Hi Hi…

I know…(pulling my own ears) I took really really long to update this. Well, many things happened in the past two months, end of year work stuff, uprooting my entire computer and internet system because I needed to move the study room to next door plus set up a nursery…yap…a nursery…ready to use in about two month's time. (I hope this answers Hinata-chan's question about why I have to stop writing Something to do with a little bundle wrapped up warmly in a cradle). I only got the system working in my new study last week, started writing a few days before Christmas. I read my email (finally) and I'm so sorry, Irivel (Didn't get it done before Christmas).

I'm still writing, hurrying to finish this before the new year. So, I hope you don't mind… I've split the epilogue into 2 parts. I promise I'll get the rest done before we all pop champagne for 2007…

In the epilogue, you'll get to read a lot of Rin's narration plus some flashbacks…

And I just have to thank everyone for your reviews… like I always say, you're the sweetest…

Just to reply some…

Randomness: I'm so sorry I missed your birthday.

Sessylover18, restria: No sequel, sobs, but I made the epilogue sound like one..

aZnfantasygoddess: I'm so touched you found it better than Devil beside you… I know…

I made them do naughtier things, that's all. But I enjoyed that

Taiwanese version. The male lead actor is hot. He has the Sessh

death stare…I think

Tammy: Strange… when I read that you wrote "we love your work ma"), I suddenly felt

hmmm… are you from the same country I'm from…

riceball909: I'm glad you've enjoyed Akuma de sorou. It's an old manga and no longer

that easy to find online…

DragongirlCV: I know, I hate stories with an ending on a cliff. Hope you'll like the

epilogues then. I'll make sure everyone's happy

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Rin's narration

Right…Where was I? Oh, it'd been that long ago, four years since we last stopped? Then, I guess it's about time I fill you in.

And yes, it had been four long years since that day at the airport when I sent Sesshoumaru off to Italy. Had he planned for his stay to be that extensive? Well, not exactly, just that his mother had required a more lengthen recuperation period than expected and Sesshoumaru hadn't found it that intolerable enough to bail out half way.

On the contrary, his relationship with his mom did take a turn for the better, limitedly… but better. I guess that was because it's Sessh we're talking about. Warmth and closeness just weren't meant to be an intimate part of his personality. Still, after about three months, he had decided to finish his college degree there, in Rome that was. I think part of him had wanted to get away from his promise with Kaede for as long as he could.

How did I take the news? Needless to say, even when I tried to look and sound as positive and encouraging about it over the web cam as possible, Sesshoumaru could tell that I was upset. That was when he asked the second time, if I was willing to go over to him.

After a long struggle of fighting back tears, I rejected him, again. My reason for not just catching the first flight and running into his arms? Mom was almost due at that time and there were so many changes in the house. The whole place was almost turned upside down with the stepping in of Kaede-ba-san. Previously, with just uncle and Sesshoumaru, they didn't have any permanent house aid, just the part-time cleaner coming daily to do the cleaning and laundry. But with the near arrival of the new baby, Kaede insisted that uncle got a butler, a chauffeur, a maid and a nanny to help out around the house. Imagine how crowded the house seemed!

By the end of the first month after Sesshoumaru left, I had moved into his room permanently. I had slept there whenever I missed him terribly and it turned out to be almost every day of the week. Of course it wasn't the same as having him around, but still, using the things that he used to use, sitting on the chair he used to sit on and sleeping on the bed he had slept since his childhood, it did bring some comfort to me. It felt as if… he was still with me. Did I cry myself to sleep? Well, some of the time, not because I did not trust him or that I was insecure. I just felt like crying…mainly cursing my own stupidity of not following him. I could only hug his pillow, imagining that it was him, my own warmth on the soft silk his.

About a year after Sessh left, I graduated from college and started working as a kindergarten teacher. Sesshoumaru was quite pleased with my choice to stay outside the commercial world. He had laughed and commented that he couldn't imagine me in a tight suit, aggressive heels and all clayed up in makeup. However, he changed his mind shortly after. Why? We'll go into details about that later.

