Tony wakes up sprawled on a plush leather couch with a hangover that feels more akin to some bashing his brains in with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. For a few pained moments his mind is blank and he's scrambling desperately for the reason he's on Rhodey's couch.
Oh. Right. New York. Drug dealers.
He sits up slowly, wincing in bright sunlight. The scent of bacon and eggs and other deliciously unhealthy food wafts through from the kitchen and his stomach rumbles queasily. Maybe he'll stick with toast.
He stumbles into the kitchen a few minutes later, rubbing at his eyes and yawning. Clint, Bruce and Tasha are sat around the table while Steve cooks. "Morning," Tony yawns.
"Afternoon," Bruce corrects.
"You owe me five dollars," Clint says, clasping Bruce's shoulder. "We made beats on how long you'd be out. You drank a lot."
Bruce rolls his eyes and Natasha smirks into her coffee mug.
"You guys are awful," Tony mutters, collapsing in to a chair. "You are awful, horrible, bad people and as soon as we get through with this I am finding new friends."
"Mm," Steve pushes a plate of food towards him. "Good luck with that."
Tony picks at it. He's hungry but he's not entirely sure he won't just throw it back up so he stares mournfully at it until Bruce shoves two white pills under his nose along with a glass of water. Tony looks up at him, "You are my favourite," he says meaningfully and Bruce chuckles.
Tony swallows the pills, "So what time is it anyway? Did that Alexi guy give us a meeting time?"
"It's almost two," Natasha answers. "And he called Bucky, he's gone to meet him. He's meant to text us when Alexi decides we can meet Laufey."
"What is our plan with that anyway?" Bruce asks.
For some reason everyone turns to Tony. "Uh, wing it?"
"Wing it ?" Steve repeats. "We're meeting a seriously dangerous criminal who may or may not be holding Loki hostage and your plan is to wing it."
"Dude, we never have a plan," Clint points out.
"Well, maybe you guys don't but I'm not going in blind." Steve mutters.
"Sure, let us know how that pans out," Tony says dismissively.
Plans. Though Tony has to admit Bucky's plan is working out well, maybe Steve's won't be so bad. Maybe they'll need it.
"I think Steve's right," Natasha says, "We need a plan. Especially about what we're going to do if we don't find Loki."
Tony holds up a hand, he doesn't even want to think about that. They've come to far for this to all be for nothing. "He'll be there," he says firmly and Tasha gives him an almost sympathetic look. "He'll be there," he repeats. "You'll see."
"Well either way there's no way we can make a plan until we know what's actually happening," Bruce points out.
The pills start to kick in while Steve and Natasha are debating telling someone about what they're planning so Tony tucks into his by now very cold breakfast. They're waiting two hours before Steve and Natasha start to get worried. "He definitely should have called by now," Steve mutters. He's pacing up and down, it's driving Tony mad.
"Wearing a hole in Tony's friend's rug isn't going to do anything," Natasha points out. She's perched on the back of the couch Tony woke up on, hands folded neatly in her lap.
"Well, we've got to do something," Steve barks. "Have you tried calling again?" Natasha shoots him a look that Tony's pretty sure would make a lesser man cry.
"We could call the police," Bruce suggests quietly.
There's silence after that - Tony tries and fails to come up with a reason why they shouldn't. Tony still wants to say no, no cops, they'll never find Loki if they do. But now it's not just Loki, it's not just his call. Tasha and Clint are looking to Steve and Tony does too - Steve's the voice of reason after all - and then Tony realises that he actually trusts this guy. He trusts Steve Rogers. Fuck.
"Yeah," Steve says, "Yeah. We'll give it half an hour. Then we'll call."
Bucky's text comes through ten minutes afterwards - an address, a parking lot - twenty minutes. don't call, it says and Natasha frowns, "Doesn't sound like him."
Steve shakes his head, "No, it doesn't."
Clint is glancing between them, he and Bruce are staying behind - they've already decided this. "So what do we do?"
"We go," Steve says firmly. "We'll text if we need help, so keep alert, okay?"
"Right," Bruce still doesn't look convinced by their plans. "But if you guys aren't back by like midnight I'm calling the cops."
The parking lot is almost as cliched as their current situation, Tony thinks. Isolated, half-empty, in the rougher part of Brooklyn. Alexi is there, leaning against a Mercedes, cigarette dangling lazily from his lips. There are three other guys that Tony vaguely recognises from the party, lounging around beside two black cars. Totally not suspicious.
