Chapter 9:- Death Is Only the Beginning
A.N: - Thanks for the reviews, I'm glad I'm keeping you guessing and you will have your questions answered, just not yet! Just thought I'd mention theres a fair bit of swearing in this chapter not loads but i thought i'd warn you. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter and please keep reviewing. Thanks.
Jesse awoke suddenly, bolting straight upright, this dramatic movement caused Lexa to lurch dangerously towards the floor. Jesse caught her up into his arms with lightning quick reflexes. Jesse's eyes flicked rapidly to the monitors and his senses suddenly seemed to notice the long drone of the heart monitor and he took in the single green flat line that filled the screen. His heart broke into a million pieces as his breath caught in his throat.
Jesse began to sob uncontrollably into his hands; he slid from under Lexa to kneel beside the bed. His hand shakily moved up to trace her face and to tuck an errant strand of hair behind her left ear as silent tears slid down his face. She looked so peaceful, like she was merely asleep; he could almost imagine he saw her chest rise and fall.
Abruptly Jesse's expression changed, a very different emotion flew to the surface, Anger. He slammed his massed fist into the floor, yelling "twenty lousy percent! It's not fair!" He spun away from Lexa's prone form towards the work bench. He put his head in his hands as he leant against the bench; sobs wracked his body as the tears poured from his bloodshot eyes. Anger overwhelmed him again and he lashed out, sweeping his right hand across the cluttered desk, sending all the vials and test tubes to crash to floor, sending shards of glass everywhere.
"Is that really necessary? I'm getting a major migraine here" said a rasping voice from behind him.
Jesse stood stock still, afraid his ears were deceiving him, afraid he'd imagined it, afraid of what he would see when he turned. He summoned up all his courage and turned the 180 degrees almost as if her were stuck in slow motion. He faced Lexa's body but saw no movement. He began to turn away the pain too great when he saw her eyes flutter. He ran to her side looking down at her with wide eyes as she fully opened her eyes and starred up at him.
"You're dead" he announced in complete certainty looking at the heart monitor still depicting the flat green line.
"I hate to disagree but umm I'm feeling pretty lively for a dead person" Lexa replied.
Jesse dried his tear stained face on his sleeve "but the monitor?" he whispered.
She looked over at the monitor "Are you going to trust a machine or the walking, well I could" she said noting his confusion "talking, breathing human being front of you? I'm alive Jess. I'm really alive." She said in a stunned voice, clearly surprised herself. "You did it Jesse, you saved me!" she pulled him to her, holding him in a tight embrace. They both looked into each others tear filled eyes and their lips meet in an explosion of all the pent up emotion they contained. For long minutes they remained locked in the embrace saying in actions what they couldn't in words.
Outside the lab Shalimar, Brennan and Jamie were just about to enter when Shalimar put up her hand to stop them. "Wait!"
"What? why?" Brennan asked whilst Jamie's face showed he shared Brennan's confusion.
"Look" Shalimar said simply and pointed through the large frosted window. They all peered through the glass seeing a very much alive Lexa safely ensconsed in Jesse's arms. This clearly wasn't the time to interrupt them.
"Thank God! She's O.K" Brennan enthused.
Shalimar smiled "We should leave them to it"
Brennan smirked "What and not go and celebrate our dear friends survival? Jesse seems to have the right idea" he pointed to the pair still locked together, in a passionate embrace.
"Dude, this is kinda creepy" Jamie said but his eyes didn't leave the kissing couple.
Shalimar grabbed both of them by the scruffs of their neck, hauling them along by their shirts "They need some time, and they don't need you two letches interrupting them. Besides you two need to help me search the database for our mystery man" she tugged the pair away from the window and towards the upstairs computer lounge.
Jesse and Lexa broke apart from the kiss but Jesse still clung to her, tightening his grip around her as if afraid if he let her go she'd disappear. "Urgh Jess I kind of need to breath here!" Lexa gasped going slightly blue.
"sorry" he said blushing and withdrawing from the hug.
"Jesse…" Lexa began reaching for him again before breaking off and pulling her hand back to her side.
"What?" he asked looking at the ground and clasping his hands behind his back as if unsure what to do with them.
"Umm. Thanks is all" Lexa muttered.
"For what?" was his awkward reply as he focused anywhere but on Lexa.
"Jesse I'm pouring my heart out here or the nearest thing I get to it, the least you could do is look at me" she implored not quiet able to keep the anger out of her voice.
Jesse slowly raised his head to meet her gaze, his face remained neutral but his eyes revealed his fear.
"Jesse. I heard what you said, heard everything you guys said. I guess it kept me going. I've never had to rely on anyone but myself before but laying there I had to trust that you could save me and I did trust you" she blushed.
"Lexa you're actually blushing" he said fear giving way to amusement briefly.
