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At the train station
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The young lovers held each other's hands as they walked down the steps to the subway. Rin had her head dipped in her musings and Sesshoumaru was looking at the sceneries they passed by, the expressions on his face rather plain and bored. As they arrived at the entry point, he let loose her hand, slight reluctance attacked him.
"I wish you have a wonderful date with your oji-san." He intoned, though indifferent but Rin herself knew better. She shook her head violently in protest.
"Sessh…" She tugged his hand fervently. "You know it's NOT a date! I'll just pass him the key and go… REALLY!"
The boy looked away, a hint of an exasperated sigh escaped his thinned lips. Something from afar caught his attention… someone familiar was coming their direction.
Rin turned subsequently, also seeing and recognizing. It was…. Sara!
Worriedly, the girl released the hand she was holding onto, feeling for a slight instance Sesshoumaru hesitating to let her go. But in the end, he did, after weighing briefly the consequences.
Just as surprised to see the two, the dark hair girl quickened her steps toward them, waving her slender arms as a form of greeting. Rin waved back politely, the other hand giving the boy beside her a nudge to do the same.
"Sara-san, what a surprise to see you here!" The girl gave a forced smile.
"Ne-san… Sesshoumaru-ni-chan…" Sara's cheeks darkened with a blush once she spoke the name of the one she admired, though not getting equal enthusiasm back. "Actually, as you've known, I had been studying in Taiwan for many years and this is the first time I'm back in Japan. So many things have changed… I don't recognize many of the buildings and places. It all seemed so foreign to me. So I thought I'll go on a little tour on my own today, regain my memories of this place that used to be my home. Then I'll decide if I could stay on here."
Sesshoumaru's brows lifted slightly at the idea. He was seemingly interested. "Are you implying that you're finally going to start taking control of your own life?"
Sara flashed a shy smile, nodding. "Hai. And if I can get the one I love, that would be perfect. Even if I don't, I'll also strive on, live life to the fullest, perhaps here, or perhaps, somewhere else."
Rin watched as the boy grinned. Her heart jumped knowing that Sesshoumaru was please with what he was hearing. And before she could start worrying, he had already said it out openly. "Well, then, I'll accompany you."
Instantly, Rin's heart sank as she began to understand better how Sesshoumaru must be feeling knowing that she'll be out with another. This was how she was feeling now … and it sucked!
As the dark hair girl strolled to purchase her travel pass, Sesshoumaru pulled Rin to a corner, his two fingers gently lifting her chin to meet his gaze. "Hey… what's this I'm seeing?" He recognized that sullen face well enough to know she's upset about his most recent decision.
The girl shifted away but he didn't allow her to. He brought her hazels back to his ambers tenderly. "Gal, listen to me." He said lovingly. "You'll go and help your Oji-san find back his memories and I'll help Sara find hers. Then perhaps, we finally can get on with our lives …without them."
After a long pause, Rin nodded.
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At the harbor
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Letting off an audible gasp at the magnificent sea view before her, Sara took deepened breath as she was greeted with gentle gushes of salted breeze. She turned toward the one resting on a wooden bench behind her, smiling elatedly.
"Sesshoumaru-ni-chan, you know, I can speak Mandarin really well." She began to recite an example. "Wo yao he Sesshoumaru yong yuan yi qi."
The boy's brows constricted at the unfamiliar language. He laughed light-heartedly. "Err… I only understand Japanese so… I guess you'll have no use for me around me."
The dark hair girl did not give up. "I can cook many types of Chinese dishes, from dim sum to cakes and dumplings…"
Sesshoumaru smiled a forced smile. "I can only eat."
"Do you wish me to cook them for you?" she implored, not the least loosing her excitement.
"Err… No thanks. It's okay. I think I prefer Japanese… sushi, sashimi, nabe…" He looked away, wishing she'll stop but she didn't.
Sara swung her brightly colored fingers before him proudly. "I can do my own manicure really well.. with lots of pretty patterns…"
The boy swallowed, smiling uncomfortably. "It's too showy for me. I prefer girls without." That instance, he thought of Rin. He had never seen her with elaborately painted nails, just cleanly buffed till they glowed a healthy pink. Only during formal dinners would he see that she had put a transparent coat of shine on them, taking them off the very next day.
Still, Sara hopped to sit beside him, taking out her mobile. "I can type really fast on the phone to send messages… but…" She sighed at a self discovery. "But it's only in Chinese."
Sesshoumaru offered a reluctant nod. "Excellent! But I guess you don't have to send them to me. I don't know a word of Chinese."
