Hi, everybody !
Yeah, so, I couldn't let go of this pairing. I started writing it quite some time ago, forgot about it and picked it up again. It's the second instalment of "Holiday Spirit" I wrote a while ago. As I said in the summary, it's better if you read it before reading it because I make references to it and it sets the AU clear and all.
So, before you start reading this, there are some warnings I'd like you not to overlook : there is mentions of drug taking, drug addiction, party, sex and sexual harassment (not much but well… mentions.) If you're sensitive to that, please, don' t read. There's some lime in chapter two.
I listen to a lot of songs while writing this, like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and Jeffree Star but the two songs, I think, are best to listen to while reading this are 'Don't Dream it's Over' by Crowded House and 'Illusion' by VNV Nation. The lyrics are particularly beautiful and the very title is from 'Illusion'.
So, I'll let you read and, if you liked it or think anything about it, please, let me know !
Yours truly,
AO.
Irulan truly wished to say she did not know why she was here. But she knew. Damn well, she knew : she didn't do anything without knowing. Except when it involved a certain man with a Harley Davinson.
She pushed her hair over her shoulder, carefully arranging the few rebel strands that kept getting wild with the sweet wind of the morning.
Wensicia had a fight with their parents again. This time, it involved a young man, so she heard. Her sister made a suitcase in dramatic despair and went out, took a ticket to Arrakis and called her in the train. She came to stay over for the week-end. Irulan didn't want to be part of yet another family drama. She had her dose of it when she moved out.
So if she hadn't known Paul, she would have said he miraculously saved her. But she knew Paul was the second person her father called, herself being the first. The minute she read Paul's number on her cell phone, she knew he knew everything about the situation. He graciously didn't mention it and just said :
"Do you want to come on a camping trip ?"
Seriously, the last thing Irulan wanted to do was to go on a camping trip. The ones she had done with her family always involved a very comfy cabin and a tense atmosphere. She had just agreed to shelter her sister for the week-end and she didn't want any more hazardous plans.
Paul sensed her hesitation through the phone as she was trying to make her excuse convincing :
"Stilgar will be there" he added.
"Is that meant to convince me ?"
"Well, it can't hurt to know who will be there…"
She sensed mockery in his voice and she felt her jaws tensing.
"Will your… girl… be there ?"
"Chani ? Off course she'll be there."
Oh perfect, he forgot to mention that the last time. Not that they had time to discuss anything when they woke up. She only looked at him with surprise and said : 'it never happened' before walking out.
"She won't strangle me if I show up ?"
"It's alright, I made her promise she won't."
"I'll call you back…"
"Just be outside at ten am…" she heard Paul add quickly before she hung out on him.
So now it was ten am and she was waiting outside just like Paul told her. She hated her family and she hated her life right now. She had packed an overnight bag with a towel, a make-up bag, some shower products, shoes and new clothes. She didn't know how she was supposed to sleep but he trusted Paul not to make her sleep under the stars. He knew she would kill him for that.
She was now only wearing a simple summer dress that barely covered her knees and low leather spartiates. Her hair was simply swished over her shoulder and she wore "Churchill" sunglasses by Paul Smith. Around her neck, a simple chain with a golden roaring lion was cool against her skin.
The roaring of an old engine made her lift her head just in time to see an old beat-up Jeep park in front of the building she was waiting in front of. Loud music was blaring through it and Paul jumped off the vehicle, smiling when he saw her. She only gave him her bag, which he flung in the trunk with all the others. Then, he opened the back door for her and she reluctantly climbed in.
Stilgar was driving and Chani was in the passenger seat. The young woman only blurted out a simple "Hi" to which Irulan answered with an equally short answer. Well, they didn't kill each other, that was a good beginning.
Stilgar exited the car and held the door open for Paul so he could sit behind the wheel. The next thing she knew, Stilgar was seating in the back with her and greeted her as if they were friends :
"Hey, Irulan, long time no see, how are you ?"
He was mocking her. There was no other explanation for this black "Black Rebel Motorcycle Club'" t-shirt that revealed half of his well-muscled arms and his bright smile that might have dazzled her had she not worn any sunglasses. She shrugged and mumbled : "I'm fine, thanks."
Paul started the car and off they went.
Soon the radio was blaring some Pink Floyd song Irulan was only half listening to. Chani was giving Paul some directions as they were leaving the city to enter the desert. The young woman was a bit worried : she didn't know where she was going and she had absolutely no way of going back whenever she wanted. She should have insisted to bring her car had it not been a sport car not fit for dusty roads.
