xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
At the basketball club
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Throughout the entire meeting, Miroku's gaze did not once leave the girl sitting opposite him at the table. Rin, she looked so lost, disturbed and in a daze, not the least concentrating on what was being discussed.
He took in a deep breath, taking a moment off her and focusing on his own dilemma… one which had arose because of an unexpected visit the night before, after he had sent Sara home.
Flashback
After he had parked his car, the young coach decided to sit in it for a little longer, taking a break finally after a long eventful day. As his eyes drifted closed with extended musings of Rin, of his sensei and of what he had spoken to the girl about, a sudden knocking on the car window alerted him to open his eyes and turn toward the source of disturbance.
He squinted… gasped… It was Sango!
With a clipped pull of the handle, the door opened and Miroku stepped out, greeting her with a slight smile and then strode to the bonnet of the vehicle, seating himself there.
"So… How did it go?" Sango was the first to start the conversation. "You were out with Rin today, weren't you? So, did you finally have the courage to express what you feel about her?"
His head dipped to the ground, Miroku nodded silently and Sango gave a heave of forced grin. "So, did you get the answer you wished for?" Her tone was tinted with anxiousness, though she had tried to conceal it.
"I'm not sure." The young coach returned the forced smile with his own. "Something… an accident happened and we didn't get to finish our conversation."
The young lady let off a slight sigh of relief, looking skyward. "Then, perhaps before you arrive at a decision… I'll tell you MY decision first."
Miroku's brows rose with a mix of curiosity and unease. "What do you mean?"
Sango met his gaze with her own intense ones. "I know that next Tuesday is Rin's birthday." She walked to his side, her eyes not leaving his. "I've decided that I'll not see you again until that day because…. I don't wish to affect or interfere with your decision." She sighed to herself rather resignedly. "But from the first minute of Wednesday, twelve am sharp, I'll give you a whole 24 hours to think about us… to decide if we have a future together. And I believe… if you truly decide to love me, you'll show me your sincerity… you'll want to make me stay."
The young man's brows furrowed deeper as he shook his head. "I-I don't understand." Why is she trying to make things harder for me? He mused. For a moment, he felt a little taken aback by this sudden resolution. It had added to the already complicated emotions in his heart.
Sango gave a laugh, more of a smirk actually at how he was dismissing her already. She bit a lip. "I think…It's not that you do not understand… It's that you do not WISH to understand." She flipped her soft hair gently as she fought back a tear. "From friends to lovers… I've waited far too long. And if after that 24 hours, if you still insist that you do not understand…" She chuckled painfully. "Then… I'll understand your decision perfectly. I-I'll give up on you totally and move on." A tear escaped her eye, tracing a wet path down her cheek. "Miroku…."
Sango wrapped her arms round the one she had given all her love to, the one whom she had spent the last five summers and winters with, the one who till this night couldn't decide whether he loved her. She hugged him tightly… she thought… for the last time. Then, taking in a breath, she let go, her finger lightly moved to flick off the fluid from her cheek, she achingly paced away no matter how her heart was fighting for her to stayt.
The sounds of packing instantly called to the attention of the young coach that the meeting had ended. He peered around, seeing that everyone in the committee was arranging their belongings and he gasped. What's Rin?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Outside the school
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Running after her, Miroku finally caught the silhouette of the girl just in front of the gate. "Rin!" He called out and she turned her head, her long sable hair dancing in the night breeze.
"Miroku-ni-chan." Her voice was lifeless, tired, nothing more than a whisper.
"How're you going home? Sesshoumaru had left, hadn't he?" He reached her side, panting slightly. "Let me send you home. It's not safe for a girl to go home alone so late in the night."
Miroku examined the girl in front of him, instantly picking up the tension. Rin's hazels were moving left to right, as if pondering to speak about something. Knowingly, he implored her. "Rin, you were very distracted just now at the meeting." He recalled the afternoon during his lesson as well. "And also, you weren't exactly concentrating in class either today." He chuckled, trying to sound light-hearted. "My lessons must be really boring."
Upon hearing that, Rin shook her head violently, contritely. "No, no, of course not! I-I…I used to enjoy so much your lessons during my high school days."
"But now, you're no longer paying attention." He smiled with a slight accusing tone.
"That's because…." Rin jumped to explain immediately but he had intercepted her.
"I know…." He met her gaze intently and the girl fell silent. He forced a smile. "When I was at your old place yesterday, I have already realized… that you were no longer that little girl who always depended on me for help and assistance." He scratched his head, pained by his own statement. "I admit… On one hand, I was happy that you're all grown up and have become independent. But on the other hand… I felt… really depressed." He lifted her chin with a finger. "And now, on your face…. There's always this complicated expression…Is it because of… Sesshoumaru?"
Rin's heart jumped at the mention of the name of the one she loved. She did not answer but her mind was instantly lost with images of the boy. Her chains of thoughts were only broken when she heard Miroku's chuckles.
"There, again…." He met her eyes teasingly. "You have that complicated expression on your face again… a little confused but yet, filled with so much gentleness and passion…" He laughed a little louder, a little more resignedly. "You're indeed no longer the same little girl that I used to know." When he saw that she had gasped in response, he corrected himself. "I don't mean that I do not like the way you are now, don't misunderstand….I think it's great how you've become."
They took a little stroll in the park, Miroku was in front and Rin followed behind him. After an extended pause, the girl finally spoke her mind. "Miroku-ni-chan, don't regret going for your studies in the States."
On hearing that, Miroku stopped in his pace, though not turning to face her. "Ni-chan, I want you to know that… we've never blamed you for leaving… because mom and I knew that it was dad's greatest wish for you to further your studies there. You were his favorite student and he had placed high expectations on you."