After the whole series of rejections, the girl finally fell silent as she lowered her head only to the ground beneath her. "There's no more." She whispered, the boy rather shocked at the statement. He turned to peer at her, examining her.
"All that I've said just now are things I think I'm good at." She admitted in a muted tone. "I wish I could think of many more but… there's no more.
Instantly, Sesshoumaru felt a little guilty at how harsh he was always toward Sara. He stood up, paced till he reached the railing, taking a moment himself to admire the beauty of the harbor, a thin blue line separating the ocean with the sky. So near, yet so far, beyond reach. He concluded, his heart tingled with strange agitation at how similar he felt this description was to his relationship with Rin. She was always so close… and yet he felt like the water and sky with her. He would always pulled her, tugged her, embrace her, trying all ways to keep her by his side. Yet, every time he let her go, be it to school or even to go downstairs to join dad and aunty for dinner, or to sneak back to his room at early dawn, insecurity would strike him hard.
Sometimes, he would wish he could make Rin pregnant. Then, perhaps, they'll be forced to make decisions… and everyone else would be forced to accept them. It would be ugly… but still, it was something done…unlike how they were now, perhaps merely deceiving themselves that they could be together eventually.
No, he rounded his fingers tightly on the metal railings as if wanting to crush it with his bare hands. He shouldn't be thinking all these negative thoughts. He had made a promise to the girl he loved, he had made her believe that she could entrust herself to him… He had… taken from her what was most precious to all girls. And thus, he would go the race with her, till the end, wherever it may lead them.
Hence….Being mean to Sara was indirectly a show of kindness, he decided inwardly. He didn't wish to lead that innocent girl on, when the place in his heart was already taken, fully filled by … by a little vision of heaven… Yes, that was what Rin was to him… a little bit of heaven he thought he could never have. At that silent moment to himself, Sesshoumaru swore internally he would protect the one he loved forever.
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At Rin's old place
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Rin carefully lifted the white linens covering the furniture in the house as she waited for the arrival of her guest. She was just about finished when the door bell rang. Putting the cloths aside neatly in a pile, she headed to the door, turning the knob.
With a bright cheery smile, she greeted the one at the entryway. "May I know who you're looking for?" She pretended like she used to as a child.
Miroku picked up the game immediately. "I'm looking for my student, Rin. She said she has a math test tomorrow… and thus, she will need FIVE paper bags!"
Rin covered her mouth as she chuckled, shaking her head. "WRONG! SIX!"
After a few minutes of jokes, laughter and casual chats, Miroku strolled around the entire house, taking his time examining, remembering the past with his beloved teacher, the times they had spent right here in his study doing research. "Everything looked the same as it used to be, Rin."
From a corner of his eyes, he spotted a making on the wall, his eyes gleamed with renewed excitement.
"Rin, come here!" He beckoned her spiritedly and she complied. "Stand here."
Rin stood, having her height measured as she recalled how they had done that in the past.
"Hey, what did ya know?" Miroku heaved a surprised gasp. "You haven't grown a bit since the last time we measured!"
Rin's face flushed as she folded her arms. "Hey! That's my deepest pain. Don't tease me on that!"
The young man chuckled. "Well, I've always told you that you're the cutie baby face type and you never believed me."
The girl's lips pouted and she reflectively jumped to her own defense. "That's because I was desperately wanting to grow up fast… so that I can become your…." She stopped before she mouthed the word 'girlfriend' as they looked at each other with a strange sort of knowing embarrassment.
A quiet minute went by and Miroku finally smiled, changing the topic. "Rin, your birthday's coming up. What would you like me to get you?"
The girl shook her head politely. "Nah, Miroku-ni-chan, you don't have to…. really."
"How about a really high pair of heels to boost your height?" He flashed her a wink, Rin's cheeks puffed up like a fish.
"I didn't come here to be teased constantly." She accused, narrowing her eyes but he patted her shoulder gently.
"I'm sorry. I was just joking." Miroku's expressions turned more solemn. "I remembered I gave you a diary during your first year in high school. Did you use it? We even took a picture together that year."
Rin nodded, offering a sweet smile of thanks. "That diary was like a secret box for me, containing all my dreams, aspirations and memories of childhood." She heaved a little sigh as memories flooded in. "If I were to put a mark on every of my birthdays, then… that year… was the happiest year in my life…because everyone whom I love was there with me… you, mom and dad." She paused, swallowing a lump in her throat. "Before that year, I never knew what the word 'sorrow' meant…but then, dad died so suddenly and you left for your studies…."
