WARNING: This story contains themes of depression, SI (self-injury) and suicide.

This is dedicated to the sweet reviewers of the last chapter: yogaluva, AlamancexGurl, Y0uNMcK33, pumpkinking5, MissIndependentlyPerfect, coolio1260, Waffleluver, anoddapple, eeyore197829, and Bluebell140. Again, thank you so much!

Gabriella continued riding with Troy to and from school. Her car was damaged beyond repair and she wasn't left with any other options. Much to Gabriella's delight, talking was kept to a minimum between them. Since the incident with Sharpay, she had found it hard to look at Troy. The mere thought of him with Sharpay made her stomach churn. She was jealous but she did everything in her power to look past it.

She signed in frustration as she stared at her Pre-Calculus homework. Slamming her book shut with her work still inside it, she grabbed her cell phone and pounded on the keys to bring it out of it sleep.

"She's an hour late," she said to no one in particular as she noted the time. "She was never one for punctuality," she said as she threw her phone on to her bed.

Before:

"Gabriella, are you ready?"

The 13-year-old looks up from her book to see her father dressed sharply in a suit and tie. "Dad, I've been ready. It takes me like five minutes to do my hair and get dressed."

"I know, I know. It's your mother that takes forever getting ready," he says with annoyance evident in his voice as he plops down on her bed.

Gabriella sits up and rests against her headboard. She rolls her eyes and says, "You knew that when you married her."

"I know, what was I thinking?"

She fights a frown as she tries to figure out if he's kidding. If wasn't for the many nights of lying in bed and listening to them fighting, there wouldn't be a doubt in her mind. "But you love her anyway, right?" she says, smiling brightly and waiting for his confirmation.

"Have either of you seen my white gold ring?" her mother calls from the other room.

"Dear God, she lost her jewelry again!"

Gabriella frowns as she hears her father's frustration. "You took it off when you washed the dishes!" she screams in reply, her eyes never leaving the man who was cracking his knuckles in annoyance. "You'd think she'd remember the routine by now," she jokes, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Apparently not," he says rather stiffly.

She was at a lost of words as they sat in silence. There was so much that she wanted to ask him but she was too afraid to hear the answer.

"When are you off for winter break?" he asks suddenly, catching her off guard.

"Like the weekend before Christmas? Why?'

"How about we spend Christmas in New York this year?"

"But mom likes going to California every Christmas to visit her parents."

"Nothing's stopping her," he mutters as he stands and straightens his tie. "We'll figure something out," he says more cheerfully and offers her his hand. "C'mon Ella, let's go see if your mother's finally ready."

She nods as she links theirs hands and follows him out of her room. For the rest of the night, she had remained quiet as she studied her parents' interaction. They were drifting further and further apart. It's then that she promises herself that she would make herself the perfect daughter so that they would have no reason to separate.

Now:

Gabriella rushed out of her room as she heard the rustling of the front door. She should be frightened of what was to come when her mother find out about her car but she was just happy to have her mother home again.

"Welcome to my humble abode," her mother said in a rather cheery voice.

Before she had a chance to ask her mother whom she was talking to, she froze at the top of the staircase as she heard an unfamiliar male voice. She peaked over the banister and made sure that she was kept out of her line of vision. Gabriella bit back a gasp as she spied her mother standing in her flight attendant's uniform and a man in what a appeared to be a pilot's uniform.

"Your home's just as lovely as you are."

"Such a sweet-talker," her mother said as she leaned up to kiss the man. "Why don't you get our luggage out of my car while I check if Gabriella's home."

"Who's Gabriella again?"

"My sister," she answered nonchalantly as she peered into the garage.

"That's right, you live with your sister. It's so nice that you took her in when your parent's died."

"You know, it was the right thing to do," she said as she reappeared by the man's side. She snaked her hands around his neck while his went around her waist. "Speaking of things to do, I think our bags can wait."

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Because we have this house all to ourselves."

"In that case, maybe you could take me on a tour," the man suggested, his hand dipping from her mother's lower back to her ass.

"Gladly. Let's start with the master bedroom."

