Happy New Year! Sorry for the wait, the holiday season can get kinda crazy. Hope this one is worth the wait, it's a little longer than previous chapters.

Disclaimer: I (still) do not own M*A*S*H or any of the affiliated characters.

Chapter 3: The Bathrobe Brigade

"Really?" Henry exclaimed as Hawkeye and Trapper walked into his office the next morning, clad in red and yellow bathrobes. He didn't think Andrea would mind from the way she had reacted to his scotch, but there was no denying it was inappropriate.

"Some days it's just not worth it to chew through the restraints," Hawkeye explained with a yawn. He plopped into the chair over by the window.

"And you didn't even give us time for breakfast," Trapper complained, referring to the martinis he and Hawk didn't get to drink. "So, what's the new guy like? Tall? Scary? Mean?"

"Just tell me he's not Frank," Hawkeye pleaded.

Henry smiled inwardly. He had planned on telling them that the surgeon was female, but maybe he'd keep that piece of information to himself now. He saw Radar walk in then with Andrea, both of them laughing. Hawkeye and Trapper were too busy talking to each other to notice.

"I can see him now," Trapper was saying, "Six feet tall...bright green eyes...auburn hair..."

"I think I'm in love," Hawkeye sighed, staring off into space.

"Actually," Henry said, snapping both surgeons out of their reveries, "he is not like Frank because he is a she." From behind them, Andrea cleared her throat. The two doctors turned and stared at her for a second. She stared right back.

Hawkeye was the first to comment. "You are a she."

"And you are wearing a bathrobe," she replied. She waited for another gender comment, but none came. Again, the company at the 4077th made her smile.

Only a few people she had met in the army didn't mind that she was a female surgeon. Her Colonel didn't, but even some of her superiors did. They grudgingly let her operate because it was the Colonel's orders, and she was pretty good about not killing anyone.

"Lieutenant Andrea Lennox, these are my best surgeons, Captain Pierce and Captain McIntyre," Henry explained, pointing to each in turn.

"Hawkeye," the dark-haired one said, shaking her hand. She remembered what Radar had told her the night before.

She then shook hands with the one in the yellow robe. "Trapper."

"Andi," she replied.

"Pierce, McIntyre, show the Lieutenant around so she isn't lost when a surge comes in," Henry dismissed them.

With a brightly robed doctor on either side of her, Andi got the grand tour of the camp.

"That's the mess hall," Hawkeye said. "You don't have to eat anything; the chef won't be insulted."

"It's a good idea to have the Father bless you if you do," Trapper said as Father Mulcahy and Klinger approached them.

"Hello, Father," Hawkeye greeted. "Klinger, beautiful as always." Today the Corporal was wearing a purple sundress with white heels, but he waved away the comment. "Father, Klinger, this is Lieutenant Andrea Lennox, the surgeon while Frank is on leave. Andi, meet Father Mulcahy and Corporal Maxwell Klinger."

"Why is he wearing a dress?" she asked when both groups went their separate ways.

Trapper shrugged. "Wasn't a skirt day."

"Section eight," Hawkeye explained simply.

Andi knew the idea, and wondered if a man dressing each day as a woman was why they didn't seem to care about her being a surgeon. "And how's that working for him?"

Hawkeye shrugged. "Hasn't gotten him too far. I think he keeps doing it because he likes it."

"If it ever does though, you can count on the rest of the camp emerging in heels and girdles," Trapper commented. Andi wasn't surprised by how serious he was.

"So, I'm filling in for Burns?" she asked for clarification.

Hawkeye nodded. "And we love you for it."

"Yes, Major Frank Burns," Trapper said.

"He's a major?" Andi asked, incredulous.

"I know, it surprises us too," Hawkeye said sincerely.

Andi blinked at the two. "I'm filling in for a major?"

"Trust me," Trapper said, "his shoes aren't that big."

Hawkeye turned to her. "Can you use a scalpel?"

"Yes," she replied, a little taken aback by the question.

"Then you've got nothing to worry about."

"You'll be a favorite in no time," Trapper added.

They walked on, getting closer to a large building that Andi saw was the O.R. "You guys don't really like Major Burns, do you?"

Hawkeye mocked minor disappointment. "Is it that obvious?"

"Consider yourself lucky if you never have to meet him," Trapper said.

They were a few feet away from the O.R. when the door to the building next to them, the post-op ward, opened to reveal a man backing out of the exit.

"Apparently, luck isn't on our side today," Hawkeye said under his breath to Andi. "Hello, Frank." Andi noticed a sudden gleam in both surgeons' eyes.

The major turned and placed his hands on his hips. "You two! What else? I just want my leave!"

Trapper innocently held up his hands. "Believe me, we're not stopping you."

"I'd gladly pack your suitcase and get your car," Hawkeye offered.

"Well," Frank said, getting a haughty look on his face, "I've been alone in there all morning-"

"Always dangerous," Hawkeye interrupted.

Trapper nodded. "We should probably check on them."

"-while you two," Frank continued, his face turning a little redder, "parade around with no clothes on! Where's your uniform? Where's your dignity, soldier?"

"They beat feet outta here as soon as they could," Trapper mumbled. "Wish I could have joined them."

"Frank, my dear, we don't give a damn anyway," Hawkeye added.

As much as Andi liked Hawkeye and Trapper, she was feeling some sympathy for the blue-eyed surgeon.

"And we're not parading, Frank," Trapper explained as if the major was a small child. "We're touring."

"Frank, meet Lieutenant Andrea Lennox. She's your replacement while you galavant around Tokyo," Hawkeye said. Andi saluted.

"My replacement?" Frank asked. "A woman?"

She let her hand drop. There it was: the comment she had been waiting for. She was used to it, but in this base with all these men who overlooked her gender, she actually found herself surprised. She didn't say anything, but shot Frank an icy glare.

"Very good, Frank," Hawkeye said. "Did Major Houlihan teach you how to tell?"

"We give you an A for observation; F for class," Trapper added.

Hawkeye chanced a look at Andi to see what her reaction was. He nearly did a double-take when he saw the daggers she was shooting Frank. The major caught the look and shrunk back himself, hesitating for a moment while he thought of how to explain himself.

"It's just that...Men are surgeons. Women are nurses."

Trapper looked up in confusion. "Then what are you doing here?"

Frank took the opportunity to glare at him, grateful to be away from the death stare he was still receiving from Andi.

"Look, Bub, I didn't come here to be insulted."

"Oh?" Hawkeye said, mildly amused. "Where do you usually go?"

"Can you give them our cards?" Trapper asked.

"We're looking for extra employment. Twenty-eight hours in the O.R. just isn't enough for us."

"We're going for a new world record."

"Something Nobel Prize worthy."

The mischievous grins seemed to grow brighter. If this was how they acted all the time, Andi knew she would like the 4077th.

"I'm leaving," Frank declared as he stepped past them.

"Goodbye, Frank!"

The major turned and shot a look their way.

"Does everyone hate him?" Andi asked when he was out of ear shot.

Trapper held the door open for her. "Only his guts."

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