The camper van shudders to a halt and Steve pauses before getting out, "Be careful." he says quietly, with a meaningful look at Tony and Natasha. Tony falls in behind him without really meaning to - Steve's bigger than him, okay? And Natasha walks somewhere in between, they stop a few feet away from Alexi and Natasha steps forward, "Where's my brother?"
Alexi grins, "I sent him on ahead. He's waiting for us at our host's home." He takes a few steps towards them and as he does so he shifts his jacket and Tony catches a glimpse of what is very much a gun and swallows.
"So Laufey's agreed to meet me?" Tony's trying to sound cocky, like he was last night. He's trying to be the brash rich kid who's trying to get back at daddy by turning to crime. "Good, I was beginning to worry that he'd chickened out."
Alexi chuckles, "Oh, he's very interested in meeting you, Tony. I think this could be the start of something beautiful."
The hairs on the back of Tony's neck stand up; there's definitely something wrong here. He catches Steve's eye and Steve gives an almost imperceptible nod - he's noticed it too.
"Now, if you lovely people will just chuck your phones in my friend's bag we can be on our way," Alexi says, waving for one of the men to step forward. The man holds out a black rucksack and looks at them expectantly.
"You're taking our phones?" Tony asks slowly, this wasn't part of the plan.
"A precaution, you understand," Alexi says, with a dismissive wave. "We've got to be careful about who we meet with. If you'd rather not give us your phones I suppose we could always do this over the phone…"
Tony looks to Steve who nods, cautiously. "Alright," he says, pulling out his iphone and dumping it in the rucksack. He grabs the man by the shirtfront, "Not a scratch, buddy. Alright?"
The man looks amused rather than intimidated, "Sure, kid. Whatever." he says, pulling away. Steve puts his phone in next and then Natasha, sighing loudly just to make sure everyone knows she does not support this idea.
Alexi grins, "Great, now that's done we can get going. You guys can ride with me." He holds the doors open for them. Tony lets Steve ride shotgun.
They drive for almost an hour, weaving around back alleys and main streets, Tony's pretty sure its to disorientate them. Unfortunately for Alexi he either underestimated Tony's genius or just failed to grasp that it could extend to something like this. Tony can tell that Natasha isn't fooled either, she's spent the entire trip gazing out of the window, brow furrowed.
Eventually, they pull up in front of a sprawling mansion in the kind of neighbourhood Tony grew up in. Steve looks almost laughably shocked and Alexi chuckles as they roll to a stop in front of the ornate glass doors, "We thought warehouses and abandoned factories were a little cliche."
He leads them into the large foyer, there are suited bodyguards wandering about but apart from that the house is still around them. "Come on," Alexi says, beckoning them down a corridor. One of the suited bodyguards follows, one hand on his holster.
"They're leading us into a trap," Natasha says quietly. "We should run for it."
"If we run for it they'll catch us," Tony hisses back.
"Quiet in the cheap seats!" Alexi yells. They reach the door at the end of the corridor and Alexi turns to them, grinning. "Sorry about this guys, you probably should have listened to your instincts there."
The room is empty and lockable and Tony groans. The man behind them has drawn his gun, smirking idiotically.
"Go on," Alexi says as they shuffle into the room. "I'm sure Mr Laufey will be along presently."
"Where's my brother?" Natasha spits.
Alexi chuckles before he shuts the door, "Oh, someone will bring him along in a while too." The click of the lock echose through the room and then they're alone.
Natasha sighs, "When we find Loki I am going to kill him."
"I'll help conceal the evidence," Steve offers.
Tony half wants to offer his services in transporting the body but he bites it back - Loki didn't want this for us, he must have left for a reason, he must be here against his will - must be. "We'll be alright," he says hollowly. Natasha glowers at him. She blames him for everything that's happening, he knows and maybe it is his fault but fuck her because if this was Bucky or Clint she'd have done all of this and more, Steve too.
The door swings open after an hour or so - Tony has thus far managed to annoy Steve to the point of him threatening actual violence and narrowly avoided being kicked in the jaw by Natasha (it's not his fault , okay? He's just a little on edge with the whole being taken hostage by gangsters and after he'd counted all the patches kn the ceiling and the floorboards there wasn't much to do.)
