They're both quiet as they leave the doctor's office; Darcy supposes that's perfectly understandable after everything. The ultrasound keeps replaying in her head—hearing the baby's heartbeat as it filled the darkened room, seeing tiny arms and legs moving around wildly on the screen—and she can't seem to stop looking down at the grainy black and white profile image in her hand. Her emotions run the gamut, and she can't focus on any particular one long enough to know how she feels exactly.
Steve lays a hand on her shoulder, shaking her from her thoughts, and asks if she wants to take a walk to get some coffee. Darcy nods and gives him a tight smile, and follows him into the waiting elevator. She needs some time to process the appointment. Her biggest fears have been put to rest: the baby looks good and has a strong heartbeat, and, thank you Jesus, there is only one in there. Now, she has to buck up and handle her third biggest fear, telling Pepper. The second, of course, is letting her dad know he's going to be a grandpa, but Darcy feels justified in putting that on hold until after he and Pepper are married.
Darcy has no idea how she's going to break the news, and it, along with every other damn thing, weighs heavily on her. Everything that she's read online (and in the one pregnancy book that doesn't make her want to stab a bitch) says expectant mothers should be avoiding stress. There's gotta be a brochure or something in her plastic bag o' goodies from the doctor that states this, too. She's seriously considering hitting up Kinko's and making a fuckload of copies to hand out to people rather than having grownup conversations about it.
"Darcy," Steve says, looking at her expectantly from outside the elevator she has no recollection of seeing open. "Hey, where'd you go?"
She blinks and feels a frown tugging at her lips as she steps off after him. "Just—lost in my own head for a sec," Darcy admits, sighing as she digs around for her sunglasses in her purse. There's no point in keeping it from him; she's found that Steve's oddly perceptive. Plus, what he doesn't know, he has no qualms asking about. "Thinking about how to tell Pepper the big news today."
Steve holds the door open for her and pulls his own sunglasses out of his pocket. "I thought you were going to wait until after the wedding?"
"I was…I mean…that's still the plan for Tony, but I have the final dress fitting for the wedding later. Even if my dress fits, which it won't since I'm getting fat, she's Pepper Potts. You've met her—she'll just know." Darcy can't see Steve's eyes behind the mirrored lenses, but if the look of exasperation he gives her is any indication, she's pretty sure he just rolled them at her.
He smiles patiently at her and she manages to stop just short of feeling patronized. "You are not getting fat, Darcy. You're pregnant."
Darcy shoves at his arm and the corner of his mouth quirks up in amusement. "Thank you, Captain Obvious. I am aware. The dress still isn't gonna fit over my gigantic knockers." Steve chokes out a laugh, and tries—unsuccessfully—to mask it with a cough. "Well, it isn't!" Darcy laughs, shoving him again as they round the corner towards the coffee shop.
"How do you think Pepper will handle it?"
It's the same question she's asked herself a hundred times, though she hasn't landed on a good answer yet. "Better than my dad, that's for sure." Darcy manages an uneasy smile, and Steve grabs her hand in his and gives it a quick, reassuring squeeze. It's nice, really, the way he keeps doing that today.
He absently rubs his thumb over the back of her hand before he stiffens beside her, like he's just realized that maybe he shouldn't be holding her hand now that they're outside the doctor's office. Letting go, he pulls his hand away and scratches his jaw instead. Silence hangs over their heads like an impending thundercloud and it's awkward and discomforting. She misses the contact with him, the warmth of his skin pressed to hers. Everything is such a goddamn mess right now. There's all this weirdness between them and she can't even make her mind up over something as simple as holding his hand. The wind picks up, whipping her hair around her face and sending a shiver down her spine. Darcy hastily shoves her hair back behind her ears and hugs her arms around her middle.
"I think," she begins, breaking the silence as they get closer to the coffee shop, "Pepper will be concerned and probably want to move me into the Tower immediately. She and Dad are on the same page about the craphole building I live in."
"It's fine," Steve says automatically. Darcy doesn't miss that twitch in his jaw, though—the one she thinks means he's lying or purposely being a jerk to get a rise out of her. She stops in front of him, hands folded under her chest, and fixes him with an arched brow. "What?" he asks.
"For one thing, my apartment is the least of my worries right now, and another, my place is not that bad! You said you liked it."
"It's not that bad," he says evenly. "You made it look nice…colorful, at least."
Darcy snorts at his lack of sincerity. "Quit bein' a jerk." She pulls open the door of the coffee shop and takes a tentative sniff. For the first time in weeks, the scent of coffee doesn't turn her stomach. "I'm buying," she smiles, "and I don't want you to argue with me about it."
