Rin let out a soft dreamy yawn as she greeted a new morning, a new year. Her deep set eyes fluttered at the glare from the bedside window and she raised her hand to shield it. Her other hand instinctively grazed over her side along the silken sheets for the one who had spent most of the night. Sesshoumaru, he was no longer here.

The girl's sight glided to the table clock, instantly realizing that it was already seven- thirty in the morning. She heaved a casual sigh, recalling what had happened before dawn broke. Closing her eyes and falling back to the comforts of her pillows, she vaguely remembered his soft hands on her, how he had purposefully woke earlier to leave before their parents rouse. He did whispered to signal his departure, giving her little pecks round the edges of her ears, her neck naughtily trying to see if he could get lucky with her in the morning as the late night before.

Reflectively, Rin smiled, the corner of her lips lifted gleefully at the thought of the handsome features of the one she loved, the one she had been drawn into an intimate relationship with, crossing dangerously beyond the boundaries of just hugs and kissing. Her smile turned into a soft chuckle. Sesshoumaru, he was so….terrible. Yes, she thought the particular word fitted him perfectly in this instance… terrible.

For one, he simply couldn't stop sneaking over to her room in the middle of the night, no matter how much she had voiced out that they could be caught in the act! Before they moved to the Taishos, her mom would now and then come into her room in the night to check on her, well more specifically, to see if she was warm enough and to adjust her covers. As she proceeded to college, these visits became lesser and lesser and since they moved in till now, Izayoi had not done it yet.

But what if? Rin's hairs stood on ends at that horrendous thought and she couldn't help but worry about that minute possibility. With that, her mood turned more solemn. Yes, in the midst of the heat of their budding romance, of passion, she had almost forgotten the sensitive issues between them. Their relationship had developed, their bodies joined numerous times. But still, things, the world remained unchanged. The idea… of two persons who were about to become siblings… cannot… become… lovers.

Her eyes drifted closed, her hands brushing against her breasts to her waist to her hips, places where Sesshoumaru had kissed, touched her the night before when they made love, as quietly as they possibly could help it, in her bedroom. It was so real… HE was so real in her life… so real that she could no longer deny that her heart had long belonged to him… her body as well.

So, what does this new year have installed for them, for this new happy family of uncle, mom, Sesshoumaru and me, and especially… for our love?

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At the breakfast table

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The girl checked her watch again with increasing frustration. They were going to be late for school. And where is Sesshoumaru? He must have slept past time since he went back to his room.

"SESSH! We are going to be late for school!" Rin tilted her head upward toward the stair well as she yelled on the top of her voice. As if suddenly remembering something, she rushed to the dining table, proceeding to do a quick pack of breakfast. Sesshoumaru wouldn't have time to eat. If she'd bring it along, he could have his food on the way to school.

Scurried steps were held as the boy came down. Rin passed him a slightly annoyed glance, noticing how he could still look so undisturbed by the late timing.

"Sessh…" She only managed to make a start of her comment when the phone rang. Instantly, Rin sensed the tension in the atmosphere surrounding them. Sesshoumaru's ambers lit up as if in a fiery, which was odd. Being so indifferent as he was, it was close to never that she had seen him react so agitatedly over the phone ring. As usually, he wouldn't even attempt to lift his finger to pick up the call even when he happened to sit right next to the telephone. Rin recalled so many times she had needed to scurried down from her room just to get it.

Rin took only one step toward the echoing machine when she let out a soft gasp. Sesshoumaru charged ahead of her, reaching for the call but when he had picked it up, he kept his silence throughout as though listening yet not responding. The girl waited, her mind still trying to make sense of this strange behavior.

"I'm saying this for the last time." Sesshoumaru finally spoke to the person on the other end of the line. "I have no wish to meet with you. DO NOT CALL AGAIN!" Rin's shoulders cringed as she heard a thunderous slam of the receiver. In fact, the force was so powerful that she could have sworn that most probably, the phone had served its last call.

"Sessh… who…" Rin stopped as the boy turned, his eyes shifted slightly to view her only at a corner and she simply paused in silence. That cold, unfeeling stare almost made her blood freeze, stopping all her queries… she had never seen him like this before. He was fine just last night but now… He seemed so…. foreign… as if she'd never known him.

With a deepen intake of breath, Sesshoumaru's strange anger died and he resumed his nonchalant self. "Ikuzo, didn't you say we're going to be late?"

