Answer to guest/anon reviews:

Guest#3: Ignoring the fact that he's her older brother, I find it extremely hard to place them in a IlluRia situation. Maybe in a short oneshot? I'm not opposed to that pairing but I don't think I can space to insert it in this story. Maybe in later chapters though.

Hey: Thanks for the compliment. n.n

Anonymous: Thanks for the review! Don't worry, I won't be abandoning this story anytime soon.

Guest#2: Nope, sorry, not him.

Guest#1: Nah, not him. You were close though. ^0^

Reviewerr: As you should've know by now, it's not him. Thanks for the review at any rate.

198: Good point. He doesn't know because they've been going through the four years never shown in the series. She knows nothing of what will happen in those four years so he doesn't think much about her precognitive abilities either. Trust me, he'd suspect. Just not anytime soon.

Lorelei: Nah... tq for the review though.

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Disclaimer: I OWN nothing but my OC, Hunter x Hunter belongs to its rightful owner.

Warning(s): Violence. Blood. Language.

Beta: Arii-hime.

CRYING WOLF
by: Riseha

Chapter 14

Uncontrollable

I'd be going against Hanzo.

I exhaled sharply in relief, my hand loosening on Kurapika's. He glared slightly at me and cracked his knuckles to get the feeling back in his hands again. I shrugged apologetically, though, I must say, it's nice to hold Kurapika's hand (well, breaking his bones anyway).

"Hanzo's an extremely persistent man," remarked Kurapika, frowning thoughtfully down at me. "Can you actually make him give up?"

I'd torture him so bad, he'd be screaming and begging for me to stop. The ability was seriously double-edged. When I cast it, I myself would be trapped within the illusion (depending on what sort and how I chose to make it), completely vulnerable. I could also make it brief, but it'd be so quick that the victim wouldn't remember anything but the experience would still be crippling enough to disable them—naturally, it would effect myself and my friends.

I'll make it brief, I promised myself. I didn't want to hurt Hanzo too badly. I glanced at the Old Man, wondering if knew what my plan was and whether or not he approved.

Completely ignoring Hanzo's boasting about his ninja training (I've been trained to be an assassin and tortured since birth, man, you're a novice compared to me), I was wondering whether or not it'd work on Illumi.

The few seconds I would take to weave the illusion, needing the utmost concentration and imagination, would be crucial to me. Illumi who could kill in a second... against the time to make the illusion... well, my chances weren't all that good. On the other hand, I could use Briefing—could just scour the enemy's mind for his worst nightmares and use it against him.

Of course, if that person was emotionally strong and wouldn't break down, it'd be useless and I'd be drained of energy for nothing.

My limit was three major illusions so far without passing out. I could use minor tricks (such as fooling the five senses) without feeling too tired.

"Good luck," Kurapika said, smiling slightly. I nodded absentmindedly.

I stepped onto the arena, glancing at Hanzo's earnest brown eyes. What his biggest fear? This guy didn't seem like he had ever done anything horrifying enough to have a nightmare haunting him.

Pain, torture, my assassin-trained mind supplied. He was a ninja, he'd merely trained his body, but could he handle an attack directly at the mind?

I glared into his brown eyes.

"Noel," he was saying. "we were allies in the Trick Tower and you saved my life, for that, I couldn't be grateful enough. That is why, I'll insist you give up now. I do not want to do to you as I did your friend, Gon—"

He was a sort-of friend. I knew I was stronger than him, I had nothing to prove, and to whom? Grandfather already knew my prowess in battle, I knew I had done him proud.

You don't want to disappoint me, do you?

I shuddered, feeling my teeth chatter against my will. That voice sounded like Illumi—impossible, I wasn't the same brainwashed kid from years back then, and I knew he didn't have a needle in my brain to manipulate me.

But that wasn't the point. Back at the problem at hand: Hanzo was still staring at me solemnly, waiting for my decision. To fight or to give up?

Give up, a part of me that hadn't completely lose all morals from my past life whispered insistently. You never knew how to hold back, you'll hurt him too badly.

A bead of sweat trickled down my forehead. I could sense my brothers's stares on my back, practically imploring me to show my true colors as one of them.

