When they got back from their walk, Roy was waiting in Edward's room, pacing.

"Ed!" He cried with relief. "I thought something had happened to you!"

"Nah," Edward muttered, glad for his coat hiding his now-stained bandages. He didn't want Roy to know, hadn't wanted anyone to know in the first place. "We just went for a walk."

Envy opened his mouth, and Ed hoped fervently that he wasn't going to say anything about him still trying to self harm. "Before you ask, Alphonse is in the cafeteria getting Ed and him some dinner."

Roy nodded as Edward clambered back onto the bed. As good as it had felt to get up and move, he had to admit his legs were throbbing painfully. He sighed, thumb rubbing the button to call the nurse, but not pressing. Ed really didn't want to disappoint Roy with his lack of recovery, especially after the man had gone and gotten Envy for him. He knew that couldn't have been easy.

"I'm impressed, Ed," Roy said after he was situated. "I know it's only been a couple days, but you seem a little better."

"What are you talking about?"

"There's a light in your eyes," Roy explained. "Before, they were dead…just like when I first saw you after you tried to bring back your mother. Now there's hope again."

Edward knew what hope he was talking about, and it stung him just as much as it helped him. The hope that maybe Envy had changed, maybe he could be a real person, maybe, maybe, maybe…

He traced the button once more.

Envy noticed the pipsqueak fidgeting with the button and sighed internally. He had to get his bandages changed, but evidently didn't want to do it in front of Mustang again. That meant it was his job (more and more ridiculous things were his job lately, what did they think he was, a goddamn fix-all?) to distract the man so Ed could get his bandages changed.

Luckily, he actually had wanted to talk to Mustang. "Yo, I need to talk to you. Outside."

The man sighed, shooting him a fierce look. "Is this really necessary? I brought you here for Ed, not so that I would have to deal with you too."

"What, you think I like having long, drawn out conversations with you? Yes, it's necessary."

Grumbling, Mustang led the way to the door. Envy followed suit, looking back before he closed the door to see that Edward had pushed the call button.

When he turned to face the man, he was faced with a furious expression. He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that would be real scary, Colonel, if I was a puppy." Envy shifted, became a dog. "Whoops, my mistake, still doesn't faze me."

"Would you just ask your question and get over it?" Mustang growled.

Envy shrugged, the movement ushering in his return to his normal form. "Look, all I want to know is why you brought me here."

The man hesitated, raised an eyebrow as a nurse brushed past them and into Edward's room. He moved as though he was going to follow, but Envy stopped him with a firm hand to the shoulder. "Seriously, why?"

As the nurse walked into the room, Edward took off his coat, balling it up and letting it sit on the side of his bed.

"What did you need, Child?"

Somehow the words weren't condescending, and Ed found himself immediately liking this woman. She exuded a certain motherly warmth that he wasn't entirely opposed to at the moment. "I, um, need you to change my bandages…"

Frowning, the nurse checked her chart. "You got your bandages changed yesterday?" Edward nodded. "Then you really don't need fresh ones again just yet—"

Ed held out his wrist, showing her the splotch of fresh blood seeping out from the inside. "I have one on my leg, too," he whispered, avoiding her gaze.

"Oh, you poor Child," the nurse murmured, immediately beginning to unwrap his arm. "How did…?"

"My fingers."

She nodded. "They can take everything from you but your hands, and where there's a will, there's a way. I hope you lose that will real soon, Child, 'cause you don't need to do this."

Ed simply watched as her hands swiped a disinfectant over his wounds, not really noticing the sting. He wished he could get rid of the will, too.

"Why do you do it?"

"What?" Edward snapped out of his daze as she finished his arm and began working on his thigh.

"Why do you hurt yourself like this?"

Ed could see no reason to answer her, but found himself doing so anyway. "I'm in love with a…murderer. And I hate myself for that."

The nurse, to his surprise, smiled up at him. "That's silly. No one can control who they love, you just gotta work with what you've got. I'm sure you can fix him right up."

Edward couldn't help but grin back.

Instead of answering Envy's question, Mustang asked one in return. "Do you mind? Are you really upset that I brought you?"

Taken aback, Envy thought about it. "No," he finally answered as the nurse came back out of the room and bustled off to her next patient. "No, I don't mind…I mean, I wasn't really doing anything until you did, so this is better than nothing. I just want to know why the pipsqueak asked for me."

Again, a question: "What do you feel about Edward?"

Envy thought that he felt he'd like to shove Mustang's head up his ass if he didn't just fucking answer. "I don't understand."

"Do you like him?" the man suggested. "Want to kill him still, want to help him? Are you jealous of him, do you pity him? Do you love him, do you hate him?"

Envy stepped back as though electrified, hitting the wall behind him, hard. What was this, an interrogation? What if the answer was none of those options? What if it was all of them? Reeling inside, he balked at the last few words. Love, hate, what do you feel, Envy?

Edward heard a thump from outside and sighed. They wouldn't be fighting, would they? Well…yes, they might. Ed crept out of his bed and towards the door, pressing his ear to the glass to see if he heard sounds of blows being thrown.

Confused, not wanting to think about the question, Envy finally exploded. "I don't feel anything about the shrimp!" he hissed. "I'm a homunculus! I don't feel, and one little blonde pipsqueak isn't going to change that!"

Pushing past Mustang, he stalked away. He had to get somewhere quiet, somewhere he wouldn't have to consider what had just been asked of him…or what he had just said.

Ed jumped back with the force of Envy's words, an immediate shadow falling over him. So Envy didn't care at all? Didn't even have the passionate dislike needed to hate him? No, Envy had said it all; he was a homunculus and Edward could do nothing to change that.

His breathing became ragged, and that singular thought, that he was nothing to Envy, rolled over and over in his mind. Edward automatically grabbed for his wrists, forgetting about the fresh white gauze and digging his fingers in, hard.

But it wasn't enough. Ed's vision blurred and his heart throbbed violently with his pulse, but it wasn't enough. He needed to cut, to see his blood running down his hands until there was nothing left.

He began to search desperately, yanking on the metal bed frame with all his might, then the doorknob, finally snapping the majority off. He retreated to a corner, hidden behind his bed, and curled in on himself, extending just one arm.

Edward gazed in relief at the sharp, broken edge, pain clouding his judgment, and brought it to his bicep.