Gabriella felt the bile rise in her throat. Had her mother really brought home a co-work? Not only that, but had she really disown her daughter? She ran back to her room, not caring if she made too much noise and locked her bedroom door. Not being able to handle being in the same house as the very woman that ignored her existence, she walked onto the balcony and tried to recall the way Troy had maneuvered his body to scale the side of her tree. Her limbs were shorter and not as strong as Troy's but at this point, she didn't care.

Hurting herself by climbing down a tree was the least of her worries.

-TWLOHA-

Gabriella stood in confusion as her eyes scanned the shelves in front of her. There were so many choices. She read the labels carefully, tempted by each promise that was made. It felt like an hour had passed with her comparing brands. But she would stand there for an hour more if she had to in order to pick out the most effective one. Besides, she was in no rush to return home.

After scaling down the side of her tree, she found herself at the local park well past sunset. She wandered around helplessly and watched the perfect families spending a day in the sun. it made her sick to think that perhaps one of the little toddlers in the sandbox would grow up to be just like her. Once she made her body physically exhausted, she need to help relax her mind. That's how she found herself standing in the middle of isle eight of the drugstore.

"Mind if I make a suggestion?"

She jumped at the unexpected voice and whipped around to see the last perhaps she wanted to see. Dressed in a fitted white shirt, dark washed jeans and black converse was Troy Bolton standing at the end of the isle. "Be my guest," she said as she tore her eyes away from his relaxed state.

"These are the ones that I gave you when you were over at my house," he said as he plucked a small white bottle from the bottom shelf. He handed it over to her, making her breath catch in her throat as his skin brushed against hers. "They worked for you, didn't they?" he asked, taking a step back from her.

"Yeah, they did. Thanks," she muttered as she began walking backwards him, still not willing to meet his eyes. "I'll see you around, Troy." With a final wave, she turned around and made her way to the checkout counter.

Not a minute later, she heard footsteps following close behind her. "If this continues, I might have to file a restraining order," she said without bothering to turn around.

"Hey, I'm just trying to figure out how you got to a store almost two miles away when your car is sitting in some junk yard."

Gabriella ignored his comment and presence as she waited patiently in line. She greeted the cashier pleasantly as the elder woman rung up her items with a genuine smile.

"$4.73 is your total."

She slid a five-dollar bill across the counter as Troy drummed his fingers as he stood to her left.

"Ma'am, don't you think it's improper for a young woman to walk alone at night?" Troy asked as he nudged Gabriella's shoulder.

"It would be just as improper if you didn't make sure that said young woman got home safely," she said with an amused smile.

"Well, we wouldn't want to be improper," he said as he reached for the plastic bag of her purchase. He draped an arm around her stiff shoulders and bid a farewell to the cashier. "She's nice."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she snapped as soon as they exited the store and she shrugged his arm off of her. She rip her plastic bag out of his grip and planted her feet firmly on the ground.

"I'm taking you to my car so that I can drive you home."

"Thanks but no thanks. I'll walk."

"Then I'll walk with you."

"That would mean that you'd walk me home, only to have to walk back to get your car. You're insane."

"Says the girl that wants to home alone- at night."

"Troy," she began softly, using all her control to not scream at him, "I can take care of myself. I do it all the time."

"And you're doing such a great job," he said sarcastically as he gave her small frame a once over. "That's why you're all skin and bones now. When was the last time you had a real meal?"

She was taken aback by his analysis of her and was left without a response. Letting out a huff of frustration, she crossed her arms tightly across her chest and turned around. "Go ahead and stalk me home. Why should I give a damn that you're wasting your time?"

"It's not a waste if I know that you're safe," he said, causing her to fall silent. He took longer strides, ensuring that she couldn't walk ahead of him.

Gabriella could feel him watching her underneath the streetlights, but she tried hard to not acknowledge it. She would be completely heartless if she didn't feel flattered by his determinism. Despite all of her attempts to resist him, she found it hard to not swoon at his every word. She couldn't remember the last time that any guy had given her that much attention.

"I can't give you your confidence."

For the first time that night, she glanced sideways to look at him peculiarly. "What are you talking about?" she nearly hissed.

"I can tell you that you're beautiful, smart and downright sexy. But none of that means anything if you don't believe that it's true." He spoke from his heart and spoke with such reverence, as if this was the most important secret in the world. "I say this because I care. I really think that you need to get some help."

