Chapter 5
JamesJames's arm was falling asleep, but he didn't want to move it and risk waking up Kristy. While he was contemplating, Abby flew through the open window and landed on the arm of the couch. With his free hand James took the letter. Abby flew away as he wrestled to free his right arm. When it was free he tore the envelope open, and began to read the letter. He skimmed the letter only pausing when he read the last sentence, Saturday I have a date with the most wonderful guy…. James re-read the sentence over and over again. He didn't like the nauseating feeling that had crept up into his stomach. He didn't know the guy, but he had already created a hatred for him. James continued reading the last bit of the letter; Sirius and Natalie might join us for a double date. James left the living room and took the letter to his bedroom. He placed it underneath all the other letters in his drawer. He then sat on his bed; he was in a kind of shocked state of mind. He had always taken Lily's single life for granted; now that she was taken he knew he didn't like it. He didn't want to, but he knew that he had to let her go. No, I wont. He argued with himself. He jumped when he saw Sirius standing in the doorway, "Wh-what are you doing here?"
Sirius smiled, " I just got back from my date with Natalie."
James rolled his eyes, he wasn't in the mood for this, " and how did that go?"
"Brilliant." Sirius came into the room, shutting the door behind him so they wouldn't wake Kristy. There was no wrath like Kristy's when she was woken up.
"Great." James said sarcastically.
Sirius's face fell, "Something's wrong."
James nodded, " Lily's got a boyfriend." He spat.
Sirius leaned against the wall, " James, we've been over this hundreds of times."
James knew Sirius was fed up but he didn't quite understand, " Padfoot, I can't forget her, I cant. I've tried, you know that."
Sirius nodded, he knew. He was with James every step of the way; he suspected James would love her till he died, " Give up James."
The words were hard to hear, but it was the truth, " one more chance. Please."
Sirius banged his head on the wall and sighed, " What's the plan?"
James beamed.
"We have a plan?" Remus asked surprised as he opened the door.
"What are you doing?" James asked.
"I was over at Sirius's looking for him, and when I didn't find him I thought I'd check by here." Remus explained closing the door, "So why do we have a plan?"
Sirius smiled, "It's James's last attempt to get Lily."
Remus gave James a disbelieving look, "Not again." He groaned.
James snatched his wand from his back pocket and threw a hex at Remus. It hit him in the leg, "Ouch!" Remus drew his wand but stopped when the door opened for a third time. Kristy came in rubbing her eyes, " Jamie." She whispered.
Sirius groan and hit his head against the wall again. Remus smiled at her weakly.
James sighed and got up. He turned her around and shut the door behind him. As he walked away with her, he could hear Remus and Sirius dueling. James put his hand on the back of Kristy and maneuvered her around the furniture; he laid her back down and covered her up with a blanket. Her eyes were drooping, so it was only a matter of time before he could return to his room. He sat on the end of the couch by her feet. When he knew she was back asleep he got back up and headed for his room. When he opened the door a blue light whizzed past his head, "Hey!"
The two grown men stopped and laughed. "Sorry mate." Remus said.
"James if I wake up in the middle of the night, will you be there to put me back to bed?" Sirius mocked Kristy's girlish tone. Remus couldn't hold his laugh back as Sirius batted his eyes. "Shut up." James spat sitting on his bed.
"So explain to me why you want Lily when you have Kristy in the other room?" Remus asked. He knew this couldn't be good.
"Because Moony, he's in love." Sirius said the word in the girly voice again, which scared James tremendously.
"Listen James, you know what you're doing is called cheating." Remus stated the obvious.
James rolled on his back and closed his eyes, " I know, I know."
"So what's the plan?" Sirius asked.
Remus gave him the disbelieving look.
"What?" Sirius asked innocently, " You know I don't like Kristy."
James pinched the bridge between his eyes, "Yes, yes. We all know."
"Nobody cares what you think. You have nothing to do with their relationship." Remus argued.
"Ah, but I do have something to do with Lily and James." Sirius had a mischievous grin on his face.
James sprang up, "What?"
"I happen to be dating Lily's other best friend, Natalie." Sirius seemed pleased with himself.
"Oh god." Remus put his hand on his forehead.
"Listen." James jumped off the bed and ran to his dresser, he pulled out the letter, " Lily mentioned that you guys might double date."
"Ok…so what you want me to spy for you or something?" Sirius wasn't quite sure where this was going.
"No. I want to be there." James stated.
"What?"
"What if that night you say that you had plans to go out with me and Kristy and that they could come along if they wanted." James suggested.
"Ok? How does that help you any?" Remus asked still slightly confused.
"Well, I want to be there to make sure he keeps his hands to himself."
"You want to be there to ruin the date." Sirius clarified.
"Well…yeah." James confessed.
Remus shook his head, " This is going to bad, this is going to be real bad."
Somewhat reluctantly Remus joined in on helping with the plan to ruin the date.
LilyLily woke to someone shaking her. Unwillingly she opened her eyes. She jumped when she saw Natalie's face so close to hers, "What's going on?" Her voice was heavy with sleep.