Miroku's eyes flew shut as a wave of pain welled up within him at the girl's words. He listened on intently.
"From then on, by ourselves, mom and I took everything in stride, working really hard to carry on with our lives, to move on, beyond the sad memories…." Rin fought back a tear. "And from that year onward, I stopped writing diaries." She met Miroku's eyes, her hazels glistening. "Just now, you said that everything looked the same as they used to be…but…"
He intercepted her with a hint of equal sadness. "But I know… in your heart, everything is different now."
A corner of Rin's lips uplifted, admitting to him honestly. "Not entirely different. It just…. has changed."
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Along the beach
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Sesshoumaru watched in a distance as the dark haired girl strolled along the sandy path, enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun. His ambers shifted, picking it something glittering in the glare at a nearby antique store. Coolly, he went up, picking up the item from a selection of others of its kind. It was silver ring, ornamented with gems shaped in a design of a dragonfly. He titled its angles, watching in fascination as the colored differed slightly with every movement. Indeed, it was a unique piece of jewelry, exquisitely crafted.
"Are you going to give it to that girl over there?" The boy looked up, taken aback. It was the shopkeeper and he was pointing in the direction of Sara. "I don't think she suits this ring."
Sesshoumaru laughed at the comment, peering at him incredulously. "I always thought that every sales person would only say 'it's nice, it's suitable, buy it' sort of things. You are certainly one of a kind."
The shopkeeper merely chuckled on. "That's because I feel that every girl has a gem that uniquely suits their character. This one you're holding, it lets off a pale blue and pearly white glow… like the moonlight. That's why it's called the Moonstone."
A smile uplifted on the boy's face. "That's just perfect…because I plan to give this to the one who lights up my heart… my little moonlight…"
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In Miroku's car
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Rin fidgeted nervously as they neared her house. She had asked Miroku to drop her at the nearest train station because she didn't wish that they would run into Sesshoumaru. But the young man had insisted to send her home.
"Err… Miroku-ni-chan, you can just alight me there in front. I need to get something from the stores before going home." She briefly cooked up an excuse and it worked apparently. Miroku stopped the car at a passenger drop off point.
"Thank you for a wonderful time today, ni-chan, bye." Rin smile broadly, then got off the car and started walking away.
The young man watched her as the distance between them increased, his heart battling whether to go after her. He had intended to tell Rin that he still had feelings for her that day, just that the words just couldn't come out. But if he didn't do it now, he probably never will get another chance. With that, Miroku clicked open the door, dashing out after the girl. "RIN! RIN!"
The girl halted, shocked when she turned back seeing the young man coming her way at lightning pace. Miroku reached her side, circled his arms round her, bringing her into a warm embrace. Rin stood speechless, not knowing what to think, how to react to this sudden display of passion. She merely waited for him to speak first.
"Rin, I've been thinking a lot of us lately…." He tightened his hold on her. "…that I shouldn't have left you behind and gone to the States. If I hadn't left, perhaps in all these years that passed, when you were sad or depressed, I would be the one to wipe the tears from your face, to be by your side offering you a shoulder to cry on…. Or even like this… tightly hugging you in my arms…."
Rin did not move. She merely listened, her face growing hotter by the second as she was flushed with a myriad of thoughts, memories and emotions. From a distance, a dark figure stopped, his ambers focused heinously in their direction. Sesshoumaru stared at the too intimate scene before, the one casting his girl and the one he most hated at this point in his life. Though Rin wasn't hugging him back, she wasn't retaliating either.
"Rin…" The girl obviously didn't know of Sesshoumaru's presence, being too absorbed by Miroku's words. "You know, whatever sensei wishes to give you, to provide for you… I wanted with all my heart to do the same, in the past, now and forever."
That was it! Sesshoumaru's mind blew up in a pinnacle of rage and jealousy and he began storming toward the two, his eyes never leaving the girl who was now in the arms of another. He marched across the road, not the least noticing that a car was speeding toward him. He stood shocked to the ground as the horn blasted and lights from the vehicle flashed blindingly in front of his eyes.
"SESSHOUMARU-NI-CHAN!" Sara dashed after him, Rin and Miroku both turned.
"SESSH!" Rin screamed on the top of her voice as she saw the car coming nearer and nearer to the one she loved, her heart shocked to a stop.
And everything happened as if in a split second. Sara pushed the boy aside, taking his place as the car screeched to a halt a mere inch away from colliding with her. Though she wasn't crushed by the vehicle, she fell onto the tarred road in terror, Sesshoumaru rushing to her side to help her up. Together, the four headed hurriedly to the nearest hospital to tend to Sara's wounds.
