okay guys, this is the last actual chapter, but i'm gonna post one more directly after this so i don't leave it hanging without matt knowing.

i'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted. this is the original ending for the first write of this story. i had it planned like this from the very beginning because i always knew that i would have a third story to write.

enjoy.

"I would like to thank you for showing me
a part of myself that I have never seen.
Yeah, we were young and dumb, but it was still fun.
And, I guess these things just tend to fall apart.
... and I hope you feel the same."

- 3685, The Spill Canvas.

The words resonated in his head as he sat down across from his mother. He could see pale lines on her face, indicating that she'd been crying and had calmed down enough to talk to him. It wasn't a look he was used to seeing, no matter how angry, frustrated, upset or annoyed she got. At him. At anyone. It wasn't in her nature - she would shut her emotions off until she could be alone to cope with whatever was bothering her.

Mello figured she'd been raised that way, but he also knew it was because she didn't like looks of pity or being asked if she was okay. It was obvious that she wasn't. Even though he knew that something was wrong, he was still afraid to ask.

What if something bad happened to one of his extended family members? Not that it would matter much to him, seeing as he really didn't see them often enough to care. What if something happened to his dad overnight while he was gone? Not that he wished anything on his father, despite the man barely wanting to anything to do with him. Or, better yet, what if there was something going on with her?

The possibilities were endless.

Mello sat with his back straight, his arms crossed atop the table in front of him. It was taking all he had to not ask her outright what she wanted to talk to him about. Chewing on his bottom lip, he watched as she opened and closed her mouth several times before taking a sip of her coffee. She then cleared her throat before finally deciding to speak.

"Mello," she started, looking at him with concerned eyes.

"Hm?" Mello hummed in response.

"I don't want to hear your thoughts and opinions on this. What I say goes," she told him, her gaze hardening. All the blond could do was nod his head with an eyebrow arched.

"I didn't bother waking up your father for this, God knows he's a busy man and he deserves his rest, so it'll just be me." Mello once again nodded. She leaned forward against the table, placing her hands firmly on the fake wood. "I decide that, for your sake and for what's best for this family, to send you to military school."

"W-what?" Mello choked, eyes widening in disbelief.

"You heard me. I'm calling the school as soon as it opens to get you enrolled and by next week, if nothing stands in the way, you'll be on your way."

"Why?" his voice was small.

"Does it matter? You've disgraced this family, Mello."

"I haven't done a-anything though!" he nearly shouted, dropping his hands from the table and balling them into fists in his lap. "I've done everything you wanted me to."

"You haven't and you know it," she spat. "We told you to leave that boy alone. What did you do? You went against our orders and continued to see him! I wonder how that nice, young girl would feel when she finds out that her boyfriend is... is a faggot."

That one word made his heart sink into his stomach. It made him want to curl into a ball and die. Only, his resolve was too strong for that. While it stung, Mello knew that she was only saying it out anger and that she didn't mean it.

Or, at least... he hoped.

"What makes you say that I've not been listening to you?" Mello questioned. He'd clearly broken the spoken rule of 'don't question my authority' that she set out before him.

"I don't need to explain myself to you, young man."

"Yes, you do. I have a right to know when I was going against what you told me to do!" Mello was seething. He was beyond pissed.

His mother brought the cup to her lips, her eyes scanning over him as she examined the anger etching across his face. The warm liquid coated the back of her throat momentarily, giving her reason to keep her mouth shut as she sipped at the drink. She didn't need to tell him why she was doing what she was - it was her business and he was expected to go along with it. No questions asked.

Or, that was how it went down in houses where children didn't defy their parents.

"Where did I go wrong?" she asked herself. Mello rolled his eyes, having heard this question many times over the past few months. He was half tempted to tell her that having him was where she went wrong.

"You went wrong when you decided not to tell me what I did!" Mello snarled.

She stared at him with a raised eyebrow. Mello could feel himself shaking, he could feel the slight tremor crawl along his arms and into his hands, where they shook more than any other part of his body. Mello dug his fingernails into the palms of his hands, a grimace washing over his features with the pain.

They continued to wordlessly watch one another. She finished off her cup of coffee as the world outside slowly began to wake up. Mello could hear the slamming of car doors while he sat, his eyes glued to his mother's form and questioning everything about the card he'd been dealt.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even pay attention to her getting up to refill her cup. The noise of the chair sliding back on the wood flooring brought him back to reality - one he didn't feel like dealing with.

"Are you going to tell me now?" Mello asked several minutes later.

"Why should I?" she spat back.

"I have a right to know why I'm being shipped away."

"And I, as your mother, have the right to withhold information from you."

"This isn't fair!" he finally screamed, standing up and pushing his chair back until it fell over, his hands smacking the top of the table. It took everything he had not to jump the span of the table and demand that she tell him the reason. Mello was almost to the point where he'd use violence if he needed to, though it wasn't in his nature - outside of other people starting fights with him, of course.

He'd never hit a girl before and he never thought he would - he also never thought the first woman he'd touch with malicious intent would be his own mother. His own flesh and blood. Mello felt conflicted.