The young man's head dipped as a lump set in his throat. He did not speak, just wishing to listen as the girl continued. "Mom and I… we've worked hard everyday to move on… and now, mom has found her happiness… I know…. I will too…"
Miroku turned finally, watching as Rin was smiling so brilliantly at him, he reflectively smiled back, the image of Sango suddenly flashing in his mind to his surprise. "And I will too…" And there on that spot, the young coach made his decision to let go.
"And my memories with Miroku-ni-chan…" The girl's smile broadened. "…will be the best memories I've ever had… forever!"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
In Miroku's car
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Though his main task was on the wheels, Miroku did not forget to pass occasional glances at the girl beside him, noticing in his dismay that Rin had gone all silent and sullen again. Her mind seemed to be somewhere far away.
He tapped her shoulder gently. "Still thinking about Sesshoumaru and Sara?"
"Is it that obvious?" Rin confessed honestly, shaking her head. "I-I'm so useless… so easily feeling insecure over such small matters…"
"Didn't you say that you'll find your own happiness?" He gave her a wink of encouragement. "You must have faith in yourself."
Rin breathed out a deepened sigh. "But sometimes, I really feel so suffocated… our identities as siblings… no one will give us their blessings… and his grandmother had even arranged a marriage for him…" She shook her head, pained by a thought which just emerged. "And my greatest fear… is that mom and uncle's happiness will be affected because of me. Mom had suffered so much and now that she'd finally found someone to depend on, someone who would take care of her…I…I would be the one to ruin it all."
Seeing that the girl was almost in tears, Miroku wished nothing more than to sooth her. "This relationship is a taboo, is forbidden but if you look at it in another way, it's also a form of test." He flashed her a smile. "And if you and Sesshoumaru can overcome all these obstacles… then… it serves to confirm your love for each other…" He winked again. "It's difficult…. You have to persevere."
"Mm…" Rin nodded in immense appreciation, her whole being seemed to just lighten up at that mere bit of encouragement. "I will."
"Don't worry. I'll keep this secret from Izayoi-san. I won't say anything to her." He stopped the car as he reached her apartment and Rin alighted, waving to him goodnight.
In a dark corner in the shadows, Sesshoumaru finally stopped running as he noticed the too-familiar vehicle outside his house. His eyes narrowed, his heart sank, seeing his girl coming out of Miroku's car. A low growl rumbled at his throat but he did not move until he was sure Rin had gone safely into the house. As the young coach's car moved toward his direction, Sesshoumaru marched out, standing in the middle of the road as he turned facing the oncoming vehicle.
Miroku screeched to a halt, instantly picking up the dark figure of the boy. When cold hard ambers met his eyes, both knew it in their hearts… It was about time they had a little chat.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
In the Inu-house
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Mom, I'm home." Rin called out in an exhausted voice, putting down her bag onto the couch. Her head tilted with confusion as she noticed that her mother seemed to peer round behind her, a little bemused.
"Rin, didn't Sesshy come back with you?" The middle aged mom was clouded.
"What?" The girl was clouded.
"I mean… I called him just now and told him that the neighborhood isn't all that safe and asked him to make sure he picked you up from school." Izayoi scratched her head. "Maybe, you just didn't manage to bump into each other."
"He's gone to pick me up?" Anxious and worried about the one she loved, Rin dialed his mobile several times, only receiving extended ringing bringing the call into his voice mail. Sessh… he's not picking up the phone… the girl mused as she tensed with concern. Why isn't he picking it up? It's so strange. Her hazels widened. Has something happened to Sessh?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
In a restaurant
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Miroku watched as the boy beside him merely placed the ringing cell phone on the table and even when it had rung several times, Sesshoumaru didn't seem to want to pick it up. The young man peered around the restaurant, seeing that a few heads were turned in their direction at the excessive noise.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" He finally asked. "It's Rin, isn't it?"
With an exasperated growl, Sesshoumaru clicked the off button on the phone, cutting it off, then slamming it down onto the table again. Miroku chuckled. "I guess you don't seem to like talking to me a lot."
Sesshoumaru's ambers thinned at his competitor heinously. "It's admirable that you have at least the intelligence to realize that…"
"Then why have you agreed to come out for dinner with me?" Miroku tested while keeping his gaze at the boy.
"Because… I want to hear the truth from you directly…" The boy raised his brows, a hint of threat flashed in his eyes. "And stop pretending to be some Mr nice guy. Your tricks do not work on me."
Miroku just had to laugh at the comment. "I admire your openness, Sesshoumaru." He then became more solemn. "But I want you to know that sometimes… being the way you are… you hurt the people around you… especially the one you love."
A loud slam of palm was heard and Sesshoumaru stood up from his seat. "I did not come to be lectured by you!" He started walking out of the restaurant but the young coach called him back. He wasn't finished with what he had to say and he wished to speak his mind… for Rin's sake. "I love Rin…. a lot…" He started…
That statement effectively made the boy stop instantly.
How dare he say he loves MY girl so openly! His fist tightened as his knuckles cracked. He turned, as if getting ready to pounce on the young coach but Miroku went on without letting him have a chance. "I adored her… because she's my sensei's daughter…" He looked heavenward recalling the past. "Sensei taught me a lot of things… about the philosophies of humanity… the value of life…"
Flashback
Walking on their way home, Miroku's eyes glittered as he noted what was on his teacher's hand. "Sensei, I know that record… Rin-chan told me about it. It contained the love song between you and Izayoi-san."