Never, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Illumi's said. Use every opportunity they give you. You are an assassin. You have no need for useless distractions as feelings, friends and loyalty. You live only for your job—an assassin and we do not feel emotions. Killkillkillkill—

d i e

Hanzo! Dimly, I was aware of myself—a part of me—screaming for the bald guy to run away from me i'll kill you I couldn't restrain myself.

Blood colored my vision. I blinked rapidly, hearing gasps of horror, clapping, soft laughter and the dreadedhorriblemonstrous sound of a body falling lifelessly onto the ground.

I pulled my arm back, staring, dazed, at the blood on hand. My knees were jelly; the next thing I knew, I had slumped into a warm body—a living target, should I kill—

Someone grabbed my arm and ushered me out of the arena. The first match: I was disqualified, and I had practically confirmed I was still under Illumi's control, my bloodlust and assassin instincts hadn't dulled no matter how much I had meditated and—

"Breathe, you're hyperventilating," Grandfather's voice broke through my panic-addled mind, needing to remind me how to do something so basic.

"Of course I know how to breathe," I snapped, wheezing slightly, feeling out of breath as if I had ran a marathon. "Why does everyone tell people something that pointless? If I ever tell anyone the same thing, I want you to kick me!"

I blinked, suddenly finding myself in the infirmary again. Fortunately for my pride (it could only take so much beating), I hadn't completely passed out in shock; I slumped onto one of the many beds.

Grandfather let out a low whistle. "If you're snapping at me already, I'm sure you're okay." Then, as if to make things worse for me, he said, "Your killing intent is as powerful as before. I thought you lost the bloodlust already."

I kicked my legs in the air. "How did everyone...?"

"Shocked, of course," supplied Grandfather cheerfully. "But I think your twin brother's jumping for joy. Dunno about your older brother though, he seemed... pleased."

"Am I disqualified?" I wondered if Hanzo was already dead.

"Your opponent tried to dodge, it's fortunate he saw the attack when he did," mused Grandfather. "He has talents to be a great Hunter. He's alive, and since he's in no condition to fight, you won."

I laughed bitterly, harshly. "Should I even be given the title Hunter?"

Grandfather's unreadable brown eyes softened a degree. "You never asked for such a family."

I scowled heavily, hearing him trying to comfort me was just making me feel even worse. As if I was weak, unable to change, forever a puppet to Illumi's teachings and wills. I want to be free of him, of everything bad in the past and move on to be a simple teenager who just want to spend time with her family and could actually feel the mutual love.

"They're... not completely terrible," I mumbled miserably, sounding as if I was lying even to myself.

"Why did you try to kill Hanzo?" Grandfather asked curiously. "I'm sure you could have just used your Nen on him..."

"I kept feeling Illumi's eyes on me, Killua's hopefulness and their combined expectancy; waiting to see that I'm really one of them," I spat, feeling like crushing something underfoot. "Then, when he drew his weapon, I just sort of... reacted... in a way I know." I couldn't bring myself to look at the old man. "By killing."

"Just so you know: you failed," he offered cheerfully. "When you're well enough, do come to the waiting room. We have a special lesson for newbie Hunters."

He left, probably knowing how much weight had been lifted off my shoulders by our little chat.

I glanced at the inviting bed... well, a nap wouldn't hurt.

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I ambled towards the waiting room, hesitating before entering. Everyone turned in their seats to stare at me. My knees felt weak again. Swallowing thickly, I plopped down at the nearest seat, in the last row. I felt like sinking under the ground when everyone's eyes didn't move away from me.

Illumi studied me critically, not a single emotion I could read on his face, before turning away. Hisoka grinned at me, offering a mocking salute before looking away. I glanced miserably at Kurapika and Leorio who sat together and were whispering in hushed tones.

Wonder what they were taking about.

Leorio paled noticeably when he saw me and turned away—evidently, he was spooked. Kurapika gave me a halfhearted wave before turning back to Leorio and chatting about who-knows-what. Gon wasn't present.

Where was Killua? The old guy, Badaro or Bodoro—whatever, I don't care—wasn't here, Hanzo wasn't here either. I did quick calculations, eventually coming to the conclusion that the old guy was dead or had lost. The only reason Killua wouldn't be here was either because he was with Gon in the other infirmary or he was disqualified.

If he went against Illumi... I could see why he was disqualified.

