A few of you have mentioned that you would like to see a more maternal side of Fiona. This, and several others that I've written show a softer side to Fiona. I know that Fiona loved Cordelia, she just had a different way of showing it. That's what I'm trying to shape, I'm just bouncing it back and forth around different events throughout Cordelia's childhood. There's a general idea here, just bear with me. :)
Anyways, this one shows a very sweet, tender moment between Fiona and Cordelia. I really hope you all like it. I really enjoyed writing it. Let me know what you think and thanks for reading!
Fear, intense fear echoed throughout every nerve, reverberating within her body as if it were hollow. Her throat ached and her hands shook intensely. I can't do this.
Fearless—a word that had described her throughout her whole existence, right up until nine months ago. She was scared when she read the results on the pregnancy test, she was uneasy when she went to her first doctor's visit, she was afraid that her body would never return to its former splendor as she stared at the stretched skin in the mirror; but this, this was something altogether different.
This was terror. It could be described in no other way. It prevailed over everything else, even the physical ache and exhaustion that had been her main focus thirty minutes ago. Now, the pain was gone and the sounds of her groaning had been replaced by the high-pitch cry of an infant. Her infant. My daughter.
The words settled into her mind, trying to adjust to the title, to the syllabic rise and fall of such a life-altering phrase. Fiona clamped her eyes shut and took a deep breath in an attempt to quell her nerves and calm her racing heart. I can do this. I'm not afraid of anything.
She opened her eyes and began searching for the tiny body responsible for the wailing. A nurse across the room was busy wrapping the baby, blocking her view. Her eyes caught sight of a tiny fist moving to the sound of the tiny shuddering cries. She listened for any irregular sign within the cry, but to her it seemed strong, as if she was announcing to the world, "Look at me. I've arrived and don't you forget it. Fiona smiled, holding back a laugh as the nurse began to turn around.
Another wave of terror hit, sucking the oxygen from her body and draining her face of color. The baby was placed in her arms, still making her grand entrance. I don't know how to do this.
She was awestruck. How can this be mine?
She stared into the tiny face, committing every feature to memory. She ran her finger across the small, puffy cheek, down the bridge of her nose, letting her palm rest behind the infant's head of fine blonde hair. This is mine.
"Shhh, it's ok. Everything's ok."
She rocked the infant in her arms, nestling her deeper into her chest. The wailing turned into a soft sniffle; a sense of pride kicked in. I can do this. This wouldn't be any different than any other obstacle she'd faced in life.
When she found out she was pregnant, she had thought about giving the baby up. She wasn't cut out to be a mother. There's no way she could be responsible for the life of another human being. But now, as she stared down into the sweet, cherubic face, she knew that she was making the right decision. Not because she was confident that she would make a perfect mother, but because she knew that she loved her enough to try.
In truth, Fiona hadn't given much thought to a name. The whole pregnancy had felt like a dream. It never felt like she would ever make it to this moment. But here it was. The moment she was able to hold this nameless, angelic creature in her arms, making it all real.
Bringing her into the world was her first task as a mother, but this was the first time that she would have to make a decision that impacted the life of her daughter. The responsibility swept over her instantly. She smiled as the set of perfect, tiny lips began to move in a sucking motion. Without thought, she placed her knuckle in the tiny mouth, laughing at how quickly she picked up the concept.
"What's your name, little doll? Hmm?" She rocked her back and forth, knowing it needed to be something soft and sweet. Nothing else would fit.
"Cordelia." The baby opened her eyes, a smile, or what seemed to be one, spreading across her face. Fiona's heart felt like it would burst. "That's it. That's your name."
She placed a kiss on Cordelia's head and nestled her farther into her body. "It's just you and me Cordelia," she half-whispered, liking the way the name sounded out loud. "You and me against the world. And we're gonna be ok."