Chapter Six: Pain Eraser. Or, Shitty Ideas.

"I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all." And Tessa doubted it'd hurt more than her heart did.

It was like her chest was constricted, her heart being twisted in her chest. It fucking hurt, and she wasn't sure how much more she could stand of it before she needed a break. Ten minutes into trying to pull herself together, and already she needed a break. Of course she did; under normal circumstance, she'd be wallowing at home, under some blankets in the dark, crying and doing nothing, not eating, not drinking, not sleeping until pure exhaustion caught up to her. But here, she had to be stronger.

He poured some of the peroxide onto a cotton pad. He glanced at her, her determined expression, before swiping across the cut on her shoulder. Tessa screamed, the pain catching her off guard, her hands flying to grab the edge of the desk to hold herself still, eyes squeezing shut.

"Holy – fucking – hell!" She gasped out between clenched teeth.

There was knocking at the door, and it opened slightly. Charlie poked her head inside, "Are you okay?"

Tessa squelched another scream with difficulty, letting out a strangled half-scream instead, her fingers gripping the edge of the desk with a steel grasp. She couldn't let go; her fingers were clamped too tight, and she needed something to hang onto. Blinding pain shot through her shoulder, like she was being stabbed all over again. Again and again.

"I'm sorry," Michael muttered right before he poured more peroxide on her shoulder. Another scream let loose out her mouth before she got a hold of it. Charlie looked like she was in pain just watching her.

"Just fine," Tessa gritted out between her clenched teeth, giving Charlie a painful grin. "Never felt better. You don't have to hang around."

She looked grateful Tessa gave her the out option, and she quickly closed the door up behind her.

He cleaned the wound, and eventually it went numb. She calmed down, bit by bit. When she no longer needed something to hold onto, she leaned back, giving him more space to her arm.

She reopened her eyes and looked up to see Michael, concentrating on her arm, and very close. Her legs were hooked together, so he had to lean forward. She knew from experience that after a while, the strain in his back would start to hurt as he held himself in that awkward, semi-hunched position. Unthinkingly, she unhooked her ankles and moved her thighs apart so he could move closer and not have to lean. He stepped into it easily, one leg between her thighs, the other on the other side of her leg so he could get close to the wound. He was intimately close, closer than anyone had been for a long time. The thought made her blush.

He finished wiping away the blood, cleaning out the cut, before sterilizing the needle and thread. She looked away as he started to sew her skin together. It was disconcerting, only feeling a slight pressure in her arm as something sharp pushed through her flesh. She looked at Michael.

His neck was at her eye level as he crouched over slightly so he could look closely at what he was sewing. His face was to the side of hers, and she traced the ink patterns with her eyes, wondering what they meant. Impulsively, she thought about how easy it would be to kiss his neck. She licked her lips, before shaking her head to get rid of those tempting thoughts.

She held back a self-deprecating laugh. She was sure Tiffany was right; sex did block out the pain, her issues, everything she wanted to forget. How could she be so sure – because she was only thinking about kissing his neck, and that seemed to work pretty damn well.

She had to get her mind off him. She cleared her throat and said quietly, because he was right there and she felt the need to whisper almost, "Dylan was right. Or, the thing possessing him was."

She didn't know why she said it. It was on her mind, running through her thoughts and taunting her, so it just slipped out.

"What do you mean?" He mumbled, his mind clearly occupied already as his hands moved slowly and efficiently.

"I mean, he was right. I sucked as their guardian." She swallowed, averting her eyes from the skin of his neck and down to the ground. She wanted to take the words back. They were too raw. She didn't want to talk about it yet. But she'd already started, and it might help if she spoke them aloud.

"You did your best."

She rolled her eyes. It was such a standard, generalised response; like when people had to take an exam. Their friends would talk them up; you'll do great, it'll be fine; stupid replies like that, that might not even be true. But you said them anyway to make the person doing the exam feel better. Tessa didn't want him to dismiss this topic in that way. "How could you possibly know that? You don't know me."

His eyes slid across to her face for a split second, before returning to her shoulder, "I've watched you before."

And the funny thing was, it didn't even sound stalker-ish. But that could have just been the fact that he was an archangel. Or, was. "Oh. Um. When, exactly?"

She squeezed her eyes shut, please don't say at night when I was working, please don't say that!

