My Little Dhampir
A/N: Let me know what you think! Reviews make me super stoked, so you know, if you wanna make a girl super stoked... :)
Rose hasn't been talking to much of anyone, aside from Belikov and Christian. You can only imagine my surprise when I heard heavy footsteps stomping all down the hallway, followed by a loud voice, "Shove it, Castille!" Poor Eddie. It seemed like My little Dhampir had come to pay me a long overdue visit. Unfortunately it wasn't going to be how I've been imagining it. Usually involving her knocking on my door wearing nothing but lingerie and a trench coat. A guy can dream, can't he? I decided to save myself the trouble of having to replace my door, she might just kick it down. I managed to open it right in the nick of time. There she was, poised and ready to kick my door down.
"My little Dhampir! What brings you here?" I opened the door wide so that she could come in. Her eyes traveled the length of my body, from head to toe. She had her guardian mask on, but I could see her flicker of attraction before she pushed it away. Aura reading was cheating, she had said. It's all I had though. I grinned at her. Her eyes narrowed when she noticed the glass in my hand. Probably knowing I didn't drink much water, so it had to be vodka. She pushed me into the room, slamming the door behind her. Her brown eyes all passionate fire, her face scrunched up in anger. Her hair falling loose from her bun, because she had probably run the whole way here. There hasn't been a single moment since I had seen her that night at the Ski Lodge, that I've managed to lose all sense of myself. The spirit was throbbing inside my head, pulsating through out my body.
She was beautiful then, with her black eye and tears. She was beautiful now, eyes glowering and aura outlined in black. I wondered if she had been taking my spirit induced darkness. I wasn't sure if she'd still have lingering darkness from Lissa. I tried to keep myself shut off from her, because I was not Lissa. I didn't need her to carry my burdens for me. I wanted to carry hers. I wanted to kiss her more than anything. To hold her in my arms again, have her remember how amazing and right it felt being together. I couldn't. She would never let me. I stepped away from her, with my arms up in surrender.
"There aren't any Strigoi here, Guardian Hathaway." Her eyes flashed surprise and her aura showed how hurt she was. Was it from me calling her Guardian Hathaway, or because I kept reminding her that she was wigging out? Her face was quickly composed into the Guardian mask we were all becoming accustomed to. She really was her Mother's daughter.
"Stay out of my head, Lord Ivashkov." Her tone was harsh, but her voice steady. I knew she was trying to give me a taste of my own medicine. It didn't work, I thought she was hot as hell. She can call me Lord Ivashkov anytime.
"You know more than me that it's involuntary." I tried not to sound as bitter and upset as I really was, but it still came out that way. I was though, at her, at our situation. My complete lack of control when it came to staying away from her. Even now my fingers twitched with need to touch her, feel her silken locks between my fingers.
"I haven't felt your emotions in days. I figured you'd been keeping good and drunk." She paused, looking around the room and noticing the lack of empty bottles everywhere. "And it seems like you haven't been drinking much at all. The only bottle I can see is still mostly full." Her aura beamed pride, but her tone was patronizing. I shrugged, turning away from her and sitting on the couch. Finishing my drink and pouring another. I didn't want to see her aura.
I kind of wanted to tell her I wouldn't drink so much if she'd stop this bullshit between us. I decided to keep my mouth shut though, I wasn't in the mood for a fight. I didn't bother answering her. Which of course, Rose took as me giving her the silent treatment. She huffed and made her way over to me, sitting on the coffee table. She leaned over and lifted my head up with her hands, forcing me to look into her eyes. I had been avoiding this very same thing since the last time, for my own sanity. I'm not sure what she was expecting to be able to read from my eyes. Something in the way she gasped softly and dropped her hand. It was too late, my eyes were locked on hers. I couldn't tear my head away if I tried, and I did. Her features seemed to soften, her hand reaching up instead to cup my cheek.
"Adrian..." She whispered in that breathless way I had always liked. I felt weak and paralyzed. Her eyes were burning with regret, the feel of her skin touching mine after so long... I was losing control. I spoke without thinking then, not understanding my words fully as they flowed from my mouth inhibited.
"My little dhampir, you've done it again with your siren's call. I'm afraid to move because this moment might end, I've wanted to touch you in so long." My hand reached out to touch her hair, I restrained myself just before I tucked her hair behind her ear. My hand hovering near her face. "Please, don't..." I had died and gone to heaven where it was just me and Rose together for eternity. Her lips were on mine and my world exploded into a thousand stars. I was stunned for a moment but my arms still wrapped around her of their own accord. Hers moved from my face to my hair, pulling it gently and running her nails along my scalp. She knew all of my tells. I groaned low in my throat, my hands reaching for her waist. I pulled her onto my lap without breaking the kiss. I needed to feel more of her touching me. Preferably without clothes, but I wouldn't take what I could get. I wouldn't be greedy.