"Nothing, other than the fact that I just finished the most incredible date of my life!" Natalie was glowing.
Lily slowly sat up, Natalie sat across from her on the coffee table, "So how was it?" Lily scratched her head.
"Ahh, it was so good." Natalie busted into detail about the date. When she finished all Lily could think of to say was, "I'm happy for you." Lily smiled her best smile.
Natalie thanked her, " how was your evening?"
Lily looked around her, " You're looking at it."
Natalie nodded, "looks exciting."
Lily laughed, " I suppose so."
"Well, what all did you do?" Natalie got up from the coffee table and took off her scarf and coat.
"Nothing really, I read a little and watch tv a little and wrote to James." Lily was hoping Natalie wouldn't pick up on the last part, but she did.
"What did you write about?" Natalie returned with a concerned look on her face.
" Not much, a little of everything."
"Mark?"
"Yeah."
Natalie sighed, " I know it hurts, but it'll get better. It's like a bruise, its got to get worse before it gets better."
Lily nodded; she tried not to let Natalie see the tears forming in her eyes, " You staying tonight?"
"If its ok?"
Lily nodded again and got up to get a blanket and pillow.
When Lily opened the closet the blankets spilled on the floor. Lily bent down to pick them up and found the box she had hidden there. It was marked, School. But really it was all of her and James. After graduation she had packed everything from school, mostly pictures and little notes, into this box. Along with everything James had given her or that reminded her of him. She thought it best to put them away and try to move on, it helped. Lily pushed the box back further and placed every blanket except one back on the shelf. She closed the closet door and handed the pillow and blanket to Natalie before leaving to get ready for bed.
"Are we doing that double date thing?" Lily asked the next day when Natalie appeared in her doorway after work.
"I asked Sirius and he said he's like to." Natalie responded.
"I'll run the idea by Mark." Lily said. Natalie nodded and left.
Lily wrote the idea to Mark and had Abby take it to him. When Abby returned she had his reply.
Saturday"Lils? Lily?" Natalie yelled.
"I'm almost ready!" Lily yelled back. Lily ran to her wall length mirror. She looked ok; she wore a simple black dress. She like the way it made her look sophisticated. She wore her hair up, but then thought against it and pulled it back down. She wore little make-up, only enough to enhance what she already had.
"Lily!"
Lily stumbled out of her room, trying to put on her high heels, " I'm coming!"
When she got them on she straightened out the bottom of her dress which came down to just above her knee, "How do I look."
"Lovely. Now can we go? We were supposed to meet them thirty minutes ago." Natalie gestured to the door.
"Yes, yes alright. Wait! Hold on I forgot something!" Lily ran, as fast as she could, back to her room. Natalie threw her arms down in frustration. Lily sprayed herself with her perfume. Then ran back to the living room where Natalie waited with the door open.
Lily snatched her purse from the couch on their way out the door.
The restaurant6:35. They were supposed to be here already. James was starting to get nervous. He began to mess with his napkin.
"Jamie?" Kristy's voice rang out, "Are you ok?"
"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine." He quit and placed his hands in his lap.
Sirius who was on his right side leaned over, " I don't mean to be mean, but could you please stop! You're making me nervous." Sirius harsh tone was barely above a whisper.
"Sorry," James sighed.
James looked to his left and smiled at Kristy who smiled in return.
James looked down and tried to calm his nerves. He looked up and did a double take. Lily had just walked in with Natalie and some guy who he imagined was Mark.
She's so pretty. He thought he stood up when they came over, Sirius must of heard his thought because he elbowed him and smiled. When Lily approached the table, he could tell she wasn't expecting him to be there. Her eyes got big and she had a look of shock on her face. But soon the look was replaced with a huge smile and she came around the table to hug him. He couldn't help the smile that took over his face, or the warmth that soon came over him, "Hey Lily."
"Hey yourself." She joked.
She then turned to hug Sirius, she nodded at Kristy and said hello. She introduced Mark, Natalie sat down in front of Sirius, Mark sat down in front of Kristy, which Lily thought was a little suspicious, the only seat left was in front of James.
The lights of the restaurant were dimmed; they had candles on the three tables that were pushed together to make room for everyone. There was small talk that was going on, but all James seemed able to do was stare at Lily. She must have noticed because she smiled and he thought he could see her blush in the candlelight. He loved the way the candlelight made her look; there was a faint glow around her face, and even though it was dark he could make out the red of her hair. Her green eyes shone brightly, and a couple of times he was mesmerized by them. James couldn't help but feel a twinge of anger when Mark stole her attention, but every now and then they'd make eye contact and all his feelings for her would come rushing back.
Kristy was babbling in his ear, but James didn't hear a word of it. His attention was on Lily, who was engrossed in a conversation with Mark. He watched her smile and listen intently and he couldn't help the jealous feeling that began to take over. He put his fork down and quit eating, the feeling made him sick to his stomach. James adverted his attention to Kristy every once in a while to make her think he was listening to every word.
Lily was leaned over towards Mark; their faces were inches apart. James's hands, which were on the table, closed into fists.
