It had been a long day with my leaving the village early to drive up with the Parsons, so when their son came to pick them up at 6:30 pm, I was already dozing off. Martin told Greg that he would let me rest some more, then take me back to James's which wasn't far away. When he got back inside, he invited me to join him in the leather recliner that seemed to be his favourite chair. We relaxed in companionable silence until I felt myself dozing off next thing I knew, Martin was pulling the duvet over me, and I was snuggled up in his bed.
As Louisa dozed in my arms, I thought that there was no point in taking her to James. I figured that if James brought Rosie back to his home, they wouldn't want to tiptoe around on what was a very special night for them, so I would keep her here with me. As I caressed her arms, shoulders, back, wherever my hands could reach, she burrowed into me some more and I knew she was out of it. She hadn't had more than two glasses of wine, but in her high emotional state, the effect would have been immediate. Plus, she had only picked at lunch. I held her for some time, savouring the pleasurable sensations sweeping over me then I took her upstairs.
My longing for her overcame me when I reached the landing. I turned towards my bedroom and placed her gently on my bed. I didn't think it proper to undress her, so I only removed her shoes, took off her jacket under which she had a matching thin silk camisole, her skirt had an elastic band so no concern there, and tucked her in gently so as not to awaken her. She stirred a little when I asked if I could join her, but I knew she was really asleep. I did my nightly ablutions, got into bed, pulled her against me and cuddled for a long time, listening to her soft breathing.
I had never dared to dream that I would ever have held her in my arms again, let alone her being in my bed, with me. She hadn't shied away from my touch, but I didn't want to be too forward lest I push her away. Today had been a special day for us as parents. I was content to let it stay at that.
I thought back to the night when I had caught her in my arms when she fell forward against me in shock at Chris and Jenny's home. The memory of our subsequent "confessions" still made me cringe. In our conversations since, it seemed as if were becoming friends. I had changed a lot, she not much, save for a sadness that would sweep over her at times. I understood her a lot better now. No more talking at cross-purposes as we used to do in the village. Her favourite line when she called was, "I'm sorry, I seem to have the wrong number, wrong person." Like our son, she brought out the best in me. I laughed more and held my own in our conversations.
Even the people at Imperial noticed the change. Mrs. Green had jokingly asked, "Are you on drugs, taking happiness pills in your old age, Mr. Ellingham?" after I had gotten off the phone with Louisa. "I know you and James have settled in nicely and he has done you a world of good. But this is different. Hope that Doctor Trouble Kent hasn't got her fangs into you again. You were well rid of her."
I gave her my best withering glare. She never blanched, looked at me quizzically and offered up a tidbit. "She has called many times and I have told her that you're extremely busy and travelling a lot."
Louisa stirred once during the night, calling out "Martin." I rubbed her back until she settled down, cuddled up against me and was soon asleep again.
My eyes opened slowly, trying to focus. Bloody hell, I was in Martin's bed with his arms loosely lying across my waist. I wiggled a little, then realized I still had on my clothes. I relaxed, nothing had happened. I lay there enjoying the comfort of his arms and looking out at the dark skies from under which morning was peeping out. I choked up, it felt so safe cuddled up to him, and that's when he stirred.
"Good morning, mother of the graduate, everything alright?" he asked, pulling me closer.
"Now, I am, thank you." I didn't have many wake-up memories of Martin. The most memorable was the morning after he had proposed. He was getting dressed and I had panicked thinking that he was sneaking out on me. He wasn't. This Martin didn't seem in a hurry to get out of bed. I now sensed a need in him that I wasn't sure how to handle.
He slid his hand under my blouse and over my breasts and began caressing them. With increasing urgency, he tugged carefully at my blouse. I leaned forward, allowing him to pull it over my head and lifted my hip as he pulled down my skirt.
"May I?" He turned me around gently by my shoulder so that our eyes met.
"Yes, Martin, " I whispered, lifting my hip again as he slowly rolled my nylons down and slid my knickers off. I was glad I had put on my best for the graduation, it was a day for finery. Not in a million years would I have guessed that anybody but me would have seen them. Well, he had seen me in all my glory many times before, but that was a long time ago. I wondered what he was thinking as his eyes swept over my trembling body. What medical observations was he making - flab, cellulite, wrinkles? With deft, but shaking fingers, he reached behind me and unhooked my bra.
"Louisa ..." His eyes were moist even in the faint light.
I felt like the teenager I was not. I threw my arms around him as he began caressing my bare breasts with his lips and fingers. I moaned, it felt so good, better than I remembered. With the little resolve I had left, I begged him, through the haze of desire that was sweeping over me, "Please don't let us spoil the weekend with something we might regret."
"There would be no regrets from me. But, if this is what you want, I can stop now."
"No, no, it's not that. It's been so long, maybe we're living too much in the past, too much in what could have been."
He lifted his head and looked at me. "We're very much in the present. Tell me to stop and I will." I said nothing. Then he slid down, covered my belly with kisses, whispering, "I worship your womb in which you nurtured our beautiful son." I felt as if I had died and gone to heaven.
I tried to think rationally. I was too old to give in to my emotions, and certainly not these. What if this was all our relationship was to be, a roll in the hay? Was I being unfair to Nathan's memory? Was it too soon after his death? James ... what would he think? What would my friends think? Who was I fooling, hadn't I allowed him to undress me?
In the end, my body betrayed me and years of longing won. After what seemed like hours of delicious touching, he slid out of his pajama bottom, drew me closer and we lost ourselves in long-forgotten and newly awakened passions.