Through the four years, I regularly received postcards, little thoughtful gifts he had picked out for me during his travels round the region and photographs of his newly found friends (including girls).

I didn't ask if any of them had shown obvious interest in him. I didn't bother to. I was very sure there would be, just that, our relationship had matured. It had long grown beyond such childish suspicions and doubts. What's the point anyway? There would always be someone better coming along. We couldn't be always looking back and revising our decision, could we? There're so much more to life than just searching for Mr Right. It was time we moved on and we both understood that. We were going into our mid-twenties and many a times, we took our discussions further into our future together, about career and family, even about how many children we'd like to have.

Sesshoumaru made it a point that we communicate almost everyday through the web cam during the times we were apart. Though the time difference, we had managed to find a common time to meet and chat, mainly about nothings. So I guess you could say we still see each other daily. We did try other …erm… naughtier things through the web cam. I sincerely prayed no one else could be watching.

Half of my salary went into the internet and phone bills. Mom and uncle offered to pay but I couldn't accept that. I was already a working adult then. I couldn't be still stretching my hands out for allowance.

Sesshoumaru and I spent every summer and winter break together and every other holiday that was substantial enough for me to fly over. I remembered the first summer I flew over to meet him in Rome. I charged into his arms and was lifted up and kissed thoroughly right on the spot he had picked me up, blind to all who were around us. And the moment we stepped into his room, he flung my luggage and pushed me straight onto his bed without even a single word spoken. By the way he had pulled my clothes off, I was sure they were beyond repair. There was nothing romantic about what happened straight after. It was just pure sex. Everything was fast, desperate. I knew Sesshoumaru just needed to get off and I didn't mind a bit. I felt the same.

While I was there over the many breaks, together, we went around most of Europe during summers. Winters were more of hugging and snuggling in front of the fireplace in his own apartment and, well, just being together with him. Yes, he had gotten his own apartment there basically because he couldn't bring himself to stay another day under the same roof as his mother. I did say their relationship got better? Yes he visited her regularly, but that didn't mean they could stay together (literally), especially not my Sessh. You and I both know that Sesshoumaru's the type who needed his own space.

Did he ask the third time if I'd go over to stay with him?

The answer was….yes.

But he didn't ask, he practically insisted…and it wasn't open for debate. It was after an ugly incident that had happened about half a year after I began working in the kindergarten, a supposedly harmless environment. It was bad enough that Sesshoumaru himself had made a trip back personally. In my heart, even till this day, it had remained an unforgettable lesson and a scar that…through Sesshoumaru's love and patience, was slowly fading away with time.

So, where do I begin? It all started when I noticed that a particular boy in my class was always waiting for his dad at the gate when everyone had gone home. His father, Koga-san, was a single parent. He and his wife had separated over a year ago, leaving Keiji, his five year-old son living with him. Keiji was a bright-eyed adorable kid, despite his family situation. No matter how late his dad would be in fetching him, he would entertain himself with little things such as spiders and strange creepy crawlies in the shrubs.

Waiting with him for his dad had become a daily routine for me. At first, Koga-san and I merely engaged in courteous amiable exchanges. He was quite a fine looking man in his early thirties, well built, well mannered, matured and decent (so I thought). His reason for being late was always the same, work.

I did sympathize with his situation though, a single dad left with a young kid and juggling between work and family. I guessed it would have been tough. He must have loved Keiji a lot. That was also why, in the end, though knowing fully well that it was way beyond my work scope, I offered to walk Keiji home from school everyday. Of course, I was thanked profusely but…that slip of kindness was the beginning of my eventual nightmare.

I gradually moved from waiting with Keiji to walking Keiji home to waiting with Keiji at his house till his father got back from work. Sometimes, I would make Keiji dinner while at it. Everything was plain platonic to me until Koga-san began to ask me to stay for night or eat out with them. That was where I drew the line, or rather, tried to. Through his words and body language, I could sense that he had taken an interest in me. I wasn't sure whether it was just infatuation or that he was looking for a potential mom for Keiji. Either way, I knew I did not wish to mislead him.