I strained my ears, eventually hearing the sound of angry stomping coming in our direction.

My heart sank when Gon stormed in, the door nearly slamming into me. I jerked slightly but Gon wasn't paying attention. He strode right up to Illumi, glaring; he looked ridiculously weak with a broken arm in comparison to Illumi who was immaculate as ever.

"Where's Killua?"

I didn't dare exhale, wincing imperceptibly when Illumi slowly turn in his seat to face Gon.

"I won't repeat myself: where's Killua?"

Illumi's lips parted: "Why should I tell you?"

"I'm his friend!"

Illumi would've scoffed if he knew how to openly express himself. "He has no need for friends or meaningless bonds like that." I shot my oldest brother a strange look, he wasn't this cold years ago. What changed him? He never seemed to oppose the bond between me and Killua or the bonds we had with our other siblings.

Gon's working arm shot out; my eyes widened when he threw Illumi into air. My brother crash-landed on Hisoka's table. The clown looked amused, as opposed to the rest of the room's horror.

"Tell me!"

Illumi sat up, unperturbed as he started dusting himself. Unmistakably, his black eyes turned to me. I felt like hunching in on myself, fortunately, I was too frozen in shock to even move. "Ask her," he said. "we live together after all."

"Noel?" Gon looked mystified. "You know where Killua is?"

I glanced at Illumi, trying to see what he was playing at—a futile attempt as he just stared me down, unreadable as ever. I wondered if he was testing my loyalties; let my friends (who'd probably turn their back on me) know, or continue hiding.

I was tempted to shake my head. I glanced at the front, where I saw Grandfather and the other Hunters watching this family drama unfold—sadistic as Grandfather may be, I know he wouldn't let anything happen to me.

"Yeah," I said, swallowing the sandpaper out of my mouth. "I'll... lead you guys there."

I felt like I'd signed my death warrant.

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Surprisingly, Leorio and Kurapika were willing to follow Gon and I to what could possibly be our death sentence. Were they counting on me to protect them? I hope not. They'd just be disappointed—I don't think I could lift a finger against my family, not even little Kalluto and the defenseless Alluka.

"I'm surprised," I said, clearing my throat for their attention. They shot me questioning looks, prompting me to elaborate. "That you all wanted to follow us. I didn't know you guys were particularly close to Killua."

Leorio snorted. "That little brat is far from my best friend, but... agh! What sort of question is that? As long as he's my friend, I won't abandon him!"

"Ah... I see," I mumbled, just to say something. The silence was tense and awkward. I wondered if I should have just given them directions and let them go themselves instead of going along. Okay, I admit it: I was using this as an opportunity to go home, see Millu-nii, Kalluto and Alluka again.

"I see it," mumbled Leorio, drawing our attention. I glanced out the window; Kurapika who was sitting beside me had to lean back so that I can see it. "The lair of a family of killers, that alone sets a gloomy look." He turned back to us. "I say we find an inn first and make a plan."

"Are you trying to infiltrate that mansion?" I deadpanned. Kurapika snorted.

"It'll be okay," said Gon confidently before the Kuruta could speak. "We're just visiting a friend, aren't we?"

"He's nuts," mumbled Kurapika under his breath, though his words lack heat and he was rolling his eyes in amusement.

The train's whistle hooted as we came to a stop. "This way," I said. "We get off here and then we can take a bus carrying tourists to Kukuroo Mountain."

We were silent as I led them to the bus stop. I could feel their curiosity brimming over the lid, and they sorely wanted me to confirm my connection to that family but not of them dare to breach the subject lest I go crazy. I glanced down at my hand—the one that I had thrust into Hanzo's body. My fingernails were still crusted with blood; I grimaced, wishing I could wash my hand.

I tore my gaze from the dried blood, absentmindedly rubbing my fingers against Killua's thin white shirt, as I studied our surroundings. I hadn't been to the Republic of Pedokia since four years ago.

Very little had changed. Hawkers still opened their stalls by the streets, I recognized a few of them, especially the fat lady who sold us our daily meat. I like her because she was friendly and never bothered treating us Zoldycks differently whenever we came to buy food from her. She was busy tending to other customers, she didn't see me though I wondered how she'd react to seeing me who was supposed to be dead.

