A/N: 2 updates in 2 days. Wow... I'm pretty impressed with myself! Unfortunately, I'm not really thrilled with where this one ended up going. I never write with an outline. So when things happen in my writing, it's because that is where the story takes me. Just because it took me here, doesn't mean I have to like it. sigh Please read and review. If you don't like it, I'll let you in on my alterative story line. If you like it, well, then, good. Here we go.
Chapter 12
They drove the Impala back to the diner from earlier in the day. Neither of them spoke, both lost in their thoughts. Dean let out a sigh, "I really wish you didn't have to leave tomorrow. Can't you stay? Just for a few more days?" He knew what he was asking. He knew Cas coudn't stay. This "thing" between them was too new for Cas to uproot his life and stay in town. "You know I can't, Dean. It'll only postpone the inevitable." He grabbed Dean's hand that sat between them, and squeezed. "We don't even know what "this" is. What if I stay, and "this" doesn't happen? No," he nodded, looking determined. "I have to leave."
Dean pressed his lips together in a thin line, and nodded. Just because they wanted a relationship, didn't mean that they had one. Right now, it was two people getting to know one another in between sexual encounters. No, it wasn't a relationship. Definitely nothing worth changing one's life for.
They arrived at the diner in silence. Both men sat, staring at the building when they arrived, not exiting the car, hands still clasped together. This time it was Cas' stomach that made them move. "We'd better go inside and get some food," Cas said mournfully. "Yeah, we'd better," replied Dean, just as mournfully. They got out of the car and walked into the diner hand in hand, making their way towards the back. As they sat down, the waitress came to the table. "What can I get you gentlemen? Dean looked at her through squinted eyes. "We need a minute," he said gruffly. She smiled tightly and walked away, saying "Don't get your panties in a bunch. I'll be back in a minute, then."
Cas looked at Dean questioningly. "What the matter?" Dean looked angry, or maybe it was hurt, Cas couldn't really tell, but the other man just shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing at all. Let's just order something, okay?" He grabbed the menu a little to forcefully and Cas noticed. "Dean, please. I can tell something is wrong. Tell me?" He put his hand on top of Dean's. The green eyed man looked down at their hands, face softening. "It's just... " Cas could tell Dean was struggling. "Go on, please. Tell me." Dean sighed. "I want so much to have something with you, Cas. You make me," he swallowed hard. "Uhm, feel...things. Things that I've never felt before. I know that this is really new, like a few days and all, but," he heaved another sigh, still not looking at the blued eyed man across from him. "But, I really, uh, I really like you Cas." He glanced up at Cas, who was smiling gently. "I like you too, Dean. But we have to be practical here. Really, we don't know each other. Hardly at all. And I want to know you better. Believe me, I do. From that first moment we met, at the bar? I felt it, the connection? Like we'd known each other for a long time. Like I'd been looking for you all this time. And now I've finally found you." He frowned, looking down at the able. "I don't want to go. But, I have too. If this meant to be, then it'll happen. Even if we're fifty miles away from each other." He was nodding his head, his own words trying to convince himself that things could work out. Cas looked back up to look Dean in the eye. "We've done things out of order, here. So now, we have to get to know each other. Like, actually talk to each other. Maybe distance will help us with that. Since you obviously don't know how to keep you hands to yourself." He smirked, which made Dean smile. "Yeah, okay. I guess you're right. I'm not very good at this whole relationship stuff. But, yeah. Distance could be good."
The waitress returned at that moment and took their orders. The two men never moved their hands and never took their eyes off of each other. She walked away from the table shaking her head, "Men!"
They made small talk until their food arrived, talking about Dean's job at the garage, their brothers, Gabe and Sam, and other general topics. When the waitress had brought their food and walked away, they finally released each other's hands and dug into their food. Hunger won out over words for a while. When the food was half gone, Dean started to speak. "You know a lot about me, now, but I don't know all that much about you. Well, except that Gabe's your brother and you have fantastic taste in cars, food and men." He smiled broadly at Cas across the table, and the blue eyed man laughed. "Modest aren't you, Winchester?" He shook his head slowly, smile still on his face. But he didn't continue. "Cas, you didn't answer me. Tell me more about you, like.. What do you do? You said it was 'family business.' But what kind of family business?" Cas sighed. he knew this was coming. He didn't want to tell Dean about the business. It always made people uncomfortable. It always seemed to turn people off. Fuck it. Might as well tell him now, get it over with before it hurts more than it already will when he leaves.
"My family owns a debt collection agency. Gabe and I make sure that people pay what they owe." He looked at Dean and said, "Whatever it takes. We make sure the company gets their money." Dean's eyes grew wide. "Whatever it takes? What does that mean?" Cas smiled softly. "It means just that. I do whatever it takes to get our money."
This was it. This was where Dean would get uncomfortable and leave. They always did. Everytime Cas ever got to this point with a guy, they'd go running for the hills. "Does that mean violence? Do you break people's kneecaps, Novak? Cuz that's all manner of hot." Dean chuckled, waiting for Cas to laugh with him. But Cas didn't laugh. He just sat there, small smile on his face. "Cas? You don't...You don't hurt people, do you?" Dean asked, with shock in his voice. "Whatever it takes, Dean. My family has been in this business for three generations. It's all I've ever known."
Dean just stared at the man sat across from him, trying to process what he'd been saying. Debt collector. Okay. Not a great job, but whatever. Whatever it takes. Yeah, that the part I'm having a bit of difficulty with. He closed his mouth (he wasn't sure when it had flopped open), cleared his throat and swallowed loudly. "Holy fuck," he whispered. "You have questions, don't you Dean?" The green eyed man nodded dumbly. "So many questions, Cas. But the most important one, and I really need the truth here, is," he took a deep breath and continued. "Have you ever hurt anyone? Like really hurt anyone?" Cas shook his head. "I've never hurt anyone who wasn't trying to hurt me. People can get very... touchy... when I show up at their door." Dean kept staring. Then a thought popped into his head. "Cas," he paused, taking in another big breath and bracing himself for the answer. "When you say 'family business,' do mean family, as in the mob?" Cas just stared back at him, expressionless. "Cas? Are you part of the mafia?"