I never agreed to any of his invitations, even when he said Keiji was tagging along. I made it clear I was engaged. He was surprised. He thought I was too young to have settled on someone permanently. He tried to ask more about Sesshoumaru but I told little, just that, he was currently away. But I assured him that our relationship was strong, especially after I noticed a hint of hopeful glee in his eyes when he heard that my finance wasn't in town. Still, since then, he had kept a comfortable distance and I was relieved enough to continue offering my aid.

My greatest regret in this entire situation was that I hadn't told Sesshoumaru anything about it, mostly because I was afraid of being reprimanded. I knew he thought I was always too 'nice' but deep inside, I knew he thought I was too naïve and too trusting. That was why every time I wanted to bring up Keiji's case, in the end, I'd swallow it back. What if Sessh asked me to stop taking care of Keiji? I'd be stuck. Thankfully, there was Kagome. She knew about Keiji and Koga-san and many a times, she was the one who came to my rescue when I was approached with dinner and date proposals. I'd always reply that I had already agreed to meet Kagome and it'd always worked like a charm.

Everything went on smoothly until one fateful evening when things took an unexpected turn.

School had closed for the winter break and I was packing my luggage and getting ready to fly over to Rome. In my heart, there was nothing but the full yearning of seeing Sesshoumaru again and how we'd be spending the whole holiday together. I couldn't wait to get on that flight.

Then, my cell phone rang. It was Koga-san…

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(Beginning of Flashback)

"Rin, this is Koga. So sorry to call you so suddenly but something came up at the office and I can't be home for dinner with Keiji. Could you…." There was a hint of embarrassment mixed guilt in his voice. I just couldn't refuse him.

"Sure. I'd love to help." Suddenly I remembered something I had to do. "Erm… but I have to be home by ten." Sesshoumaru was to call and I certainly didn't want to miss it. We were going to discuss about travel plans. He had hinted he wanted to bring me skiing. It was my first time and I was thrilled.

"Great! Thanks, Rin. I owe you one."

On my way to Koga's house, I passed by a take-out and got Keiji his dinner. We played video games after dinner and by eight, I had put him to bed. As the clock ticked by, I got worried. It was nearly nine and no signs of Koga. If I got home late and Sesshoumaru were to ask me where I was, how was I to explain myself? I hadn't lied to him before, I wasn't about to start now. Well, I had purposefully missed out certain details just so that I could give aid to a five-year-old… but still, that was different from outright telling him a lie.

My chain of thoughts broke when I heard the door knob turned. Koga was back. What a relief. I started packing my little bag when I heard a loud thud. From the dining room, I came out to the living area and Koga was sprawled on the floor unconscious.

"Oh my God!" I dashed to him, helping him up. He was heavy, reeking strongly of alcohol. "Koga-san, are you alright?"

"Sorry… Had a bit too much at my company function." Holding his head, he struggled up, putting one arm over my shoulder. I felt his full weight right away but still, I carried him to his bedroom, flung him over the bed.

Seeing that he was half dozing off, I adjusted my clothes a little, intending to head for the door. Suddenly, a strong arm grabbed mine from the back. I shrieked, lost my balance and toppled onto Koga…on his bed.

"Rin…don't go…please…." He mumbled, his eyes half opened.

Startled and terrified, I tried to pushed myself away but his gripped on me was like iron. "Koga… please…I-I need to go…I need to get home…It's late…"

"Stay for the night…" Without a word of warning, he flipped over, taking me with him so that I was pinned beneath him. I screamed, fighting him off to no avail.

"You don't know what you're saying. You're drunk!" I elbowed him on the shoulder so that he couldn't get closer. Still, his weight on me blew any chances of getting away. As the seconds passed, I grew more and more afraid. I was at a man's house, in his room on his bed. There was no one around, no one to come to my rescue. What were the chances of me getting out of this unharmed and not end up getting molested or worse…

Then…he started making more aggressive advances. He lowered himself and began kissing my neck. "Rin…you know how I feel about you all this while…"

I thrashed away from him, feeling my strength slowly wearing out from all the fighting against his advances. "What are you talking about? I thought we got this cleared up. I'm engaged!" I felt the areas round my eyes getting hotter. I felt tears welling…anxious, frightened tears.