Steve grins back and tugs on her scarf. "Yes, ma'am."
They order and Darcy throws a stern look at him over her shoulder. "I was serious, Rogers, don't you dare reach for your wallet." Innocent, Steve holds his hands up and earns a pretty smile in return. Winning smiles from Darcy these days is quickly becoming his favorite thing, especially considering how often he unwittingly manages to say or do something to upset her. He's trying his best, but sometimes it doesn't feel like his best is good enough.
The uneasy tension between them from earlier in the day is gone. For now at least. Assurance from the doctor that the pregnancy is progressing normally, seeing their baby on the ultrasound, hearing the heartbeat, had gone a long way to calming them both. Even if he's still overwhelmed by everything, it's better right here and now. A small victory, but one he'll gladly take.
"Is this okay?" Darcy asks, pointing to a table in front of the window.
Steve gives a single nod. "Sure, wherever you wanna sit is fine."
Darcy sets her breakfast and bag on the table and drops down into the chair. Steve takes the seat across from her, leaning against the chair back. His eyes dart around the place before shifting his gaze to the window. For the second time that day, he finds himself drawn to watching a couple interact. This time, it's a young couple standing outside. The man has his arm draped casually around the woman's waist, hand palming her hip to draw her closer. He whispers something in her ear and rains playful kisses over her face. Her head falls back as she laughs and turns her body in towards his. Pushing up on her toes, she loops her arms around his neck and pulls him into a kiss. They share a knowing grin and whispered words before breaking apart, the woman reaching for the man's hand and linking their fingers together as they walk away.
There's a twist in his gut, a sharp spike that feels a lot like jealousy. He and Darcy are having a baby, but they couldn't be further from that couple outside or the family earlier in the waiting room.
"Steve," Darcy's voice registers, snapping his attention away from the glass and back to her. "I guess it's my turn to ask where you went off to."
His lips twitch over the role reversal and he spins the cardboard cup around in his hands, carefully considering his words. The truth would only upset the delicate balance between them and cause Darcy undue stress. He manages to do that enough already by accident; there's no way he's going to do it on purpose. There are other truths, too, things that keep him awake in the middle of the night while he tries to make heads or tails of them. It's best if he keeps it all to himself. For now at least. Darcy's burdened enough as it is and he refuses to compound that with all the shit swirling inside his head.
"Just thinkin' about the baby...the ultrasound," he says finally, setting down his coffee. It isn't a lie.
"Yeah. Me, too," she murmurs, shifting in her seat and reaching up to twist fingers around her scarf. Her eyes glance towards the window and she clears her throat. "Feels real now, doesn't it?"
For him, certainly. Before today, the pregnancy seemed little more than an idea. Everything became cemented in reality the moment he heard the rapid swoosh swoosh swoosh of their baby's heartbeat and saw little arms and legs moving on the screen. It surprises him a little that it's the same for Darcy since she's the one who's pregnant and experiencing the changes to her body. But what the hell does he know?
"Definitely," Steve replies. "Wanna hear a confession?" There's an almost imperceptible shrug of her shoulders as she worries her top lip between her teeth. He adds those to his mental list of ways she fidgets when she's nervous.
"Okay."
"I was kinda blown away by the whole thing. The ultrasound technology, I mean. You'd think with everything I've seen and experienced it wouldn't seem so...I don't know," he trails off, searching for the right word. "Almost like magic." He shrugs and a smile pulls at his lips thinking about it. "Pretty amazing stuff. I guess maybe that's silly," he finishes, looking at Darcy across the table.
Darcy's eyes start shining and Steve's seen that enough in the past couple weeks to know exactly what it means. Once again he's gone and made her cry. Sighing, he combs a hand through his hair and stares out the window.
"Hey," she says softly. He feels her hand on his arm and he drags his gaze back to hers. Her eyes are still damp and shiny, but there's a warm smile on her lips. "It's not silly, Steve. I was pretty blown away myself."
"Yeah?"
Darcy nods and rubs her hand reassuringly over his arm. "I know you think that you're the one making me cry all the time," she says after a beat.
"I—" He starts to dispute her claim, but it's true, after all. He blows out a breath instead. "How'd you know?"
"You have a look."
His brows shoot up towards his hairline. "I have a look?" he repeats.
Darcy's lips twist into a lopsided smile and she swipes at the fat tear rolling down her cheek. "You get this furrow between your brows." The way she's staring at the space between his eyes makes him hyper aware of the crease she's referring to; he forces his face to relax. "The hormones are making me cry right now, Steve," she continues. "Over everything. It's nothing you've said or done. For god's sake, I cried at a laundry commercial the other day."