By her side, Stilgar slowly humming the song's tune with his low grave voice. She couldn't help but being drawn by him. She couldn't quite figure the sensations he awakened his her but she kept having them. It was extremely infuriating. Mohiam, her psychoanalyst, spoke about hatred, anger, pride or how memory worked but they didn't have a very serious conversation about love or desire. One day, she asked if Irulan desired Paul or Feyd and she smiled when the young woman shook her head no with a small grimace. She was not supposed to feel these things and certainly not for a biker in torn jeans.
Chani's stomach growled :
"Good thing we're almost there, I'm starving ! You should have let me eat this morning !" she complained.
"We would have been late to pick Irulan up" Paul replied. "We wouldn't want that, would we ?" he added with a teasing glance to Stilgar who only shrugged.
The man only sat up in his seat (where he didn't have his seatbelt on) and slid over to Irulan's place :
"See that bridge over there ?"
"You mean that ruin ?" she answered.
"Yeah, it's quite old… It's where we're going. Near there, there's an abandoned camping site where we can sleep. Showers work most of the time but we don't have hot water."
"What do you mean, most of the time ?" Irulan asked.
Chani had a very cruel laugh to which Irulan couldn't help but pout. Well, maybe she had a lover that didn't care if she didn't eat breakfast or showered everyday but Irulan did mind !
Suddenly, Paul turned and went out of the road in the desert. Stilgar nearly landed on her lap and Irulan couldn't help but push him off before she started blushing. She really had to stop it…
It's not that waking in his arms was totally bad, on the contrary. She had enjoy the feeling of aching in her every muscle and the warmth of his skin… It only had been terribly humiliating. And she wasn't even beginning to speak about Paul's note. She had been avoiding him and his friends for quite some time now… Even her most blond friends had asked her questions about her relationship with Paul. She should take a moment to speak with him about a formal end of their false relationship : they both had what they wanted from it. She doubted her father would ever let Paul go now. But there was Chani and she doubted she could get close to Paul enough to speak with him when she was around. There was something wild and frank about here that made Irulan wonder about how she was like when she was not jealous.
The difference between that girl with her short messy hair, her tight Pink Floyd t-shirt that showed a navel piercing and her baggy torn jeans and herself made Irulan cringe : of course she never had a chance with Paul… She was a stuck-up well-raised Daddy's girl… No way she could ever attract him. She looked at the camping site that went closer and closer…
"Hey, Stil'" called Paul "There's already people out there."
"Shit" Stilgar replied "I told them not to come before 3 pm at least… I'll make a round as soon as we arrive to make sure everything is in order."
So, was there other people too ? Irulan didn't know about that… She frowned and looked more closely to see a small group of ten people roaming among small cabins and colourful sheets hung all over the ruins of the bridge. Bikes were shining in the midday heat.
Paul parked the car in the shade of the bridge and they all exited the car. Stilgar opened the trunk and took the first bag :
"A clean heavy as a corpse bag, let me guess, it must be princess Irulan's"
He had that embarrassing smile again. The young woman only took it with a mumbled 'thank you'.
Paul and Chani took their bags and Chani started heading to one of the cabins. Paul stayed behind her and turned to Irulan :
"You can take the cabin number 46. It's usually very calm and has a shower that works. I'll be in cabin 08 with Chani if you need anything."
And he followed his lover, leaving Irulan there. She couldn't help but think what a perfect summarise of their relationship this scene was. She decided not to waste much time on it and to head to that cabin and not appear until that miserable week-end was over.
She had better be quick because the crowd was starting to come over, cheering Paul and Chani as they met them. They were all in Stilgar's image : big muscles, torn jeans, leather jackets, sunglasses… Some of them were probably two meters high…
"Hey, Stil' !" they called him "We thought you'd never show up !"
"Sorry guys, I had to pick everyone up. You're early."
"Had to. There's those guys they wanted to start the party this morning. We were waiting for you."
"Ok, we'll make a tour to check if everyone's clean. There's spice and some snacks in the car, store them up, will you ?"
"Where are you going ?"
"Just showing the princess her castle."
Irulan rolled her eyes at that comment. She really didn't need Stilgar's contempt right now.
"Yeah, who's that blonde chick by the way ?" asked a girl with a cigarette and a strong accent.
"She's a friend of mine and of Paul. Ok, everyone, you all got work to do." Stilgar dismissed them and walked to Irulan.
They silently walked to the 46 cabin. There was no key and the door was broken but there was two single beds inside and another door that led to the toilets and the shower that will perhaps work.