"Yes… engaged…" The intoxicated stench of his breath was hot on my neck. "So where is your…so-called fiancé? If he truly loved you, he'd here…He'd be the one doing this to you…" He tried to sink his mouth onto my lips but I shunned away.

"It's not like that! He loves me and I LOVE HIM…ONLY HIM!" I blocked with one palm his second attempt to force his lips on mine. "Please stop this now! Get off me and w-we can still be friends.."

I saw his eyes squint at me, seemingly scrutinizing me wryly. "You love him? Yes, of course you do I suppose…." He pressed closer. "So…Have you given yourself to him Rin?"

I was dumbstruck by that downright intrusion of my private life. "That is totally none of your business!" I hissed, making sure he knew I was pissed.

A corner of his lip lifted in a slight smirk. I could almost feel him gloat at my rage. At that very moment, I felt really guilty for not telling Sesshoumaru about him. Yes, I was afraid he might reprimand me, saying that I was gullible. But he would be right. I was.

And now, I was there, trapped under a man who wasn't my fiancé. What if I could not get out of here in time? What if Koga managed to have his way with me in the end? What if… Would I still be able to face Sesshoumaru… Would he still…want me? My heart froze…First and only… That was what he had made me promise the first time we made love…his first and only…his only… At that thought, my tears flowed, unstoppable. I knew at that time…I had betrayed his trust…

Suddenly, I felt my blouse tear. Koga had pulled on it, ripped off a few of the buttons. I shrieked as his hand briefly groped my breasts. I shoved his hands away, disgusted, swung him a tight slap.

He laughed, wincing and stroking his cheek. "Hey, even if you really DO have a fiancé, we can still play around…just one night… you don't have to be so uptight… everyone does that once in a while…"

I stared at him disbelievingly. "Play around? Everyone? Sorry, I'm not everyone… So…let me go!"

This time, I managed to break free and I tried climbing out of the bed but was pulled back almost instantly. He was still a strong man and I was just a weak young girl. Deep in my heart, I knew I was no match for his strength. The next thing I knew, I was fastened, both hands above my head. Koga leaned in, sniffing me out like a wolf about to swallow his prey and I struggled relentlessly.

"Rin… you smell…so sweet… innocent…" He licked the lobes of my ears. I flinched. "Are you a virgin… still? You know… if I were your fiancé, I'd never leave you behind without first making you mine… I wouldn't want someone like… myself to get to you first…"

I felt my hands and feet turn cold, numbed with fear. All this dirty talk… he had only one thing on his mind. He wanted me! "Koga-SAN, please! I always believe you're a good person. Please… don't make me change my mind. You're drunk! You don't know what you're doing!"

My words seemed to have gone unheeded. My speech of coaxing mixed with threat only made him chuckle. "If you don't tell, I'd have to find out myself…" He yanked my legs, nudging them open with his, his hands reaching under my skirt.

Just when I thought my fate was sealed, the door knob turned gently and a soft voice emerged like an angel from heaven coming to my rescue. "Daddy… is that you?"

It was Keiji!

Instantly, Koga ceased his advances, sobered up a little and sat up. Taking this chance, I hopped out of bed, grabbed my bag and dashed out of the house I knew I wasn't going to return in my life time. I didn't even bother to stop for my coat, even though I knew how freezing cold winter nights could get.

I ran and ran without looking back, completely disregarding how the late night wind was giving me froze bites on my cheeks and didn't stop till I felt I was completely out of range and Koga wasn't following. Then I paused for a moment, panting and examining myself. I couldn't go home looking like this. Uncle and mom would be worried sick. I checked my watch. Almost eleven, I had missed Sesshoumaru's call anyway. So, I decided to go to Kagome's.

I told Kagome everything, sobbed as I went about it. I just couldn't stop crying…and shivering. I spent the night at her place and the next thing I recalled… I was drowsy, bleary eyed, half conscious and back home.