The image of Darcy sitting on the couch watching TV and crying over an advertisement sneaks up on him and startles a laugh deep out of his chest. "Sorry," Steve apologizes, trying to tamp down the laughter.
"Dude, it's ridiculous!" Darcy giggles. "Totally okay to laugh about it. I did. Just—you're doing everything pretty damn right so far and I appreciate it. More than you know. If you could keep that in mind in say," she says, glancing at her watch, "ten minutes or so when I inevitably start up again, that would be really great."
"Thanks for saying that." That's a big load off his shoulders, hearing those words, and he feels some of the tension he's been carrying around leach out of his body. She squeezes his arm and gives him a reassuring smile.
"Sure," she says, slowly moving her hand back to her side of the table. "For the first time in weeks I'm able to stomach coffee and I am starving. The next round may be tears of joy after I demolish this bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich. Just sayin'."
Steve grins and picks up his coffee. "I think I can handle those. Glad you've got your appetite back."
"We'll see how long it lasts, but I'm not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth, ya know? I may poach that cheese Danish off your plate, too, if you're not careful," Darcy smirks, picking up her sandwich and taking a huge bite.
The way he sees it, she's pregnant. If she wants his Danish or any other thing in that bakery case, she can damn well have it. He's just relieved that she's feeling better and can eat something. Her eyes close and she lets out a long, appreciative groan while she chews. It shouldn't be attractive, watching her eat a sandwich; it really should not. But the way she tucks into it like it's the best thing she's ever tasted in her life, making the sounds she is (ones he's heard before under very different circumstances) and licking her fingers, he just can't help it. Steve gently clears his dry throat and takes another gulp of his coffee.
"Holy crap, this sandwich is so good!" Darcy exclaims, holding it out in front of his mouth. "Wanna try?" He shakes his head. "Suit yourself." Another bite, another moan of appreciation, and Steve's torn between wanting her to hurry up and finish eating and going up and ordering her another one.
Christ, he needs to get a grip. He's somehow managed to go from broody to turned on in no time flat and the abrupt change is enough to make a man dizzy.
"Tell me something," Darcy says after a bit, wiping her hands on a white paper napkin
His eyebrow quirks up as he considers her from his seat across the table. "What kind of somethin'?"
She smiles over the rim of her paper cup and takes a sip. "How about a joke?"
It's unexpected and he barks out a laugh. "You want me to tell you a joke?"
"Yes," Darcy draws out. "That's what I said. C'mon, Steve. I need to keep this tear-free, happy mood rolling. Bolster my spirits before I have to tell Pepper she's going to be a grandma before she even gets to be a wife."
Steve chuckles again and thinks for a moment. "Okay. A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you.' The grasshopper looks at him and says, 'Really, you have a drink named Bill?'"
Darcy shakes her head, fighting a smile on her lips. "That was the lamest thing I've ever heard."
"Yeah? Is that why you're trying not to laugh? You tell me a joke, then."
"Alright. What do you call a cow with no legs?" Darcy asks.
"What?"
"Ground beef."
A grin cracks across his face. "That wasn't any better than mine. How does a Frenchman hold his liquor?"
"How?" Darcy asks.
"By their ears," Steve deadpans. He expects a chuckle at least, but all he gets in return is a confused look as Darcy's brows crease together.
"I don't get it," she tells him, face blank.
"Really?" he asks, surprised. "It's…" his voice trails off, and he's suddenly a little uncomfortable having to explain this joke to her. Steve shifts closer and lowers his voice. "It's not alcohol, it's…well, it's when a woman, or man, licks…" Steve lets out a frustrated sigh and says, "It's a blowjob, Darcy." His voice is louder than intended, carrying crystal clear throughout the joint. Several heads turn to stare at him.
Darcy bursts out laughing, clapping her hands over her mouth. "Oh my God!" she cries. "I knew what it was the whole time, I just wanted to see if you'd explain an oral sex joke in the middle of a coffee shop. And you did!" She throws her head back and lets out another hearty laugh that's a breath away from cackling, in his opinion. "You really did it! Amazing!"
He wads up his napkin and throws it at her face. "You brat," Steve chuckles. Darcy giggles some more, until her shoulders shake with it and she goes silent, eyes glimmering with tears, a bright smile on her lips. It's the freest he's seen her since Texas and a welcome sight. There's something about her laugh, so big and vibrant, that reaches through him to work at the knot that settled in his chest somewhere around the time she first said the word pregnant. "Are you done laughing at me now?"
Darcy shakes her head. "Not even close, buddy!"