The middle aged man smiled broadly at his student's observation. "Yes, and because they played this song during our prom night, I managed to get Izayoi to go out on a date with me. When my little girl heard that, she begged me to buy her a copy of it and since her birthday's round the corner, I decided to get her one."
Miroku's head lowered, a little saddened by the fact that he was leaving for his studies soon. "But, I think after her birthday this year, I won't be seeing her for a long long time."
The sensei patted him on the shoulder gently. "Well, you can still come back and dance with her during her twentieth birthday. You would have graduated by then."
"Sensei…"
"Miroku… I have to take charge of Izayoi's happiness…" He gave his favorite student another pat on the back. "But what about Rin's happiness?" He chuckled. "I wish nothing but the best for my daughter and I think I'll be greatly comforted if she could find someone like you as her mate."
"Sesshoumaru…" The young man's thoughts brought him back to the present, to the boy before him, now staring at him. "On that very day, sensei dashed out into the street trying to safe a little girl from a near accident, and instead, he got knocked down by the speeding car. He died on the spot… while praying for his most beloved daughter's happiness…" In a flash, Miroku recalled the heart wrenching scene where his teacher had lay there on the road, in a pool of blood, the present he had intended for his beloved daughter smashed into bits by the impact of the accident.
This time, Sesshoumaru's gaze softened at the thought of the one he loved. His shoulders relaxed and he waited, interested to hear more about Rin's past. His girl had seldom spoken of her dad, he only knew that he had passed away a long time ago. But this man, this man before him possessed that part of Rin he never had the privilege to own… Miroku… he was there with her.. to share in this pain, this significant past remembrance.
A multitude of jealousy and envy attacked him the minute his musings fell on that.
"After so many years… I came back and saw Rin again… I was filled with many mixed emotions." The young coach admitted truthfully without hiding. "I'm really happy to see that Rin has become such a matured, caring and gentle young lady. I believe that in heaven… sensei will be greatly comforted too…" His gaze settled on the boy firmly, seriously. "But presently, she's experiencing a lot of stress… She's suffocating and hurting, trapped in the midst of a too difficult relationship…And it hurts me deeply to see her like this."
At that, Sesshoumaru's brows constricted, an unknown ache squeezed his heart, choking him, knowing exactly what the young coach was referring to.
A too-difficult relationship eh?… She's hurting so much… to be with me…Instead of protecting her… I'm… the cause for her pain…
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
In the Inu-house
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"The caller you're trying to reaching is currently not available… Please leave a message or try again later…." Rin stood up, not able to control herself anymore. The wait was killing her. She headed for the door, Izayoi shocked to see that her daughter was intending to go out.
"Where're you going, Rin?"
"I'm going to look for Sessh." The girl replied hurriedly, worriedly as she turned the knob of the front door.
"It's so late already. It's too dangerous for you to go out looking for him alone." The middle aged mom disagreed at the idea instantly. "Sho's coming home soon. We'll all drive out to look for Sesshy then."
Only taking a moment to decide, Rin shook her head, dashing out of the door. Izayoi watched as her daughter left the house, feeling perplexed and concerned at the extreme gesture. Rin, why is she so anxious about Sesshoumaru? She has never behaved like this before, acting so impulsively.
Rin had just reached the main gate of their terrace when she spotted from afar the one she was looking for. She ran up to him, giving a slight tug on the sleeve of his jacket. "Sessh… Where were you? I called you so many times. Why didn't you pick up? Do you know that mom and I were so worried?" She blurted out in a rush, instantly noting the cold dispassionate expression of the boy.
"You were worried …just because… we're about to become a family…" For a moment, Sesshoumaru merely shut his eyes, immensely troubled by that last word, then without warning, he exploded. "CAN YOU JUST STOP BUDDING INTO MY BUSINESS? WHATEVER I DO, WHERE I GO IS MY FREEDOM!"
Rin's hand searched to clasp at the portion of her blouse in front of her heart, her lips quivering with impending tears. His words had hurt. "Sessh…" She started and swallowed an uncomfortable lump in her throat. "I-I just wanted to apologize …because I didn't know you were coming to pick me up, so I took a ride from Miroku-ni-chan home."
Sesshoumaru let out an audible smirk. "You don't have to apologize for such trivial matters." His tone was seemingly calm but not quite and with that, he strode into the house, not waiting for the girl behind him.
The girl traced his back view, her tears fell uncontrollably as she bit into her lips.
Rin's narration
The seedlings of worry that was planted at the beginning of this relationship… is slowly starting to sprout….growing out of control…
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The next morning
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Yawning from spending a sleepless night of tossing and turning in bed, Rin dragged her weary feet down the stairs to the dining table. Izayoi was laying out the table, smiling as she greeted her daughter. "Good morning, sweetie."
"Good morning mom." The girl peered around, not finding the one she was looking for. "Where's Sessh?"
The mother flashed a sheepish smile. "He's already gone to school." She eyed her daughter, scanning for her reaction. "You two were acting so strangely last night. Did you have a fight?" She noticed the sadness in her daughter's eyes.
Rin shook her head reflectively, but her mind was swarmed by the cruelly spoken words of the boy the night before.
CAN YOU JUST STOP BUDDING INTO MY BUSINESS? WHATEVER I DO, WHERE I GO IS MY FREEDOM!
She sighed only to herself, trying to suppress the renewing pain she was feeling.
Who exactly… am I to Sesshoumaru? Who am I…in his heart?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
At the school corridor
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sara stopped as she felt a rough pull on her shoulder. Gasping and turning back, she spotted two girls with thick makeup and trendy clothes staring maliciously at her.