"I would ask you to come for a ride but I don't know what kind of people I'll meet so… I'll see you when I get back."
"Is that because I'm a "princess" ?" she said with a bitter tone.
"No, it's just that I don't want to put you in danger. I've told you, you were safe with me, so I want you to be safe."
There was a small silence between the two and Stilgar suddenly passed a hand in his messy hair :
"If you want something to eat, there is some in the cabin number 1. I'll look for you when I come back. "
This time, Irulan managed to produce a smile and let him go.
She went back in the cabin and put her bag under the bed the furthest from the door. Of course she wouldn't eat the snacks in the cabin number one. She opened her bag and took the diet salad she made for herself this morning.
Stilgar removed his helmet and sighed. Organisation was rather tiring : he had to take two of his friends to forcefully remove spice junkies that were not invited to the camping. This was for his group of friends only and he had no time for strangers that could possibly do stupid things. His friends were doing that good enough on their own…
He would have given nearly anything to cuddle with his girlfriend in a bed right now. He had given up on Harah pretty easily, given that they were together for a year now. Things could not always be perfect. But he dearly missed those mornings when he could just stay in bed with her and watch all her perfect curves. He had seen her earlier : she was starting the party early with some bottles of beer and some pizza. Well, at least, she got what she wanted.
Perhaps it was Irulan. Stilgar never really expected to meet her or have a conversation with her. Paul never talked badly of her, Hell, sometimes you could feel some emotion about her in his voice. Not in a romantic way, of course, but Stilgar knew Paul felt something for Irulan. More like pity or something like that. In Stilgar's mind, she had always been a bitch, a haughty princess, probably not as beautiful as everyone said. She was like someone from another world he didn't wanted anything to do with.
Well, she was a haughty princess but she was every bit as beautiful as others told him. Even more ! She was so delicate and yet very strong. He couldn't even begin to summarise what he thought of her. She was quite nice when she wanted to, which was nearly never. The thing was that, just like they did for him, everybody wanted to placate a mask on her that would be easier for them to understand. They wanted to see a beautiful princess whose father gave her everything she wanted, whose mother was beautiful and whose boyfriend was perfect and went along beating people for her. He knew the feeling.
Stilgar got off of his bike and walked in the camping, greeting people he knew and accepting some boyfriends or girlfriends to stay. The afternoon was slowly darkening and people where already starting to drag the ice boxes out from the first cabin. He had sent two cars go for pizzas and burgers earlier and they would not be long now. Everything seemed to be okay for the moment and Stilgar allowed himself to relax a little.
He saw Paul on the doorway of his cabin, apparently talking to Chani who was still inside :
"Come on, I promise, it will be a short walk, we'll be here for the party… Don't you want to see the setting sun and the last green light ? The dunes are perfect for that !"
"Only if we bring something to drink this time !" Chani replied.
Stilgar walked to Paul :
"Hey, you're going for a walk ?"
"Yeah, some alone time with Chani will be quite welcome…"
"She's still mad because of Irulan ?"
"She won't say so but I know she is… She said : "I didn't expect her to look like such a bitch and I had some apocalyptic visions in my head" " Paul reported.
" So she's jealous because she's more beautiful than what she expected ?"
"I think so, even if the whole thing is rather confusing. I love Chani, what does Irulan being somewhat beautiful has anything to do with that ?"
"Irulan is more than somewhat beautiful, Paul" Stilgar laughed.
"Is she, now ?" Paul replied with a smirk.
Dammit, he got him. Again.
Being friends with Paul had been rather difficult those last days : after being dumped by Harah and found with Irulan, Paul had always teased him. It was only slight remarks from time to time : "Yeah, Lauren Bacall was stunning in that movie, but well, no match for other femmes fatales…" and so on and so on…
"Speaking of the devil, have you seen her ?"
"No, not really. You know, I only invited her to keep the appearances up. She just needs a place to stay… I don't think she's going to want to go party with the likes of us. "replied Paul.
Chani finally appeared. She smiled at Stilgar and the pair went for their romantic walk in the dunes. Stilgar barely had time to kiss her on the cheek and tell her she was beautiful. It was true, Chani was beautiful in her own way : fierce, wild. She was simply beautiful with her short messy hair and her old jeans. That's the way she was. The fact that he found Chani beautiful didn't prevent Stilgar from thinking that Irulan was too…
Stilgar shook his head and started to walk toward cabin number 46. He could at least check on her, make sure everything was alright…
When he arrived, the door was closed. Good thing the lock was broken or it would probably be as closed as a safe. He knocked on the door and waited for her annoyed answer :
"You probably got the wrong cabin !" she shouted from the other side.
