Thorin often found nights in Erebor cold and lonely, something which he once would never have dared to think about his Grandfathers lost Kingdom. However in the solitude of his private apartments, while sifting through paperwork at his father's old desk he often found the loneliness weighing down on him, as if the very mountain itself felt alone. Oh how he missed Bilbo at these times, he could almost imagine the Hobbit sitting in the large armchair by the marble fireplace with the flames lighting his hair whilst he read a book of flowery Elvish poetry. He would give everything, each and every piece of gold in the treasury if he had to, to make that image become real. It was a dream though and nothing else, for Bilbo would never be able to forgive him, and rightly so.
He had written so many letters over the years, one every month in fact, with Coac. Some had been returned unopened, some returned opened, some not returned, and the latest one had simply had Please leave me alone written on the back of it in Bilbo's neat writing. That had been the one which had shattered what little had been left of his heart, and turned that particular organ into ice. It wasn't fair on Faramir that he was going to be stuck with a husband who was never going to love him, who no longer had the ability to love. Sure he was in love with his brother, something which he had witnessed personally with his nephews, but from what Thorin understood Boromir was already married with at least one son. It seemed that the youngest son of Denethor didn't have a loving future really with anyone, and that was a tragedy.
Faramir had left earlier that day, riding for Rivendell with Dwalin and Balin so as to put Erebor's point forward when it came to Mordor. He himself would have gone if it his rule wasn't so fragile after all he had no issues with Dis taking the throne in his absence, Fili was not mentally able right now with Kili still missing, but there were many who thought him weak and wanted his cousin Dain there instead. He was not leaving his sister and heir vulnerable whilst he went traipsing halfway across Middle Earth. No he needed to be here for his family.
His family. That included Kili, his second sister-son and the love of his heir. Even though he had crowned Fili as Prince, it was well known that Kili was his favourite, after all who couldn't fall in love with the tenacious little Dwarfling? He had always been so brave and mischievous despite his relatively sheltered upbringing, wanting to chase after his uncle and older brother whenever they went hunting. Fili hadn't been able to resist him since the day Kili had been placed in his arms as a wiggling newborn, and Thorin had had the pleasure of watching their relationship blossom. They had been inseparable since Kili had been able to toddle, and seeing his eldest nephew in such a state of depression made him want to smash things in grief. Fili was lost, completely and utterly lost, and it was starting to get the whole of Erebor down.
Putting his elbows on the desk, Thorin let his head rest in his hands and gave several deep breaths. It was all too much really, his Grandfather had never had to put up with any of this during his reign. Oh sure there had been that whole issue with the gold sickness, and then the dragon, and of course being decapitated by Azog … but to watch the slow demise of someone he held so dear, it's enough to drive a Dwarf to madness.
They had to find Kili and bring him home, there was just no other option.