"Hey you there…" They cornered her to the wall, shoving her shoulders again and again. "We want to know what your relationship with Sesshoumaru is."
"What?" The dark hair girl winced softly. "I don't know what…"
"Stop acting!" They gave her another push, crashing her to an edge of a metal locker. "We saw Sesshoumaru sending you home everyday."
They're Sesshoumaru's admirers! Sara thought to herself, rubbing the new bruise on the skin. She bowed apologetically. "I'm sorry to cause you distress. I'm really sorry."
"What do you mean by sorry? We don't want to hear sorry." They closed in on her again threateningly. "We want to know the truth. Are you two dating?"
"I'm sorry."
"Stop saying sorry. We want to know if you're Sesshoumaru's girlfriend."
From the end of the corridor, Kagura caught sight of the commotion. Rolling her eyes, she marched forward, pushing the two girls away harshly. Instantly, it enraged them. "Hey, this is none of your business! Go away!"
Kagura chucked her hand fiercely at her waist. "There's no use bullying her like this. She's the one that Sesshoumaru's grandmother had betrothed to him. If you're not happy about this, go speak to his grandmother yourselves!"
"What business do you have here? Who are you to reprimand us?" The bitches did not show signs of retreat.
"Then WHO ARE YOU to reprimand her?" Kagura pointed at the penitently looking Sara. "You're just a bunch of cowards who only dares to speak loudly in front of meek and useless girls like her. If you really have the courage, go speak to Sesshoumaru yourself!"
With that, the two girls spat on the floor roguishly before they left the scene. Sara inched up to Kagura, offering a small bow. "Arigato, Kagura-san for your help."
"What a nuisance you are." The heinous girl only gave a sigh of annoyance. "So useless!" And she started walking away but Sara stopped her.
"Wait!" The dark hair girl fished out something from her bag. She opened her palm, displaying the item in her hand. "I want to ask you about this."
It was Sesshoumaru's ring!
With a curious eye, Kagura took over the tiny piece of jewelry, briefly admiring it and toying with it. "This is quite pretty."
"It's a girl's thing, isn't it?" Sara asked and the heinous girl chuckled.
"Of course baka!"
"Sesshoumaru-ni-san, does he have a sweetheart?" Sara's question brought a small gasp from the girl playing with the ring. She stopped instantly. "This ring… Sesshoumaru-ni-san has dropped it the other night when he sent me home." The dark hair girl's expression turned sullen. "I guess… he is intending to give it to someone he loves."
Kagura's eyes narrowed as she peered at the girl next to her intently. "You've finally noticed that."
Sara's eyes flew open, her body trembling with agitation. "So… that's to say… Sesshoumaru really has someone he loves?" She thought as if searching for an answer within herself. "D-Do I… know the person? That girl whom Sesshoumaru loves… Do I know her?"
For a moment, even the heinous girl found herself trapped, not knowing how to respond to that last query. Just then, someone came, in time to safe her from this difficult conversation. It was Naraku!
"Hi…" He reached her side, smiling rather foolishly. "I-I was waiting for you in the cafeteria. I thought you forgot we're having lunch together."
Kagura smacked her lips, frustrated. "I didn't forget. Can't I be a little late?"
Naraku chuckled uncomfortably, a little anxious that his new girlfriend had gotten mad at him. "O-Of course not! You can be as late as you wish." He scratched his head impishly. "To be able to wait for you… is my utmost privilege…"
"A-hem.." Kagura hid a little grin of delight at the sweetened words. "Get your butt going. I'm starving." She pushed the ring back into Sara's hand, then strode away, the boy following and nodding elatedly behind her.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
At the roof of the basketball club
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sesshoumaru leant his weight on side railings, taking a moment by himself as many things conversed between him and the young coach last night chanted repeatedly in his head.
She's experiencing a lot of stress… She's suffocating and hurting, trapped in the midst of a too difficult relationship
The view before him was magnificent, the whole landscape of the campus could be seen from this high point. But he wasn't at all interested in it. In fact, he didn't even notice Inuyasha coming toward him until he tapped on his shoulder lightly.
The basketball captain took a moment to admire the scenic view himself before casually making a remark. "I miss the Sesshoumaru I used to know. Can you find him back for me?"
"I don't know what you're implying." Sesshoumaru intoned coldly, his head looking away purposefully.
"A third party always sees the entire situation best, Sesshy." Inuyasha counseled gently. "You're so blinded by whatever you're feeling now and you fail to see that Miroku-sensei is just a figment of Rin's past. You should know better who the one she loves now is."
"The only thing I'm envious of that Oji-san…" The boy finally admitted. "…is that he does not need to be Rin's younger brother." He let off a deep sigh of helplessness. "And because of that, she's hurting and I'm hurting too… to see her like this… yet, there's nothing I can do."
From a corner overhearing the conversation, Rin's fingers clasped tightly round the edge of the wall beside her. Finally, she knew what Sesshoumaru was thinking, what was on his mind all this time.
Rin's narration
I had always thought… that I was the only one hurting and worrying…
Now I know…Sesshoumaru… he's also hurting and suffering… just like me…
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
In Rin's bedroom
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The girl sat at an edge of her bed, her fingers scrunching up a bunch of sheets as many thoughts drowned her like huge tsunami waves. Besides what she had heard at the roof top about how the boy felt, something else had added to her already sky-high stress level.
Flashback
Leaving the boy and the basketball captain to their conversation, Rin left, decided that she had heard enough. A small troubled pace at a time, she walked to the club room and as she opened the door, she found someone already there waiting for her.
"Kagura, you've not gong back yet?" The girl asked casually while looking around for Naraku.