"I don't think so." He answered before entering the room.
Irulan was sitting on one of the beds, reading a book, a black pen playing between her fingers. She lifted her head and, for a second, Stilgar thought she looked happy of seeing him. Only an illusion, for sure :
"The party is slowly starting. Do you want to go on a tour ?"
Irulan paused a moment as if she was really considering his offer. Unexpectedly, she closed her book, her pen as a bookmark :
"Only if you don't plan on leaving me as soon as you've found something more interesting to do."
Her fear seemed genuine. Stilgar couldn't help but smile and nodded :
"I won't."
Irulan swept her hair out from behind her ears and stole a glance in the window before standing up and smoothing her dress down her knees again. Stilgar was surprised about how fascinating a woman who didn't just walk out the door could be. Chani and Harah never really cared about how they looked. Irulan seemed obsessed by it. She took a white scarf from her bag and put it on, re-arranging her hair around it. When she was finally happy with it, she walked to Stilgar' side.
The air was starting to cool down and the sun was redder. It would be evening soon. Stilgar started by the outer cabins. Sometimes, he told her some stories about the places they saw or the people they met. She never really laughed like Harah could laugh but she scoffed, which was close enough. When he had no more interesting stories to tell, he only hummed a song that was stuck in his head for the moment and he caught Irulan beating the cadence with her fingers. That made him unreasonably happy.
Then a man came, Farok, with a helmet under his arm and an excited look on his face :
"Stil, Stil, there's the race ! It'll start soon ! Are you ready for it ?"
Irulan looked at Farok as if he had just said the most stupid thing in the world. The young man had to lower his eyes when he met Irulan's gaze.
"I'm ready. Let me get my bike and I'll be there." Stilgar answered kindly.
Farok would have stayed with Stilgar but he had his own bike to take care of and he didn't really wanted to meet Irulan's gaze again. He ran off and Irulan shot an accusating glance to Stilgar :
"I thought you said you wouldn't let me down."
"Come on," said Stilgar "It will be fun. You can hang out with Harah at the arrival line. It won't be long." He promised.
Irulan shrugged but followed him to where he parked his bike. She noticed the sand storms drawn on it and an inscription. She bent her head on her shoulder to read it :
"To understand consequences" She read aloud.
"Words from a wise man" Stilgar replied very seriously.
"Why is it on your bike ?" She asked.
"Seemed like words to live by."
Irulan had the ghost of a smile on her lips and watched Stilgar set himself on his bike, putting his helmet on :
"You can sit on the back, I'll bring you."
"I don't have a helmet."
"I'll drive slowly : there will be a lot of people."
Irulan was in a dress and she had never rode a bike before but she still sat behind him. She didn't really know why. He brought up her bad side, the side of her that wanted to defy the rules others set up for her. The side of her that was fierce, took drugs and rode bikes. But that wasn't all… She trusted him, strangely enough. He said she was safe with him and she trusted him…
As they slowly rode to the dusty old highway where the race was to take place, her hair flew in every direction and she held to Stilgar. He smelled like sand, wind, sun and Dr. Pepper. It was quite nice. His hand on her bare knee as he stopped the bike was rather nice too. He had rough hands on her smooth skin.
"Sorry, bad habit" Stilgar only said. "We're here."
"Okay, thanks for the ride…"
"No worries."
Irulan tried to be as graceful as she could in a dress when she dismounted his bike. A small crowd was already beginning to form itself while the bikers lined up and a man with black flags was drawing the starting line.
Stilgar located Harah and called for her. She came, wearing shorts and a tight t-shirt, her long hair dyed red. This colour was new. Stilgar had liked her brunette mane but he never truly had a say with Harah. She was a Fremen : she was wild.
"This is Irulan. It's a friend. Could you stay with her ?"
"Okay, no probs… You found a lady yet ?" Harah replied, only casting a quick glance to Irulan.
"No, I forgot that… You found your champion ?"
"Yeah, I'm with Jamis now."
"'Kay… I'll see with Lichna then…"
"What about your friend ?" Harah asked.
Stilgar turned to follow Harah gaze and saw Irulan. He laughed.
"I don't think Irulan will ever agree…"
"Agree to what ?" Irulan asked, annoyed of understanding nothing to the exchange.
"Well… It's kind of ridiculous but each participant has to have a lady's favour… The winner's lady is kind of crowned the queen of the evening… It's just a honorific title… " Stilgar explained.