"H-Hai." With an indescribable uneasiness, Rin quietly followed behind, reluctantly abandoning the breakfast box which she had prepared for him. Somehow, deep within her, something intuited her that Sesshoumaru wouldn't be in the mood of eating anytime soon.

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After school at the gate

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Rin heaved a long unrest sigh as she paced toward the gate to meet the boy. Whatever lectures and tutorials she had today, she'd say absolutely nothing went into her head. She was too pre-occupied pondering over the event that morning, the odd phone call, the unnerving reactions of Sesshoumaru.

Then, something caught her sight. From a distance, she could already make out the familiar silhouette of the boy but Sesshoumaru, Rin paused in her steps for a moment, he was with someone else. It was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Hey, wait a minute, Rin mused as she started to pick up speed toward them. She had seen her somewhere before. She gasped. She's… Sesshoumaru's mother!

Rin covered her mouth to stifle a shriek on her way as she noticed the slight tug of war the two were having. The lady was holding onto Sesshoumaru but he simply swiped her hand away in a rather unfeeling manner, freeing himself.

"Let go of me. This is embarrassing." She heard him snarl.

"Sesshoumaru, I've come back from Italy just to visit you. I only wish to have a chat with you. Is that too much to ask?" The woman's flustered tone rang out into Rin's ears.

"Go back to where you came from…" The boy intoned, his expressions still stone hard. "to your new home, your new… man…"

"Have you forgotten? I'M YOUR KA-SAN! Your mother!" Her face turned suddenly pale and whitened due to the exertion though the boy did not notice. He had turned to the direction of the girl as she approached.

"Sessh…" Rin stopped next to Sesshoumaru, then shifted to make a formal introduction of herself. "Ohayo, aunty, I'm Rin. I'm…Sesshoumaru's new ne-san." Yes, the girl mused inwardly as she offered a respectful bow, always a little hurt at the implications behind that word. That was still her title to the world.

The lady returned with a polite nod. "I'm Sesshoumaru's ka-san. I just came back from Italy with my husband to visit…"

She was cruelly intercepted.

"That will be enough." His eyes closed, Sesshoumaru spoke plainly as he gave Rin a tug. "I… do not have a mother." With that, he started walking off leaving the girl too shocked to react but she was not forgotten. The boy halted briefly. "Rin, Ikuzo."

With another clipped bow, Rin dashed after Sesshoumaru, her heart twisted painfully as she recalled seeing the tears flowing from the face of a mother.

"Sessh… what happened? Why is your ka-san here? Why didn't you want to speak with her? She came here specially to see you, didn't she?" The questions just flowed, both out of concern and curiosity. Even when uncle first showed her the family album, the ones with Sesshoumaru and his mother, he had never brought up what happened in the past.

No answer came. The boy just walked on, increasing his pace and very obviously, in a brood. Getting more intensely worried, the girl pressed on.

"Sessh… you've never told me about your mom. Why…" Rin stopped as Sesshoumaru paused in his steps, his back on her, his knuckles tightened till they cracked.

"You're asking too much." The heinous tone stiffened every muscle in the girl's body.

What? She gulped. Asking too much "Sessh… I'm just worried about you… I-I…"

"Didn't your mom teach you that a woman should know her place?" He gave a cold forced laugh, seemingly in a much more controlled tone. "Man gets tired of girls who are nags easily."

"Hey!" Rin pouted as she passed him a stare but he was too fast for her. Coolly, he picked up her hand, holding it in his as he led her homeward.

"Hurry up and walk. I'm starving."

Rin frowned, complying with the one who was pulling her along. Though she could tell that Sesshoumaru was trying his best to sound as normal as he could, he surely wasn't alright. There must have been something about his past that was still affecting him up till today and somehow, Rin knew, it was linked to his mom.

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At home

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Crunching a packet of chips as he leaned against the kitchen counter, Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes impatiently as the girl had her hands full at the lunch preparations. At the corner of her eyes, Rin felt the pressure of performing, mainly induced by the loud intentional sighs purposefully sounded by the boy. Both mom and uncle were out at work, leaving them to settle their meal by themselves.

"I'M STARVING TO DEATH!" Sesshoumaru yanked the emptied bag into the bin as he was done with his snack.

"Alright, alright! It'll only take a little while longer. I'm almost done." Rin pursed her lips as she soothed him, her hazels not forgetting to study the boy beyond his inscrutable face. Underneath the composed pretence, the girl could tell that Sesshoumaru wasn't alright at all. He was troubled, she felt it.

