Castiel stared at Dean in doorway. There he was, the man that he had wanted to see for months now, staring right at him.
Dean was waiting for Cas to invite him in, but it didn't look Cas was able to really do anything. He was leaning against the door, just staring at Dean. Dean couldn't take his eyes off Cas'. They were blue and deep, like the ocean, but they were also very bloodshot.
"Hey, Cas." Dean didn't realize it, but he was whispering. Cas grabbed Dean by his shirt and pulled him into the room and slammed the door behind him. The two continued to stare at each other, but Castiel still was gripping onto Dean's shirt as though that was the only thing keeping him standing up, and it really was. Castiel kept swaying, attempting to stay standing.
"Cas, buddy, let's get you on the bed." Castiel smiled, slid his hand down Dean's chest and abs and then grabbed his hand. Dean gently pulled Castiel towards the bed and Castiel more than willingly lied on the bed. Dean sat next to him and Cas looked up at him.
"Dean?" Castiel finally spoke. Dean looked down at the drunken angel. Cas reached up and gently scratched the stubble on Dean's chin. Dean closed his eyes and Castiel smiled. He knew that Dean enjoyed that.
"Cas, come on, don't do this to me." Castiel sat up and looked at Dean.
"Do what?" Dean avoided eye contact. He knew if he looked at him he would melt and give in.
"I'm with Lisa now; w…we can't do this."
"Why not?" Castiel widened his eyes and tilted his head, and Dean just about lost it. All he wanted to do was give in, but the thoughts of Lisa and Ben were holding him back. The past few months had been great, but his time with Cas was even better.
"I just…there's so much…you're drunk. Why don't you go to sleep?"
"I do not require sleep. I am an Angel of the Lord." Castiel could feel his eyes getting heavy as he said this.
"Well, you may not require sleep, but I do. It's almost three and I have to be at work in less than five hours. So how about, if I stay in bed with you, we get some sleep?" Dean was trying to make it clear that all they were going to do was sleep. He lied down on his back and closed his eyes.
Castiel watched Dean's chest move up and down, his eyes growing heavier as he did so. Castiel laid down with his head on Dean's chest, moving up and down with his breathing. Dean felt the weight of Castiel's head on his chest, but pretended to be sleeping. It felt good to have Cas there again; it was better than having Lisa there and pretending he wanted to hold her. Dean slowly and gently wrapped his arms around Cas. Cas snuggled into Dean's chest and the hunter and the angel fell asleep, happier than either of them had been in months.
The alarm clock on Dean's phone started shrieking at 6:30; Dean's eyes shot open and he reached over to the nightstand where his phone was and shut off the alarm. He wrapped his arm back around Castiel and closed his eyes again. Then he remembered something. This wasn't some crappy motel room off the highway. Sam wasn't in the nonexistent second bed. He wasn't on a hunt. This was bad.
Castiel's head hurt like it had never hurt before. He truly had never experienced a more severe physical pain, not to mention the 'bump, bump, bump' of Dean's heartbeat right in his ear was making his head throb. Suddenly, the bumping became louder and closer together. His heart rate was rising, but why? Castiel looked up at Dean, but his eyes were still closed.
"Dean?" Castiel whispered. He wasn't one hundred percent sure if Dean was awake or not.
"Hm?" Dean's eyes fluttered open and he looked down at Cas.
"I um…I did not mean to…What happened last night?" Dean chuckled.
"You were drunk, like super drunk. You called me and I knew you needed me." Dean gently ran a hand through Castiel's hair.
"I've needed you for a long time, but I thought that you didn't need me. You only prayed once, and then you went to find Lisa."
"I didn't go to find Lisa. We were in Indiana and you never came by. I couldn't deal with you being gone, Cas. I decided to pretend to move on and hook up with Lisa again. Cas, I haven't stopped missing you or wanting you since the day you left."
"Dean," Castiel sat up as Dean's eyes were filling with tears.
"Cas, as much as I want you, and want to be with you again, I can't. We can't…I'm with Lisa. There's no way I can hurt her and Ben again."
"You just said you were only with her because she was there and I was not there. I am back now and I want to be with you." Castiel stroked Dean's cheek and Dean didn't want to admit how good it felt.
"Cas, I…I've hurt Lisa so much, I can't do it again." Dean sat up and looked into Cas' eyes. They looked hurt and betrayed. Dean couldn't handle that look on Cas' face. He had to look away.
"But…Dean you just said you wanted to be with me. I understand that you do not want to hurt Lisa, she is a fine woman, but I love you Dean." That was it. Dean could feel his heart breaking. Why did this have to happen now? Why couldn't things just be easy? Finally, Castiel decided to do something about his feelings.
Castiel cupped Dean's face in his hands and the two locked eyes. They just stared or a while until Castiel couldn't handle it anymore. He leaned in and planted his lips on Dean's. Dean felt as though the world had stopped.