She watched the way he held back as he worried his bottom lip, looking everywhere but at her with furrowed eyebrows. She'd never seen him so upset, but there was a first time for everything.

"Get in the car, Mello." she said as she stood, walking the distance to the counter so that she could put her empty cup in the sink.

"Where are we going?"

"To your school."

"Why?"

"You're going to clear out your locker and say your goodbyes to your girlfriend. I'm going to get the withdrawal papers from the principle and explain to him what's going on. I am fairly certain that he'll understand."

"Of course." Mello muttered, rolling his eyes. The principle would definitely know where his mother was coming from - they were on the same council at church. They both spent the majority of their free time organizing events in the name of God. They were on the same page as far as homosexuality was concerned.

It was during Mello's inner speech that he realized that the principle was probably one of the people that told his mother about his business. If anything got around at school about him, that man would be the first person to run to his parents. That made him wonder about the other prying eyes and who else could have told on him.

The ride to school was silent. Cars zoomed by, rocking his mom's vehicle as they passed. She was a slow driver and the reason why people in his town had horrible road rage issues. Or, that's what he figured.

"Take this," she instructed, holding out a black trash bag to him as he exited the car. "You go to your locker, get everything and then come to the office. I'll let you talk to the Yagami girl when you're done."

"Only her?" Mello asked as they walked into the building. He had other friends he wanted to bid farewell.

"Only her," she affirmed. "She's the only that matters, is she not?"

"Yeah..." Mello wanted to tell her that Sayu was only a friend and that Matt meant more to him than she did, but that would be telling on himself.

Mello walked through the quiet hallway, stopping just short of his locker to look into the classroom next it. It was first period art - the class Matt wanted to take initially before the guidance counselor told him that the class was filled and that he'd need to pick another class to suit his schedule. The problem was that Matt took mostly honors classes, so it was difficult finding elective classes to fill in gaps. Matt had argued that he could do study hall, talking off Mello's head with all the reasons why study hall was a better option than being forced to sit in a room to learn something stupid like a language or skill he'd never use after high school.

Creative writing was the only one he liked and Mello knew that it was because they were in the class together, even though Matt wouldn't admit that to himself or the blond. It was also the only class that he could do a small schedule change with.

With a sigh, Mello walked past the room and to his locker, where he stood staring at it like it was the reason he was being taken from everything he'd ever known and thrown into a pack of wolves without the proper means to defend himself. He honestly couldn't believe that it was happening. He was almost certain that it had only been threat to get him to do right by his parents, especially when they realized that he was going to bring in the money from the Yagami family like his mother had wanted. Mello made it a point to ask her if that was why he was being shipped off.

He couldn't get the money if he was with the girl, but if he stayed with Light then they would overlook his homosexual nature in favor of their son playing the bride to bring home the money. He knew that's what they wanted from the start - it had been said when they confronted him about his sexuality. His mother slipped up and his father tried to keep a tight lip. So much for that.

He pulled the locker door open with enough force to yank it off the hinges if it hadn't been built for the use of angry high school students. Mello took one look at the inside, noting how it wasn't as bad as his mother thought it would have been. It looked like a typical locker - the books he used for class stacked on top of one another in the order of his classes, several spiral notebooks filled with the creative writing assignments he didn't want to bring home in fear that his parents would find and read them (most of his journal entries consisted of Matt), and the remainder of the junk was half used pencils, crumpled paper, notes from people that wanted in his pants, and his gym uniform. Everything was shoved into the trash bag, well, all but the books he would be returning to the front desk in the office. He'd have to carry those.

Mello noticed something he had seen in a while as he cleared out the bottom of the locker. Balled up in the corner rested the rosary he'd bought before school started and wore around his wrist until it was time for gym. Mello couldn't remember what prompted him to take it off and throw it into the locker like a piece of trash, but he was thankful that he found it. Despite the fact that he didn't believe in what it stood for, he liked the way it had been made and looked against his complexion.

Shutting the locker and dragging the bag behind him, he went in a different direction around the school. He took a longer route - one that would give him more time to himself to think about what was going on. He also had intentions of taking a peak at Matt as he slept in his first class of the day.

Matt, who had shown him the kind of love he never thought he'd experience, would be hurt the most out of his parents sending him to military school. The redhead wasn't going to be given the chance to say goodbye and he doubted that having Sayu tell him would make things any better, though that was the way he'd have to do it. Mello would have preferred telling his boyfriend himself, but he couldn't. Sadly.

The blond came to a pause outside the driver's education classroom, his eyes focused in on Matt the minute he looked through the glass. Matt was sleeping with his arms crossed on top of the desk and facing the door, like normally. The redhead sat as close to the door as he could get, opting to be in the back of the room so that he could get away with doing exactly what he was. Matt only took the class because it was a requirement in the school - having his license meant nothing if he didn't have the class credit to back it up. It made absolutely zero sense, but Matt went along with it and decided to sleep all period.