Sirius noticed this, "James! Calm down!" He hissed.
James relaxed his fists but his jaw was still tightened.
"Hon, why don't we go out for some fresh air?" James voice was harsh, but Kristy got up and followed him out.
Once they were outside James pulled her over to a bench and sat down.
Kristy got up and walked over in front of him, leaning on the railing, " Baby, what's wrong?" When he didn't answer Kristy walked over and knelt in front of him, " Baby, you don't look so good." She put her hand on his forehead, then both his cheeks. "Honey I think we need to get you home." James agreed, he just wanted to get out of there.
Kristy walked back inside to get her purse and say goodbye to the others. Sirius came out and looked around until he saw James.
"What happened in there?"
James couldn't say anything, he just shook his head.
"Listen mate, I know that's not exactly what you wanted to see in there, but she's happy. Doesn't she deserve that?"
James still didn't answer.
"So I guess the plan is off?"
James simply nodded; he was oozing with rage right now. All he wanted was to be by himself.
"Listen, don't do anything stupid tonight. Ok?"
James nodded again and Sirius hit him on the shoulder and went back inside.
"Bye Sirius!" Kristy said with her bubbly personality. Sirius simply waved before going back inside.
"Ok, you ready?" Kristy asked as she approached him.
"Yeah." James whispered.
JamesJames unlocked his door and stepped inside.
"What are we going to do tonight?"
"Kristy, actually I'm really tired and I just want to go to bed."
Kristy looked a little hurt but she kissed him on the cheek before leaving.
When she was gone James dragged himself to his room. He sat on his bed and stared at the floor. This was it. Tonight was the night he finally let go. He waved his wand and the CD player played a sad slow song. He dimmed the lights and took out all her letters, photos, and little things that reminded him of her. He sat in the floor, leaning his back on his bed, a bottle of Fire Whiskey next to him and everything spread out on the floor. He went through everything, one piece at a time. The pain that resided in him was beginning to get unbearable, so much so that tears began to brim his eyes. He let his mind wonder to the memories of what it was like between them and even let his mind think of what could have been. He took a swig from the bottle and sat it back down again. James was never the kind to let his feelings show, he was supposed to be strong, he was supposed to be able to handle anything. He was an Auror for god's sake!
When the song had played for the hundredth time, and the only thing left in the bottle was a single drop, James packed everything up and placed it at the back of his closet. He covered the box so it wasn't visible. He then crashed on his bed, and though he would never admit it, he cried.
LilyLily looked up to see James storm off. She turned to Natalie who shrugged her shoulders, and then to Sirius who had a grave look on his face. Sirius said something to Natalie and left. Lily turned to Mark, "Excuse us for a second."
She pulled Natalie to the bathroom. Once they were safely inside she looked at Natalie, " What was that about?"
"I have no idea. I think it was Kristy." Natalie honestly didn't know. That was the only solution she could think of.
"No," Lily thought, " There was something else. You know James, he wouldn't make a scene like that over nothing."
"Did you say anything?" Natalie questioned.
"No! Did you?"
"No."
They stood there for a moment, "We'd better go back, Mark's by himself."
Natalie followed Lily back to the table.
Sirius returned and they all went back to what they were doing.
Lily and Mark were in their own little world for a minute, until Sirius's voice came in, "You guys ready?"
They paid for their meals and left.
Lily thanked Mark and went home, with her heart a little confused.
Natalie and Sirius"Sirius, What happened?" Natalie asked once she was in his car. Sirius had one to be inconspicuous to his muggle neighbors.
Sirius started the engine, " Nothing."
"Please tell me." She pleaded.
"I can't." He pulled out of the parking spot and got on the main road.
"Please…" She begged.
" I really can't." He would do that to James.
"James likes Lily doesn't he?" She asked.
"Wh-what? N-no. no." He stumbled around with his words.
"Aww, he does!" Natalie smiled.
"You can't say anything." Sirius sighed, giving up.
"Lily likes him too." She replied.
"I thought as much, but it's too late." Sirius said, his face free of expression.
"What? What do you mean?" Natalie turned so her back was more towards the car door.
"James is going to ask Kristy to marry him." She could tell he wasn't happy about it.
"Why?" Natalie had only met that girl but she didn't like her, it could've been that the girl was annoying. Or it could've been the fact that Lily was her best friend who just happened to like the girls' boyfriend.
"Exactly what I asked, but he swears he loves her." Sirius snorted.
"We've got to stop this and say something." Natalie couldn't let Lily find out about this, she knew it would kill her. No matter how much she liked Mark.
"We can't!" Sirius's tone was harsh.
"Why the hell not?" Natalie snapped.
"Because one, it isn't our place. Two, maybe James is really in love with her, and Three you aren't supposed to know about this anyway, but more importantly he made me swear never to tell."
"Sirius, I hardly think the pinky swear counts when your best friend and my best friend could ruin their lives."
"We can't! Now promise me you wont say anything!" She could tell he was serious and that there had to be more to the story than he was letting on. Reluctantly she agreed.