He shrugged his shoulders and didn't answer. She couldn't tell if it was because he was too polite to say 'when you were dancing to get guys rocks off', or because he actually couldn't remember.

"Well, if you've watched me, then you probably know where we lived; in that shitty apartment, in a dangerous area. What good guardian makes a kid live there? I was always late to pick them up from school. Amy got in fights often, even though I lost count of the number of times I told her not to solve her problems with violence."

"She heard your words, but she also saw what you were trying to hide; you were proud of her."

"That's my point!" Tessa said emphatically. "What guardian is proud of their kid for getting in a fight? What guardian likes that their kid is tough, tough enough to not care if they're in a fight and to hold their own and not let themselves be intimidated? Dylan was bullied, and that's my failure too."

"Tessa," he said, and she jerked slightly; that was the first time he'd said her name. She liked the way it sounded coming from him. "You made sure they had enough to eat, they never went hungry, they always had clean clothes to wear to school. You dropped everything to go to them for whatever reason. You loved them, you gave them your everything. I'd say they had the best guardian they could ask for."

She blinked when her eyes got wet, looking up at the ceiling. She didn't want to cry in front of Michael. She didn't believe him this time, about this.

She cleared her throat. "That's not all he said though," she whispered. "It's not all he was right about. I, uh, I…danced."

"I know."

She shook her head, "I don't mean, like dance around the living room to a song you like, or dance professionally, or anything decent like that."

"I know," he repeated, and his eyes slid to hers, and she realized he was letting her know she didn't have to tell him anything. He was being gentle, considerate. It pissed her off. She didn't deserve that, and she wanted to be harsh then, make him flinch at how crass she was, how…sinful. He had been an archangel before; sin probably disgusted him, and she wanted to make him uncomfortable. She wanted him to be disgusted with her. She wanted him to get it.

"I danced on a stage for money. I took my clothes off for guys, lots of guys; guys I didn't know, guys I wasn't married to. I danced around a pole, I acted like a slut for them. I did that for money. And I didn't care that I did." She didn't even blink, and she kept her eyes on his, gauging him, searching for the reaction she wanted from him. She wanted him to flinch. To jerk back from her. To look at her with disgust.

He didn't.

"You did what you felt you had to, for those kids," he stated calmly. He didn't look away from her eyes, either. Jesus, the deep, beautiful blue of them just cut right through her anger, her attempts to make him show some contempt towards her.

"Yeah, but did I have to, really? Did I really actually have to do that?" She asked him harshly, as he cut the end of the thread, and wiped the cut again, leaning back. "That's what makes me sick with myself; maybe I just liked it. Maybe I just liked knowing that every guy in that room wanted me to completely undress, wanted to see me naked. Maybe that's all I was really worth; a cheap dance, a slutty outfit. Maybe…"

He looked at her sharply, and the look he was giving her was enough for her to stop talking.

No one had looked at her the way he was looking at her in years. Like she was the only person in the world, like she was the only one who mattered, like she was so much more than what she was, and she herself just didn't know it. It was a big turn on. And considering she hadn't had sex in years, it didn't really come as all that of a shock. She was pretty sure that if the chair sent an appreciative glance her way, it would be enough for her to come undone, for her composure to unravel.

That was what she was; desperate, lonely and horny. And boy, did she just want to jump him.

She wanted him to make her feel better. She wanted him to take all the pain and anger and self-disgust she was holding onto and morph it into something better, something she certainly didn't deserve.

In a quick movement, before she could stop herself, she grabbed a hold of the front of his shirt and yanked him towards her. It took him by surprise, and he lost his balance, his hands flying forwards and landing on the desk either side of her to stop himself falling onto her. Not that she would have minded all that much. For a nanosecond, they looked at each other, faces inches apart. And then Tessa launched her lips at Michael's, closing that distance faster than he could blink.

He was just there. He was there, at the right time, saying the right things, looking at her the right way. What she needed was to not feel so alone, because that was all she did feel; alone. And God, he was just there.

She wanted human contact, skin-against-skin comfort. She wanted him to take her pain away, and she knew it wasn't fair of her to do that to him, but at that moment, she didn't care. She didn't care that it wasn't fair, she didn't care if she really shouldn't. All she did care about was the physical, and how it could wipe out the emotional.