Stupid school grading system aside, Mello felt horrid about leaving Matt the way he was. Would Matt be mad at him? Would he understand? Would he forget him? Would they even be considered together anymore? Should he start referring to Matt as his ex? So many things swam through his head as he watched him sleep as peacefully as he could with a video of drunk driving playing in the background.

Mello shook his head to clear his thoughts and he wiped away the tears that came out of nowhere to assault his eyes. He continued his journey to the office, where he placed the books on the desk in front of the office assistant. Mello could his mother and the principle talking down the short hall.

She spoke of how her baby boy didn't appreciate anything they did for him, and how she felt about his father not being on speaking terms with him. The principle said that he really did understand because he'd been there and was forced to take drastic measures in making sure that the rest of his family wasn't corrupted. It wasn't a secret that the man had disowned his daughter several years back when she came out. His mother said she didn't want to go to those lengths, but she would if he wouldn't straighten out.

Mello felt like punching them both.

It was during his eavesdropping that the door opened and Sayu came into view. She looked like she'd run a marathon. Mello tilted his head in confusion.

"What's up?" he asked her.

"I was called up here," she answered. "I don't know why, though."

"Probably because of me," the blond said as he stood up, took her hand and led her outside the office to explain what was going on.

"You? Why?" Sayu asked, following him blindly.

"I'm leaving."

"What?"

"I was getting ready this morning and Mom stopped me in the kitchen, saying we needed to talk." Mello looked up at her, their eyes locking. "She won't tell me anything, but she knows that I've been seeing Matt. She made the decision to send me off."

"W-What?" Sayu repeated.

"I'm being shipped off to some military school next week." Mello said, his voice low and pained. He was trying his hardest not to let the tears fall, even though all he wanted to do was collapse against Sayu and sob into her shirt.

"For how long?"

"Until I graduate, I'm guessing." Mello told her, wrapping his arms around her body and pulling her close. "Two years, give or take."

"That's a long time. Will we be able to talk? Like on the phone? Will you get to come home during breaks?" Sayu's voice was strained and she made no point in hiding the fact that she was crying as a million questions attacked his eardrums.

"Probably not... only calls to family. Maybe mail, but I don't know. They'll probably read everything before I get it, so there's no point." Mello brought their foreheads together. They looked like the picture perfect couple. "And, they don't do breaks other than Christmas, so you know I'll be forced to stay home."

"Fuck. This isn't fair, Mello." Sayu whispered.

"I know."

"What about Matt?"

"I don't know, Sayu. I'm only allowed to say goodbye to you." he responded, tears flowing down his face as he told her.

"Why just me?"

"Because you're supposed to the only one that matters."

"I hate your mom, Mel." she said, a small smile gracing her lips. She was trying - and horribly failing - to lighten things.

"So do I."

And he wasn't lying. He couldn't stand her.

They continued to hold one another, softly talking about what they were going to do and how much they would miss each other. Sayu promised him that she'd find a way to talk to him, even if it meant coming to visit him on visitation days. She said that no amount of money or distance would keep her from seeing her best friend. Sayu also said that she'd bring Matt if she actually did come to visit.

They were lost in their own little world, but Mello's mother brought them back to reality as she opened the office door. She walked past them as if she hadn't seen the two of them together, stopping at the door only to tell him that it was time to go. Mello swallowed the lump in his throat as he hugged Sayu tighter before dropping his arms and slowly walking behind his mother, who had gone outside to wait in the car.

"Hey, Sayu."

"Yeah?"

"Tell Matt that I love him, okay? Tell him that I didn't want this and that I wanted to tell him goodbye myself, but I couldn't. Tell him not to forget about me because I damn sure won't forget him." Mello wiped at his tears as he pulled the rosary from his pocket. "And, can you give him this? Let him know that it's my promise to return to him when I graduate."

"Okay, Mello." Sayu said softly, extending her hand out and closing her fingers around the object as it fell into her open palm. "I'll see you later, alright? Stay strong."

Unable to speak, Mello nodded and hoped that she understood that he wanted to say more. He opened the door and stepped out, inhaling the cool morning air deeply as he watched his mother's car pull up in front of him. Life was so unfair.

The ride home was spent with Mello trying to calm his nerves. He'd already given his mother the satisfaction of knowing that she'd won. There wasn't anything else he could do to save face in front of her, so he kept his mouth closed and willed his tears back.

It was when they came to a stop in front of their house that she reached a hand out to grab his wrist, silently telling him to wait. He looked over at her, a 'don't touch me' look etched on his face as he jerked away. She shook her head, leaning back against the seat. She wanted to tell him something, he was sure, but he didn't feel like listening.

They say in the car for what felt like eternity, and it wasn't until she spoke that his entire world fell apart and he came to realize that this had been his fault.

"I heard you last night, Mello."

yes? no?

there's one more chapter after this, currently editing and writing the first few chapters to the new story before i post it so i don't fall behind and take years to finish. i'll post the new story name for those of you still reading this to read in that chapter, they'll be going up at the same time. expect no later than next tuesday.

again, sorry for this. D:

review, please. thank you.

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