"Rin, there's something I want to tell you." The heinous girl went straight to the point. "Sara spoke to me today. I think… she is starting to suspect something is amiss. She's slowly finding out about you and Prince."
Rin heaved a deep sigh for the umpteenth time, rolling into the pillows for some comfort.
Rin's narration
What are we going to do if Sara finds out?
What if… uncle and mom finds out eventually… how am I going to face them? And Kaede-ba-san?
The thought of the stern traditional grandmother shocked quickened her pulse instantly. She held onto her throat, panting hard, feeling immensely choked and breathless.
Suddenly, her cell phone rang and Rin almost screamed out in her guilt conscience. Taking a few seconds to calm down to no avail, her trembling hands scurried to take the call. She glanced at the screen, noting who the caller was.
"Sessh?" She breathed a sigh of slight relief. "What? Meet you? Where?" The call went dead without an answer. "Hello… Sessh? You haven't said where to meet…SESSH?"
In the next second, the message signal beeped on her mobile, indicating the receive of an MMS. She clicked to open the picture, squinting her eyes as she tried to make out the place. It was a photo of…. The playground!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
At the playground
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The boy sat on the swing alone as he waited for the one he loved, half admiring the brisk night sky. He knew he had behaved badly the night before and he knew they ought to talk things out. All these recent flares of temperament on his part, he was most unfamiliar with them. He had prided himself for being level-headed, cool, composed and undisturbed under all circumstances. But in the past few days, he had seen a strange side of himself, a totally emotional and irrational side.
He shook his head, wanting to laugh at himself, just that he couldn't. His heart was simply too heavy. He lifted his head, noting that the one he was waiting for had arrived.
"You're so slow…" He stood up from his seat, folding his arms with a hint of a grumble.
Rin panted heavily from the short jog, still trying to catch her breath. "Hey! You didn't tell me even where to meet, only a picture… like some sort of guessing game." She chided with a pout. "Do you know how many playgrounds there are in Tokyo? What if I can't figure it out, you're gonna wait till 2010."
Seeing his crestfallen expression so openly showing on his face for the first time, she softened significantly. "Why do you want to come here all of a sudden?" She moved to his side, stroking his arm tenderly, imploring.
This was the playground where he had found her so long ago, Rin recalled.
"I remembered the first time I found you here, you were crying so terribly." He intoned, one hand pushing the swing beside him lightly.
"I wasn't crying. Who says I was crying?" The girl defended willfully, still trying to deny the obvious fact.
Sesshoumaru couldn't help but let off a soft chuckle at her weak defense. "But I suppose it's good too… if there was a place where one could discard whatever unwanted emotions they wish not to keep."
Rin picked up his hand in hers, looking into his ambers, concerned. "Do you have unwanted emotions you wish to discard?"
He met her eyes, this time, with distinct honesty. "Last night, I was out with the coach."
Rin's eyes widened. "What? You went out with Miroku-ni-chan? That's why you were home late? But why?" She was puzzled.
Sesshoumaru shook his head, smirking at himself. "Actually, I don't know why I agreed to go out with him."
"Then, why didn't you just tell me last night?" Rin's lips puffed.
"BECAUSE I was upset that you came back in HIS car!" His ambers enlarged as he stared at her angrily.
"B-But you can't blame me for that. You are the one who left me behind and went home with Sara." Her lips pursed indignantly.
"It's not as if I enjoy doing that! You know how my grandmother is." The boy defended himself just as vigorously.
Though no conclusion was made, at the very least, the young lovers managed to clear their accumulated misunderstanding, making them feel a little better than before. Looking at the Sesshoumaru who had gone all silent again, the girl recalled his words with Inuyasha that afternoon.
The only thing I'm envious of that Oji-san is that he does not need to be Rin's younger brother… because of that, she's hurting and I'm hurting too… to see her like this… yet, there's nothing I can do.
At the same time, Kagura's reminder also flashed in her mind.
Sara spoke to me today. I think… she is starting to suspect something is amiss. She's slowly finding out about you and Prince.
She took in a long breath, letting it out slowly, difficultly. "Sessh…" She whispered. "What are we going to do?"
Sesshoumaru threw her a glance, not able to offer an answer for that even to himself. He turned and looked heavenward … at the full moon shining illuminatingly above them lighting the night sky. Silently, Rin followed, standing aside him as both took a lengthen moment to just admire the pale moonlight.
Rin's narration
An unstable relationship such as ours… slowly …agonizingly groping in the dark, searching… confirming… again and again… Only having the moon as our witness… a quiet witness of our love… of the pain we're going through…
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
In Sara's apartment
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Using the golden foils of her favorite chocolate truffles, the dark hair girl skillfully twisted the edge, shaping it into the likeness of a budding rose. While at the task, she didn't forget to give occasional glances to the ring she had now placed into the tiny rounded box. A sudden small tap on the window alerted her that someone was outside. She got up, walked to the edge of the glass. Her eyes lit at the discovery of the two familiar boys standing in the gardens outside. She waved to them happily. "Hi, Nak, Hojo, what brings you here?"
The boys cringed instantly at the question though they knew very well the purpose of their visit. They had made a decision to offer their full assistance to their beloved leader that afternoon during lunch… after Kagura had informed them that Sara had found out about the existence of Sesshoumaru's lover. They wanted to seek her out, perhaps hint to her to give before she sinks deeper into this one-sided infatuation.
"Erm…ha ha…" They scratched their heads clownishly. "W-We…erm… just want to ask you out… you know… have a little casual chat… without Sesshy around…"
"Yes, yes…" Hojo laughed as if like a retard. "Erm… Sesshy is…erm… at home…He likes being at home… because his room is just next to…AHH!"