I gently took her bottom lip between my teeth and bit down before I kissed her back open mouthed and sloppy. She groaned into my mouth and pushed herself closer to me. I obliged by wrapping my arms tightly around her, crushing her to my chest. Her mouth wasn't enough for me. I was greedy and wanted to taste more of her flesh. I kissed my way from her mouth down her jawline, where I paused to bite her earlobe and continued licking and sucking my way down to the base of her neck. Anticipation and desire roared through the bond.
"Fuck." I breathed out against her skin. I could feel her trembling, her hands leaving my back to pull my face back to hers. She smiled at me, with unshed tears glistening in her eyes. "Why are you so sad, my little Dhampir?" I reached up to brush a loose strand of hair behind her ear, like I had wanted to so badly earlier. "I wish you could feel happy always, no shadows cloaking your joy. I wish I made you that happy." I was losing hold on my spirit sanity. Her tears started falling then and she pulled me close, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand.
"Adrian, I can feel you. All of you." I thought for a moment she was talking about all of Little Ivashkov, not that I would ever actually call it that aloud. Then I realized that I had let my guard down completely when we kissed. I wasn't sure if it was the kiss itself, or the alcohol. I wasn't surprised, it has always been very easy to lose control of myself around Rose. She made me want to be a better man, the man I had been trying not to be because it was too hard. Just when I opened my mouth to apologize for letting my guard down, she continued.
"I never believed you." Her aura was rotating through an array of dark greens. Heartache, remorse, sorrow, all intertwined. This wasn't something she just started feeling, she's been feeling like this awhile. My heart leapt to my throat with hope.
"Never believed me about what?" I asked, my voice betraying my emotions. Not that she couldn't feel them anyway. I wiped her tears away while she composed herself. I wondered how I had gotten here from where I had been two hours ago. Miserable at dinner that Lissa was forcing me to attend, instead of here with Rose in this surreal moment.
"I always thought you just saw me as a prize to be won. Your Aunt Tatiana made that pretty clear, when she told me to stay the hell away from you lest I become pregnant and shipped off to a commune. Never mind all the stories I heard about you from Lissa and Dimitri all about the girls you went through, Dhampir and Moroi alike. I should have realized, though. That your past became null and void that night we met at the Ski Lodge. Even after, when you tried so hard to walk into my dreams to find us in Spokane. I had thought about asking you for help first, you know. With your super spirit compulsion, I thought I could get through the gates and leave you behind. I knew you'd follow me anywhere though, and I couldn't risk you. Not even then. I couldn't have you in danger any more than I could Lissa." She stopped then, wiping at her eyes.
"Little Dhampir..." I wanted to console her, we were already arms all tangled in one another. What would I say, what was there for me to say? That she had every part of me since the second I saw her? That day my whole world changed. She smiled at me, her hand reaching up to rub my unshaven cheek. I wondered if she liked the scruffy look I had been rocking lately. Her aura shifted a bit, curious, questioning. Still shades of green, but lighter. I gave her a quick kiss and waited for her to ask me what was on her mind.
"Why did you save me?" She rushed out all at once. I had been expecting that question. Just not in this exact setting. "Not to say, I'm not grateful. I am. It's just... Why didn't Lissa?" She seemed to be ashamed of even having to ask, she knew already that Lissa would have done everything she could to save her. She already knew the answer but she needed clarification.
"She was pulled from the room before you even hit the floor." I said bluntly, pulling her body closer still to mine. So thankful that I still had a little Dhampir to see and touch. She rested her head on my shoulder then, and squeezed me tightly with her arms. We sat there, just holding each other. I could almost die a happy man right now. Almost.
"You were closer to the door to the back of the room. Why weren't you dragged off too? First, even." I smiled at her words, they were more accurate than my own. Lissa had fought, but she she wasn't as strong as me. Physically or mentally. I almost lied to Rose then, telling her that I didn't matter as much as Lissa, since our friend was now Queen. It would be bullshit and she'd know it. I had been the late Queen's favorite nephew and everyone knew it. She had left me absolutely everything, and I was pretty much high up on the Royal Moroi ranking system. So I settled for telling Rose the truth, as I always would.
"I used compulsion and kicked some ass to get to you, My little Dhampir." I could feel her smiling against the crook of my neck.
"I know, I remember."