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Outside the Emergency Ward
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Sesshoumaru leant himself against a wall, his head dipped in deepened musings as Miroku paced toward him. He put a soft hand on the boy's shoulder. "Sesshoumaru, it wasn't your fault. You don't have to feel guilty about it. It was an accident."
The boy shoved his hand away, his cold stares were hard on the young coach. "You're thinking too much. I don't need your opinion on this or anything else." He discontinued his speech as he sighted his girl and Sara appearing from the door of the ward. Immediately, he sprang toward them.
"Sesshoumaru-ni-chan, are you okay?" The dark hair girl implored earnestly, forgetting her own injuries and Rin flinched, both with guilt and concern.
Instantly, a scurry of red cruised pass the boy's ambers. "I was pushed away by you, how am I not going to be okay?" His tone was loud, accusing. "I'm not pleased with being saved by a girl and next time, will you just stop doing things like this?"
Rin gulped at his words. Something inside her pinched hurtfully.
Rin's narration
Even though Sesshoumaru's words were cold, harsh… I can feel that he's actually concerned about Sara… She had risked her life to save his… To him, it meant something … surely…
Why wasn't I the one who had run after Sessh? Why wasn't I the one to push him away to safety? The one I love…. was rescued by another girl….
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Outside the hospital
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Miroku and Rin helped Sara into the car, Sesshoumaru following behind them without a word. With a wave, the young coach offered an invitation. "Hey, Rin, Sesshoumaru, I'll send you guys home, then Sara too."
Rolling his ambers, the boy started walking away, without even a word of 'no' or 'thanks' and in his heart, he prayed to God that Rin would follow him. The girl got really anxious, seeing him take leave just like that. Hurriedly, she said her goodbyes to the two, wanting to join the boy as quickly as she could.
"Err… Miroku-ni-chan, thanks but Sessh and I will just walk home ourselves. I'll really appreciate if you can send Sara-san home." She turned to the dark hair girl. "Sara-san, if you feel the sting in your legs at night, remember to take the pain killer."
But Sara simply smiled cheerily. "Rin-ne-san, it's okay. I'll be fine. I'm so happy today."
"Happy?" Rin was clouded, the unrest feeling was swarming in her once again.
"Hai…." Sara's eyes beamed with joy. "Today, I got to spend the whole day with Sesshoumaru-ni-chan. We went to a lot of places and talked a lot. I even saved him from getting hurt."
Rin gulped uncomfortably, the young man beheld every expression on the girl's face. A voice startled them. "Rin, Ikuzo!" It was Sesshoumaru. He had stopped a few feet away, waiting for the girl.
"Miroku-ni-chan, can you please help Sessh explain to Sara's family so that they will not blame him for her accident?" Rin pleaded and the voice echoed again, this time, much more agitated and annoyed.
"RIN! I said LET'S GO!" He roared and with that, the girl hurried to his side, waving her last good night to the young man.
Miroku watched as Sesshoumaru rounded his arm on the girl possessively, pulling her along as they left.
After they had travel a safe distance from the car, Sesshoumaru brought the girl to meet his gaze. "Why are you budding into this thing? Just drop it, will you?"
Rin frowned, hurt by his words. "You don't have to put it that way Sessh!" She bit on her lips fretfully. "I know I did something you don't approve of… to let Miroku-ni-chan send Sara-san home. But that's because I think he's responsible, matured and he can be trusted."
The boy rolled his eyes, heaving a loud growl at the praises his girl was adorning the coach. "OH PLEASE! Not that again!"
"Sessh… don't you understand?" She met his ambers with firmness. "Whenever things happen… especially when it concerns you, I'm always more affected, more worried, more nervous than usual. That's because you matter a lot to me… because I love you."
Rin could no longer control herself as tears flooded her cheeks. She sobbed continually as the boy's heart softened greatly both at the sight of her now and her previous words. "Sessh… do you know how worried I was when Sara saved you from the accident. I thought perhaps… you might be touched by her and accept the marriage arranged by Kaede-ba-san…"
"Don't utter nonsense, baka!" With that, Sesshoumaru pulled Rin to him, their mouths closed on each other in a hard frenzied kiss. He dried her tears, hold her hand in his as he led her homeward, and though he said nothing after that, his mind was chanting the same thing over and over. I… Rin…. I'm the one who's afraid that you'll be taken from me by a past memory… a past love….
