A/N: Guilt. That's what my main emotion is right now. I'm so sorry you guys. Life has just gotten in the way. Thank you for reminding me that I have a responsibility to you all with this fic. I was seriously going to just let it die. I didn't know which direction to go with it, so it was going to be abandoned. But, I kept getting favorites and follows and comments. You guys are amazing. Thank you so much. So, here it is. The next chapter. Hope you like it. It goes kind of a different direction, but it will make sense soon. I now know where I want this story to go, so... here it is. :)

Chapter 17

Since Gabe had already retrieved his car, Dean decided on 'Plan B'- he'd go see Cas' brother after work. It was probably better in person anyway. Then Dean could plead his case to him, ask how Cas was, and pray that he looked miserable enough for Gabe to give him the info that he wanted.

The day dragged on and on, one car after another, one tedious task after another. Dean knew he had a job to do, but he was so anxious to talk to Gabe about Cas, his mind was preoccupied. "Winchester! What the hell is wrong with you? You forgot the distributor! Get it together, boy!" Bobby's gruff voice made him cringe. "Sorry, Bobby. Just a little... distracted," Dean muttered. Bobby walked over to the young Winchester and held him with a stern look. "Dean... what's going on? You don't forget shit like this. Why are you so distracted? What's goin' on"?" Dean ran his hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's not important, Bobby. By tomorrow everything will be back to normal." I hope. He gave his surrogate father a weak smile and turned back to the car he had been working on. He heard Bobby sigh, but the older man didn'tt push. He left Dean alone for the rest of the day.

When five o'clock came around, Dean put his tools away quickly. He couldn't wait to talk to Gabe and get some info. It's time to man up and get Cas back. He'd just have to get Cas to understand. There is no reason for regrets. What they have (or had) could be a long term thing. Screw his family. Dean didn't really care who they were or what they did. All he cared about was Cas.

Dean pulled up in front of Gabe's town home and took a deep breath. He was excited and nervous. What if Gabe wouldn't tell him anything? What if Cas wouldn't talk to him? Only one way to find out... He knocked on the townhouse door and waited. He knocked again, but still, nothing. He banged hard on the door. "Gabriel! Come on, man! I need to talk to you!" Nothing.

"He's not there." Dean's head jerked to the left and an unfamiliar face. "You're looking for Novak, right? He not here. Left earlier today." Dean squinted his eyes and cocked his head slightly to the side. "I'm his neighbor. He asked me to check his mail for him. Told me he might be getting a visitor. You Winchester?" Dean answered slowly. "Uh, yeah." The neighbor looked Dean up and down. "He said you'd be taller." Dean was confused for a second, then it came to him. "Oh! That's my brother. Anyway.. Did he say when he'd be back?"

The neighbor shook his head. "No. Told me to just keep my eye on the place and get

his mail. didn't say when he'd be back." Dean just nodded slightly. "Uh, well, thanks. If you see him, tell him Dean came by to see him." He didn't wait for an answer. He just made his way back to his baby and crawled behind the wheel. Where the hell was Gabe? How the hell was he supposed to get in touch with Cas now? And why the fuck did Gabe expect Sam at his place?

Cas slept on and off the rest of the day. When he woke near 4 o'clock, his head felt better and he didn't feel like he was going to lose everything in his stomach anymore. He lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. His chest felt tight and he was cold all over. Dean's rejection had hit him really hard, harder than he'd ever expected. He had really thought Dean could have handled his family situation. He had seemed so interested, so invested in their...relationship? Could Cas even call it that? He sighed. It was as close to a relationship as he'd had in a really long time. He had hoped that it would be something long term.

He sat looking at the ceiling, turning things over in his head. Suddenly, his phone started chirping. He leaned over and grabbed it, checking the number. "Hello, Gabriel. I'm fine, before you ask. What do you want?" A chuckle erupted from the other end of the line. "Cassie, you love me! Anyway little brother, I'm pulling up outside your apartment. I've come to help you through this. What are big brothers for?" Cas just smiled. "Really, Gabe, there's no need. I'm just fine. Back to my normal self. No harm done." He tried to make his voice sound as normal as possible, but Gabe could read him like a book. "Bullshit! I'm coming up the stairs." Before Cas could even get out of bed, his front door slammed open, "Here I come to save the day! Wonder Gabe is here to stay! Don't worry baby brother. I'm here to make it all better."

Gabe slammed the door closed and charged over to Cas and gathered him into a tight hug. "My poor baby brother. Let Gabey make it all better." Cas could barely breathe. "Gabe... too... tight.." He forced out. Gabe let him go a and pulled a bottle of expensive liquor out of nowhere. "I've got some medicine to ease your pain, Cassie. Come on. Let's get you drunk." Cas shook his head. "No way. Nuh huh. I've just recovered from my own brand of medicine. Can't you just hang with me for a while? Just be here for me?" Gabe put his arm around his younger brother's shoulder. "Whatever you need, Cassie. That's what I'm here for."