Placing a completed dish on the table, Rin paused to search his eyes. "Sessh…. Call you tell me what happened between you and your ka-san? I'm really worried how you were treating her just now." Even as she spoke, Rin could tell that the boy's expressions had darkened at the bringing up of that topic again. "Sessh… why…"

"WILL YOU JUST STOP PRYING INTO MY BUSINESS?" His ambers changed into furious red shot as he spat out almost in disgust, greatly shaking the girl.

Prying? He says I'm prying into his business? Rin thought to herself, hurt by the chosen words.

"S-Sessh… I'm just concerned about you, that's all. You don't have to say that." Her brows furrowed as her voice turned to a whisper.

"Do you just have to poke your nose into everything?" With that, he started up the stairs, slamming his bedroom door as the girl watched on. That last statement did nothing to improve the girl's mood. In fact, it had made it worse.

Rin's narration

Poke my nose into everything? About him? Shouldn't I be? I'm his… (sighs)

Perhaps, I'm nothing to him after all…

Even as our relationship develops, will there always be a side of Sesshoumaru that I'll never get to know?

(looks up at Sesshoumaru's door) Perhaps… that's a door… that will never be opened… even to me…

In the privacy of his room, the boy sat at an edge of his bed, pondering whether he had over-reacted, especially to the girl he loved. He hadn't done it purposefully, just that the topic of her choice… it was something he wished he'd never had to talk about again, a name belonging to whom he wished he could forget forever.

At the click of the sound of the front door, Sesshoumaru quietly came down the stairs, instantly realizing to his dismay that Rin was no longer at home. She… had left. He surveyed the dishes on the table, noting that she hadn't forgotten to lay out his lunch before she took leave. There was even a note next to the rice bowl. He picked it up, reading the simple message.

"Sessh… eat before the food turns cold… Rin."

He heaved a silent sigh.

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At Izayoi's workplace (a restaurant)

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"Welcome…" Izayoi did her usual bow, not noting exactly who the incoming customer was. Her eyes brightened as she realized who the visitor was. "Rin! What a surprise!"

"Rin-san, you are here to have lunch with her ka-san?" The manager called out from the counter as she lay out some dishes that were to be served.

"H-Hai." The girl didn't know what to say. But certainly, she wasn't just there for a casual visit. She wanted to ask her mom, to find out more about what's going on.

Izayoi was arranging the food carefully in a tray, ready to bring it to the assigned customer but the manager stopped her, smiling. "Yoi, why don't you have lunch with Rin? I'll get these over myself."

"Ayame-san, you're so kind but there're so many people here during lunch and if I don't help out…"

"It's okay, I can manage. Talk to the girl. She seemed troubled, little Rin-chan…" Even the manager herself could tell the sullen moods of the girl.

Seated comfortably and starting with their bentos, Izayoi watched as Rin's head was mostly lowered as if pondering on a severely difficult situation.

"Rin, is something the matter?" She suddenly recalled. "Aren't you and Sesshoumaru supposed to have lunch together? Does Sesshy know you're here?"

The girl shook her head. "Mom, do you know anything about Sessh's mom?"

Izayoi's eyes widened. "Oh, you mean Sho's ex-wife? I know that she left him when Sesshy was only a young boy."

"But do you know why she left?" Rin pressed on, wanting to know more. "And why is Sessh so angry with his mother?"

Izayoi smiled. "Well, Sho once told me that he hadn't spent enough time with her and that was why their marriage failed. But as to the details, he didn't tell me and I didn't ask him."

Rin slammed her hand agitatedly as she stood up. "MOM! How could you not ask? You're about to marry him. Don't you want to know everything about his past? Isn't that important?" The girl couldn't believe how simple minded her mom could be.

But the middle aged lady merely let off a light-hearted chuckle, patting on Rin's shoulders, urging her to sit down calmly.

"Rin, I love Sho and of course, I wish to know everything about him. But Rin, everybody has his past and I will not force him into revealing to me everything unless he's ready to share it. That's because everything has its time and I trust him…I believe in him."

Rin's narration

Trusting him?

Not forcing him into revealing everything unless he's ready to do so…because I love him… because I believe in him?

Is that how loving someone should be like?

Mom loves uncle and that's why she trusts him. That's because they have confidence in each other….

But for Sesshoumaru and I, we're still groping around, sure and yet still unsure… and that's why I'm insecure… and I worry… what the future lies for us…

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