He was silenced by a too-powerful nudge by the boy next to him. Naraku was afraid that his friend was making it much too obvious. They weren't supposed to name Rin, they were just supposed to talk her out of the marriage proposal.
But Sara had wittily picked up some underlying sentiments. "Are you boys trying to tell me something?" She frowned slightly, confessing in full honesty. "I know… that Sesshoumaru-ni-san has someone he loves."
Naraku breathed in and out deeply to calm himself down. This conversation was way too stressful… one wrong word and…finished….He would surely be skinned alive by Sesshoumaru. He punched his fist, deciding that he couldn't wait another second. "I mean to say…" He intoned very formally. "Sara-san, with all due respect, I think Sesshoumaru will never agree to a marriage without love."
Getting the strong hint, Sara's brows furrowed deeper. "Do I know this girl? This girl whom Sesshoumaru-in-san loves, do I know her?"
Hojo grabbed Naraku's hands in his wild panic, knowing fully well that they should never reveal the true identity of that person. They breathed deeply together, soothing each other before continuing.
"You know, Sara.." Hojo bravely stood out to the front. "We both do not wish to see you get hurt in the end. That's why we're here. Actually… we … like you a lot. If you decide to give up Sesshy, I'll be the first to court you."
Naraku chuckled too. "I-I already have a girlfriend. If not, I'll never let Hojo have a chance."
Those gentle words brought a smile on the girl's face at long last. "Wait for me…" She called out and ran toward the door, exiting and joining her two friends in the garden. "Here." She offered them a few of her chocolate truffles.
Watching as the boys took leave, Sara reflected on what was spoken between them a while back. What were they trying to say? Sesshoumaru-ni-san likes… to stay at home?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The next morning in the Inu-house
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Rin sat like a zombie at the dining table, the sounds of Izayoi preparing breakfast at the kitchen echoing at the back of her head. Silently, the boy came down the stairs, the first person he spotted was his girl. Their eyes met blankly yet passionately, both still feeling equally at a lost deep within their hearts.
The ringing of the house phone broke their gaze as Izayoi went to pick it up. After a short conversation, she hung up, her expressions a little bemused and concerned.
At the couch reading the daily news, Inu-no-Taisho raised an eye brow as he caught sight of his beautiful fiancé standing in a daze. "Who was that, Yoi?"
"Erm..It's your mom." She hesitated for a while before continuing, both Sesshoumaru and Rin were listening in intently. "She called to say that Sara's family has canceled the marriage proposal between Sesshy and their daughter."
Rin gasped in shock as Sesshoumaru dispassionately move to sit down beside her at the table, seemingly nonchalant of the news.
"Why the sudden change?" Pushing his papers aside, the Taisho rushed to his son's side. "Didn't Sesshy just go out on a date with Sara? I thought they got along quite well."
"Who knows?" Izayoi commented, throwing her hands in the air. "They're still young and I guess they change their minds easily."
The middle-aged father pressed both his hands on the boy's shoulders, gently kneading and squeezing it. "Sesshy… don't be sad…"
The boy shoved his overly affectionate hand away crudely. "Who says I'm sad? I'm not!"
The Taisho frowned, believing whole heartedly that his son was merely putting up a strong front. "Oh, Sesshy… I know you're hurt but rejection is a part of growing up." He cried out, dramatically offering a too warm hug. "And if you feel like crying, you can cry in daddy's arms…"
With a forceful yank, Sesshoumaru freed himself, heading straight for the front door. "You don't know anything at all. So stop uttering nonsense!" With that, Rin watched as he left he house, slamming the door behind him.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
At the school
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Kagome giggled happily at the latest news, snapping her fingers. "That's just wonderful Rin! Sara has backed out on her own. Then no one will find out about you and Sessh! It's a perfect ending!" She smacked her best friend on the shoulder, noting that the girl wasn't looking all that elated as she. "What's wrong, Rin? Isn't this the conclusion you've always wished for?"
Rin's head continued to focus on the ground beneath her as she shook her head, disagreeing. "I don't know, Kags. If this is the conclusion I wished for, then… why aren't I feeling even the slightest sense of happiness?"
Before Kagome could further pry into her friend's queer feelings, someone had stopped them right in their tracks. Rin lifted her head, taken aback by the unexpected intruder.
"Sara-san…" The name escaped her lips in a muted whisper and the dark hair girl merely smiled and bowed politely in acknowledgement.
Walking with her to the nearby park, Rin sat down beside Sara on a stone table, waiting but not knowing what to expect of this visit. Coolly, the dark hair girl unzipped her bag and took out a ring box. "Ne-san, I have something here I wish to pass it to you." She lifted the velvet encased lid, then placing it on the table.
Rin took a quick peek into the box. It was ring… a pretty ring shaped like a dragonfly.
"Ne-san, this is something Sesshoumaru-ni-san dropped. Can you please help me to return it to him?"
"Sure. No problem." Rin answered instinctively.
"I guess that this is something Sesshoumaru-ni-san wishes to give to the one he loves." Sara's words caused the girl to take a second look at the item in the box. Still, at that moment, the thought that the present was meant for her didn't occur to Rin. She was too bogged down by too many stressful happenings of late. "Ne-san, if one day, you get to meet the girl who's lucky enough to be able to wear this ring, please help me to teach her a little prayer—Wo yao he Sesshoumaru yong yuan yi qi."
The girl's brows lifted with slight curiosity though her heart was still heavy. "What does that mean?"
But Sara just smiled. "Just consider it as a prayer for happiness…in chinese. Wo yao he Sesshoumaru yong yuan yi qi."