Alexi strides in dragging Bucky by the collar; Natasha and Steve both stand immediately. He's got a black eye, a cut on his forehead and he's struggling valiantly, eyes red rimmed, jaw clenched, limping slightly. "Let me go," he spits, raising his hands to try and loosen Alexi's grip; his knuckles are bloodied. Two bodyguards flank them, pistols drawn. So much for making a break for it Tony thinks, (not that that had been the plan or anything - too risky, Steve had said,)
A man strides in after Alexi and the bodyguards, tall, pale. Laufey. He's dressed sharply in a crisp dark suit, his hair is neat and he looks about with disdain. "I believe this belongs to you," he says, with a little wave towards Bucky. Alexi lets him go with a small chuckle and Bucky glares at him, raising his fists.
"Don't, boy," Laufey drawls. "If you do I may have to change my mind about letting you go, you were so amusing after all." Bucky shudders a little at that then the fight leaves him and he slinks towards them, head bowed.
"If you touched him," Natasha begins, voice shaking with anger.
"You'll what?" Laufey sneers as Natasha falls silent, eyeing him up. "Come on, girl. Out with it."
She takes a step forward and Tony has always been aware that Natasha could very probably kill a man but this is the first time he thinks she actually might. "I'll tear you to pieces." She says, very quietly in a voice that could cut steel.
Laufey laughs, a deep, raspy noise. "Wonderful. You befriended the wrong sibling, Alexi. She's got far more potential than our dear James."
Alexi smirks, "She's too strong for that, sir. You can tell just by looking."
Laufey nods, "Indeed. Now, about this little situation we've found ourselves in..."
Tony wants to say something but right now his brain is still trying to catch up with what's going on. He's drawn closer to Natasha and Steve, Bucky's standing a little behind them, Steve has one hand on his arm. "Let us go," Steve says calmly. "We've got Bucky, we don't have anything you want. Let us go and this doesn't need to get complicated."
Laufey laughs again, "Let you go? Nonsense," his eyes alight on Tony and Tony abruptly Feels completely exposed. "Why would I let Howard Stark's only heir go without a fuss?"
Tony swallows, "So, what? You're holding me to ransom? I'm insured against kidnapping, you know. All it'll take is one phone call."
"Oh, I'm well aware of that, ten thousand dollars was it? But you see I know that your daddy can afford much, much more."
Tony chuckles, "And you think he'll just fork it over to you? You obviously haven't done your research, pal. Sending my dad my severed finger or whatever's in fashion with the kidnapping crowd these days will just get him mad at you for distracting him from his precious projects."
Laufey smiles, "It's interesting that you're so insistent that your father cares very little for you. You know that's not true, however. Or maybe youhope its not true. Most fathers in your father's situation, however, have at least some affection for their sons."
"What about your son?" The words slip out before Tony can stop them and Laufey grins again.
"Ah, yes. My son; the reason you're here, I'm assuming? Sorry to disappoint you, children but I won't be telling you anything to that respect. He found me, yes. But I won't tell you what I did to him."
What I did to him.
Tony sees red, he's about to launch himself at Laufey - crime boss or not - because he can't stop thinking about Loki hurt - bleeding - dying - dead - Loki cold in the ground - but Natasha grabs his arm in a vice-like grip and yanks him back, "Don't be an idiot, Tony." She says quietly.
"Yeah, Tony," Alexi mocks, "Don't be an idiot."
Laufey shoots him a withering look. "Come on, we have a few phone calls to make." With that they leave, shutting the door and locking it behind them.
"Assholes," Bucky snarls after them, raising a hand to wipe away the blood on his face. He only succeeds in smearing it more liberally across his skin and there's this awkward moment where Steve catches his hand and says, "Let me," and then proceeds to use the sleeve of his shirt to mop it up while Natasha pretends to be interested in her shoes and Bucky's face burns.
"Did you see Loki?" Tony asks, when Steve steps away.
Bucky sighs and shakes his head.
It gets to 11pm and Tony's starting to panic. Like, really panic. There's been no word from Laufey, no visits from any of his smug staff and Tony has no idea what's going on. He knows that by this stage they must have contacted his dad or his dad's lawyer or representatives or whatever and this is very probably frontpage news (maybe he'll even get a few news specials - oh, who is he kidding? Of course he'll get a few news specials out of this. Maybe a book deal. Maybe a movie.) But none of that matters now.
