My Little Dhampir
A/N: The reviews have been so amazing, I feel totally psyched to keep writing this! There will maybe eventually be lemons but if I'm honest I've never written one aside from that Jack/Rose titanic fanfic my mom found when I was like 11 and that's an entirely different story, and its embarrassing haha. But if you would like, I shall try.
Rose might as well have been on the other side of the world, for how often I got to see her since she's been back at Court. Even when she was unconscious Belikov was always there, keeping me away. A few weeks ago, all I could do was long to see her. To hold her in my arms again, to show her how much I loved her. How much she meant to me. Instead she wouldn't meet my eyes when I did happen to catch sight of her. I could see her shift uncomfortably from one foot to the other when she felt my emotions. I tried my hardest to keep her blocked from me, but that was one thing I hadn't figured out yet. I would ask Rose how she managed to block Lissa's emotions, but I doubt she'd even let me start asking. She's done a fantastic job at showing me how much I mean to her. Which is basically fucking nothing.
Everything changed so much, in so little time. When I went to pick her up, I was on top of the world. I had the girl, one of my best friends was going to be Queen and I was finally getting the hang of using my spirit based abilities. Then I turned the corner and my entire world shattered. Now my best friend was Queen, I did not have the girl, and I had no idea what the fuck I was doing with my life. I wanted to spend it with My little Dhampir, but now... I was lucky if she didn't turn tail and run when she saw me walking towards her.
"Adrian, eat something." Lissa chided softly. Not wanting anyone to hear her. I ignored her, but I pushed my peas around the plate anyway. Christian kicked me from his spot across from me at the formal dining table. I could barely concentrate on maintaining the illusion that everything was fine with Lord Ivashkov. Thank god he finally got over his Dhampir infatuation. Fucking fools. It was taking every ounce of my willpower to stare at my plate and not at Rose standing less than 8 feet away from me, behind Lissa's spot at the head of the table. If I just turned my head a little to the left I could see her. Christian kicked me again.
"Alright, alright. I'm eating." I muttered, meeting his worried eyes as I cut off a piece of my now cold chicken and stuffed it in my mouth. Chewing with my mouth open and downing the rest of my wine. We were at some sort of dinner, but if anyone asked me what it was I just didn't know. I felt a flicker of an emotion, I wouldn't have been sure I felt anything at all if I didn't know what she felt like. I couldn't pinpoint what it was, I was better at reading auras than I was random flashes of feeling. I sat there completely rigid for the rest of the dinner. Counting the seconds until I could make a hasty exit. Finally, Lissa was thanking everyone for being here for... Whatever. I didn't care, I was already out the door with a cigarette in my mouth. Rose got what she wanted. She was Lissa's guardian. Belikov too, although that was completely against Lissa's wants and desires. She wanted nothing more than to separate them and keep Belikov far away from her and everyone she cared about.
"Could you be more obvious?" Christian asked, walking out of the building and joining me outside. I shrugged, struggling to find my cigarette lighter. Suddenly my cigarette was on fire.
"Jesus, Christian!" It had startled me, but it shockingly didn't set me on fire. I took a long deep drag and felt my frayed nerves mending. He had been practicing. I felt bad that I hadn't noticed. We may not have been as close as he and Rose, but we were pretty much buds. Him and Rose had that whole combat bond, they could rely on each other on a different level than they could anyone else. Almost.
"She was staring at the side of your face the entire time." I scoffed,
"Don't bullshit a bullshitter, Christian." He just laughed, leaning against the wall next to me. That was our standard hangout position, when we were outside anyway. Probably because I usually liked to loiter while I smoked.
"I've heard someone else say that before. You two are a lot alike even if neither of you will admit it." I turned to look at him, and he just stared at me smirking.
"I can see why she threatened to kick your ass up and down the academy. You're obnoxious as fuck." There wasn't any heat behind it though. We all knew he was a smart ass, but we all were really. Even Lissa, if you caught her in the right mood.
"You're just jealous she never threatened you with holding you down until you surrendered." Now all I could think about was how her naked body had looked below mine.
"Fuck you, Christian." My cigarette was done. I dropped it on the floor and stamped it out, not giving a second thought to how much she hated litter. He must have taken my standing up straight as a sign I was leaving.