It wasn't until much later that I was told that I had run a high fever the next morning and Kagome had informed uncle and mom to pick me up. I had been slipping in and out of consciousness for two whole days and uncle had the hospital staff brought home to attend to me. Every time I awoke, my vision was blurry. I could hear scurried steps, faint voices that seemed to sound like mom asking me something but I just couldn't make out what they were. I couldn't find the strength to respond.

But I wasn't alone even in my sleep. Dreams of Sesshoumaru and nightmares of what had happened with Koga replayed themselves and haunted me again and again. I found myself running away, finding myself trapped and struggling and screaming…

Then, I finally awoke, when it was pitch dark. I knew it was night time. A quick check told me that I was in Sesshoumaru's room. But I wasn't alone. Someone was in the room with me, on my bed!

I screamed on the top of my voice, struggling but a pair of strong gentle arms circled me. "Rin…calm down…It's me…" Recognizing that too familiar rich voice, I stopped, wishing with all my heart this wasn't a dream. I turned, fighting back my tears.

And I saw him, Sesshoumaru, looking worriedly down at me while cradling me in his arms. "Sessh… is it really you? A-Am I dreaming?"

He forced a smile. "I called home and your mom told me you were sick." He intoned softly as he stroked my cheeks.

"And you flew back…just for me?" I swallowed as tears ran down my cheek. Guilt and remorse were gathering within me and more memories of what had happened relived itself as I got more sober. I felt him brushing my tears away for me and then, he turned on the bedside lamp, illuminating the room slightly.

"How are you feeling?" He implored as he felt my forehead. He picked up the thermometer, took my temperature, then inspected it. I vaguely heard a soft sigh of relief escape his lips. "Your fever had gone down slightly. Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat, drink perhaps?"

"Water…" I whispered, still finding myself too guilty to meet his eyes directly. I watched as he poured some into a mug and then, coming back to my side, holding my palm up to circle round the cup securely. He helped me as I took a sip of it. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain at my wrist. I flinched, almost dropping the mug but Sesshoumaru caught it in time before it fell.

I took a peek at where the sting had originated. Round my wrist, there were small patches of black and purple. I gasped. Bruises! They must have been from my struggles that night!

Overwhelmed with renewed humiliation, I tried to retract my hand but Sesshoumaru held it steadfast in position, his fingers lightly cruising over my bruises. He looked composed as he examined it, which made me feel more remorseful than ever.

Then, after what I felt was eternity, he spoke.

"Try not to move it so much. I just applied some ointment on it a while ago. It should get better in a few days." He said seemingly plainly and I knew, I couldn't hide it from him any further.

"Sessh… I…" I started in a quivering voice but he intercepted me.

"Shh…Don't say anything…" Gently, he placed a finger at my lips to stop me from continuing. "I know…what happened…"

My eyes flew open! "Y-You know?"

He stroked my fringe, sweeping them to the side and I met his eyes with my own tearing ones. "Kagome told me."

That was when I really started crying without control. Would he forgive me for not telling him? "Sessh… I'm so sorry… I didn't mean it to turn out like that…I thought…"

I felt his strong arms round me again, holding me even closer to the warmth of his chest. He silenced me again with his finger and gave me a stern look. "You don't have to be sorry about anything. What happened… was not your fault!" This time, his tone was beginning to show his true feelings. He was furious! But still, he tried to keep calm. "If it was anyone's fault, it's mine. I-I should have been here to protect you."

That made me feel even worse than ever. I clung onto him tightly, sobbing my heart out. And he let me cry as he held me, occasionally placing light kisses on my temple. I guess he knew I needed to let it all out. But as I gradually calmed down, he began to dry my tears.

"Hungry? Your mother said you hadn't eaten much. She had prepared something for you in case you wake…" His voice was calm but I could tell from his eyes. He was raging inside and I knew, Sesshoumaru wasn't going to just let the matter rest. But he didn't ask me more about what happened and I wasn't quite ready to relive the ordeal by relating the gory details. I guessed he knew that just as much. But I was just happy, relieved, that I was now back home, safe and in his care.

