A/N: Please just comment, review, follow, favorite, vote & like! We love your feedback :) Also - the text in italics (during the story) is text messages!

When I'm confused, there is really only one person who can help. Joey Richter. Not only is he one of my best friends, he has known me forever and always has good (and honest) advice. I grab my phone and find his contact name.

"Darren? Hey buddy, what's up?" Joey answers the phone.

"Hey, uh, not much. Just filming and stuff, you know. How are you?"

"Good! We all miss you like crazy, but understand, you are a big wig now."

I laugh. "Not quite, far from it actually…"

"Well, why'd you call? Did you run out of Red Vines? Because as much as I'd like to think you are just calling for a friendly chat, we really haven't been in contact much lately…"

Although he says it in a jokey tone, I sense the sadness, and he's right. I haven't been in contact with the Starkids much lately. "I know, and I'm sorry about that. I have been busy getting to know all my co-stars, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I think, I might…"

"Oh do you need some girl advice?"

"Well no not exactly… Kind of the opposite…" After I say that there is a long silence on the other end.

"Joey…I think I like Chris."

"Who's Chris?"

"You know, Chris Colfer. The guy I work with on set."

"Wait, Kurt? The gay one? Whoa whoa whoa… Back track! "

"Yes, the gay one, and-"

"But I thought you were straight?"

"Well, you know. I thought I was too. But I've never been one to put labels on things."

"So are you like, bi? Because I really don't know, that would weird me out a little."

"No! I think I'm gay. I've never felt this strongly about someone before. But I need help on what to do."

"Yeah I'll say! Okay, well, um, tell me the story first I guess."

I explain to him everything that had happened between Chris and me so far, and described my feelings for Chris. "I just really feel like we were meant to be. Which is ridiculous because I have really not known him long but…"

"Wow, that's a lot. Um, to be honest, I'm still stuck on the fact that you are gay. I think that the connection you and Chris have is great, but what if you are like, Chris-sexual? Like, have you ever been physically attracted to other guys besides him?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I think that's where you should start. This next week or so, see if any other guys you interact with you think you are, you know, attracted too."

"Alright thank you Joey, really. Oh and can you try not share this with the other Starkids, thanks."

He agrees and we say goodbye. I'm really glad I finally got that out. I really needed someone to talk to, and I know Joey isn't completely sold on it but I had to tell him because I knew he would understand the most because he knows me more than anyone else. And maybe he was right, maybe I'm not gay, just attracted to Chris. Maybe talking to the other boys for now would be a better idea to see where I am actually at. It's going to be hard not to talk to Chris as much because we have so much in common and talking to him almost always makes my day. I guess it would be nice to get to know Chord and Cory and the other guys on a more personal level. Well Glee is going on a hiatus from filming since we are done with the Christmas episode. This will give me time to hang out with the other guys.

*A Week Later* I'm super excited, because Darren and I are hanging out today! We are just going to watch Harry Potter and eat food, but I'm still really looking forward to it. I haven't seen him for a few days, we met up for coffee the first day off, but I haven't seen him since them.

I'm currently in the grocery store, buying food for our day. I already have red vines, popcorn, chips, and of course diet coke. The only thing left I have to get is Dare's favorite kind of apple juice.

As I head home from the store I can't help but smile. I know that recently we've had some awkward and confusing things happen, and I still have a crush on him, but he really is my best friend! I love being in his company and just enjoy having him around.

It's 15 minutes after when Darren was supposed to be at my condo, and he hasn't even sent me a text to let me know he's running late. This is really unlike him and I'm getting a little worried, so I send him a text.

Hey Darren! Just wanted to make sure you are okay? Because you aren't over yet, and I'm worried something happened! I'm sure it's nothing (: See you soon! –CC

I turn on the TV and put on a reality show to preoccupy me while I wait for him to show up. But I really am not paying attention, all my focus is on my phone, just waiting for a reply.

Another twenty minutes pass by and I am nervous. What if something bad happened to him? What if he got in a car accident? A million ideas run through my head, so I decide to just call him, which will hopefully stop my worries.

The phone rings three times before Darren finally answers.

I'm-"

"Darren! THANK GOODNESS!"

"Ha-ha, I'm happy to hear you too, but why so pleased to hear my voice?"

"Well, I was sitting here waiting for you to come over for our Harry Potter marathon, and then I texted you because you usually don't run late, so I was worried, but then you didn't reply and I had a lot of 'what ifs?' so I called you. But thank goodness you're okay! And hopefully on your way over?"

There's a pause on the other end of the line and I wait for his response. I hear him mutter something, but can't make it out.

"Oh, Chris. Ugh. I forgot that we were hanging out today! I'm super sorry I'm not over there!"

I'm a little hurt that he forgot, but it happens and he can just come over now, better late than never! "Oh it's okay! You can just come over now, I mean, if you want! I even bought apple juice, because I know you don't like diet coke."

There's another slight pause before Darren responds. He sighs, saying " Chris, I'm really sorry, but I can't hang out right now. I made plans to hang out with Chord, actually I'm at his apartment right now."

There's an awkward pause as I realize what he's just said. "Oh. Okay. Well, we can reschedule for another day? I'm pretty much free until Christmas Eve."

"Yeah, that sounds great! I'm really sorry about not coming but I promise to make it up to you! I have to go though, so talk to you later?"

"Okay, yeah, I'll talk to you later."

With that he hangs up, and I realize we didn't even say good bye. I sigh, sinking into my sofa. Well my day just got a whole lot worse.