"Hey, wait. Seriously Adrian, you two have to talk." I rolled my eyes, maybe leaving was a good idea. I started walking away towards the court bar, and I heard him huff in frustration. "One of you is going to have to grow balls, but I guess maybe it will be Hathaway and not the man with actual balls." I turned to tell him to shut the fuck up but he was already back inside. Figures he'd say something like that and bail. I'd love for him to say that to Rose and walk away. I smiled in spite of myself, thinking about her.
Now I was in the mood to get drunk in my room and surround myself with memories of her. I headed towards the Palace instead. Lissa had given me new arrangements when she was made Queen. She wanted everyone she trusted and loved to be close by. Suspiciously my room was in the same hallway as Rose's. In fact I had to walk by it every time I came and went. Like every other time, this time would be no different. I tried to walk as fast as possible, trying to think so loud I wouldn't be able to hear anything that might be going on in there. Praying all the while that she wasn't in there with anyone. I wasn't even sure if she was using her room.
I've only ever seen Eddie Castile, because his room was across from mine at the end of the hall. He never really gave me the time of day before, we just didn't have much interaction. We never thought about being friends. He's been making an effort to be nice though, like he feels sorry for me. Saying hi to me in the hallway, when I just want to escape to or from my room hurriedly. No chance of seeing her. I made my way down the hallway smoothly. No one was around. They were probably at the party I was avoiding. I unlocked my door quickly and shut it behind me, locking the deadbolt. I had no desire for any interruptions. I just wanted to get drunk and high and pass out. I loosened my tie and tossed it over the back of the couch, my jacket following immediately after.
I had made a beeline to the alcohol. Grabbing a chilled glass from the fridge, and the vodka from the freezer I poured myself a glass. I usually liked ice but the ice machine was broken and fuck if I wanted to invite anyone in to fix it. Solitude was my main companion lately. Except for when Lissa sent for me. She liked to have little chats when Rose was away from her on a mission. I both liked and hated the fact that Lissa cared so much about me. On one hand it was flattering to know someone cared about me. As a person. Not me as an Ivashkov. I think that's part of the reason she liked me. I didn't care if she was the last Dragomir, or if she were the Queen. I supported her and Christian not because I knew no one else would because of his parents. I did it because they were great for each other.
I downed my drink and took the bottle with me to the couch. I only had two glasses of wine with dinner. I have been trying to cut back during social events. It wasn't a good image for one of the Queen's closest friends and the head of the Moroi Defensive Magic committee to be shitfaced in public all of the time. How could I bestow my wisdom if I were drunk? It was pretty smooth of Lissa and Christian to put me at the head. It couldn't be Christian, not with his tarnished family name. It was even worse after what his Aunt had done to Rose. Both of our Aunts had been particularly cruel to Rose.
It was funny how everything in my life came back to Rose. My little Dhampir. I took a deep breath, relaxing fully into the couch. Then I wasn't in my room anymore. I was at the party. My eyes glazing over every single Dhampir and Moroi in attendance. I knew I was seeing through Rose's eyes. I knew Lissa had never been able to do that with Rose and I wondered what made me so special? I did have a better grasp on my spirit use. I had been aware and using it since I was fourteen. Lissa only just started understanding when she was seventeen. Now she's eighteen and Queen, with less free time than she would like to educate herself in spirit use. Her eyes passed over Guardian Belikov and I felt a momentary surge of regret. He didn't even acknowledge that she had been looking at him longer than necessary.
"What the hell?" I wondered aloud, not realizing I had spoken.
"Adrian?" Rose whispered, her hand coming up to her head. Her eyes closed and when they opened again I was back in my own room. Fuck. She knew I had been in her head. How was I to know I could do that? I dug out my phone from my jacket pocket and texted Lissa. She probably didn't have her phone on her but I'm sure she'd get it before Rose made her way to bitch me out. I was almost looking forward to seeing her.
I was just at the party. In Rose's head. She knows. FYI.
I liked to think of my texting skills as short and concise. Mostly I just wanted finish drinking and pass out. My little Dhampir's rage would have to wait.