Natalia hurried out of the General's briefing room, hoping to find Ivan waiting outside. He had a habit of wandering. She wished she could understand what he was thinking, why he'd killed that girl. He was the one who'd given the order to look for survivors in the first place. Contractors, they were so difficult to work with. The crisp night was empty, he must have walked off. Natalia fingered one of her blades absentmindedly. It was a bad habit, but their presence helped her relax. She had been so helpless, but not anymore. Now where was he? Natalia stormed around to the back of the ramshackle building, and there he was, framed pale against the sickly lamplight. He was looking up to the stars, his breath a dying wisp of frost clinging to the darkness. Only a pale slice of his face was illuminated, mercury white, inset with his violet eyes. His scarf grasped at the air like reaching hands. Natalia halted, feet crunching in the snow. She just couldn't understand him, that blatant show of force in the briefing room. What was he trying to do? He still hadn't noticed her. She dug her hands into her coat pockets and shuffled closer.
"What the hell were you doing in there, Ivan? After all the General has done for us." He didn't look at her, just up at the stars.
"How many stars fell that day, for a useless envelope?"
"Don't talk like that. It's our job to act, not to ask why. You're a Contractor, Ivan, start acting like one." She pulled out one of her stilettos and started flipping it in her palm. It became a wheeling line of silver in the dark. There was nothing more beautiful than that arc of light. "Stop pretending you feel something you don't. You'll do something you'll regret." In a second he was looming over her. He could stand so still that she forgot how fast he moved. She caught the knife again and he clenched her fingers in his fist, leaning over so the mist from his breath billowed over her face.
"What do you know about what I am? They all think I'm a monster, but you're the real monster. I never asked for this," he hissed between clenched teeth, squeezing her fingers tighter. The knife slipped from her hand, dropping lost into the snow. "You have a choice. You were never commanded to kill, but you think you have the right to rip away lives. You're colder than all the rest of us." Natalia flicked her other hand inside of her jacket and another knife slid into her palm. Instead of pulling away from his grasp, she leaned closer. She ran her hand over his face, running the flat of the blade along his skin. He stood frozen as the cold metal brushed his face. She could do it, too. Just a flick of the wrist and it would be over; the snow would be bathed in red. Oh, she was so fond of red. Anything to drown out all this white.
"No, Ivan," she cooed, brushing back his pale hair with the tip of her knife. She pressed herself up against him, but there was no warmth there. If I cut him will he even bleed, or is his blood frozen in his veins? His hand still crushed her fingers. "You are a monster, such a beautiful monster. Killing is all you know, all you'll ever know. Go on, break me, crush me in your hands." She almost wished he would, that pain so sweet. Her fingers itched to turn the knife onto its blade, to carve weeping patterns into that frozen face. "Just admit it. All you'll ever be is a beast on a chain." His eyes flared. "Does that anger you? Just do it. It's all you'll ever be able to do. Come on now. Do it." She knew she had a manic smile on her face as she screamed the words, but couldn't control it. Her blood was pounding hot in her head. He threw her hand down and shoved her roughly away. He hit her solidly across the face. She landed in a pile of dirty snow. A trickle of blood ran along Ivan's jaw from where her knife had slipped. He let it drip onto the pale snow. So he does bleed. That made her laugh harder.
"I will not let you turn me into a monster." His face was twisted in anger, lips pulled back over bared teeth. Natalia could taste blood at the back of her mouth. Her head rang and her vision was blurred. She laughed hysterically.
"You already are one," she growled from a split lip, licking at the blood with a darting tongue. Such a beautiful beast.
Ivan leaned over her, pressing his shaking fists to his side. Below him, Natalia bit down on her bloody lip, pulling the ripped skin apart and sending another trickle of blood down her pale chin. Her tongue flicked across her mouth like a snake. She laughed wildly, inhumanly, baring red teeth. Disgusting. You are human, but you are so much less than we are. He drew back his foot and stomped down hard on her head. She slouched into the snow, her stiletto dropping from her hand. The blood was freezing on his face, and he wiped it away callously with the back of his hand.
The wind had started to pick up, but he didn't seem to notice. He was used to the cold. It's all you'll ever know. He shook his head and turned around. Natalia groaned behind him, sprawled out on the snow. Her white hair ran like hoarfrost across her face. Maybe she'll freeze out here. Then, I'll be free. But no, not another one lost to the cold. He unbuttoned his coat and draped it across her where she lay in the snow. He barely seemed to notice the winter chill. Natalia's fingers wrapped around the thick fur lining and she burrowed deeper into it. She looked such a child there. Children are capable of the cruelest things, though. His hand went automatically to his neck, to the scarf wrapped safely round it. No greater monster than a child.
Ivan noticed the shine of steel in the snow and picked up Natalia's dropped blade. It winked red from his blood in the lamplight. Someday, I will give this back to you. He tucked it into the pocket of his jeans and headed away from the ramshackle village. He ambled, ghostlike through the world of white and black, feet making no sound in the snow. He looked to the sky, watching the etching of red across the darkness. There was fire there, warmth, and it was coming closer. If only he could find it. Behind him, there was a crunch of boots. He whirled around, flipping out the throwing knife.
"Wait, Ivan. It's only me." Ekaterina smiled up at him. Her short hair was pushed back behind her earmuffs again and her face was flushed; she had probably been running. "I just wanted to catch you before you left."
"Why do you think I'm leaving?" She shrugged her shoulders and swung back and forth on her heels, humming to herself. She pointed a gloved finger to the sky.
"It's your torch isn't it, your way out of here? From the moment you saw it, you knew you couldn't stay here." He didn't want to ask her how she came to those conclusions. Usually he could feel when she was in his head, like a shape in the corner of his eye that he could never focus on. But, he had felt nothing. This was something more than that.
"Aren't you going to stop me, call me back for the good of the Union, run off and tell Winter?" She shook her head with an impish smile.
"No, you can't stay here any longer, not after what you did to Natalia." She started to skip, tripping in the snow like a child. She kept her face to him, like she was hiding something behind her back. Instinctively, Ivan followed.
"I can't just leave, Ekaterina. What will the General do to you once he finds you let me go? What will Natalia do?"
"As far as the General knows, he saw me head towards the barracks just a minute ago. He will also see me walking towards the dining hall in about ten minutes." Ivan stared angrily at the snow under his feet. What a gross misuse of her Contract. He couldn't let her extend herself like that; there was always the risk that not all of her would make it back. She peered at his downturned face, guessing what he was thinking. "Don't worry about us, Ivan. Other people need you more than we do right now. Things can't get started without you." They had stopped by an empty train track. Metal rails snaked through the snow like mercury serpents, seeming alive in the dim light.
"Wait, what things? Ekaterina, tell me what's going on." She gave a nervous laugh.
"I don't really know. But, I know you have to go. There's a freight train that runs through here. Hop on the next one that passes by. It will take you where you need to be. Goodbye Ivan. The General will send us after you, but just keep running. Don't ever come back here. There is nothing here for you. You are alone now." No, I am always alone.
"But, Ekaterina, where am I going?" She smiled sadly and held out a bundle that she had been holding behind her back. It was another warm coat: tan, and long enough to fall around his knees, in the pocket were a pair of warm leather gloves. There was a sunflower tucked between the folded sleeves, the petals crisp and drying.
"To Hell, Ivan, but it must be cold there, because you'll need these."