"You seem very familiar," remarked Kurapika.

I nodded. "Yeah, I used to come here with my older brother—" I stopped, my face hardening.

"That creepy guy who called himself Illumi?"

I shot Leorio a brief glare. "He'd never bother with grocery shopping," I said, snorting at the mere thought. "I came here with my food-loving brother."

I glanced at the mountain where I knew he'd be, too wistful for my liking. Outside of the stuffy and dark mansion, at the top of the watch house, I could see the impressive scenery. There were things of Kukuroo Mountain I had missed dearly: the scent of the forest, the sound of the rushing creek, the chirping of the birds, the howls of our pet dogs and the sunset or sunrise view I could always see. At the top where the Zoldycks reside, the constellation was easy to see; watching the stars was something Kalluto and I liked to do.

"So, that Illumi is your older brother?" Leorio wondered. "Then... if he's Killua's brother, are you related to...?" He faltered, his voice drowned out by the bus's arrival, announced by the screeching of abused tires.

I climbed up the bus first. The tour guide beamed at us, before speaking into her mic: "Ladies and gentlemen, the company Terror Buses would like to thank you for joining us. Today, we'll be presenting you the assassin family of Dentora's Province..." She rambled on and on as I settled down by a window seat.

"I thought assassin families hide in the shadows?" Leorio sounded mystified as he glanced around at the number of tourists. "You're practically advertising their positions. Won't they be hunted constantly by rivals or enemies?"

I chuckled. "Those guys behind us, definitely not tourists, won't even get to see the family mansion before they die. Mike will devour them." I tapped my fingers repeatedly on my lap, not in any particular rhythm. "I wonder if Zebro's still working..." I trailed off, seeing my friends's confused stares. "Oh, you'll meet him soon enough."

"We're here," Gon announced, jumping to his feet and energetically skipping out of the bus.

Leorio rolled his eyes. "He made it seem like we're really on vacation." He stepped off the bus, gaping at the impressive stone gates. "Ooh... impressive."

"This is the main entrance," The tour guide was saying. "we call it the entrance to the Other World. The reason is simple: once you passed through, you'll never make it out alive. To enter, we use the little door on the side, and we'll see the doorkeeper."

I snorted derisively, earning strange looks. "From this point is the private property of the Zoldycks," I said. "You can't go in there."

"She's right, everyone," Ms. Guide said, smiling cheerfully.

Leorio stared at me in disbelief. "Then how are we going to see Killua?" I shrugged, not willing to answer in front of so many people. He turned back to the tour guide. "Why can't we go in? The mountain is still very far away!"

Ms. Guide's smile widened. "The family owns the mountain and the land around it, beginning from the land surrounded by huge stone walls."

Kurapika balked. "You mean this is their private garden?" He glanced at me for confirmation. Unable to help the smirk, I nodded.

"Ms. Guide?" Gon called, turning to the blonde lady. "How do we get in?"

The lady's smile turned a little stiff, prompting my smirk to widen. "Did you listen to what I said?" Gon nodded, protests coming out of his mouth but Ms. Guide cut him off swiftly. "It's a killer's lair. If you go in, you'll never come out alive."

The fat guy snorted. "That's a bluff..."

While he rambled on and on, insulting the Zoldycks—my family—I had to duck behind Kurapika to hide the murderous expression on my face. It took a great deal of conscious effort and shushing from my friends to suppress my killing intent when they 'intimidated' Zebro. I knew it was an act on the old gatekeeper's part, but still...

"Are you okay?" Gon pulled away from my side and rushed to Zebro's side, helping him up, concern evident in his eyes.

Zebro nodded, sighing. "I suppose Mike will have extra snacks," he said. Louder, he yelled, "Master has forbidden you snacks between meals! If you get fat, don't come crying to me!"

"What was that?" Kurapika wondered, bewildered as he nudged me for an answer.

"The family's... pet," I said, wording it as nicely as possible.

Leorio gulped.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, I supposed now you know what'll happen when you enter... a cruel—"

"We get it!" One of the tourists yelled, running back to the bus.

"Let's get out of here!"

"Oi!" Ms. Guide yelled. "Aren't you coming? Didn't you see what happened to those two?"

"That's okay," I said. "We'll be staying."

