A/N: Hello everybody, I hope all is well with you, I am terribly sorry for my absence, someone very close to me passed and I couldn't find much passion or energy for writing. I hope you'll forgive me, I know there are better excuses. Thanks as always for the continued support, I don't think I'll ever get to responding directly to those Episode 17 reviews but I do greatly appreciate them. And to those that reviewed even in my absence, urging me to update, thank you. You are the reason I have written this. I hope this will suffice for now, I couldn't muster much but I threw in an unplanned Brallie scene to show my sincerest apologies. On a side note, I hope to clear up any questions you may have about my writing style, I know there seems to be some run-on sentences and strange structure and stuff but I assure you I am keenly aware of it, I've purposely done it to prove a point or display something. I hope it's easy for you to infer! Also, is there a great following still reading this story? Just wondering, I know it's hard to get that Foster fever when the show's been gone so long, and I don't want to keep writing this if there's only about ten people reading it. Just let me know, yeah? Thank you :) You are all amazing as always, thank you for your inquiries. P.S. The reason Lena's home in this episode is because she wanted to take the day off for Stef's first day (and because of my inconsistencies with writing, guilty), so assume there's another vice-principal in her place. Awe, fluffy supportive wife stuff!

Episode 18

He wants to drive to her house now.

He wants to stop, with everybody still in the car, bang on her door until it swings open under his fist, and yell at her. Yell at her because she lied she lied she lied when she knows that all he wants right now is the truth. The truth about everything, his dad, Callie, everything that has ever deceived him, remained hidden from him. He's not a kid, he deserves the truth, and lately that's been his mantra. Talya's heard it several times and she lies on.

He doesn't even notice he's white-knuckling the steering wheel until Callie turns on the radio, purposely trying to catch his eye, and shoots him a look. The country twang slices through silence that had, unbeknownst to him in his blind rage, fallen in the car. He releases his shoulder and leans back into his seat, trying to breathe, but Talya's house is so close and Callie is so close and his dad was so close and all he can think about is how everything always seems so close but just out of his reach.

"So...how was school?" Mariana draws out, trying in vain to avoid the awkward pitch-change in her voice due to the strange situation, "For anybody, I mean. It's not directed at anyone specifically."

"I think we got you, Mariana." Jesus does not chuckle, but there is humor in his eyes. Mariana is tolerable compared to that raven-haired girl he's sure won't stop trying to entertain his company, and then he's wondering if he should mention her at all, since she did seem to know about what happened to their mom, and they deserve just as well as him to know when the word is out about their family. But it's obvious there's some underlying tension in the car and he doesn't dare add to it, not now, so he answers in short, his usual answer. "My day sucked."

Mariana raises both eyebrows. "Throwing us a curve ball there, Jesus." she drones sarcastically, before addressing Jude. "Hey, why don't you tell Callie what you got on your math test?"

Callie adjusts her seat belt so she can pivot in her seat. "What'd you get?"

"An 89!" he pouts, throwing his hands in the air. "One point away from an A! How could they do that to me?"

"Hey," she sets him with a look, "I'm sure it was little mistakes you made. As long as you reviewed it, you won't make the same ones again. An 89 is an A to me, anyway."

"It's not an A to Miss Lewis."

Callie rolls her eyes before turning back around in her seat, catching Brandon briefly, who seemed less in his own little world as he listened to her and Jude interact. When he glances at her, her lips twitch up in the semblance of a smile, though he doesn't return one.

"Brandon?"

He peeks into the rear view mirror at Mariana. "Huh?"

"How about you?" she prompts, and when his eyebrows draw together, confused, she adds, "How was your day?"

He pulls into the driveway, letting out a long breath the whole way. The whole car seems to be watching him, waiting for his answer. He releases his seat belt and says, "About to get a whole lot worse."

"Hey guys! How was school?"

"What happened with Dad?" Brandon demands, ignoring Lena entirely and fixating on his mom, who pauses just as she's about to put a grape in her mouth, fully uniformed in the kitchen. The interruption is so unexpected that almost everybody just walks away, all except Callie, who hangs back in the doorway. Lena is taken aback by his tone, though she's not insulted by his want to know, as he has a right to, but it's his mother's first day back at work and he doesn't bother asking how it's been so far. She even came home on a break just to see them (though it was mostly for Lena's sake). "Why isn't he working? He showed up at school today and tried talking to Callie. What happened?"

"We were going to tell you tomorrow." Stef assures him, placing the grape back on the plate in front of her for the fear that if she eats it he'll be offended by the casualness and think she's not taking him seriously. "We wanted to settle into things again a little."

"Don't you get it? Things aren't going to settle! I just found out that Talya's dad had skin cancer, not lung cancer! She's been to lying to me this whole time! And now I see Dad outside of school looking like another homeless man! Tell me, mom," he pants, red in the face, unaware he's tensing the muscles in it, "they fired him, didn't they?"

At this point, Callie sneaks away upstairs, where she finds Jesus, Mariana and Jude all huddled at the top, clearly eavesdropping on the ordeal. She shakes her head and ushers Jude off into his bedroom to start his homework, to which he whines about always being out of the loop.

Stef and Lena exchanged equally weary expressions. "Yes," Stef finally sighs, "yes, your father was laid off."

"Laid off?" he repeats bitterly, "no, you make it sound as if the decision was tough for them, he was fired, I know it, my dad's a complete, drunken loser, just say it!"

"He was already being evaluated before this, Brandon, it wasn't just because of his drinking problem," she explains, then unsure if she should even tell him about what Ana saw, adds in hopes he'll drop the former half of her explanation, "but your father isn't a loser. He needs help but he's not a loser, just a little lost."

But she hasn't thrown him off. "Being evaluated? For what?"

