A big thank you to everybody who reviewed the last chapter, I have gone over it and done some editing, and made a few changes here and there too so it might be worth a re-read. The support has been completely overwhelming though so again thanks everyone. Chap 2 is here, so please enjoy. Huge thank you for Nenalata for the constructive criticism, it's made me really think before I type.

Enjoy and R&R xxxx

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He led me inside and I looked around his house with interest. It was quaint, but it was nice. I sat down on the sofa while Ryan unpacked the groceries in the kitchen. It didn't take him long and he sat down next to me, handing me a tall glass of water which I took eagerly.

"Thank you." The water was refreshing as it hit the back of my throat, buying me at least a few more seconds to prepare for the uncomfortable small talk I knew would be coming.

"So how have you been?"

I smiled as he tried to fill the silence.

"I've been doing ok. I keep thinking that Aiden will come back, but he hasn't. He's gone to the other side."

"How does that make you feel?" Ryan's tone wasn't judgmental, curious more than anything.

"I miss him. It turns out that he wasn't just some random entity . . . he was my twin brother. He died at birth, strangled on the umbilical cord."

Ryan looked shocked.

"Jodie I'm sorry. That's awful."

"I think that's why he always tried to scare away any guys that showed an interest in me. He wasn't trying to be possessive. He was just being my brother." I smiled fondly at the thought.

"It certainly explains a lot." Ryan reached over and took one of my hands in his. "I want to say something."

"Ok . . . " I was always slightly concerned when he would start the 'deep and meaningfuls'.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've acted like an absolute idiot. The first time that I told you that I loved you we were freezing to death in the snow."

"Not you're most romantic moment."

"But I made you feel obligated to say it back, we were dying. I would have let you off the hook."

I shook my head but he persisted.

"And then I pressured you into a relationship when you clearly weren't ready. I was only thinking about myself."

"I've never felt obligated to do something before in my life. Have you ever known me not to speak my mind?"

"You're pretty pigheaded sometimes." Ryan grinned at me.

"Only sometimes?" I was teasing him now and he leaned in for a kiss. I halted him with my fingers on his lips, needing to say something first. "I want to sleep on the sofa tonight. If I sleep in your bed . . . things will move too fast."

"You weren't complaining the last time." He was kidding around with me. His hand brushed lightly across the curve of my jeans so I hit him back playfully. His touch brought back the memories of our first date and the way he made love to me sent the colour back into my cheeks.

"Ok . . . I'll set up the bed in the guest room."

"I'm going to go take a shower while we wait for the food to get here." I stood up and stretched.

"Sure. The bathroom is just down the hall, make yourself at home." He answered me.

I got up and took my bag down to the bathroom. I travelled light. It was something I learnt from constantly skipping from place to place. I found a fresh towel in the cupboard stripped off my clothes and turned the water on. It felt amazing on my tired muscles. Once I was refreshed, I stepped out of the steam and dried off with the towel. I pulled on some underwear and a T-shirt before looking at my face in the bathroom mirror. I looked like a wreck. I didn't think I had been this tired in a long time. I could hear Ryan messing about in the kitchen so I took the opportunity to take a look around his house.

His bedroom was next door to the bathroom, he had a king-sized bed and a walk in closet, but it was only lightly furnished, like most of the house. I suppose he didn't need much living on his own. I wandered around his room, ignoring the feeling that I was being intrusive. I picked up a photo he had in a frame sitting on his dresser. It was from years ago, when I had first joined the CIA. It was our team, the four of us. I had just passed my final training assessment and we had all been celebrating. I put the photo down and went back into the kitchen.

I watched him put the Chinese food onto the counter so I pulled out a stool and sat down.

"So . . . what have you been doing with yourself? Have you gone back to work?" I shoveled a spoonful of rice into my mouth. I was starving.

Ryan seemed to hesitate before he answered me. I would have thought he had learnt not to lie to me by now. "The CIA is trying very hard to get me back. With McGrath gone there's been a change in the hierarchy. Every time they approach me they've sweetened the deal just a bit more. Currently I'm on an indefinite leave of absence."

I tried to keep my voice level and not show that I was angry. "But you're considering their offer?"

For a fleeting moment I felt as though I had made a huge mistake.

"Jodie I had to be realistic here. There was every chance that you weren't coming back. I have to pay the bills somehow. I know they're still researching the other side, and I think about what they did to you . . . I don't want any part of that. The only angle I can see where it would be beneficial for us is that I would know what they're planning. I could make sure they would never touch you again."

"You can't guarantee that, nobody can." I snapped. What made it worse is that I didn't have Aiden to protect me now. It was up to me. I took a breath before continuing. "What if I told you that money didn't have to factor into your decision?"

"What do you mean?" He asked after a fork full of noodles.

I didn't want to reveal the extent of my new found wealth, not just yet anyway. I had to be sure I could trust him.

"Just run with me for a second. If you didn't have to worry about the big-paying job, what would you do instead?"

