My Little Dhampir
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Chapter Four
"I know, I remember." I froze, that was the look she had given me. She was saying goodbye because she didn't believe I could do it, that I could bring her back. She had seen everything, though? Even Belikov? I was loathe to bring up that asshole, so I kept my questions to myself.
"So what did you see? If I'm honest I don't remember much of what happened. Lissa and I think I went into a spirit induced rage or something... There's only bits and pieces of that day left. There's memories here and there, shades of emotions, colors of auras and snapshots. Like images in a scrapbook." I couldn't bear to try to remember, either. The last thing I wanted was to remember the day I thought I had lost her. She ran her hand soothingly up and down my back. It was one of the most intimate things I had ever done with a woman. It was usually wham, bam, thanks, and I was out. This whole affection thing, I had only experienced it with Rose and my Aunt. This gentle touching without any motives, any purpose other than to soothe my raincloud of emotions.
"You shoved the first Guardian away from you and into a few Moroi." Her voice was soft, monotone. As if she was trying not to display any emotion. I felt her lips press to the side of my neck for a moment before she continued. "You gave Castille that black eye he was sporting, and you picked up my mother and put her behind you like she weighed nothing. All so you could cross the six feet to get to me." When she finished her voice had taken on a more awed, impressed tone. I couldn't believe after all I've ever said to her, she didn't think I wouldn't try to move mountains for her. I was dying to know if she saw something I remembered with amazing clarity. It still made my blood absolutely boil. "And I watched Dimitri stand still as you brushed past him. He basically ignored me as I laid there dying. Whereas you, the lazy Lord Ivashkov, moved faster than any Moroi I had ever seen. For me. A lowly Dhampir, with such a bad record I'm surprised I was accepted to be a Guardian at all. If my best friend weren't Queen, I would be on desk duty or worse. Even with my absurdly large Strigoi count." She ended it rather bitterly. I knew she hated owing people, and being in someone's debt. She earned where she was today. I stroked her hair gently, and told her just that.
"Rose, you are where you are because you deserve to be. You earned it. Every last bit. Sure, you don't do many things as traditionally as most Moroi would like, but the change is good. It's good for our people as a whole, Dhampir and Moroi alike. It's opening people's eyes to the bigger picture. Spirit, being shadow-kissed, Moroi defending themselves with their magic being used offensively, dhampir rights, the age law... Even our short romance set the stage for Moroi and Dhampir couples." Fuck, why did I have to say that. "Rose, these are all hot topics of discussion in every meeting. All because of you. The younger Moroi want a say, and they're saying they want change."
"I can feel it, you know? How proud you are of me. How passionate you are yourself for change." She lifted her head from my shoulder, and I held her face between my hands, jade green eyes meeting golden brown. "I should have never gone to Russia. I wish you had told me no. You couldn't though, could you? Even if I asked you for the moon, you'd tell me 'Yes, little dhampir.' As if it were no big deal." I smiled wryly at her.
"And what is it My little Dhampir wants now?" She cocked her head to the side and gave me her trademark man eater smile.
"Oh, I think you know, Lord Ivashkov." To demonstrate, she ground herself in my lap.
"Fuck, little Dhampir..." I muttered before capturing her lips with mine. We kissed for only a few seconds before she pulled away, turning her head towards the door behind me. Footsteps were coming down the hallway, brisk and with importance. Probably Belikov. He always did walk like he had a stick up his ass.
"Roza!" He yelled through the door before banging on it with his fist. Christ, how many angry Dhampirs were going to come over tonight? We both froze momentarily, searching each others faces for an answer on what to do. I didn't know where she stood with him, if he was here for her, would she leave me for him? Again?
"Roza, I know you're in there." He called through the door. She sighed and got off of my lap. I stood with her and grabbed her hand. I idn't know how to tell her that I wanted her to stay, to leave him for me.
"I won't ever leave you again." My little Dhampir smiled at me, love in her eyes and aura. She knew she made a mistake . I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I let go of her hand, nodding to the door. I trusted her to take care of herself. I could always count on her to be strong for everyone, except herself. That was my job. To be strong for her when she couldn't herself. I turned around and poured myself another drink. I wasn't even tipsy yet, my drinks had been spaced too far apart. I could tell when Rose opened the door because Belikov started badgering her with questions straight away.
"What took you so long? What were you doing in here alone, with him?" He didn't really give her much of a chance to answer before she got too pissed to answer without snapping at him. I turned around just in time to see Rose let him have it.
"Sure Dimitri, come on in. I'm sure Lord Ivashkov won't mind." She said airily, dripping sarcasm. That's my girl. Making him jealous and putting him in his place. I'd be a liar if I didn't admit it was hot as hell.
"A little distrustful, eh, Belikov?" I couldn't help myself, I toasted him with my glass and downed it, setting it on the coffee table behind me. I was a smart ass through and through. "Though, you would know all about that, wouldn't you?" I got a good glimpse of the guilty look on his face before he replaced it with his Guardian Mask. That didn't stop his aura from making his emotions an open book to me.