Zebro stood, dusting his grey suit, eyeing me with surprise and wonder. "...Illyria-sama?"

I turned back to him, shoving my hands into my jeans pocket, glancing distractedly at the gates. "Yeah, it's been awhile..." I hesitated. "...Zebro."

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After establishing who I was, Zebro welcomed us into his guardhouse with open arms. He was smiling and beaming at me, courteous and gracious to my friends, shaking hands with them and reassuring them that Mike probably wouldn't eat them while I was here.

I facepalmed while Zebro talked about my childhood and events many years before.

I thought he had gotten rid of that habit by now, but apparently not: Zebro talked a lot when he was overjoyed. I felt a little happy that there was someone here who would be happy at my return.

"...I remember the first time Mike was brought to me. Well, Illyria-sama was leading him. He was her 2nd birthday gift from her father and Mike wouldn't let her leave without howling and protesting, I remember how close you two were, he howled like crazy when they said you died—speaking of which, how did—"

"Zebro," I snapped, embarrassed. "We're not here to reminisce about old times. We want to see Killua."

Zebro blinked, confused. "Well, why don't you just open the gates...?"

I waved him off. "That's a last resort. Can't we just go through the gate for intruders? Mike will recognize me."

Zebro hesitated. I was starting to suspect something was wrong. Mike wouldn't hurt me—I was ninety-nine percent sure—and Zebro knew this. "Wait, I'm going to call... y'know?"

I needed a few moments to know what he was talking about. "Oh."

"Is he calling the residence?" Gon asked.

"No, he's calling the butlers—"

"Illyria-sama?" I glanced at Zebro who was holding the phone out to me. "Someone wants to talk to you."

I hesitated before taking it. "Who's this?"

"Is this Illyria Zoldyck?" The voice was not one of the butlers or the trainees—a new someone? Impossible, I was gone for four years, and usually, an initiate would need five years of training before being inducted as one of our full-fledged butlers. "Hello?"

"Yes," I said, mildly surprised at how much I missed being call by that name. "Who's this?" I repeated, tugging at the cord.

"You don't recognize me?"

I glanced at Zebro, mouthing a question. "Milluki-sama," he whispered back.

"Millu-nii?" I wondered. "What happened to you? Your voice's different." There was also a fifty-percent chance he was bluffing. I never tried this before and I didn't know anyone who could detect Nen aura through phones, but as he spoke, I turned on Zetsu.

My brother—it was really him—coughed. "Puberty."

Zebro smiled, as if he'd heard the conversation. "You'll be surprised at how much he'd changed."

"Where's Killua?"

There was a very long silence from his end. Belatedly, I remembered that Millu-nii had never liked Killua much and vise versa. I regretted mentioning my twin's name. My brother's voice came back, coolly polite and a tad hostile. "I'll be at the butlers' residence... waiting." He hung up.

"That's..." Zebro struggled for the proper word. "...pretty insensible."

"I know," I muttered, placing the phone back. I turned back to Zebro. "Give me the key to the intruder's door. There's no way Mike won't recognize me. I fed him everyday," I muttered under my breath, snatching the key out of Zebro's outstretched hand and storming out of the guardhouse.

Leorio, as usual, spoke first when we entered. "I don't see the dog. Can we creep past him... oh, holy shit..." he faltered, gaping at the huge dog to his right.

Kurapika swallowed thickly. "It's asleep." I knew he was relieved but it was useless. Mike would wake once we try to step past him.

"Is that even a dog? Is it a mutation of a dog or something? Did you feed it rocks and steroids?" Gon glanced at me for confirmation.

"He eats meats, preferably human meat," answered Zebro. He glanced at me. "Illyria-sama, you know as well as I do Mike has a short memory. You have not been here for four years, he would no longer recognize you."

"Let's just go," muttered Leorio, glancing at me nervously. "Noe—Illyria?"

I inhaled deeply, stepping closer to the dog, and did the last thing they expected me to do: I yelled.

"Mike, wake!"

Question: When they split, before the Yorknew City arc, who do you think Illyria should go with? Kurapika or Gon and Killua? Or go off on her own, or... well, review your suggestion! n.n

Also, check out my HxH story: h.t.t.p / / www. fanfiction. net s/9779101/1/Betting-Games (remove the spaces and dots)

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