After, as we lay side by side, satiated, looking at each other in wonder, I mumbled, "I don't know if this was a good idea.".
"No regrets. Please," he pleaded. "I thank you for giving yourself to me, it's more than I deserve."
I looked at him, still dazed from what had just transpired between us. I remembered our first time together. Looking in his eyes, I could see that he too was remembering that night. Tonight was our first time together in our new life as reunited parents. I wasn't sure if we could call ourselves lovers.
"Well, hush then. It's Saturday. Let's stay in bed a little longer." Running my hand through his hair, I added with a grin, "I need my beauty sleep. You have worn me out."
"The pleasure was all mine," he retorted. With that, I drifted back to sleep.
Sleep took a little time for Martin as he tried to process what had happened. Not even years of discipline could have prevented his body from responding to the sweet scent of Louisa's hair, the way she fitted into him, the feel of her skin beneath his hands and how vulnerable she looked asleep. When she protested and gave in, he knew that he would do whatever it took to woo her back. "I love you, Louisa," he whispered in her hair before drawing her closer, then falling into a deep asleep.
From out of the fog, I took my phone from Martin. He had retrieved it from my purse lying on the bedside table next to me. It was James.
"Mum, is everything alright? Are you at Dad's?" "Yes and yes."
"Why didn't you stay here or call me?"
"I fell asleep," I mumbled.
"Are you sure everything is alright, are you comfortable?"
Martin took phone from me. "James, your mum is fine. Why wouldn't she be?"
"DAD, are you two in bed together? Oh my God." I could hear the terror in our son's voice.
"Why don't you get some sleep and come over for lunch at about 12:30. See you then." With that Martin ended the call.
The next call was for him. Chris. "Are you awake?"
"What do you think?"
Chris stuttered. "I mean awake as in not occupied. I know Louisa didn't go over to James, he called. I suspect she's still with you." Martin told him the same thing he had told James, get some sleep and come over for lunch at about 12:30.
After our lie in, Martin gave me his robe on the chair next to his side of the bed which I pulled on, then ran to take a shower. I had forgotten my clothes and came back into the room to find Martin had retrieved them from the floor, where he had tossed them, and was waiting for me with them in his hand.
"You should ask James to bring your carry-on, you'll need a change of clothing."
"I know," I laughed. "These would have been perfectly good if a certain person hadn't decided that he preferred me in my birthday suit."
He pulled me down on the bed, "For some things, less is best."
As I showered, I thought about what lunch would be like and suspected that there would be fireworks. James was so like Martin that his would be the direct approach. Toiletries had been laid out for my use and as I meant to do, I texted James to bring my carry-on with him. Martin showered after me and we went downstairs arm in arm.
Breakfast was a light affair - espresso, buttered toast and fruits. By 9:30 am, we had eaten, stacked the dishes in the dishwasher and had found enough to feed our lunch guests. Working together in the kitchen, we made short work of the prep.
I discovered a lovely courtyard in the back that had a table for six and which was partly enclosed by trellises of climbing roses. Beech trees lining the perimeter of the property provided shade. I noticed that to one corner, there was a Japanese soaking tub that Martin said he used for at least six months of the year. I was curious. I had read about it but had never actually seen one. He explained that its Japanese name was furo or ofuro. His was deep to fit his size, sunk almost fully in the ground and could seat four comfortably. "You sit in it for a warm soak that raises the body temperature to relax the muscles. Think of it as a spiritual deep clean. You use it after you have showered first." I noticed that it had a privacy screen, a translucent-like enclosure recessed into two columns set back from the tub. He promised that we would have a soak in it one day.
"Once you experience it as I did in Tokyo, you're hooked." This was something else to look forward to, a warm soak with Martin.
Privately, Martin thought that it might be time to bring the tub inside. The architect had assigned a space for it, but then he enjoyed using it outside. With Louisa in his life, maybe, hopefully … things were different.
While we were waiting on our guests, I thought about what had happened between us earlier. How many times had I fantasized about Martin riding into the village, my knight in shining armour, scooping up me and James and taking us to a place where we were safe from gossip. We would live happily ever after, have one or two more children and lots of grandchildren. I must have sighed because Martin asked, "What are you worrying about now?"
"I'm not worrying, just thinking back to a fairy tale that never happened. Here we are, at our age, trying to catch up."
He put his arms around my waist. "Louisa, there's no catching up. That door has been closedfor a long time. Let's walk through the door that's opening up for us." Then he teased, "I could think of something better we could do now instead of your worrying about the past." With that, he pulled me towards him for a long kiss. Soon our hands began wandering over now familiar territory.
We jumped like guilty teenagers when the doorbell rang. It was James, followed by Chris and Jenny. Retrieving my bag, I went upstairs to change in Martin's bedroom.
Jenny followed me. "So, how was it?" I couldn't pretend with her.
"It just happened, wasn't planned. I was so emotionally spent, I didn't have the strength to think things through, but it was great. I have never felt so comforted in a long time."
"Not the comfort silly, the juicy part. And you're blushing."
I was, or more correctly, the teenager in me was. "Surprisingly, it was good, especially for our age. Martin has always been a brilliant anatomy student and a considerate lover. I think his interest in Eastern culture must have helped." I didn't elaborate.
"I always knew Martin was deeply sensitive. You and James have managed to uncover his soft spot."
Soft spot? Hell, more like his super functional hard spot, I thought with a grin. Jenny zeroed in on my expression. "I'm not being nosey. But I did think he would have been a little rusty after being buried in his work for so long."
"You never forget some things."
She hugged me with tear-filled eyes. "I'm so happy for you. You deserve each other."