Ryan looked puzzled but answered me anyway. "I've got some friends down at the cop shop; the Precinct can always use well-trained officers. It's in my line of work and I would still be helping people." He cleared up the take-away containers and we moved to the sofa.

"There's no point in putting all of my training to waste."

His answer surprised me; it wasn't something I had been expecting.

"A man in uniform? I think I like the sound of that."

Ryan grinned and I couldn't help but close the distance. The kiss was soft and sweet and it felt just like the first time. He deepened the kiss and I didn't argue. I pushed him down into the cushions and his hands began to slip under my T-shirt, roaming over my back. I lifted my head, reluctantly pulling my lips off of his.

A small moan escaped him. "Are you sure you want to sleep in the guest room?"

A part of me wanted to follow him to his room while another part of me wasn't quite ready to open myself up this much again. "Give me some time ok?" I was close, but not quite ready.

Ryan kissed me again and pulled me gently by the hand. He walked me to the door of my room.

"We've got all the time in the world baby."

"I'll see you in the morning." I kissed him goodnight.

That night I fell asleep almost immediately. It was nice to feel like I was somewhere I could call home. Exhaustion washed over me and it didn't take long before the dreams began. I was back at the CIA, strapped vertically to the medical bed. McGrath was standing over me, taunting me. I couldn't move; I couldn't do anything. Some men brought Ryan into the room and forced him to his knees. He was bruised and bleeding and had clearly put up a fight. I tried to struggle free and help him but I couldn't. McGrath told me that I had betrayed them and now Ryan would have to pay the price. They restrained him by strapping him to a second bed and began to cut into his flesh with a butcher's knife, his blood running everywhere. I cried out for them to stop. McGrath told me the only way to make it stop was to call forth my entity and make him stop it. I told them again and again that Aiden was gone but they didn't believe me. They cut into his arms. They cut into his chest. His screams hit me at my very core. When the interrogator moved the knife up to his face, I begged them to stop. Ryan screamed again, this time it was a deep guttural scream and when the man with the knife stepped aside he revealed Ryan with only a bleeding socket where his left eye used to be.

I shot up in the bed; sweat pouring off me. I was crying too. I told myself to pull it together, that it was only a dream. The CIA would continue to haunt me; we would never be safe again. I crept straight down the hallway to Ryan's room and in the darkness, found his bed. I slipped into the covers and wound my arms around his middle. He was warm and it made me realise how bitterly cold my skin was against his.

"Jodie?" I had woken him up.

"Go back to sleep." I murmured into his back. I couldn't keep my voice from shaking.

I felt his weight shift as he reached over to turn on his lamp.

"What's wrong?"

"It was just a bad dream. I'll be fine . . . but do you think you could hold me?"

With a defeated shrug of his shoulders he switched off his light and moved back to lie down next to me. He tucked in behind me so that we were spooning and when his arms snaked around me I placed my hands over top of his. I felt safe for the first time since I could remember. He kissed my shoulder, my neck, anywhere he could reach without breaking our hold. He didn't ask me to tell him about it, for which I was grateful; I would tell him in the morning. Maybe.

The nightmare recurred the next night and the night after that. I had moved into Ryan's room almost immediately with the naive assumption that if he was spooning me it might keep the dreams away.

I wasn't sure what was worse; the night terror's I experienced from the monsters as a child or watching as my boyfriend has his eye removed every night. My screams would wake Ryan and he would hold me again and whisper in my ear that everything would be ok while I cried myself back to sleep. After three nights Ryan told me to stop being so stubborn and tell him what had me so scared of going to sleep.

"They wanted Aiden and they'd stop at nothing to get him. The more they research into the Other Side . . . I just know they'll come after me."

"It was only a dream. McGrath is dead." Ryan told me after I recalled the nightmare. "But if you're that anxious about it we'll move. We'll pack up and go, I have no ties here; my family is in Oregon. I'll sell the house and the CIA won't find us."

"Skipping town isn't going to solve this." I shook my head. "You and I both know there's no hiding from the CIA. They could find anybody in the world." I bowed my head and sighed. "There's something I need to tell you. The last decent thing Nathan did to me was give me a fighting chance." I pulled the envelope from my bag and put it on the counter. "A new passport and five-hundred-thousand."

"Dollars?"

"No, Rupees."

He scoffed playfully at my sarcasm and then reached for my passport, opening it curiously. "Elizabeth North. Your field alias."

"Look I know this is crazy and I wouldn't blame you if you wanted out." I began pacing the floor nervously. "I've been on my own for such a long time, and I can go it alone. I just don't want to anymore. I spent some of the money but most of its still there. Come with me?"

"Where?"

"Wherever we want to. They can look for Jodie Holmes all they want but they have no interest in Elizabeth North."

"Jodie, Nathan betrayed you. There's every chance that he put a trace on this passport to notify the agency as soon as you use it."

"How can I find out?" Ryan had brought up something that I hadn't even thought of.

"You can't, but I can." Panic set in as I realised he was planning on going back into the CIA alone.