What matters is that he's got them into this mess. His dad can pay and Laufey will milk that for it's worth but Tasha's parents? Steve's? Tony has no idea what he'll want from them. His mind is running through scenarios that make his stomach churn; what if Laufey kills one of them to show he's serious? What if he tortures them?
Tony glances over to where they're seated against the opposite wall, Steve and Bucky are asleep, Bucky's head on Steve's shoulder. Natasha's awake, winding a shoelace around her fingers endlessly. He crosses to sit down by her, their shoulders brushing. "I'm sorry," he mutters meaningfully.
"It's not your fault," she says, eyes still fixed on the lace. "If this idiot hadn't got himself kidnapped first we would have been fine," she adds, nudging Bucky. Tony knows she's only humoring him but he appreciates the effort.
"He hasn't killed Loki, you know," she says when the silence stretches too long. "He won't have. You saw how keen he is for money, Loki's worth about the same as you. He wouldn't pass up that opportunity."
"Yeah," Tony's voice is a little raw. "Yeah, you're right."I hope.
They sit quietly for a while and Tony thinks he might be nodding off when there's the soft snick of the lock and then the door slides open softly and a lithe figure slithers in, closing the door quietly behind him. Tony stands and Natasha does too, it's dark in the room so they can't see the figure's face until he takes a step forward.
"Loki," Tony breathes.
Loki's face is drawn, "Stark, you absolute idiot." he hisses.
Loki runs until he can't breathe, sinks down to his knees in some park or some field or somewhere with stupid grass and stupid mud and stupid -stupid!
("You stole me!" he yells, voice raw, tears burning in his eyes. "You stole me! I'm just a trophy. Just a way for you to get back at your stupid enemy! You stole me."
His father's face is calm, his eyes dull. "I saved you." he says quietly. "Loki, you are -"
Loki doesn't want to hear it. You are my son, but he's not. He's the son of a killer, the son of a monster and oh, it all makes sense. Why he's never felt right, why he's never felt whole. Why he's never been able to smile like Thor like there was nothing wrong in the world, like he was content, like he was happy.
He's never been able to be happy.
He's never been able to kill himself.
Because he's not right.
"Don't," he says softly. "Don't." His whole body is shaking and his mother is there, approaching with her hand reaching for him and - "DON'T!" he yells, stumbles away like a wild beast. If she touches him he'll break, he'll shatter.
She withdraws her hand with a soft noise of distress, presses it first to her breast and then to her mouth.
"Why?" Loki whispers. "Why did you take me if it wasn't for revenge?" because none of this makes any sense.)
He tears at the grass and he tears at himself - he just wants to hurt, he just wants to - Tony. He wants - he needs.
He stumbles to his feet, his legs are like jelly, his head is pounding.
("You are my son.")
He's got to get to Tony. Tony makes sense.
("I broke into Laufey's house during a party," Odin says, eyes fixed on Loki's. "We had intended to surprise him but things went wrong. In the chaos Laufey escaped, the police were on their way and as I was leaving I heard a baby crying. You were in a locked room, alone. I couldn't let you go into the foster system, I had heard so many horror stories…")
He's heading to the treehouse, Tony will be there he's sure. If only he'd stopped to grab his things…
He runs into Bucky and of course, it had to be him, didn't it? Loki doesn't trust himself to talk without screaming and Bucky's drunk (like always) and it's all just so damn pathetic that Loki wants break something.
("I took you because I thought it was the right thing to do.")
"He doesn't want to see you," Bucky sneers. "You don't deserve him."
("Your mother had just suffered a miscarriage…"
"No," Loki whispers. "Not my mother.)
"Look at you, poor little rich kid. What happened now? Daddy wouldn't buy you that car you wanted? Daddy was mean to you? Poor little Loki. Didn't get his own way."
Loki wants to hurt him. Loki wants to break his stupid smug face. Loki want to tear him bits.
"You don't know anything," Bucky spits. "You have no idea about real life, you spoilt little brat."
("Loki," Frigga says quietly, "Loki, please, we love you.")
"Shut up," Loki growls, "Shut up!"
