and fat and ugh) but she takes the shake anyway (damn him, damn him to hell) because chocolate is awesome. For a few minutes they wolf down their meals in silence, it's the first real food they've had all day, but then Steve, much to Natasha's annoyance decides to break it.

"So, this thing about Bucky lying to the cops..." he says casually. "What actually happened there?"

He's met with silence until Tony speaks, "Come on, Buck, share with the class."

Bucky makes a low growling noise and Natasha glares at Tony, "Stark, leave it." she snaps.

Steve makes this weird expression that looks like a mix between doubt and concern, "No, Natasha, with all due respect I want to hear the full story." He twists slightly so he's facing Bucky and Bucky swallows thickly.

"What happened there, Buck?" Steve asks gently and it feels all wrong. Steve and Bucky were never gentle together, not that she saw anyway. They were rough and tumble, good red-blooded American boys, playful and snarky and like best friends are meant to be. Now Steve was treating Bucky like he was made of glass, like he was something to be approached with caution.

Bucky notices it too. "I don't-" he mumbles thickly, "I just..." he stares at Steve dumbly for a few seconds and there's a hot curl of anger building in Natasha's chest.

"Steve-" she begins, intending to fill him in and at least save Bucky the embarrassment of spelling in front of everyone but Tony cuts her off.

"Stop defending him, Natasha! He lied to the fucking police. He could have saved everyone a lot of hassle if he wasn't such an asshole and now you're acting like I'm the bad guy here!"

She turns to him, ready to launch a tirade of angry curses but Bucky stands up, "Fuck this, I'm going to bed." He mutters.

"What?" Tony says, smiling charmingly, "You don't want to sleep in here with Steve?"

Bucky pales, Steve reddens and Natasha snaps, raising her fist to Tony's face. It's caught by Clint before it can make contact and when she opens her mouth she's cut off by Bruce snapping, "Why the hell are you being such a dick about this, Tony?"

Everyone falls silent because it's Bruce who's shouting. Calm, collected, quiet Bruce who doesn't hate or hurt anyone. Right now he doesn't look like that Bruce. His jaw is clenched, his eyes are dark with rage, his fists are clenched, he looks for all the world like a man about to explode.

"Whoa, Bruce," Tony says, holding up his hands. "Easy there big guy, calm down."

"No. I will not calm down!" Bruce yells. "You're all acting like fucking children and it's driving me fucking insane." He stands up, "Tony stop being such a petty fuck, Bucky sit the hell down, Natasha control yourself and CLINT STOP CHEWING WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN."

Clint's mouth clicks shuts, Tony's hangs open and Bucky drops back on to the bed, eyes wide. Natasha just stares.

Bruce massages his temples, "Shit guys, I'm sorry." He sits down shakily. "I just...A lot of stress, you know."

Steve smiles weakly, "It's alright buddy, you're right. We were being childish. I'm sorry."

Clint nods, opens his mouth, closes it again and swallows, "Sorry, Bruce."

"Sorry," Tony mutters sounding anything but.

Natasha looks away stormily. So maybe what Bucky's done is serious but that doesn't give Tony leeway to be a complete dick to her brother. "I'm sorry, Bruce." she huffs.

Bruce smiles feebly. "It's okay, I'm sorry."

Natasha looks up to where Bucky is still sitting on the bed; white knuckled clenching the sheet and trembling a little. "James?"

Steve turns too, "Bucky?" he stands up, frowning, "You okay, buddy?" He reaches out but Bucky flinches away.

"Don't," he buries his face in his hands. "Sorry," he murmers, "Sorry, sorry, sorry. I just need some air, okay?" He pushes off the bed and stumbles out of the door, shutting it soundly behind him. Steve stares after him for a few moments, looking a little lost, he turns to them briefly before following Bucky. Natasha moves to follow them but Clint holds her back, shaking his head.

"Wait a little bit, Tasha." He says quietly.

Clint and Natasha leave a few minutes after Steve and Bucky and for a few moments Tony just sits. He's really fucked this up.

"Guess we better clean this up," Bruce says slightly awkwardly, beginning to collect up the empty food containers. Tony nods and sweeps the containers nearest him into the empty plastic bag nearby. He glances up at Bruce briefly.

Until today he'd never seen Bruce loose it in such a big way.

"Bruce, are you sure you're okay?"

Bruce looks over at him and smiles reassuringly, "I'm fine, Tone. Really."

Tony bites his lip, "I'm sorry, Bruce."

"Tony, it's fine, really. Are you okay?"

Tony sighs. "Yes...No...I don't know. I'm just so fucking worried about Loki and then Bucky goes and tells me that and...Shit, I was wrong to tell Steve about him wasn't I?"

Bruce grimaces, "Yeah, but what he did was serious, you were just angry."

"Still shouldn't have done it," Tony murmers. "Hey, what did Peter have to say anyway?"

"They've got police investigating in New York right now, haven't found anything yet though."

"Yeah, well that's 'cos they don't know Loki like we do." Tony says.

Bruce nods, tying up their now full rubbish bag. "Do you really think we'll find him?" he asks quietly.

Tony's heart sinks a little. He knows Natasha thinks Loki's dead and that this is useless, he knows Steve and Clint are probably just going along with this to keep him happy but he always thought Bruce at least would have some faith.

"Of course we will, big guy." He says but he's not entirely sure how much he believes it anymore.