"Wo yao he Sesshoumaru yong yuan yi qi." Rin repeated rather fluently as the girl beside her nodded in approval.
"Actually, everyone knows that such a person exists, only I'm kept in the dark." Sara gave a forced laugh, a little embarrassed, penitent almost. "Ne-san, I've put everyone in a difficult position, haven't I? Kagura-san was right. I did everything so one-sidedly."
Immensely caught in a guilt trip, Rin shook her head violently. "No, Sara, you're very sweet and we liked you a lot, really… and…We didn't wish for you to get hurt… both Sessh and I feel the same way."
"I think I'm really lucky." Sara commented, looking skyward.
"Lucky?" Rin's heart pinched even harder. "Why do you say lucky?"
Sara grinned, trying to lift her own downcast spirits. "Of course I'm lucky. Even though I've failed in love, I've gained a lot of friends along the way! I could feel that everyone was overly suppressing themselves while trying to protect me, Naraku, Hojo, Kagura, Sesshoumaru… and especially ne-san, you've been the nicest to me."
Rin bit her lips hard, feeling extremely apologetic. "I-I'm not as good as you think I am. Sometimes, Sessh and I, we keep things from you… That's because we're selfish."
Sara shook her head gently. "Though I'm not intelligent, I know that everyone has their own reasons and you're definitely not selfish."
"Sara... I…" Ring gulped remorsefully.
"Actually, talking about being selfish, I was the one who was selfish… not knowing the problems in your hearts and still … trying to create more problems." The dark hair girl dipped her head, fighting back her tears. "But now, I'm giving up. This is the only thing I can do and that is, in a way, helping everyone solve a little part of the problem."
With that and a clipped bow, Sara left, before letting Rin see the first tear from her eyes.
Rin gripped onto the ring box agitatedly, her hazels focused on the disappearing view of her once competitor.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
At Rin's classroom
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
As the bell rang indicating the end of the lesson, Miroku's eyes grazed pass the empty seat next to the window. Rin was not here today, he thought to himself. After most of the students had left, he strode up to the girl's best friend, who was in the midst of packing.
"Kagome, do you know why Rin is not here today? Is she ill?" He implored with a hint of concern.
Immediately, Kagome found herself in a difficult position. Still, after a moment of ponder, she decided to tell the truth. "Er… Sensei, Rin's not ill. She's out with… err… Sara." Seeing the slight disappointment on the young teacher's face, she bravely spoke up for her friend again. "Actually sensei, Rin didn't deliberately skip your class… just that… the pressure she's facing recently is just too overwhelming."
Miroku nodded. "I understand."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
At the basketball club
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Without knowing where she would stop, where to go, Rin ran and ran and ran as if for her dear life, if not… for keeping what's left of her sanity. Shutting her eyes at a certain pained thought, she dashed blindedly, charging up the stairs heading toward the highest part of the school. Reaching the roof top of the basketball club, she stopped only at the railing, inches away from the dangerous edge, panting and shouting out into the heavens to vent out this horrible feeling of guilt and helplessness.
"RIN! IS THIS THE CONCLUSION YOU'VE WISHED FOR?" Her tears flowed continually without end. "YOU'RE SIMPLY TOO SELFISH, RIN! TOO SELFISH!"
Rin's narration
No, I can't… we can't tell the truth… because it'll ruin the happiness that mom finally has… it'll ruin everything…
(collapsing to the ground) But yet…Hiding the truth… will also let innocent people like Sara get hurt….
Sessh and I… it's as if we're covering our own eyes… living in a lie… a lie that can't be kept forever…
Must our love be built on everyone else's pain?
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
At Rin's class
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
As Kagome and Miroku were about to leave the room, Inuyasha entered the room panting several laden breaths. Apparently, he had been hurrying in order not to miss them… And also, he was probably urgently looking for someone. Miroku peered as another entered behind him, Sesshoumaru.
The boy's ambers scanned briefly with dismay that he did not see the one he was looking for.
"Sesshoumaru, are you here for Rin?" Miroku's tone was serious and firm. "Do you know that she didn't come to class today? I think you should know her well enough. She's not the sort who skips classes at will."
The boy looked up as an unnerving sense of uneasiness hit him, Rin's words chimed repeatedly in his head.
Sessh… What are we going to do?
"Sesshoumaru, what I fear most…" The young coach continued sternly. "…is that Rin has reached her maximum tolerance… that she's going to break down any moment."
The boy crushed his fingers into a ball, tightening it till it was whiten and bloodless. He had left without her that morning. He should've known better that Rin had been affected greatly by the recent events… that she was so lost and confused…
He charged toward the door at full speed. He had to look for her before she attempts anything stupid. No, he fought within himself bitterly. She won't… She cannot…His girl would never do anything to harm herself… His heart nearly stopped as a deathly chill cruised through his entire body and fear attacked him like never before. Will she?
Within an hour, Sesshoumaru exhausted all possible places he thought the girl could be. He was perspiring from the over exertion even in the cold early spring weather. Too tired to carry on, he stopped just in front of the basketball club, heaving deepen pants and in an instance, images of Rin flashed before his eyes. He imagined her just lying there, not breathing, her cold stiffen body not responding to him no matter how hard he jerked her. He bent down, kissed her forcefully, but she did not return it. He pulled her close to him, hugging her but she did not hug him back. In her hand was a tiny note. With shaking hands, he unrolled the paper and read it – I'm sorry Sessh… but you would be better off without me… Rin.
NO! With a thunderous growl, he screamed out aloud, shaking himself back from this too frightening thought. He peered skyward and looking over the tall building before him at the splash of orange and pink sunset.