"Shut up Jesse! Or I'll make you keep your promise to paint my toenails everyday" she said with her usual smirk.
"You heard that huh? I don't know what to say? I know how hard it is for you to trust people. I'm honoured" Jesse said embarrassment taking over once again.
"You don't have to say anything. I just… I need to say some things." She took a deep breath "I nearly died today, and well I don't know what the future holds…" she broke his gaze and turned away.
Jesse interrupted her "Look just don't say it Lexa." He said turning away from her "I don't want to hear it! I can't hear it! I can't cope with it right now, there's so much we need to do" Jesse clenched his fists awaiting Lexa's continued speech and her inevitable rejection of him.
Lexa stood up behind him, her jaw dropped as she took the blow of his unsubtle rejection. To begin with she felt desperation and overwhelming sadness but that quickly changed to unfettered anger. Her volatile emotions took hold and she let out everything in a mad rampage. "I should've known! I mean, I really should've known!" she began pacing angrily stomping on the shards of glass littering the floor. "I've been shutting myself off from everybody for years for a good reason, to avoid getting hurt. But no I let the walls down I let you in. What a fool!" she continued her rapid circling of the lab unaware that Jesse had turned and was watching her pacing in shock.
"I should've never have trusted you!" she said, invading his personal space and pointing in his face. "Why did I begin to believe, I mean really believe that you cared, that someone could actually love me for me! Love me the way I loved them. I never learn from my mistakes, damn it! Carter was a grade A ass and so are you!"
She began to pace again, flinging a table aside. "You're a jerk you know that! You say all these things that pull me back to the land of the living, that give me hope! What a joke! Did I ever really know you? Your one hell of an actor aren't you, you even made me love you. How I hate myself for that. Your all the same, every guy I've ever know, bastards all of you" Lexa couldn't contain her anger she screamed in rage.
Jesse just stood their, stunned beyond belief, his brain slowly processing all that she was saying. Suddenly one thing began to ring resound in his ears, she'd said she loved him! He ran to her, dragging her into his arms, massing against the continued onslaught of her flailing arms.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What did you just say?" Jesse demanded.
"What do you mean what did I just say! You deaf you big jerk!" she continued to pummel him.
He grabbed her hands and contained them safetly in his grasp. "tell me what you said" he ordered again.
"That you're a jerk!" she yelled.
"Nope not that, try again" he said more calmly.
"That you're a bastard!" she yelled.
"That was definitely mentioned, not true but not what I meant either" his voice was calm and he began to grin. Instead of infuriating her it almost seemed to calm her.
"That you're a grade A ass?" she questioned quietly.
"Keep trying" Jesse said.
"What the hell do you want me to say?" she said confused.
"How about you clarify this whole you love me thing" he said
"You know how to kick someone when there down don't you" she said wriggling trying to escape his tight hold.
"That doesn't answer my question but I'll give you a break. We seem to be having a real communication problem here. Lexa I love you too, surely you know that. But I was afraid you were just trying to let me down gently, the whole were better as friends thing and I just couldn't face it so I just tried to cut you off, so you couldn't hurt me" he admitted this quickly as he waited with baited breath for a response.
Lexa was no longer struggling, she starred into his eyes noting for the first time the fear present "Why would you think I was going to let you down gently?"
"Lex, you don't exactly give a guy a whole lot of encouragement besides you cut me off before at the dominion I figured that said it all" Jesse explained.
"Not enough encouragement! How's this for encouragement?" Before he had time to react to her cryptic statement she pulled him into a deep kiss. He gasped in surprise and their tongues intertwined. For several minutes no sounds were heard. They both pulled back at the same time breathing heavily, panting for air.
"Wow. I like that kind of encouragement!" Jesse said breathlessly, smiling widely.
Lexa merely smiled in response, something suddenly struck her "Where are the others?"
"Umm well that's a good question, Shal, Bren you there?" he spoke into his com-ring
"Yep. Were at the computers Jess! You obviously didn't hear us come in, you were a bit preoccupied" Shalimar responded with a smile in her voice.
"How long have you been back?" he asked in surprise.
"Long enough to know Lexa's fine!" Jamie replied grinning at Brennan.
Lexa and Jesse shared an embarrassed look. "You two need to get lives" Shalimar said to Brennan and Jamie "Don't worry I kept them away. As no-one else seems to have had the courtesy to ask How you doing Lexa?
"I'm fine thanks" she said as both she and Jesse walked up the stairs to join them. "Where's Baby?"
Jamie looked at her in distress "they got her. Whilst we were working on fixing you, they took control and she got away. Were working on finding out who took her now"
"Ohh man!" Lexa said sitting down abruptly.
"That about sums it up" said Brennan before being interrupted by an incoming call.