Not much feedback from the last chapter, so I'm going ahead as planned. Bit of a filler here, but hope you enjoy it anyway!
Disclaimer: I still do not own M*A*S*H
Chapter 5: Getting to Know You
Three hours later, Colonel Blake was passed out on his bed and Andi was walking between Trapper and Hawkeye. Finding her adrenaline rush finally diminished, all she wanted to do was sleep. As they walked, Andi was accidentally drifting sideways. No one noticed until she banged into Hawkeye.
"Easy there," he said, putting an arm around her waist to steady her. "Trap, I think someone needs a pick-me-up. And I mean that literally. Her feet are dragging."
The two helped her into the Swamp, and she gratefully collapsed onto Frank's empty bed.
"You know, I do about a week's worth of surgery at the 58th in a day here," she said, accepting her drink from Trapper.
"Welcome to the front line," Hawkeye replied.
"Where the weak are killed and eaten," Trapper said.
"You'll get used to it after a while," Hawkeye added. "But in the mean time, we won't let anything get you."
Grateful for her two allies, Andi finished her drink and felt a little bit better. It was still early, so she sat on Frank's bed while Hawkeye and Tapper talked more about anything and everything; people, procedures, foods to avoid.
"Klinger knows his duty, but he's notorious for trying to sneak out. You'd be surprised by how well he runs in heels," Hawk said. Trapper nodded.
"Ya know," Trapper said, "one time we almost diffused a bomb."
"Almost?" Andi asked. They nodded. "And you're still here...?"
"Well, it wasn't an actual bomb," Hawkeye explained, his gloom gone. "It was filled with papers with MacArthur's terms for surrender."
"It was a CIA paper bomb," Trapper said. "To this day, we still don't know what's worse: The CIA's ability to give directions, or Henry's ability to read them."
"You guys get bombed?" Andi asked. The two nodded. "A lot?"
"Often enough," Hawkeye said, though both hurried to change the subject, seeing Andi's obvious discomfort at the thought of the camp blowing up.
Hawkeye piped up, "Whatever you do, don't eat the sausage. It's so far gone, it doesn't even know what it's made of."
"Aw, come on, Hawk. You've only gotten sick off it once."
"That's because I've only eaten it once!" he defended.
They bickered, while Andi thought. "Hawkeye?" she asked.
"Yes, dear?"
"Your name. Last of the Mohicans?"
"Ding-ding-ding! Gold star for the new girl!" Hawkeye joked. "Yeah, my father was obsessed with that book. Only one he ever read. He was more of a 'wait for the movie' kind of guy."
"You keep in touch with him?" she asked. It was strange and comforting that, in two days, Andi had gotten to know the men at the 4077th better than she knew the men at the 58th after 5 months. She'd never had these conversations with them, and found it pleasant.
He shrugged. "Sometimes. Lately more than usual, but Trapper's family is much more interesting. They send pictures."
"Pictures! Well, aren't you special?" she joked.
Trapper smiled and explained. "My daughters like to draw. Which reminds me; this one is recent." He rummaged through some papers on the desk and pulled out a small photograph and a folded paper. He handed the picture to Andi. "That's Becky and Kathy," he said, pointing to them. He unfolded the other paper. "And stick figures are their specialty. I forgot to show you, Hawk. It's of us."
Hawkeye and Andi looked at the drawing. "I think it bears a great likeness to me."
"Yes, it's that slim figure of yours," Andi commented.
Hawkeye fluttered his eyes lashes, then looked over the picture again and furrowed his eyebrows. "Why are we holding hands?"
"I think it's supposed to be a high-five."
"Aha," Hawk mumbled, but he returned the picture with a sincere smile.
"These are my kids," Andi said, pulling her own photo out of her chest pocket.
Trapper looked up in surprise. She looked too young, and to be a surgeon in the army? "You have kids?"
"You're married?" Hawkeye asked, an strangely upsetting weight of surprise settling inside of him.
"No and no. Well, sort of to the first. I'm not married, and these are my sister's kids, Lily and William. They're almost mine. I spend enough time with them."
Hawkeye joined Trapper in looking at Andi's niece and nephew, but couldn't help the feeling of that weight suddenly disappearing when he learned Andi wasn't married. He wasn't sure about it, so he pushed it to the back of his mind.
Andi walked into the mess tent the following morning, feeling much more refreshed than she had the night before. She got in line with everyone else, and after receiving her food, looked around the crowded tent, trying to find a place to sit. With relief, she saw Hawkeye beckoning her and sat at the table with him and Trapper.
"No sausage. Good girl," he commented. She smiled and sipped her coffee - only to immediately spit it back into the mug.
"I've never seen anyone turn that green that fast," Trapper commented.
Andi looked like she just sucked on a lemon. "That is not coffee."
Hawkeye sniffed it. "That's because it's decaf! No one drinks the decaf, so they don't try to make it good." He held out his mug for her. "I call it Revolutionary Tar."
"Name fits. No thanks," she added to Hawkeye's coffee offer. "I don't drink regular."
Hawkeye blinked at her a few times. "I'm sorry, you what?"
"I don't drink regular?" she repeated unsurely, eyeing both men suspiciously.
"How did you survive med school?" Trapper exclaimed.
"Forget med school!" Hawkeye said, looking at her with wide eyes. "How do you live?"
"I don't like how regular tastes, and I get some sort of buzz from the decaf. I'd be fine with just water, but I might need something stronger if we have another day like yesterday."
"No, seriously, how did you survive med school? Are you a robot or something?" Trapper asked.
She shook her head, not really paying attention to either of them as she investigated the food on her plate. "I studied psychology in college, and then discovered how much I liked anatomy, so I took all those classes after I graduated. I never got sucked into the coffee-crutch life style."
It took her a minute to realize that she had never told anyone in the army that fact about her. Then it took another moment before she became aware that the captains were staring at her.
"So you are a robot!" Trapper deduced.
Hawkeye continued to stare at her with a new found respect. He tried to think about never drinking coffee again, and found himself feeling as if his stomach had just risen to his chest.
Thankfully, Andi only had two hours of surgery that day. Hawkeye explained that, even as close as they were to the front, it was unusual to have an inflow like that two days in a row. They could expect another in a few days.
Mid-afternoon, Andi was walking down by the tall grass. She had discovered the place she was headed to that morning. There was a large, tall tree with its branches spread wide in a protective manner. She could sit at its base in silence and relax, and from that morning, found she could hear the helicopters very well in case there was a casualty. She always found that clearing her head was the best way to keep her sanity.
She wasn't in dire need of stress relief when she headed to the tree. She just needed something to do, and could almost see the top branches over the upcoming hill. Her mind drifted until she found Klinger, sitting on a blanket with a book.
"Hello, Lieutenant," he greeted with a smile, as if a man in a dress reading a book on a blanket in a field during a war was absolutely natural. But Andi didn't question it; for Klinger, that could be normal. She waved and continued on her way.
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