"I'm quite the expert about honorific titles, thank you very much…" Irulan replied stiffly.
She took her scarf off, swishing her hair off of the way and said in a very stern tone :
"Now give me your arm"
Did Stilgar had a choice anyway ? He gave his arm and she circled his arm three times to secure the scarf around it. Then she looked at her work with a small smile and said :
"Now this scarf is the only thing I have against the cold so don't you dare dirty it."
"I won't" He promised and let her be taken away by Harah.
He was sure it cost more than everything he was wearing. He starched the back of his neck, cracked his knuckles and got ready for the race.
Harah guided Irulan to the other end of the road, producing a cigarette pack from one of her destroyed pockets and proposed one to Irulan who declined politely.
"So, you're Stilgar's new girl ?"
"Actually, I'm Paul's girlfriend…" Irulan lied by instinct.
"Come on, you're not fooling anyone… Everyone knows Paul's with Chani and only with Chani."
"Well… I'm his false girlfriend actually… Out there everybody thinks I'm with him…"
"So, in truth, you're Stil's girl or what ?"
"I'm not his girl… I've only met him once before going on that camping trip…"
"But you fancy him ?"
"Aren't you supposed to be jealous or something ?"
"Why ? We're not together anymore. I'm with someone else…"
Irulan found nothing else to say and walked silently to the other side, watching Harah talking with other people without introducing her. She didn't mind : they all had dirty looks and smelled of beer or of cigarettes. She tried to locate Paul or even Chani but didn't see them. They were probably having fun on their own, Irulan thought bitterly. She still felt Stilgar's hand on her knee and it awakened the strange sensations again. She tried to shake them off and looked at the main attraction.
The man was waving his flag high in the sky as the bikers were making their engines roar. The flag was lowered and the bikes were unleashed. Someone put 'Highway to Hell', making Irulan roll her eyes.
She concentrated on Stilgar. He was not easy to miss : her scarf was probably the only white thing in the race. She couldn't see his face with the helmet but she saw how his muscles were tense under his jacket. He rode his bike as she rode her horse at her summer house : he always moved his legs in the direction he wanted to take. He was not so bad : he kept his place in the five first riders.
Then, the third one tried to overtake the second one by taking a short cut out of the road and ended up on the sand and the rocks. At his speed, he only lost control of his bike as the wheel met the different surface and he turned over, flying away from his bike. Irulan gasped at the sight : that man wasn't wearing any protection beside a leather jacket and boots. He was probably badly hurt ! She looked all around her but only saw the crowd cheer at the accident and booing the reckless man. When she turned back to the man, two tall men were helping him up. He was bleeding but could still stand and was swearing like a sailor about his lost race. Irulan could never understand these people… Or could she ? She saw polo competitions end with someone taking a mallet in his face…
When she looked to the race again, Stilgar was in second position. Beside her, Harah was yelling "Jamis ! Jamis !" so she guessed to first was her boyfriend. She felt adrenaline gather up in her head and in her heart. She wanted to yell for Stilgar as he slowly took more and more speed but she didn't let herself go that low. She felt her nails bury themselves in her palms as she watched Stilgar intensely. The song was still blaring and, with the screams of the crowd and the noise of the engines, she felt like she was deaf from all that noise…
Stilgar was now lined with Jamis. He was slowly forcing him to go to the side of the road where he was dangerously close from the edge. Jamis only thought of speed and was letting himself be cornered. Stilgar as about to win.
Suddenly, as Jamis front wheel met the sand, the young man turned brutally to the road. He would have hit Stilgar, had the latter not slowed down. Jamis re-established his balance quite quickly and arrived first under the cheers of the crowd that was shouting his name like Romans in the Coliseum. Harah even took Irulan's hands, jumping up and down :
"Oh my God, it's my baby ! My babe has won !"
Irulan tried to smile when her hands were crushed in Harah's.
The young woman even took her to the arrival line where the other bikers where finishing the race. Jamis dismounted his bike and was shouting like a gorilla to express his joy of wining. Harah jumped in his arms and kissed him. Spectators were patting his back and a man even emptied a bottle of beer on his head.
Irulan quietly walked up to Stilgar who was silently removing his helmet, accepting handshakes and some congratulations.
"He would have gone off the road had you not slowed down. You would have won." She simply stated. She knew he knew.
Stilgar jumped a little and turned his head to her. He had an apologetic smile and patted his bike :
"At this speed he would have hurt himself very badly… To understand the consequences."