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The next day in the basketball club room
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Rin made a list of the task for the day, her mind pondering over the latest development of the accident that occurred the night before.
Rin's narration
Kaede-ba-san called and insisted the Sessh send Sara home everyday till she recovers, reasons being that she got hurt when going out with Sessh….
And no matter how reluctant Sesshoumaru was, he felt guilty and agreed to it. (sighs) I can no longer go home with Sessh alone… even that little private time we have together… is now taken from us…
Her thoughts were put to an end as Naraku and Hojo entered the room. They peered around, making sure no one was around before confronting the girl.
"Hey, Rin, I heard that Sara was injured last night." Naraku started first. "How did it happen?"
Hojo interrupted, though not as polite. "I heard that the accident happened because Sesshoumaru caught you red handed with the coach doing something indecent in public." Naraku pulled him back but he persisted on. "And Sara was the one who saved Sesshy. I think you have a long to go learning how to be a faithful woman to her man."
The words had definitely an effect on the girl. All in a moment, everything flooded back within her, the guilt, the hurt, the envy…. A deep voice rang out behind them.
"What are you implying?" Rin turned. It was Sesshoumaru! Naraku and Hojo gulped in fear as their leader came down the steps to their side. His ambers indicated he wasn't at all pleased with what he had overheard. He tugged on Hojo's shirt, pulling him to meet his eyes. "Next time, if you have a question, come to me directly."
Letting go and seeing that the two had fled for their lives, Sesshoumaru turned to face the girl, now coming to his side. Her eyes were listless, he noted with concern but he didn't show it. "Sessh… you don't have to be so harsh on them. They mean no harm."
The boy breathed a sigh. "You're the one who got a earful, isn't it?"
He had wished to console her further, knowing very well how she was feeling but someone else came into the club, interrupting their conversation. It was Inuyasha.
"Rin! Have you prepared for the meeting later?" He enquired urgently.
The girl's face turned instantly pale. She hadn't forgotten totally about it. It had slipped her mind, for obvious reasons.
"Sesshoumaru-ni-chan, can we go now?" Sara popped her head into room, making situations worse.
Rin pursed her lips, torn between her duty as the manager and going home with the one she loved. She rubbed her fist together, greatly tormented.
What should I do? I can't make myself ask Sessh to stay and wait for me….
The young lovers exchanged glances filled with a mix of confusion, hurt, insecurity and unknown frustration.
"So, you can't go home with us, can you?" Sesshoumaru tested her, his tone strangled and yet, stubborn.
"I-I have a meeting." Rin just couldn't mouth the words no matter how hard she wished he'd stay. "I can't just leave."
Just then, Miroku too entered the room, noting the tension between the two immediately. And taking one look at the dark hair girl at the exit, he knew what exactly the problem was about. "Rin, the meeting's about to begin." He said plainly, taking down Rin's dilemma.
Smacking his lips at the hated intruder, Sesshoumaru let off a fake chuckle. "Well then, ne-san, I guess Sara and I will have to go first. I can't send her home late."
With that, he left, leaving behind a girl who was almost in tears.
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On the way to Sara's house
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Throughout the journey, the boy's heart did not feel in place. He cursed himself for treating his girl so harshly before he left her with that Oji-san. He didn't want to, just that he didn't know why he did it. He knew fully well that it wasn't Rin's fault she had to stay. Perhaps, he was merely tired…. Tired of always having to surrender and give in to unforeseen circumstances.
Suddenly, his mobile sounded and Sesshoumaru hurriedly rummaged his bag in search of it, fishing it out as he turned away to receive the call. Together with the phone, something else fell out, something of significance, something glittering under the early moonlight.
"What? Aunty? Rin? She's not home yet?" The boy hung up and instantly felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned.
"Sesshoumaru-ni-chan, you don't have to walk me home any further. It's close enough already. I'll go home myself." She smiled as the boy nodded and left. His mind was totally on the girl he loved. Izayoi had called and mentioned how unsafe it was in the neighborhood and that Rin was not home yet. Shit! He cursed again. He shouldn't have left her on her own. He sped up into a sprint back to the basketball club.
Sara was about to be on her way, after watching for a while the boy's back view. But her heels grazed past something hard on the ground. She looked down. It was glittering in the reflected street lamp. It was … a ring! She picked it up carefully, looking at the slowly diminishing shadow of Sesshoumaru, then back to the ring again.
This is Sesshoumaru's! This ring! He meant to give it to someone.
Her dark eyes widened.
Does Sesshoumaru have a lover?
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