"Getting help would imply that I have a problem," she said after what felt like an hour of pure silence.

"That may be so, but it would also imply that you can start feeling better again."

"There's no way in hell that I'm going to talk to some freak, who is going to analyze my every thought and motive. I'm not crazy."

"Hey, I never said that you're crazy," he said softly as he gripped her elbow softly to pull her to a stop. "i just said that you need help."

"That's only going to happen if my mother forces me into it. And let's face it, that woman isn't even home enough to notice that anything's wrong- let alone, care."

Troy held her an arm's length away as he held onto both her elbows. "Despite what you think, your mom loves you. Any mother would be devastated to hear that her child has been cutting and attempted suicide."

"Okay, you caught me. I'm a cutter," she admitted for the first time aloud and dropped her gaze to the gap between them, "but I didn't try to kill myself."

"Gabriella, there's nothing you can say that would convince me otherwise."

"If that's how you feel, why don't you tell her about how fucked up her daughter is."

"I could tell her about all of that and she could have you admitted to some mental facility, but unless you actually want to get better, it's not going to make a difference either way. You're smart enough to fool the therapist and everyone around you. I have no doubt that you could put on that mask of yours and pretend that everything's okay. You need to see that you need help."

"Who the hell are you to tell me that I need help?"

"I'm someone who's been there," he said firmly as he gripped her by her biceps as she fought to breakaway. He didn't care that from the outside looking in, this looked like a dangerous situation for the said girl. If this was the only way to get through her thick skull, he would risk the chance of being beaten by a passerby that wanted to play superman. He pulled her into a nearby ally and caged her against the wall.

"I've been right where you are now," he said in a softer tone as he cupped her cheek and forced her to look at him. "At 13, I stopped living for myself. I worked so hard to be this picture perfect son that I felt that I had to be. My parents never pressured me but I knew that they wanted me to be the ultimate son. With my sister sick all of the time, I felt like I couldn't let them down. But I was miserable. My mother had once told me that I was selfish and I knew that she was right. It killed me inside to know that I wasn't good enough. So I picked up one of those old fashion razors that my grandfather kept at our house for when he visited and ran it against my stomach. That pain was addicting. Even on my so-called "good" days, I couldn't sleep at night unless I did it."

He dropped his hand from her cheek and gripped one of her hands that dangled lifelessly at her side. It would appear to be a sexual moment but it was anything but that as he brought her hand to trace a long line across his lower abdomen.

"I did that the day after my sister died and we came home without her," he said before folding her hand into his and entwining their fingers. "Getting up in the morning is a pain in the ass and falling asleep at night is even worse. You feel like there's no one in the world that you can talk to because no one understands how alone you feel. It doesn't matter if you're in a room full of family and friends, you still feel alone. Then you start to believe that-"

"I had enough of this," Gabriella said finally as she blinked back tears that were threatening to fall. She ripped her hand out of his grip and pushed him away with all her might. "I am so sick of you prying into my business! So, why don't you go hook up with Sharpay somewhere and stay the fuck out of my life?"

"Sharpay?" he asked sharply, holding her hands against his chest to halt her movement. "What the hell does she have to do with this?"

"She's in love with you!" She didn't mean to scream but all sorts of emotions coursed through her veins.

"What?"

"You are so dense."

"I'm dense?" He let out a bitter laugh. "That's fucking rich coming from you."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"What do you think it means?" Troy asked as he took a step towards her, his statuesque frame towering over her. He didn't give her chance to reply as he crashed his lips onto hers and released her hands. Placing his hands on her waist, he brought her closer to him as her hands wound instinctively around his neck. "I care about you. A lot," he whispered against her lips as he pulled away.

You shouldn't. She thought as her eyes drifted open slowly to meet the intensity in his blue eyes. Despite her better judgment, she leant up to meet his lips in a slow, soft kiss. She allowed him to deepen the kiss, coaxing her to part her lips. Wrapped up in the moment, they could of gone forever like this in the darkness of the alley. Blame it on months of built up sexual tension, but neither wanted to be the first to pull away.

But the shrill of a cell phone busted the bubble that they created around them.

Troy pulled away slowly, reluctantly and placed one last kiss on her pulsating lips before he pulled out his phone from his back pocket and breathing out a greeting. "Fuck! I can't believe I forgot!" he said, suddenly, causing her to jump slightly. With his free hand, he entwined their hands and brought to his lips as a silent apology. "Can you just leave it by the cashier? Why not? C'mon man, you've been filling this prescription for me for a year. Company policy, I got it. I'll see you in a bit."

"What's wrong?" she asked as he slipped his phone back into his pocket.

"I forgot my prescription at the pharmacy and they're about to close. I stupidly waited until I was completely out to have my prescription refilled. Last time I skipped a dose, I got nauseous and whatnot so I don't want to risk it."

"Prescription for what?" she asked as he led her back to the sidewalk and in the direction of the drugstore.

"Cymbalta: it's my anti-depressant. My doctor's starting to wane me off of it now."

As his words left his lips in an almost proud tone, she felt reality crashing onto her. That emotional tie that held them together was depression. The reason he understood her so well was because he has been where she is. Now he was recovering and here she was- bringing up all of those memories once again. How is it fair that she'd make him relive it?

So lost in her thoughts, she hadn't realize that they already reached the drugstore. "I'll wait out here for you," she said quietly as she pulled back.

He nodded and pecked her once on the lips. "I'll be really quick and maybe now that you're a little more willing, we could drive home instead of walking?"

She couldn't help but giggle at his teasing tone. Agreeing with a quick nod, she accepted another kiss from. She watched as he walked into the store, shooting glances over his shoulder all of the way. But as he walked away, her smile faltered.

She wouldn't be a healthy component to his recovery. He needed someone supportive and always available because they aren't wrapped up in their own drama. She could still taste him on her lips and she couldn't help but smile. Turning away from the store, she spotted a familiar face in the parking lot that would be willing to take her home. Shaking the bottle that she almost forgot that she purchased, she shifted her gaze between it and the drugstore.

"Goodbye, Troy," she whispered as she blinked back the tears that threatened to fall.

-TWLOHA-

When Gabriella arrived home, she slowly crept down the stairs to get a glass of water to swallow her sleeping aids. She listened carefully for any signs of her mother and her guest. Her mother's familiar laughter echoed through the house. The lights from the kitchen spilled into the hallway and the smell of spaghetti filled the air. She felt her eyes water and she made no effort to keep them from falling. As she crept back upstairs, this was what was running through her mind: her mother was happier without a daughter.

After locking herself into her room, she collapsed onto the floor in a crying heap. She hugged her knees to her chest and buried her face into her arms. She waited to feel the pain from her mother's words but she felt nothing.

It was just like the night of her accident.

When she drove her car into the tree she had waited for an instant pain that overtook her body but it never came. Broken glass shattered around her and the static of the radio was all she heard until she was shoved in to total silence. Her whole body went numb that night but it wasn't from any physical pain. For a split second, she had thought that she had succeeded; that her death had been straight and fast. But from the moment the tree caused her roof to cave in and shards of glass sprinkled on her skin, she knew that she had failed.

"Why am I still alive?" she asked aloud as stumbled to stand.

For years, Gabriella had felt like a burden. Nothing she did was enough to stop her parents from arguing. They fought constantly at night, after they thought their daughter was tucked into her bed. Occasionally, they would fight in front of her but her dad would always deflect the argument. She thought if she was the perfect daughter than there would be nothing to fight over but she had been wrong. It didn't matter what she did because her father still left in the end. Even now, she was a burden in her mother's life. That was a problem that she could fix.

The first time she had failed but this time, she would do it right.

With her head held high, she grabbed her newly purchased bottle of pills from her nightstand and rummaged through her bedside drawer for her blade. She took a good look around her room and debated on whether she should clean.

"First thing's first," she said as she made her way into her bathroom. She plugged her tub's drain and turned the tap on so that warm water began to fill it. Setting her blade on the tube's ledge, she turned herself back towards the mirror and gave herself a once over.

She tried to look past her disheveled hair and pale face but she couldn't see anything that could be salvaged.

There was nothing worth saving.

Gabriella broke the seal of the sleeping pills and emptied half of its contents into the palm of her hand. She experimented with one little white pill first, using her other hand to cup the sink water into her hand to bring it to her lips. The pill slid easily down her throat and so she tried swallowing more at once.

Before she knew it, she downed more than half the bottle and she felt slightly dizzy. The rational part of her brain told her that the medicines couldn't be taking affect already but the other part just wanted it all to be over. She steadied herself by gripping the counter and turned back to the nearly filled tub. Sitting on the tube's ledge, she reached over to turn the tap off and ran a hand through the bathwater.

Perfect. She thought as she stood to lock the bathroom door. Not wanting to feel the heaviness of wet denim in her final moments, she shimmied out of her jeans. Dressed in only her undergarments and a T-shirt, she sat on the tub's ledge with her legs submerged in the water. She eased herself gently into the tub and watched as the water inched closer to the tub's rim. By the time that she was fully submerged with the water reaching her shoulders, the water was threatening to overspill.

The warm water eased every aching muscle in her body and her eyes involuntarily drifted shut as she welcomed the feeling. She carefully groped the tub's ledge for her trusty blade and pressed it to her forearm under the water. The sharp tip pierced her skin but she kept her hand still. Maybe it was the obscuring her view or the sleeping pills taking affect but she found it hard to see the straight lines marring her wrist. Hugging her knees to her chest, she propped her arm on her knees. She could see the latest scar looking out of place on her skin. It was a crooked and hideous reminder of her failure. It was then that she was reminded of the way LOVE was written to distract from it.

"What love?" she asked with a bitter laugh. "My own mother pretends that I don't exist!"

With a light touch, she traced the tip of the blade to trace where LOVE's L faded. Gabriella was alone in this world. There was no love that surrounded her from anyone. She couldn't even remember that last time she was told that she was loved. She laughed at the irony of it all. The love in her life had faded and Troy's LOVE had faded.

Pressing the blade harder into her skin, she carved LIES where LOVE once was written. She smiled in satisfaction as blood seeped through the broken skin. That four letter word was much more applicable to her life.

Lies were the one thing that broken her down each day but they also kept her from falling apart. Behind the bright smiles hid a girl that was exhausted from keeping up with a charade. She was kidding herself if she thought she could go on forever with her secret.

For once, she was going to do something for herself.

Gabriella closed her hand tightly against her blade as she eased herself lower into the tub. The blade bit into her palm but she hardly noticed, as her hair became a floating mess of knots, as she was now neck-deep in the water.

She whispered her final goodbye to the world.

The darkness consumed her as she sunk to the bottom of the tub with her eyes drifted shut. She felt light, in control and everything in between. Her hand slowly released the blade but ever the faithful companion, it didn't move from her relaxed palm. The world around her began to fade, as her cuts became only dull aches. She faintly felt the tub vibrate against her back and a repetitive banging but she didn't have the energy to process where it was coming from, nor did she particularly care.

With her lungs screaming for air, she felt content. She allowed the last breath she was holding to escape her lips through a small smile as she welcomed the darkness with open arms. Passed out at the bottom of a tub with her razor as her only lover, she was finally happy.

What a twisted world that we live in where a girl's lover can't even say 'I love you' back.

But in Gabriella's world, she was done with the lies and that's what made her happy in the end.

A/N: I thought I was well enough to write this story without feeling like I'm relapsing but it's because I love this story that I'm finishing it. Please bear with me if it takes me awhile to crank out a chapter. It's so easy for my emotions to flip on me and when I'm in one of my moods it affects almost everything I do. To offset the depression, I was considering reposting my story Amazed from like last spring.I cleaned up the storyline a bit and I have most of it planned out. It's not going to be posted right away but I was just wondering if anyone would be interested in reading it? The original summary is as follows, but is subject to be changed:

He was 22. She was 17. He has a kid. She's never been kissed. He revolved around his family. She lacked the feeling of a family. His life was complicated. Her life was predictable. They were nothing alike, but it's amazing how they just worked.

I actually hate the title so that might change but that's the basic concept and it wouldn't interfere with this story. Lol I'm a one-story-at-a-time type of girl.

Thank you for reading and please review!
Much Love,
Kae xx

Anonymous Review Reply:

to the unnamed review of the last chapter:I'm sorry I made you cry. Lol actually, I'm not. That honestly makes me a bit happy that the last chapter had such an affect on you. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well and it played with your emotions a bit =)