Bucky laughs. "That the best you can do? Tony doesn't want to see you, he's seeing me tonight. He's got no time for you." And his expression tells Loki everything. "Guess he's getting over his little crush on you, huh?"
No. He's lying.
("Loki, please, you have to understand, Laufey was a monster - ")
He has to be lying.
("Laufey was a monster? You kidnapped me!" his voice is shrill now, hysterical, tears streaming unbidden down his face. "How many men did you kill that night, Odin? How many people did you kill the night before that? And before that? You're the monster here! You're the monster and youstole me!")
Tony wouldn't -
But there's no lie in Bucky's smirk.
Loki backs away and Bucky's laughing; it echoes through his mind. He's seeing me tonight.
He breaks into a run.
Runs until he's gasping for breath.
Falls into a heap and realises he's run home.
He clambers into his car and drives. Drives until he runs out of gas on a bridge. Pounds on the steering wheel as his car rolls to a stop andscreams.
He stands on the barrier separating the road from the sheer drop into the river, watches the dark waters cut a path down below.
If he jumped he'd be dead in an instant.
And if he survived the fall he'd be smashed to pieces in the rapids.
It'd be easy. Just a step.
Just.
One.
Step.
Loki hadn't planned on seeing these people ever again, when he left it was meant to be for good. Damn Tony for following him here. Damn him.
Natasha's here too. And Steve and that idiot Bucky.
Damn. Damn. Damn.
Tony looks so stupidly happy, like he's just won a...won whatever prize Tony Stark dreams about; Natasha though is frowning. She knows already that this isn't going to be some heartfelt reunion. Loki purses his lips, "What are you doing here?"
It's not that he hadn't expected this, he'd left them that note after all, it's that he hadn't expected them here like this.
Tony smile vanishes, "No, the real question is what are you doing here?"
I belong here, Loki thinks even if it's not quite true. "No, Stark," he snaps. "That doesn't matter, I'm here because I want to be here."
By now the idiots against the wall have woken up. Bucky at least has the decency to look a little apologetic, Steve on the other hand is glaring at him, like this is his fault. He didn't ask them to come running after him, did he?
Tony's gaze has hardened, maybe he's finally catching on, "We're here to talk some sense into you." He says, clenching his fists. "What the hell are you thinking?"
Loki grits his teeth, "I'm thinking that I'd rather be here than back there with that… with that kidnapper." With that false family.
"This is insane, Loki," Tony says, "You have to see that, right? This man is dangerous."
"So is Odin," Loki snaps.
"That's different," Tony insists. "What about your mother? What about Thor?"
"What about them?" She knew and she did nothing. "Thor is a moron and Frigga is a weak-willed woman. She's been ignoring my fa- Odin's work for years."
Tony makes a low noise in his throat that sounds almost like a growl.
"He doesn't love you, you know," Natasha says, arms crossed, eyes cool. "He'll keep you around and then he'll ransom you off. You know that, right? He probably contacted Odin as soon as we got here. You're a liability, Loki. It's safer for him to get rid of you."
Loki snarls at her, "What would you know of it? None of you have any idea what this feels like! You don't know what it's like to not know where you come from, to have everything change in one night!"
"I do," Bucky says quietly, glowering at Loki. "I know what it's like to not know where you're from or who you belong with or who you are, but you know what? You had a family from day one. Do you know how rare that is you spoilt little brat?"
Loki is so ready to tear him a new one but then Tony's speaking, eyes hard. "How dare you," he growls, "How dare you. You ran away because what? Daddy didn't love you enough? So your dad wasn't a great guy, so what? Did he ever hurt you? Did he ever throw bottles at you because your mom left? Did he ever beat you with a belt for breaking a dish? Did he ever look you in the eye and tell you he'd be happier if you weren't born? Clint's dad does. Bruce's dad does. Did you ever go hungry because your dad spent all his money on alcohol? No. Did your mom run out on you as soon as a better offer came along? No. And Thor, what did he do? So he was a little better liked than you, so what? They loved you Loki. You know it. We know it. And you know what? We love you to. So is that not enough, for some reason? Do you need more?" His voice breaks a little, he blinks hard. "'Cos you're not going to find that here."
Loki stares at him for a long time. There was a time when he thought he might be in love with Tony, not that he'd know what love felt like, but now he felt… nothing. He sighs and steps back towards the door. They're never going to understand.
"I can get you out of here," he says. "Follow me."