I can't believe he forgot. I can't believe he made plans with someone else and forgot me. It just feels really awful.

But the worst part is Darren is my best friend and he just doesn't seem to care about me. I have issues with people not caring about me from high school and being bullied, and although through glee and my adult life I have gotten much more confident and moved past it, but I still am sensitive. So to have Darren, who I really care about, just ditch me, especially for something I was so excited for, hurts. It just hurts.

*Right before the phone call* Chord and I have been hanging out at his house for about an hour now, just playing video games and joking. I really enjoy hanging out with him and I can say that honestly I find him attractive. Not like Chris, because Chris is someone I want to date and love, but Chord is very good-looking.

We are in the middle of shooting some aliens when my phone rings. "I should probably get that," I say, heading over to the table where it sits. He pauses the game, and I see that it's Chris who's calling. I'll answer but I'll make it quick.

"Hey Chris!" I'm-"

"Darren! THANK GOODNESS!" Wow. He's certainly excited.

"Haha, I'm happy to hear you too, but why so pleased to hear my voice?"

"Well, I was sitting here waiting for you to come over for our Harry Potter marathon, and then I texted you because you usually don't run late, so I was worried, but then you didn't reply and I had a lot of 'what ifs?' so I called you. But thank goodness you're okay! And hopefully on your way over?"

Oh shoot, that's right! We had plans today! I can't believe I didn't remember. "Oh, Chris. Ugh. I forgot that we were hanging out today! I'm super sorry I'm not over there!"

"Oh it's okay! You can just come over now, I mean, if you want! I even bought apple juice, because I know you don't like diet coke."

He bought me apple juice? Aww, that's so sweet! This is why I love Chris, he's so loving and kind. But oh no, I can't go over. Even though I want to. But I'm with Chord and I can't just leave. I sigh, replying " Chris, I'm really sorry, but I can't hang out right now. I made plans to hang out with Chord, actually I'm at his apartment right now."

There's silence on the other end but finally he responds. "Oh. Okay. Well, we can reschedule for another day? I'm pretty much free until Christmas Eve."

He sounds hurt and it makes my heart sad. I can't believe I forgot about this! "Yeah, that sounds great! I'm really sorry about not coming but I promise to make it up to you! I have to go though, so talk to you later?"

"Okay, yeah, I'll talk to you later."

I hang up and can't help but feel sad. I really wish I could go over to Chris and be with him, but I can't. But I try and put a smile on my face and head back to where Chord is.

"Hey man, everything fine?"

"Yep, it was just Chris, he was checking in and stuff."

"Oh yeah, he's cool about that, always making sure everyone's happy and stuff. Ready to keep playing?"

I sigh, because those words are so true. "Yeah, he is. And sure, let's play.

I'm worried that I really hurt Chris's feelings and I hope he's not mad. I'll have to call him when I get home.

It's four days after Christmas and we go back to filming in five. I haven't seen Darren once in that time, yet he has reassured me a couple times that "we will definitely hang out soon!"

At first I thought it was just unlucky, or bad timing that we hadn't hung out. But now I'm sure he's avoiding me. Why else would he turn down or have an excuse for every idea to see each other I have?

I've hung out with Ashley a couple times, because besides her and Darren, everyone else is mainly gone for the holidays. I feel lonely, but Ashley and I just hung out yesterday so I don't want to bug her again.

Even though I know it will just make me sad when he doesn't really care or show enthusiasm, I text Darren anyways.

Hey Dare, how are you? I saw we aren't in the next episode at all really, bummer, But at least we get extra time on break (: -CC

I hit send and walk glumly to the kitchen. I open the fridge to see what there is to eat, but when I look at the shelves I see the unopened apple juice which just makes me want to cry. I know it's stupid, because it's really not a big deal. But I do feel really sad about it right now, and since there is nothing better to do, I let myself grieve.

I decide that today will be a day just for me. I will watch guilty pleasure movies and eat lots of sweets, because what does it matter? Might as well try and do something fun. I head to the store to get some films.

I've just finished making all my food and sit down to my first movie. I'm watching Mamma Mia, because not only is it a guilty pleasure movie it's also a musical, so I can sing along, which makes everything better.

I sit back into my couch and let the sweet voice of Amanda Seyfried fill my ears. By the chorus of Honey, Honey, though, I'm no longer listening but singing. It feels good to relax.

A few hours later I'm still sitting on my couch, the only difference is I'm surrounded by Chinese take out boxes and 7 empty diet coke cans. So far I've watched Mamma Mia, The Little Mermaid, The first Star Wars, and I'm finishing it off with The Titanic.

I check my phone in a slow scene and see that it's a little past midnight. I didn't even realize how late it was and I can feel myself yawning. But the movie keeps me up.

It's almost done and I am sobbing. Why did I choose to watch a sad movie? I can't stop crying as I watch the lovers sadness. This is horrible. By now the credits are rolling and the tears are still coming. Then, because my brain has been soaked in romance all day, I think of Darren. And I remember that I was supposed to have a movie marathon with him. What I would give to have him here, hugging me right now and drying my tears.

I start crying harder and I can't stop. All the sadness at being ignored and forgotten has built up and I let it go. I curl up into a ball and just let my self sob, because as horrible as it feels, letting myself grieve feels good too. I cry myself to sleep, alone and melancholy.

A/N: Ok, please don't be mad, it can't all be fluff & good stuff! But the next chapter will continue with this and be posted REALLY SOON! So that's good :) Please give us feedback & thank you so much for reading!