"I'm sorry for the intrusion, Lord Ivashkov." I smiled at him being so formal with me. He was embarrassed, he liked to be the perfect Guardian, and he knew his ass over reacted. He turned towards Rose, "Roza, The Queen has asked for you." He was staring into her eyes so intently, I wondered if he was bullshitting her and trying to use compulsion. That's how it always felt I looked like when I used it. His aura said he was being truthful, and there was a sense of urgency. "You should come too, Lord Ivashkov." Belikov said after Rose agreed to go with him. I was going to go anyway, but thanks, you dick. I grabbed my coat off the couch and headed towards the door. Rose staring between me and Belikov. 'Silly little Dhampir.' I gave her a toothy grin to emphasize that I was talking to her through the spirit bond. She just glared at me.
"Let's go then, you know how obnoxious Royals can be when you keep them waiting." Not that I'd ever known Rose to think Lissa was obnoxious, so I figured it was a dig at me. Oh boy, little Dhampir. 'You kept me waiting for so long.' She turned after opening the door to smile at me, and together we walked to the Palace.
I wondered what exactly went through Lissa and Christian's minds when they saw me stroll through the door besides Rose, with Belikov trailing behind like a Guardian would. They were confused and relived. Hell, I was too.
"So what's going on, Cousin?" I asked joining them in the sitting room. Sitting in the couch opposite of theirs I hoped Rose would sit next to me. Belikov moved to stand at the wall by the door, behind me. Good, at least this way I wouldn't have to look at him. Rose sat next to me. I was elated.
"I could ask you two the same thing, Cuz." Lissa said flippantly. Earning a big grin from Christian. He really was rubbing off on her. She was staring between me and Rose, not really focusing on either of us. She was looking at our auras intermingling. I wondered what it looked like to her.
"What was of such importance that you had to drag us out here at this hour? I wanted to go to bed." Rose asked impatiently, avoiding the issue altogether. I no longer cared, now I was thinking about her going to bed with me.
"There's been a contract put out on you." Christian said bluntly. Ice flowed through my veins as Lissa scolded him. I was terrified, Lissa and I shared a quick look. Both of us knowing that we couldn't lose her. We were too selfish to live without her. Rose broke out into hearty laughter beside me.
"So what? I've died twice, almost died at least twenty other times that I can think of offhand, I survived being kidnapped by Strigoi twice, and I broke out of jail."
'My little Dhampir, you really are too cocky for your own good.' She glared at me, before looking back towards Lissa and Christian.
"Rose! This isn't a joke. Abe, your father, might I remind you, is the one who told us about it. He is already on the way, and I'm sure your mother is with him. You really must've pissed off a whole mess of people on your stupid suicide mission to Russia." She spat out angrily. Wow, I don't think I had ever seen Lissa berate Rose like that. Or at all, really. "And don't think I'm not mad at your stupid ass for funding her bullshit trip." She turned her green eyes on me, and I won't lie I cringed a bit. Now we've made our Queen swear and she's only been Queen for a few weeks. I suddenly felt like I had whenever my Aunt Tatiana would call me in and lecture me. Lissa was going to be a great Queen and mother one day. Already stellar with the guilt trips.
"The only enemies I made in Russia was Zmey and Viktoria." Rose said confidently. The fact that it was two and she was so sure was disturbing. It should have been none for a trip that only lasted the upside of a month.
"Viktoria Belikov?" He asked from behind us. Rose sighed and spoke without turning around,
"Yes, I keep telling you to visit your family. They need to know you're alive, a dhampir. They really love you a lot." So she has been trying to get rid of him huh? I'll take that positively because I'm selfish and self centered. Possibly also optimistic, which was new for me.
"Rose, you have to leave court." Lissa said firmly, in a voice that said there would be no objections. Of course, she was talking to Rose...
"I'm not leaving!" Rose erupted, jumping up from her seat in frustration. A Guardian I didn't know stepped forward a if she were about to assault the Queen. "Connors, are you fucking serious?" She hissed through her teeth at him, poised and more than ready to put him on his ass. I had to adjust myself, my Valkyrie woman was beautiful and fierce. I stood up and put my hand on her shoulder. I had almost expected her to flip me on my ass, and give me a verbal lashing as well. Instead she surprised me by reaching up and clasping my hand with hers.
"You have to go. It's safer for me, for every Moroi at court." Lissa said, looking more upset than ever at having to say this to her best friend. Her Guardian. She knew she could count on Rose to take care of her, and herself. If she sent Rose away, who would take care of Lissa? She didn't want to voice that out loud though, Rose would never leave. Lissa would be safe at court, but it wouldn't mean she didn't feel nervous when she was by herself.
"No, you're right. As usual. I'm just being selfish. As usual." Rose said tiredly, I could see the exhaustion wearing her down, creeping around the edges of her aura. She turned towards me, and pulled my hand down so she could hold it between both of hers. "Still got that bank card in my name, Ivashkov?" She tried joking, but she just sounded strained. I looked at her and then to Lissa, my emotions stumbling all over one another. I was frantic. She was just going to leave me. Again. I couldn't let her just leave me. Not again. That's all she ever did, was leave me. It was her hidden talent aside from killing Strigoi. She'd give me a glimmer of hope and then she'd bail.
"You're always going to leave me." I breathed, touching her face with my free hand, moving it up to push a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "That is our destiny. To never be together, to never be complete." My voice was taking on a whimsical tone, I was losing it to the darkness. I heard her gasp, and say my name, but I was already fading to black.