Half-expecting him to ask anyway, she's ready with a reply. "Just the way he carried out procedures, nothing major. Look, your father really needs a good support system right now and we're going to get him some help. But he's not going to get anywhere without you behind him." When he starts to open his mouth in obvious opposition, she goes on, "I know you're not happy with him right now and we don't have to jump into anything but think about it. He loves you and I know you love him, that hasn't changed."

He shakes his head. "Everything has changed."

"B-"

But he's already got his car keys in his hand again and is heading out the door.

"Brandon?" Talya looks almost frightened as she finds him on her doorstep, and she only allows a small crack in her door so she can squeeze out. "I didn't know you were coming by? Were we supposed to hang out?"

He drops his keys in his pocket. "Can I come in and see your dad?"

"He's bedridden," she says quickly, tugging her sweater around her body, practically disappearing in her shell, "and not really accepting guests, if you know what I mean." She attempts a chuckle but it sounds forced and awkward. "It's one of those moods."

He nods. "Right, well, I'm in one of those moods, too, and I came here to see your dad, so I'm going to see your dad."

"It's fine-" she begins, trying to side step in front of him, but he pushes past her swiftly and opens the door himself, finding Talya's mom in the living room watching some home design show. She looks up at the sound of him entering forcefully. "Oh, Brandon, what a nice surprise! We were just talking about how we haven't seen you around here lately!"

"Let's just go get some food or something, Brandon," Talya panics, but Brandon ignores her and goes with the whole charade, replying casually, "Yeah, Talya hasn't invited me over lately, you know, since everything with her father..."

She raises an eyebrow as he trails off, unsure of why the skin cancer would be reason to keep him away. "Oh?"

"Brandon, seriously, I'm just hungry-"

"Yeah, lung cancer, wow, I'm really sorry to hear it."

"Lung cancer?"

"Brandon-"

"Talya?"

Talya stops whining and brings herself to look at her mom. "What's going on?"

But before she can answer her dad steps into the room from another, grinning as he spots Brandon. "Hey, Brandon! Good to see you! We were just talking about how we haven't seen you in a while," he bellows, shaking his hand firmly.

"Yeah, well," he turns to look, almost with disgust, at the girl next to him, "that might be because Talya told me you had lung cancer instead of skin cancer, and had to keep me away to keep up with her lies."

The room, at this point, has grown unnaturally quiet, except for the television, which continues to blast decorating tips throughout the cold room. Most eyes settle on Talya, but Brandon is done looking at her. In fact, his job is done completely, and with one last gander at the flabbergasted couple he nods his head.

"I hope you'll forgive me for the intrusion, I better be going now."

As he turns to leave, Talya has the nerve to call after him. "Brandon, wait!"

But it falls on deafened ears.

The rapping on his door is just that, rapping, and he wouldn't have heard it if he wasn't just sitting on his bed, staring at the textbook in his lap. He doesn't want to talk to anyone right now, especially not his mom, so he doesn't say anything, but the knob turns with a creak anyway, revealing Callie in the doorway. "Hey, I just wanted to see if you were okay."

He doesn't say anything, though she didn't expect him to, so she goes on. "I mean, I know you aren't but I know what it's like to be on the other end of the questions and sometimes it's nice to just hear someone ask it, anyway."

He looks up, glassy-eyed, and nods. "Thanks."

There's silence for a few seconds, and when he returns to his book again, she shuffles around awkwardly before whispering, "Okay, goodnight."

"Wait," he demands, and she does, and when he looks up again his eyes aren't watery anymore, they're clear, as if by some revelation or just a matter of time, "don't think that I'm just going to let this go."

She takes a step inside the room, tilting her head a little. "Let what go?"

"Us,"

She can't contain her scoff. "Brandon, you just broke up with Talya, and not only that but-"

"I know," he barks, tossing the textbook aside and rising from his bed, "I know, there's Jude, and there's the rules, and there's all of these other things trying to tell us that it won't work but you can't keep pretending that you don't feel it, too."

"Brandon," she says, almost incredulous, "you realize that doing...whatever this is...only sacrifices any chance at happiness for me?"

"You have two choices," he states, strolling up to her to close the door behind her, "and one sacrifices your happiness, but I'm telling you it's not the one that you think. It's not the one that you keep pretending is."

"You are on some trip today that you may regret tomorrow, Brandon, now is not the time to do this."

"When is it ever the time for you?" he asks, and she falls back into the door, trying to put some space between their faces, her heart thumping wildly in her chest. This is a different side of Brandon, a little darker, more dangerous. It's definitely strange, but the butterflies in her stomach seem to have doubled.

"You're right, never." she breathes, blindly reaching for the door knob to escape, but he catches it himself before she does. "This isn't a good idea, Brandon."

"Tell me you don't feel anything and I'll leave you alone."

"I have told you," she almost whines, "but you haven't stopped, what's different now?"

"Everything's different now. I can take another loss."

And maybe it's the way he says it, the way he sounds slightly unsure, though his face is unwavering, or maybe it's the way he has her pinned, his last resort, or the way it finally feels like just the two of them, and everything is so raw and truthful, that makes her roll up onto her toes and kiss him.

It's brief, but Brandon doesn't press, he simply questions, "And what did that mean?"

"I don't know...yet."

"You pity-"

"No," she shakes her head furiously. "No, I don't pity you. I just...I just need time. To think."

He sighs and walks away from her, towards his keyboard. Just that fact alone is a step in the right direction, he hasn't hit a key in over a week. "If you had been as demanding with money as time, we'd be broke."

She swings open the door and steps out into the cool hallway. "Goodnight, Brandon."

Next week on The Fosters:

Jesus must face the girl again, and the family rumors

Brandon must decide whether to support his dad or not

and more

All new, Monday, October 7th