Irulan's smile was genuine this time. He surprised her. Besides Paul no one surprised her these days. Stilgar was really quit a mystery. At first, she thought that she was drawn by him because he was a bad boy, with his bike, his drugs and his leather jacket but she was realizing more and more how a responsible mature man he was… She had misjudged him greatly.
Stilgar didn't know why she smiled but smiled back anyway :
"Oh, and I'm sorry you couldn't be queen of the evening… I appear to have failed my lady…"
"I don't think so… You served her greatly… What are you doing ? You can keep the scarf…"
"Yeah, the scarf maybe but I'm not letting my lady catch a cold… "
He took his jacket off and put it on Irulan' shoulders. She put it on and helped Stilgar put her scarf on his naked arm. It was her turn to touch his skin this time. It was warm, like the first time she touched it and she felt scar tissue under her delicate fingers. She half-expected to feel his tattoos too…
As the crowd cheered around them, they looked at each other and smiled…
"Now to the party everyone !" Jamis shouted and everyone cheered him.
"So, if you'll excuse me, I'll try to make sure this party doesn't become utter chaos… "
"You keep breaking your promise" Irulan reproached.
"Don't worry, I'll find you…"
He hopped on his bike and off he went.
Alone and a little lonely, Irulan followed the crowd under the bridge. There, a DJ was already warming up the atmosphere and beers were opened. The sun was now painting the sky red, orange and pink. The air was cooler and Irulan was glad she had Stilgar's jacket. It smelled a bit of perspiration but also carried his masculine signature smell…
"Irulan !" She heard someone calling her.
She turned to find Paul, walking hand in hand with Chani. This time, the young woman smiled to her. They must have had a discussion about how Paul didn't like her and only loved Chani, Irulan thought bitterly.
"We missed the race. You were there ?" Paul asked.
"I was. Jamis won. Stilgar was second. I can't remember the others."
"Who was Jamis' lady ?" Chani asked, addressing Irulan for the first time.
"Harah" Irulan replied, hating to have to gossip.
"Oh, that's true… She broke with Stilgar. Still have to process that. They have been together for a year…"
Irulan sensed that Chani was trying to convey a message but she ignored it. She turned to Paul but he was smirking at her. She sighed and started walking to the party, leaving those lovebirds behind her.
The very fact that Paul was happy and not in love with her was getting on her nerves. She always told herself she had to break up with him and never did. She admired Paul : he was clever, thoughtful and never let anything drag him down. He created something for himself, away from his family while being still attached to it. He did what she couldn't. And she wasn't even talking about the fact that the two only subjects she had better grades at were history and literature. They had that sort of game where they regurgitated exactly what the teacher said with as much details as they could and then anonymously send them photocopies of books proving some of their mistakes. It was the only laugh they ever had together : when they sent a poor student put a book about Anne Boleyn in their anti-Boleyn history teacher.
Irulan wandered in the outskirts of the party. She watched the first dancers move in rhythm with the music. She watched the DJ changing his CDs with extraordinary speed while pushing off people who wanted this and that. The "bartender" was equally busy delivering the first cocktails. She noticed a group of people sniffing some spice before throwing themselves on the "dance floor". It looked like Hugo's "cours des miracles".
"Fancy a drink ?"
Irulan jumped a little when she heard Paul at her left. He had two beers in his hands. She had a little grimace : he knew she liked cocktails better. Martinis were her favourite. In this god forsaken party, she would also have accepted anything with vodka.
"I know it's not what you usually drink but when it comes in bottles, you're nobody put anything else than alcohol in it." He replied without Irulan having to say anything.
He opened the two bottles and handed her one. She took it and tasted it. It had a bitter after taste that beer always had but it was cool against her fingers. They stayed in silence for a minute or two before Irulan couldn't stand it anymore :
"Where's Chani ? Aren't you supposed to be with her ?"
"She's talking to some friends. We spent some time together, we also must spend time apart…"
"So you're alone and bored and you talk to me…"
"Don't be so bitter. Plus, I have to talk to you about something."
"What's that ?"
"Is that Stilgar's jacket you're wearing ?" Paul said with a smirk.
"Yes it is… It was cold and I gave him my scarf, so…"
"You were his lady then…"
"Yes, yes I was, could you get to the point ?"
Paul lowered his eyes and bit his lips. He did it every time he found something funny.
"No, I'm just saying that you two got along pretty well…"
"Thanks to who ?" Irulan accused.
"It could have gone bad…"
"You knew it wouldn't. Or you wouldn't have schemed our meeting."