Suddenly, it struck him. The roof! He hadn't searched there!
He darted like a bullet up the long flight of steps, pushing pass Hojo and Naraku who just happened to exit the building. "Hey, Sesshy, what's up?"
Sesshoumaru didn't waste a moment to explain. He didn't stop. He knew time was not a luxury he could afford. With strength powerful enough to break the door, he swung it open and lo…there she was… squatting in a corner in the shadow of the evening lights.
Stealthily, he paced toward her, already immensely relieved that she was alive, that nothing tragically irreversible had happened to her. Still, Rin had buried her face in her arms and he couldn't see what she was doing. As he reached her side, the girl became conscious of his presence. Slowly, she looked up at him.
"Gal, what… are you doing here by yourself?" He noted how strands of her hair were stuck untidily to her damp face and he knew that she must have been crying for hours.
Rin gasped, turning away and hurriedly rubbing away the fluid furiously with her sleeves. She didn't wish that he see her like this. After overhearing how Sesshoumaru felt about their relationship, after hearing that he was suffering, the last thing she wanted was to let him see her like this. He… would be more upset… It would hurt him even more.
"Nothing…I'm alright." She shook her head, trying to sound as calm as she could, still shunning away from him purposefully. But it didn't work. Her voice was quivering because she had overstayed in the evening chills.
Taking a deepen breath to calm his own nerves and also the pain emerging in his heart, Sesshoumaru gently held the girl at her shoulders, guiding her up to his level. Noting how terribly she was trembling from the cold and how pale her lips had become, he saw the immediate need and carefully removed his jacket, placing it over her lithe form. With a soft finger, he lifted her chin to search her dazed eyes. "This is NOT nothing. You're NOT alright. Talk to me… onegai… Tell me what's wrong…."
At an achingly slow pace, Rin's eyes met his worried ambers and instantly, everything that had bothered her, suffocated her flooded in altogether again and she bit her lips hard holding it back but she simply couldn't anymore. "Sessh…." A tear fell, followed by another, then another and she sobbed afresh. Her knees collapsed weakly but Sesshoumaru held onto her, preventing her fall. "Sessh… Why… Why are we hurting so many people?"
"What?" He looked into her eyes intently, not letting her go.
"I can't understand…. how so many people can get hurt because of me…" She shook her head violently, frenziedly. "I-I don't want to hurt them… I don't ask for a lot… All I want… is to love you…" She cried out the last bit of her sentence again. "I-I just wanted to love you…"
Sesshoumaru brought the girl slowly into his embrace, hugging her tightly, possessively as his ambers flew shut. "Then carry on loving me…" He moved back enough to meet her eyes lovingly. "I don't care a damn who gets hurt…because there's no one else I want besides you… I want only you… only you…"
Finally, after a long pause, a small smile appeared on the girl's face. Sessh… he says… he only wants me….
Placing both hands on two sides of her cheeks, he gently rubbed away her tears, then bringing her to him. Their lips brushed against each other, touching and then he crushed his mouth to hers, locking her into a long, passionate kiss. He only stopped when he caught sight of something on the ground, something familiar, something he was searching for the entire day thinking that he had lost it. A little puzzled, he let the girl go, walking up and picking the item up.
"Gal, why is this with you?" He removed the ring from its box, flashing it to Rin.
"Sara gave it to me. She said you dropped it and asked me to return it to you." The girl answered, her mood seemingly much better than before.
Sesshoumaru let off a tender chuckle. "You don't have to return this to me, silly." He lifted her right hand, singling out her fourth finger, gently placing the ring into it. "I bought this specially for you… for your birthday."
The smile on the girl's face broadened as she toyed with the small piece of jewelry now on her finger. She didn't really have a good look at it until now. It was so pretty, so exquisite… and it was meant for her…
"Promise me you'll wear it always…" He intoned, offering her another soft kiss on her lips.
Rin nodded, deeply touched by the loving gesture. She circled her arms round his lean waist and for several minutes, they merely stood in each other's embrace as the sun completely disappeared into the horizon.
Rin's narration
Since the beginning… I've always imagined this… to be in Sesshoumaru's arms… and bravely, fearlessly, charging forward together…relentlessly against all odds…
Suddenly, several overlapping giggles alerted the young lovers that they weren't alone. Releasing the girl in his arms, Sesshoumaru peered behind them, instantly picking up the silhouette of his two friends.
Naraku and Hojo chuckled sheepishly when they realized they had been discovered. They had followed their leader when he passed them by out of worry, not the least expecting to witness such mushy lovey dovey stuff. "Err… Hey Sesshy… Rin…" They chimed in unison.
"What are you two doing here?" Sesshoumaru beckoned them to come forward. "And exactly how long have you been here?" His eyes narrowed at them threateningly.
Naraku laughed even louder as he pulled Hojo to him, as if reenacting the intimate scene between their leader and his girl. "We were here since this part…" He changed his voice deeper to mimic Sesshoumaru's. "Rin, I don't care a damn who gets hurt…because there's no one else I want besides you… I want only you… only you…" He bent down wanting to kiss Hojo but he puked out, dodging and pushing him away.
"Why you two idiots…." Sesshoumaru clenched his fist, sprung up at them. The two boys shrieked as they dashed away, their leader hot on their heels.
Rin watched as the boys engaged themselves in a little game of police and thief, laughing so hard for the first time in a long long while.
Rin's narration
Although it's a forbidden relationship… still… there are wonderful friends around us who understand us… always on our side… supporting us… giving us their blessings…offering their helping hands…
In such ways, we couldn't ask for more…
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx