Chapter 10a: Echoes, Fara's Story
"Nng… d-darn it!" Fara nervously weaved in and out between a few asteroids and felt a rumble as her wing split against the side of one of the rocks. "N-no…!" She quivered a little in anguish and slammed her controls to the side, barely escaping the grip of the rocks. She looked back behind her quickly and groaned with the sight of sparks shooting off the split wing. She tilted the arwing to the side and began to feel sick, not noticing another asteroid just below her unbroken wing. By the time she noticed it, it was too late. The intact wing exploded off in a sparking blaze and tore off another small part of the ship's circuitry… it was all over. Fara pouted and clenched her eyes closed, unable to move until she smashed into a large asteroid and everything went a fiery white. She slowly opened her eyes, shaking, and sulked.
"I'm sorry, Miss Phoenix." A voice spoke to her firmly.
"Yeah, I know… I know." She staggered a bit and got to her feet slowly, letting the cockpit of the arwing open upward.
"I'm afraid-"
"Yeah! I know! Grr…" She cut the man off and growled, then jumped out of the arwing simulator with a hard clack of her shoes against the floor of the hangar-like room. "Uh… sorry to snap at you… sir."
"You're not the first of my students to be temperamental, Miss Phoenix… and I'm sure you'll improve." He lectured wisely. "But for now, I assume you know your grade… you are failing, Miss Phoenix. But I'm sure it can all be fixed with some practice, eh?"
"Practice…" She pouted again and walked off. "See you tomorrow, Mr. Rigs. Or later today, if this bad luck streak doesn't pass…"
"You'll improve, Fara. Just give it a little time and practice; you'll be an expert pilot in no time."
Fara sighed and left the building, shortly stunned by the change of brightness between the dark building and the room. She held up her hand to block the light and scraped her feet through the grass with a swishing noise. She groaned with the intensity of the light, shuffling her feet, and slowly began to adjust to the painful daylight. Soon after opening her eyes, she saw a familiar figure walking toward her. She gasped slightly and grinned, breaking into a small run.
"Fox!" She ran over and hugged him. "How are you? How was your day? You fly well?" She began to badger.
"Fara, calm down!" He sighed with a small hint of enjoyment and hugged back. "Well… I'm fine, it was okay, and I aced today's flying exam as usual. You?"
Fara's expression fell and she fidgeted with her fingers, her face melancholy. "I… I failed mine… again."
"Fara… have you been practicing?" Fox sighed unpleasantly and watched her scolding.
"Yeah, of course, but… I just can't get it. I keep trying, but…"
"But nothing, Far." He smiled a tiny bit and put his hand on her shoulder, slowly rubbing it. "Just… just keep trying."
"I want to help you, Fox… I want to help you be like your dad, but… what if I just can't do it?"
"You will…" He grunted quietly with frustration and pecked her on the cheek. "Just keep trying, like I said. You'll be a great pilot in no time."
She sighed angrily and dug her right foot into the grass, inhaling through her nose and exhaling forcefully out her mouth with a second sigh.
"That's what my teacher says… but what if you're both wrong? What if I never get any better? What if I fail you? And my teacher? And…"
"Stop, Fara." Fox took her by the hand and walked her off a ways, into a shady spot beside the main school building. "You will get better… whether you have to do it for me or you have to do it for yourself, you just need to focus!" He got a tiny bit angry, but managed to control himself. "Stop… worrying about yourself and do something about it."
"Well… I'm trying. I'm trying my hardest… but I just can't get it right… will you help me?" Fara frowned at first, but ended her question with an eager glance in Fox's direction, her arms around his back again.
Fox examined her face for a few seconds and slowly responded with a somewhat indifferent nod, both pleased and unsure.
"In whatever way I can… I'll make it all better."
"Ah…" Fara sighed and went into thought. "I don't want to ruin your dream, first of all. And I want to be with you there, too."
"Oh, Fara… I don't want you hurt, though… mercenary work is… dangerous. You know how I am about this…"
"Peh." She scoffed and smiled up at Fox, who stood a few inches taller than she did. "You know I can take that kind of stuff. I tell you now, I'll become a good pilot! No…" She straightened her back, trying to look as tall and impressive as possible. "I'll be a better pilot than you! And I'll prove that I can take care of myself."
"Oh, I don't doubt that, Far… but… it's still dangerous… I just wouldn't let myself do that to you."
Fara looked at him with a pleading sad expression and sighed, bitter. She threw back her long blond hair and looked away at the grass, silent. While she wanted to go and help him once she was out of school and training, she knew that he would disagree, no matter what she said or how long she tried to convince him. And it never would get better. Even at the end of her school days… when she in fact, had improved… though not much. And when Fox finally left to pursue his own work… her life turned. For the worse at the moment… but it would in time shape the path of her life. A fateful night, her final goodbye to the fox to which she desired to be faithful above all else.
"Fox…? Fox?" Fara walked about the school grounds in puzzlement. "Where did he go…?"
A few raindrops fell onto her hands and arms and she responded with a growl of disdain. Her fine red fox fur slowly began to be slightly saturated with moisture, which she did not in particular enjoy. She spotted Fox and yipped quietly with the satisfaction of finding her elusive boyfriend. She ran over to him and tapped him on the shoulder with a tiny girlish smile. He spun around with an ill expression, his face dark and filled with grimness. She suddenly froze and the look on her face fell. She watched him for a second, perplexed, and shivered a bit at his expression… along with at the rain, which began to pound down in sheets of rain onto the grounds.
"Fara… I can't stay." He closed his eyes and turned his head away.
"What d'you mean? You're… leaving? Well, of course you are." She began to feel the slightest bit relieved, but her hope was quickly silenced when she took a second glance at his cold face. "I mean-"
"No. I… I can't stay with you. That's what I mean."
Fara stared back at him and her eyes grew glassy. She immediately was hit with a bleak confusion, be it confusion or simply misunderstanding and despair. Her hands shook a bit and she raised them to her face, her lip quivering.
"What are you talking about, Fox? I… what did I do? Y-you said you loved me… this… you're leaving forever?"
"I know, Far… I'm sorry, but… this isn't about you. This about my future… I have things to do. And I can't…" He paused and searched for the words to say, but found nothing, instead trailing off into utter silence. While he knew exactly what he meant, he found no way to put it into words to say to her… no way that she would be able to understand easily. Be it that she wasn't qualified for the job or that he wanted her safe deep down in his heart, he knew that the two of them would have to separate after this day.
"You… can't… be with me. But why, Fox, why?" She sobbed a little and pointed her eyes to the ground. "We've been together for such a long time… and I know you loved me so much, but… why so sudden? Why… would you do something like this, Fox? I… I could tell that you… l-loved me… but… now you're going to leave me behind?"
"I don't want to have to, Fara, but…" He trailed off again and wrapped her in a sudden embrace, shivering from the rain. "I have to. Please understand!" He blinked and silenced a growl to himself, trying his hardest not to let his eyes tear up.
Fara sobbed and wiped her tears from her face. She wished she could understand it all… but she only understood that it was because she couldn't operate as well as a team member. She knew that she wasn't a great pilot, and that Fox couldn't take her with him. She also understood Fox's desires for her to be safe, but… why couldn't he keep her safe some other way? If she was on the team when the time came, she knew he would defend her. She loved him back… more than she'd ever loved anyone, and she didn't want to have to see him go. She cherished what she knew could possibly be her last moments with him for the rest of her life and held him against her, still crying.
"It'll be okay, Fara… you'll find someone else." He hurt on the inside almost as much as he did, but he tried to smile at her, to comfort her as best he could. "Please… don't cry any more."
She growled a bit in response and let go of him. She nearly stumbled on her feet as she walked backward a few steps as her feet sunk an inch or two into the wet ground. She wanted to, yes. She wanted to do as he desired, but she saw it coming since that moment. Fox was the greatest partner she'd ever known, though she'd only had one or two small friends she had cared for 'That way' at all in the past. She wanted to try, but she still knew that she would never be able to let him truly go.
"Go… please. I'll try my best." She wiped her tears again and covered her head with her hands from the rain.
"Here…" Fox took out a small carnation-like flower from his coat pocket. "I wanted to give this to you before I left…"
"Thanks… Fox." She took it solemnly and held it softly in her hand. "You… should get going."
Fox nodded and left quickly, trying his best to not look back. Fara stood in the rain as if waiting… taciturn. Her fingers suddenly quivered with a bit of anger and she dropped the flower onto the wet ground and then stomped on the tip of the stem, grinding it hard into the mud with a dark print.
"You just wait!" She called out to the sky. "I'll be the best pilot you've ever seen… and I'll come back for you! And when I do… you… you'll wish you'd never let me go… I'll learn to take care of myself. For you and for myself, Fox… I'll learn to be strong. For the both of us."
Her eyes finally opened to a world of shadow. She was in a daze, but she could tell that she was back in her own time. She held a trembling hand up to her eyes and wiped them, taking with her hands a disgusting mixture of sweat, tears, and blood from a cut on her forehead.
"O-oh my…" She suddenly remembered everything that happened. "Fox! Skye! E-everyone!" She grasped into her first aid kit and mended to the gash on her forehead as best she could, though the blood had been running down her cheek for at least ten minutes. She was thrown into a panic, but once her wounds had been treated, she calmed and began to breathe more slowly, frustrated with her efforts to soothe herself. "Okay… okay… let's see…"
She went silent and recounted slowly everything that had happened and bolted out of her ship shortly after. It was clearly in terrible condition and it did not take long before it was obvious to her that she had crashed deep within the planet. But which planet, she wondered? Her woozy eyes darted up and she saw nothing but dim caverns… a depressing type of place. The rocks were all crooked and speckled with a dark blue substance, and littered with sharp points and edges. Fara gulped loudly and swatted away more tears with her hands. She felt hopeless… it was a miracle that she survived. And it could only be more of a miracle for anyone else on the team to survive along with her. But she knew that it was her only choice.
"I can only hope…" She sobbed a bit in fear and spoke softly again to herself. "T-that Fox is alive, too… so I guess it's time to start believing in miracles." She sniffed softly and wiped her tears away again, boldly stepping forward and further into the heart of the planet. "I don't think I have any other choice… for… both of us." She looked down and pressed onward.