"The problem with you, Irulan, is that you're refusing happiness when it doesn't come in your idea of happiness." Paul said calmly.
Irulan only sipped her beer at that. She knew it was true. Paul just looked right through her and dug out things she never confessed about herself.
"The thing is, Irulan, I don't want to be mean with you. I don't love you but, in a way, I care about you. And I care about Stilgar. I think you'd be great together."
"Well, look at that" Irulan mocked. "Paul Atreides the matchmaker ! Have you got nothing else to do with your time ? Do you think that, because you told me so, I'm going to throw myself at someone ? Well, news flash, Paul, I'm not !"
Irulan walked away without sparing Paul another glance. She walked around again, aimlessly. She looked around to find Stilgar and didn't see him. She drank her beer and felt cold. She should go back to her cabin and sleep. A long dreamless sleep. Tomorrow, she could always make Stilgar bring her back or ask anybody. Hell, she'll even walk if she had too !
Inside her, there was a whirlwind of emotions she didn't even tried to understand before repressing them. She didn't need that kind of emotions ! What would Mohiam say ?
She found her way to the "bar" and asked for "anything with vodka". While she was waiting for the "bartender" to fix her drink, she sensed someone looking at her. She looked right back and found a young man with his arms covered in tattoo and messy hair. He wore a white shirt and looked like a wandering tormented poet. He smiled at her :
"The vodka is pretty terrible here." He commented.
"I don't really care" Irulan replied curtly.
"So, just the strongest stuff to get roaring drunk…Would you mind hitting the dance floor with me after that drink ?"
"Yes, I would mind very much… I'm heading right to bed after that drink."
"Oh, that's sad. You're the prettiest girl I've seen around in a while…You got someone in that bed ?"
Oh great, people who were fliriting with her. Of course she needed that. She took another good look at him. He tought she was pretty. Or fuckable. Did he really know the difference ? She put on her haughty mask and replied :
"It's not really your business."
She saw him make a sign to the "bartender". Irulan did not care. All she needed was vodka and sleep. She'll regret all of this tomorrow.
Her drink was pushed in front of her and she said 'Thanks' by pure instinct. The bartender smiled and replied 'No probs, miss' with a smile that would have worried her, had she looked at him at the moment.
The vodka wasn't so cold anymore but the chill of the night did the trick for her. She finished it in three mouthfuls and slammed the glass on one of the tables around her. She didn't remember. Okay, she thought, time for bed.
When she walked away, she realized she should have been more careful with that drink : she only ate a salad for lunch and already had a beer. Plus, she was really tired. She didn't feel so sure about her balance anymore. As she walked and walked, she wasn't really sure where she was going. It was the contrary of the spice : she felt slower and slower. Sand were getting in her sandals and her knees wouldn't lift up enough for her to take dignified steps to her cabin. Where was it, anyway ? This thing was such a labyrinth…
She tripped over some sand and felt arms catch her before she could fall. She clung to something that seemed like a shirt and a masculine torso.
"Oh, careful there, pretty girl… Wouldn't want to fall out there all alone…"
It was the annoying voice of that man out there… A vodka never affected her this way…
Wait a minute…
What was in her drink ?
Stilgar was lifting a huge ice box from the back of a trunk when Harah came to him. He put the ice box in someone else's arms and looked at her :
"Yeah, what can I do for you ?"
"You know where Irulan is ? I wanted to drag her on the dance floor but I don't know where she is…"
"Have you asked Paul ?"
"Yeah, he only saw her at the bar but she isn't there."
"Well, it's early but maybe she's in her cabin."
"Which cabin is that ?"
"46. I'll go check it out with you."
He turned to see if everything was in order and when he was satisfied, he followed Harah. He was starting to grow anxious. At first, he only thought Irulan went alone somewhere and it was no big deal, but as he walked, anxiety started to grow on him. He shouldn't have left her alone… She was not exactly the type to fit in…
They went to her cabin but it was empty, save for her bag. No Stilgar was starting to freak out. He tried not to show it but his brow was frown and his eyes couldn't stop at one point in the crowd unless it was blonde hair. Harah lead him to the bar and all of his fears were confirmed :
"Yeah, I think she went with Korba" The bartender said.
"What do you mean : "she went with Korba" ?" Harah asked. "Like she followed him somewhere ?"
"Why is that motherfucker even there ?!" Stilgar asked. "I thought I told him to stay away !"
"Calm down Stilgar, now we really have to find out where she is." Harah replied. She turned to the bartender "Where did they go ?"