She moved her lips against his, and after an initial hesitation, he gave in, responding to her. It started out slow, gentle, restrained. But when she ran her tongue over his bottom lip, it changed. He grabbed her hips, wrenching her off the table as he spun them around, backing them up until her back slammed into the wall. The thin bookcase against the wall beside them bounced off it slightly at the force of their bodies. Her legs flew up, wrapping around his hips, their bodies pressing together intimately. His lips became rough and dominating against hers, and she hungrily kissed him back.

Slowly, she forgot about everything else. He took it all away. He made it better. Every kiss was a promise that things would be okay, every caress was a vow that nothing would happen to her, that Amy and Dylan would be fine where they were now. Bit by bit, her pain receded, replaced by the sensations running through her body.

She ran her hands up his arms and into his short hair, pulling him closer, their mouths fighting for dominance as his tongue explored the wet cavern of her mouth. His hands, gripping her hips, ran up her sides, sending sparks across her skin and heating her blood as he traced invisible patterns. It was hot and desperate; her skin felt like it was on fire as they acted with quick, desperate movements. This wasn't the love-me-slowly kind. This was the desperate take-me-now kind.

She slid her hands under his shirt, touching the hard contours of his muscled chest and stomach, pressing along the ridges, as she pushed the shirt up and over his head. His hands grabbed her breasts, palms massaging the soft mounds through the material as his fingers ran over the incredibly delicate skin exposed at the top of her bra. She moaned into his mouth, deepening the kiss. His hips ground against hers, the growing bulge in his pants pressing against her sex. She rolled her hips as they rubbed against each other.

She pulled her mouth away from his, gasping in a deep breath, her lungs fit to bursting point. His eyes flew open in response to her moving away, wondering if he'd done something wrong, "What?"

She shook her head. "Needed to breathe," she panted.

That seemed to be enough time for their heads to clear and catch up to their actions. Michael looked down at his hands covering her breasts firmly, before seeming to realize what he was doing and jerking his hands off her. Then he seemed to also realize he was pressing his developing erection against her, a human woman, very intimately, and he started to move away. She tried not to smile at how he kind of reminded her of an over-eager and under-experienced teenager getting some for the first time.

But she wanted him to keep going. She wanted the growing pleasure in her core to intensify, to make her feel good, rather than pain. She needed him to keep going. She clenched her thighs to keep holding onto him, and she reached her good arm up behind her, unhooking the clasp of her bra and baring herself to him. She dropped the bra to the ground.

His eyes automatically dropped, and he froze mid-way through disentangling their hips. He licked his lips, his hooded eyes watching the rise and fall of her exposed breasts as she panted. "Touch me. Take away the pain. Please, Michael."

He groaned, his hips jerking forward against hers, and his rough fingers moved to tease the sensitive buds of her nipples. She arched her back, the delirious sensation of his skin against hers when he pushed her back up against the wall. His hands cupped her breasts, watching intently as he rubbed the puckered nipples. His head dipped down, and she moaned loudly when his hot, wet tongue swirled around the areola. Slowly, he trailed a wet path up her chest, sucking and biting her skin as he moved his lips to torment the delicate skin of her neck. She moved her head to the side to give him more room, her back arching further as his fingers replaced his mouth at her breasts. She rocked her hips against his.

This was what she wanted. This was what she needed.

"Being human is…a lot more intense…than I thought," he panted against her skin, leaning his forehead against her good shoulder, moving his mouth away to look at her.

"You can say that again," she gasped, and his mouth moved back to her neck, sucking and biting and licking. "Oh, God."

His mouth froze on her neck.

"Maybe…" His hot breath ran across her skin, tickling her ear. "We should stop."

"No. I don't care."

All at once, his ministrations stopped. His fingers at her chest, his mouth on her neck, his hips grinding against hers. It all stopped. She moaned, irritated, cracking open her eyes to glare at him, "Why did you stop?"

It came out breathy and desperate, and not at all as commanding and deadly as she had meant it to be. "You'll regret it."

She looked at him like he was crazy. He looked at her like it was killing him to say it, like he was in pain. "No, I won't. I want this."

He shook his head, catching his breath. He didn't move, letting them calm down, letting their breathing slow, and their heart rates return to normal. She growled, trying to pull his mouth back down on hers, but it was like kissing a wall. He didn't respond. She tossed her head back in defeat, and it collided with the wall. She groaned in pain, and he looked at her again.

"What you want is to not feel anymore," he said lowly. "And I'm not going to use that against you."