I nodded, accepted his offer to serve me a late supper, my first full meal in two days. After that, I lay in his arms and slept, my first truly peaceful sleep since that night I was almost raped.

(End of flashback)

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It took me a few more days to fully recover and by then, Kagome had told me everything that happened, how Sesshoumaru had rung her shortly after he arrived home. He got suspicious when he discovered my injuries …by accident.

And while I was recuperating, Sesshoumaru had sought Koga out with Naraku and Hojo and Yash and well, needless to say, someone had received a thrashing up he'd never forget!

And guess what, that wasn't quite the end of Koga's punishment. By a nick of luck or perhaps, his intelligence, Sesshoumaru had found out also that Koga was actually working in one of uncle's subsidiary companies. Need I elaborate? Yeah, he got the sack, but not before he realized who exactly was my fiancé. He had been one of the office section managers for years and of course he had joined in the famous gossips about how his boss' young heir was engaged to his step sister and was to take over the entire Inu-clan and business. But now, he would know who the step sister was.

I knew I couldn't blame Sesshoumaru for doing what he did. The only person I truly felt sorry for was Keiji. I prayed he'd be fine now that he and his father would have to move to another city. I guess that was a wise choice. Let's just put this simply. Once you've messed with the Inu-clan (not to mention the heir himself), you'd never survive in Tokyo city again.

So just before we were to return to Rome together to continue with our winter break, Sesshoumaru sat me down really seriously and the question sprouted again from his mouth. He needn't tell me the reasons why he had asked me to stay permanently with him in Italy. I knew. I knew he was concerned that I needed more time to recover. Apart from that, I knew he was also worried about leaving me here alone. He wasn't the only one. I was afraid too. Who knows? Koga might just turn out to be the stalking sort. It was something I had no wish to find out myself.

That was why I said yes…. And he was particularly pleased with my reply.

I took up an Italian speaking course during my stay in Rome lasting for about a year. I figured it'd be enriching, since I was already there. And that year had been the best one. With uncle, mom and Kaede-ba-san far away, Sessh and I had a chance to really experience living together as a couple. Actually, to let you in on a little secret we kept even till this day… Shortly after we returned to Italy, Sesshoumaru brought me on a shopping trip to Milan and one day, Sesshoumaru led me to a beautiful cathedral and we said our vows there and then.

Yes, we got officially married…congratulated by no one but strangers with their equally heart felt well wishes. It couldn't have been more perfect. Well, we both knew that eventually, we had to go through the entire Inu-clan huge traditional formal wedding ceremony but we were both quite happy with shoving that part away till the furthest as we could. And as long as we were in Italy, we were free. While Sesshoumaru completed his degree in Architecture, I did my duties as his wife faithfully, making sure he had hot meals, neatly pressed clothes and a clean house to return to.

The only one thing that I couldn't yet give him was a child. He had tried so many ways to get me off the pill and yes, we were officially married but it was still all done in secret. I could just imagine Kaede-ba-san's expression if she had wind of this and worse, if she discovered she was to be a great grandmother. Also, I wasn't sure if Sessh was really dying to be a father or that he was merely being naughty and rebellious. But it took me a long time to persuade him to wait a while longer, enjoy the time we had, just the two of us. In the end, he gave in.

After a little more than a year there with Sesshoumaru in Rome, I was summoned back to Tokyo by a phone call from Kaede-ba-san. She had decided that it was about time I began my 'education' to become the wife of the next Inu-heir. That included studying into the ancient histories of the clan, knowing the vast businesses and ventures of the family and also the knowledge of the etiquettes, responsibilities and how to …er-hem… 'present' myself in front of the elders and relatives (Yawn).

No matter how reluctant I was and how Sesshoumaru had blown his top refusing to let me go home, I knew that I hadn't a choice. That separated us for another year or so and now… in two weeks' time, Sesshoumaru was to return from Italy…just in time for our wedding…the er-hem… formal one…

(End of Rin's narration)

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