The rest of the evening, they just sat and watched TV, ordering pizza and talking about random things. It was just what Cas needed, a normal relaxing evening, and Gabe didn't say word one about Dean. Well, shit. He hadn't thought about the man since Gabe had arrived. He let out a big sigh. Gabe looked away from the TV, right at him. "Cassie, please talk to me. What really happened? Dean was a mess when he showed up at my place looking for you." Cas shook his head. "It doesn't matter, Gabe. Dean wants nothing to do with me, with our family. He made that clear to me when he walked out."

Gabe stood up and came to sit next to the blue eyed man. "Cassie, he was a mess. He looked devastated that you weren't there. I think you need to talk to him. I think he cares more about you than you think. Just... think about it. Give him a call."

Castiel turned this information over in his head. Dean was devastated? Maybe he was wrong about Dean. Maybe he did care. But... "I don't know how to get in touch with him, short of driving back to his place. And I just can't face him. Not yet." The revelation hit him hard. His excitement over whether or not Dean wanted him died quickly. "We never exchanged phone numbers." He groaned and rested his head on the back of the couch, eyes closed. "What, were you two too busy fucking each other's brains out to exchange numbers?" Gabe said mockingly. Cas didn't answer. "You were! Oh my God, Cassie! I did NOT need to know that!" Cas raised his head to look at his brother. "So, you want to help me? Find a way for me to talk to Dean Winchester."

Dean drove back to his apartment. No Cas, no Gabe, now way to get in touch with his beautiful blue eyed creature. He felt a bit lost. He sat in the living room, TV on, trying to distract himself, when he phone buzzed on the table. He looked at the caller ID and picked up. "Hey, Sammy! What's goin' on?"

"Hey, Dean. I'm at the Roadhouse. I leave tomorrow and I wanna spend tonight with you big brother! Come on, I'll buy you a beer!"

Dean smiled. With all this Cas crap, he'd forgotten that his genius baby brother was heading back to Stanford the next day. "I'll be there within the hour."

He made good on his promise. Forty five minutes after talking with Sam, he was pushing through the Roadhouse doors. Maybe he could just have a nice night out with his brother. A few drinks, a few games of pool, good times. It's be a great distraction from the Cas problem.

After two hours of straight drinking, Dean had no idea where Sam was. He couldn't really remember where he was. It looked familar, but he just couldn't grasp the name of the place. Dean finished what was in his glass and signalled the bartender (Benny was it?) for another. But before he could get his drink, he felt a warm body pressed against his side, and a whisper in his ear. "You look good enough to eat, handsome. Wanna go somewhere and get dirty?" It was a male voice, but Dean didn't recognize it. He turned to look. "Alastair. Haven't seen you in a long time," Dean slurred. The other man helped Dean up from his bar stool, threw some money on the bar and started leading Dean toward the door. Dean's alcohol adled brain was too slow to comprehend exactly what was happening, until the cool night air hit his face. "Whoa! Look, I can't do this Al. Not tonight." But Dean's protests were landing on deaf ears. Alastair kept pulling Dean out to the parking lot, against his better judgement. But that's how it had always been with Al. They'd known each other a few years, had slept together a few times. But everytime they'd been together, Alastair had treated him like shit. He was rough, cruel, and demeaning. And he seemed to use Dean as his own personal toy. "Dean, you know you want this. And even if you don't, it's gonna happen. I made sure you couldn't resist." Dean didn't really know what the man meant. He was trying to pull away, go back to the bar, but his body wasn't responding like it should. "Alastair.." He was now leaning against the man as they walked. Something wasn't right. He didn't feel right. "Wha... what did you..." He couldn't get the words out. He brain wasn't working. He could only lift his head part way to look at the man that he was leaning against. Alastair had drugged him. And he was going to fuck him, rape him, and he could do nothing to stop it. He felt panic build up inside of him, and then... black.

Sam had seen that asshole Alastair walk through the doors. He really hoped Dean stayed away from him, especially with the frame of mind he was in. Everytime Dean felt like he needed to hurt, to be punished for something, Alastair would show up, and was all too happy to oblige. He was toxic to Dean, and Sam hated him with a passion. But he hadn't seen the jerk in a while so he didn't think about it.

The Roadhouse had gotten busy, crowded with people out for a great time. All those bodies were making Sam hot. He needed some air. So he excused himself from the gorgeous young man he'd been talking too and stepped outside to catch his breath. He stood there a few minutes and started feeling less uncomfortable, when he heard his brother's voice. At least, he thought it was Dean's voice. It was so quiet and small. He looked around trying to locate his older brother. He finally caught a glimpse of him, slumped against a random car, with-FUCK! Alastair! And he was looking even creepier than usual. "Hey! Asshole! What are you doing with my brother?" Sam charged toward them quickly. Alastair just took off running, leaving Dean barely leaning against the car. As Sam got closer, he could tell something was wrong. "Dean?" He took in the sight of his brother, disheveled, eyes mostly closed, button of his jeans undone. "Dean! Are you okay?" He grabbed at Dean just as he started to pass out completely. He carried the older Winchester to the Impala and put him in the back seat. Sam got behind the wheel and looked into the rear view window. "Jesus, Dean. What did he do to you?"