She swallowed thickly, her breathing still hard. It had been hot and fast-paced. If they had kept going, it would have been rough and aggressive, the I-need-you-now, I'm-desperate-for-you kind of sex; animalistic and raw.

She wondered if angels even had sex. Did he know what sex felt like? Did he know what it felt like for a human? If he only became human last night, then he would only just be getting a handle on it all. How overwhelming it was, with sensations; touch and taste and sound and sight. The way the blurred together to create pure pleasure. It'd probably caught him off guard how intense it was. How overpowering and all-consuming it was.

He moved away from her, unwrapping her legs and gently letting her go. They couldn't hold her weight, and she slowly slid to the ground, staring at the carpet, blinking. Michael turned, going around the desk and sitting in the chair, looking down at his lap with a frown, his chest rapidly rising and falling.

He was a fucking amazing kisser.

Thanks for reading!

I hope you guys are enjoying it so far still!

And they didn't have sex. It wasn't even about sex so much as it was about sensation, and how it could block out everything else. They weren't going to make love because they're in love. Not yet anyway. At the moment, they're in the stages of attraction, and Tessa is having to cope with a whole lot. All she wants is a moment of peace inside her head, where she doesn't have to think about all the crap that's happening. And, you know, she wanted Michael to give that peace to her.

:D

Review-replies:

Alaria von Ravencroft: Thanks for reviewing! Haha, a lot is going on inside his head, poor Michael. And more than just the stitches. I hope you liked this chapter; it gave a little more away of what was going on inside his head, but not all that much. Thanks again! :D

Slake13: Haha, I'm sorry1 I swear, I'm the most unreliable updater! I'm sorry it takes me so long to get the chapters out! Thank you! I'm glad you think my diction flows well and that my story intrigues you! Hopefully it still intrigues you with this chapter! Thanks so much for leaving a review! It means a lot to me!

Koryandrs: Hey! Thanks for reviewing this story as well! I'm glad you liked Tessa in the previous chapter, and the ending1 I hope you liked this chapter as well!

Haphazard Suy: No, problem and thank you! I definitely want to keep writing this, and I'm glad you think it's a perfectly fine story! Thank you so much for the fantastic critique! I'm really glad you think the dynamic is paced right. And yeah, the "becoming human" aspect is entertaining for me to write, as well! There will definitely be more scenes to do with that, I think! :D I think you got it perfectly there – Michael is definitely surprised at himself, and Tessa has those issues of inadequacy. They'll be addressed in future chapters :D And oh my god, don't even get me started on his lips. They're just perfect. I can't even. :D

Watergoddesskasey: Thanks for reviewing again! It's so nice to log on and find a review from someone who's been constantly reviewing! I'm glad you liked the chapter and that you think it keeps getting more awesome! I do try, and your words are just encouragement! Thank you so much! I hope you like this chapter too!

DovieDM-1991-Promised Wings: Thank you so much for reading this story! I'm really glad you liked the chapter! Maybe this chapter gave you some ideas as to his thoughts on Tessa! I hope you liked it, anyway! Thanks so much for reviewing though! Means a lot :D

Louise101: Thank you so much! No, no, it hasn't been abandoned! I'm just a terribly unreliable updater! I try to go by a certain rhythm, but what I like to write depends on my mood, so sometimes I update some stories more than others! I'm really, really pleased you like it though and that you want to read more, because I have quite a bit planned! I even have continuing stories planned for when the movie ends! Thanks so much for reviewing! It means a lot to me!

Cooky Crumbla: Thank you! I'm stoked you're interested in reading more! I hope you liked this chapter too, and I swear to try to update more often, but don't hold me to that! I'm unreliable – it's sad but true! Thanks so much for leaving a review! :D

Crystal-Wolf-Guardian-967: Thank you! I'm stoked you loved it, of course, and that you can't wait for more. Though, I certainly did make you wait! Sorry! And thanks for reviewing my other stories as well! It's so cool when I see familiar usernames leaving reviews to a bunch of my different stories. Gives me warm fuzzies :D

Hidansgirl1234: Thank you, haha! I'm glad you 'LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT!'! I hope you like this chapter too! Thanks so much for leaving a review! It means a lot to me! :D

Peyton16: Yeah, I like the movie too :D Thank you, I'm stoked you love this story! Gah, I know! I'm so sorry! Sometimes it takes me a while to actually write a chapter! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too! Thanks so much for reviewing! :D