"She went over there and he followed her." He replied.
Fuck, thought Stilgar. Of course it had to happen…
Harah had to struggle to keep Stilgar's pace. They walked between the cabins, opening each one of them, no matter who was in. Finally, they heard something :
"It's okay, I can totally walk. I just need to go find my cabin. I'm sure it's not far…"
Irulan's voice.
"No you can't walk, pretty girl. Let me help you. Where's your cabin ?"
"Can you just… get Stilgar ? He knows."
Stilgar and Harah finally saw Irulan, trying to walk straight and having to lean against every surface she found to put a foot before the other. Korba was trying to help her but she only pushed him away as she could without falling.
"Stil'… You know you could get into prison if you kill him" Harah reminded him.
"Not for defending Irulan. But I'm not going to kill him. Just take her to her cabin and stay with her. It's the 46 cabin."
Then, he walked to Korba who immediately stopped touching Irulan as he saw the young man.
"I thought I told you to stay away from here." Stilgar said sternly.
"Come on, man. I'm just trying to have some fun… it's nothing…"
He couldn't finish as Stilgar only punched him in the face. Korba fell on his knees, holding his injured cheek.
"If you talk again in my presence, I'll end you."
Stilgar looked at Harah as she hurried to help Irulan out of there, whispering words of comfort in her ear. Stilgar smiled : even if he stopped loving Harah, he will never stop liking her. She was a Fremen, a true one : they shared the same way of seeing the world…
Then, he took Korba by his shirt and lifted him in the air before making him stand on his feet :
"Now listen carefully : if you want to come back here, you better behave. We are not savages. We respect each other. Damn, we even respect people that are not us. Respect, you got that in your little head ? Great, because let me tell you what will happen if you don't. First, I'll rip your balls off and I'll gather all the ladies there to finish the job. And if I ever see you lay your eyes on that girl again, I'll tell Paul. You heard about Feyd ? Yeah, nod your head, Feyd-Rautha. That's her ex-boyfriend. When she was done with him because he was a little shit, Paul beat the shit out of him. I won't tell him this time but you won't get so lucky next time. Understood ?"
Korba nodded, drooling blood all over Stilgar's hands.
"Fine. No you can get back to the party and tell everyone what you did to deserve my fist in your face."
Stilgar watched Korba run off with his tail between his legs. He probably wouldn't appear at the party or anywhere for a good week. Stilgar wiped the blood and the drool on his jeans and went to check on Irulan. Leaning on the door of her cabin, Harah was waiting for him.
"Thanks for everything. I got this." Stilgar thanked her.
"No worries. Don't hesitate on calling me. See you later."
And she walked away back to the party, letting Stilgar alone in the night. He wondered if he should check on Irulan or only leave her alone. He shrugged, put his hands in his pockets and walked in. The room was dark, lit up only by the white moon through the windows.
Irulan was tucked in the white paper-thin sheets, her shoes carefully put at the foot of the bed. She was in a tight ball, her arms wrapped around her and her perfect eyebrows were frowned. Her perfect blonde hair was mussed all around her on the pillow. Stilgar knelt in front of her and, as gently as he could, pushed some wild strands of hair out of her face. She had tucked her hair behind her ears when she fell asleep on his shoulder last time.
But that strand refused to leave her face. It was the third time he tried to put it with the others but it only kept falling back. It was really annoying… Stilgar sighed deeply and went to try for the fourth time when he succeeded to wake her. She opened her eyes slowly and stared at him :
"What are you trying to do ? Braid my hair ?" She asked, her voice still heavy with sleep.
She closed her eyes again and such a proof of trust made Stilgar's heart do weird things in his chest.
"You've got a strand of hair that just won't get behind your ear." Stilgar explained.
She scoffed again and put the strand behind her ear again. Stilgar stood up.
"Where are you going ?" Irulan asked, sitting up in her bed.
"You have to sleep it off."
"You're not tired ? There's another bed over there…"
The worry in Irulan's eyes made Stilgar smile. He would never have thought she wanted to repeat the whole sleeping thing. Not after having a conversation with Paul, surely.
But he didn't say anything. She wanted him to sleep on the other bed ? He will sleep on the other bed. He took his shoes off and opened the sheets. She looked at him with a small smile when he slid in the bed with all his clothes on. He turned so he could face her across the small space between the beds. She was looking at him.
"Thanks" He heard her whisper in the night. "I know I'm safe when I'm with you."
Then she closed her eyes and she fell asleep in a matter of minutes. Stilgar had trouble sleeping at all.